Disclaimer: I still make no money off the characters belonging to JE

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. Life got in the way, and if you ever buy Magellan office furniture, save yourself the 14 hour headache and pay the extra $$ to have someone else assemble it LOL

Wanda517, as always you are there to point me in the right direction and let me know when I've ventured too far off the beaten path. I couldn't do this with out you Babe!

I hung up the phone with Bobby, and flopped back on the couch. Talking with Steph made me realize that I had really held a grudge against Bobby, and I was missing the closeness that we used to share. I love all my guys, but I think meeting Bobby when he was older let me look at him as more than just an irritating kid brother.

I glanced at the DVD player to check the time, and realized that I needed to get Lester to come over and program the damn thing for me. AGAIN. If it were left up to me every digital clock I owned would forever blink 12:00. I am technologically retarded, I made my cousins laugh hysterically when I asked them to add me to their buddy list, apparently no one really uses AOL anymore. Who knew? I didn't get that memo. I checked.

I rolled off the couch and walked to the kitchen to check the time on the microwave. Ella set that one for me, so I knew it was likely to be accurate. I realized that I didn't have long before Bobby was due for dinner. I decided on spaghetti for dinner, that's pretty hard to screw up. I checked the cupboard and found the can of sauce with meat and everything. I was Jersey it was probably illegal to serve it, but hey, Bobby knew he wasn't in for gourmet fare.

I set a pot of water on the stove to boil and then headed to the bedroom to put on something not work clothes. I finally settled on a pair of jeans and a soft dark green shirt Steph insisted I get on our shopping trip. I finished getting dressed, and took a few moments to finish my hair.

I was in the middle of finishing up dinner, when Bobby came through the door. When he stepped into view, I almost had to remind myself to breathe. He had changed out of his work clothes, into a pair of jeans and a soft cream shirt that really accented his muscles and beautiful dark skin.

"So what did I do to rate some one on one time with Rangeman's favorite employee?" He asked as he grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge.

"I just wanted to get a chance to hang out and talk. We haven't had time to do that in a while." I told him as I pulled the garlic bread out of the oven.

He drank his beer and leaned against the counter giving me a strange look. "I'll be honest Ray, I thought you'd been ignoring me. We've barely spoken since that night."

I wasn't expecting that response, and I found my self slamming the oven door shut harder than I had planned as I set the pan on the stove. "That's my fault Bobby. We promised each other that it wouldn't affect our friendship, and I was pretty lousy at keeping my end of the bargain."

"Don't apologize, I shouldn't have left the way I did. I just..."

I held up my hand to stem his excuses. I didn't want to hear them. My bruised heart was finally starting to heal, and I didn't really need to relive what happened. "It's cool. Live and learn right? Let's eat while it's still hot."

We filled our plates, and sat at the table to eat. We ate in silence, but rather than the strained silence of just a few days ago, it was a comfortable silence of two friends who know they have been forgiven. We both took our plates to the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher. "So what did you want to talk about Ray?"

I put the last few dishes in the dishwasher. "Let's talