Disclaimer: I still own only Ray. All other characters belong to JE.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter posted. I got distracted with seeing the movie. I liked it. I have to say, no matter how dead set against Daniel Sunjata as Ranger I was before I saw the movie, I must say he handled it beautifully. I will be going to see the movie again next weekend with a friend. I should be updating more often starting next week. DH is buying me a desk so I don't have to try to write on the bed, or wherever I can find a place to set the keyboard.

Thank you Wanda517 for letting me know I posted the wrong chapter.

"Ray, can I ask you a question?" Steph said quietly as we pulled out of the Rangeman garage. In the last few weeks since our Come to Jesus meeting, we had developed a routine where after lunch I would go out and help her with her skips, and teach her to be more confident.

"Ask away Steph. I'll try to answer anything you want to know."

"Have you ever thought about what you will do when you can't work in the field anymore?"

I shrugged and glanced over towards her. "I never really thought about it. I had 7 years before I retired from the force in Miami, and now that I'm here, I guess I'll work a desk, or teach new recruits. Maybe I'll keep working until one of the guys gives me nieces or nephews and then I'll retire and open the Rangeman on site daycare. There's lots of stuff I can do, and none of it involves a rocking chair and knitting doilies. Why? What brought this on?"

She sighed softly and turned her head to look out the window. "Joe and I went to dinner at my Mom's last night. They pointed out that I wasn't getting any younger, and that I have no savings, or retirement fund. They're right, I need to grow up and start thinking about the future."

I couldn't help but snort with amusement at that. "Steph, I don't say this to make you feel like a child, but I think you are chronologically closer to High School graduation than you are retirement. You're what 32 33?"

She turned to look at me chewing on her lip. "I turned 35 last week."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I remember 35, I was still young and dumb at 35. My dad used to to tell us that adulthood didn't really start until you were about 30. The older I get the more I realize he was right. Oh you thought you were grown up in your 20's, but it wasn't until your 30's that you realized that kids in their 20's are idiots, and still have no concept of real life. I made a U turn at the next light and headed back to Rangeman, this was going to be a serious discussion. Skips could wait, this talk couldn't."

"Steph, 35 is still young. Happy Belated Birthday by the way. I'm going to be honest with you. I'll be 43 next month, and I have no plans on retiring anytime soon. I figure I'll have to get out of the business eventually, but I'm not dead yet. I'll work at Walmart as a greeter if that's the only job available to me. My great Grandmother used to tell me as a kid that 'You don't start dying, until you quit living.' She was right. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

We parked in the garage again, and I waited for Steph to get out of the car before leading her to the elevator. I knew she didn't do stairs, so we took the elevator to my apartment. I had moved out of Bobby's place and into my own just a week ago. I gestured for Steph to have a seat while I locked the door. I joined her on the couch, sitting cross legged with my back against the arm of the couch so I could look at her.

"Ok, so talk to me. Did Joe and your mom have any constructive ideas on how to fix your current predicament?"

She nodded while staring at her shoes. "They said I should quit my job, marry Joe and become a stay at home wife and mother. Maybe they're right. I should marry Joe, before I get too old and he doesn't want me anymore."

Steph had talked to me a lot recently about Joe and her mom, I think it was because I didn't judge. I didn't tell her what she should do, I just listened, and occasionally offered suggestions. " So you are thinking about marrying Joe as a retirement plan?"

"No! Yes, I don't know!" She whined. I just nodded and reached over to lightly touch her arm.

"Steph, look at me." I waited patiently while she finished studying her shoes for the meaning of life. When she turned to look at me, I gave her a small smile.

"Ok, so let's talk this through. First, forget about money, forget about retirement and everything else. Do you want to marry Joe?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I was married once, it didn't end well. How do you know if getting married is the right choice?"

I sighed softly and sat back thinking. I knew how I felt about it, I just didn't know if I could express it in a way Steph could understand. "I think, and this is just my opinion, that you should marry someone when they are the one person you can't live with out. When they are the first person on your mind when you wake up, and the last person you think about before you go to sleep. When you can tell that person anything with out the fear of being judged. When something happens, good or bad, if that is the first person you want to call, the person who you want to hold you while you cry, or the person you want to celebrate with. That's when you know they are the right person to marry."

She just looked at me for a minute, her eyes looking a little watery. I hoped she wouldn't cry, I wasn't good with tears. "Like Bobby is to you?" She asked.

I blew out the breath I had been holding and nodded. "Yes, like Bobby is to me."

"Ray, if you feel that strongly, why don't you tell him?"

"I almost did once, we ended up through a moment of my own weakness sleeping together, and I wanted to tell him, but he was gone before I could. Our friendship was strained for a long time after that. Once I let go of my hurt and pride, I realized I don't have to tell him. He is still in my life, I can still call him and talk about anything. If I have a bad day, I can still ask him to come over and hang with me. You see Steph. I have it all right now, but if I speak up, and he doesn't feel the same way, I loose what we have. It's not worth it."

"What if he finds someone else?" she asked, as one of her tears escaped and ran down her cheek. I didn't know if she was crying for me, or for herself, but I knew that how I answered this question was going to be important for both of us.

"To answer that I have to tell you a story." I told her as I went to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of soda and brought them back to the couch, handing her one.

"I know I don't talk about my mom much, that's because as much as I love her, I don't like her much. My parents met when my mom was in college. She was writing her thesis on the Plains Indians. She was a cultural Anthropology student, and this was the last step in her degree. Anyway, my parents fell in love and got married. My mom wasn't around much when we were growing up, she was always traveling to give lectures, or study some indigenous people in the back of beyond. When I was a teenager I asked my dad why we stayed if mom was hardly around anyway. He sat me down at the table and said 'Ray, true love is not selfish. Your mom needs things to be happy, and I love her enough that even if it hurts me, I have to let her be happy, and then be happy that she is happy.' I didn't understand what he meant then, but I do now. If Bobby falls in love and decides to be with someone else, then because I love him enough not to be selfish about what I want, I will learn to be happy because HE is happy."

Steph took a long drink of her soda and shook her head. "That doesn't sound right somehow. Don't you have the right to be happy too?"

I shrugged and gave her a smile. "Sure I do, but not at the cost of the happiness of someone I love. That's what I mean about love not being selfish, it means caring about someone else more than yourself. I'm not saying I don't have selfish moments. Moments where I wish I could keep him all to myself, and pretend like the rest of the world doesn't exist, but that's only human."

"What if I don't love Joe like that? What if he doesn't love me like that?" She asked wiping away the last of her tears.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing my Dad does when we ask him the tough questions. I can't make those kinds of decisions for you. Only you can decide what is right for you right now. All I can do is be here to listen, and to support what ever decision you make no matter what that is."

Steph snorted and rolled her eyes. "Oh THAT'S helpful."

I laughed a little. " I know, try hearing it when you're 16 and trying to decide if your current boyfriend is one you want to sleep with."

I had to try hard not to laugh my ass off when Steph's jaw hit the floor. "You… You… You talked about stuff like that with your DAD?"

I shrugged. "Yup, we talked about everything, and I have to say, sometimes I wished he would just tell us what to do instead of just laying out our options and the consequences and rewards of each and forcing us to make our own decisions, but it worked."

"But still… your dad? I can't imagine talking with my parents about sex, or anything else important really." She said still in shock.

"Most people can't, but that's what makes my dad so special. I know that I can tell him anything, and no matter what I say or do, I know he is going to love me anyway."

Steph looked back to her shoes and muttered. "Yeah I wish my mom felt that way. I'm always disappointing her somehow."

"Steph, you can't make everyone else happy all the time. My mom wishes I was married with kids too, but that's just not who I am. I decided a long time ago, that my calling was to keep things safe for other people's kids. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Take me for instance, I love kids, but I'm more of a let's go to Toys R Us and buy Pixi Stix and furbys then send you home kind of kid person. I'd make a great grandma, but I don't want any of my own."

Steph laughed and finally looked up from her shoes. "Yeah I guess I agree with you there."

"See, sometimes you have to make choices that others won't approve of, if for no other reason than to keep yourself sane. I have the utmost respect for Stay at home parents, my dad was one, but if I had to do it, I would loose my mind in short order. No one can make me feel bad about that, because it is just part of who I am. Maybe you should do some serious thinking about who you are, what are the things that you aren't willing to compromise on in your life, once you know that, you'll know what you truly need to make you happy."

We sat in silence for several moments before Steph looked at me again. "You've given me a lot to think about. Would it be ok if we went out to catch skips tomorrow? It's not our usual day, but…"

I gave her a small nod. "No problem Stephanie, just let me know what time and we'll make it work."

She stood up and gathered her things still looking distracted as she walked to the door. "Steph?"

"Hmm?" She said as she turned around to look at me.

"Call if you need anything ok?"

She nodded once before leaving my apartment and closing the door behind her. I stared at the door and grinned, I couldn't help but feel hopeful that maybe our little talk got through to her. I hoped that what ever decision she arrived at, it would be the one that made her happy.

I sighed softly and stretched out on the couch. This little talk with Steph had brought up a lot of things that I wished could have stayed buried. I tried not to dwell on all the things we had discussed.

It was hard not to think about the emotions that bubbled to the surface as I talked about my thoughts on getting married, and how to make the choice that was right for you. I had told Steph that I was ok because I had Bobby in my life, but if I were honest with myself, I would have to admit that there was a distance in our friendship that hadn't been there before. I knew what I had to do, so I forced myself off the couch and over to the phone. I punched in the number closing my eyes as the phone was answered.

"Hey Bobby, It's me. You feel like coming over for dinner?"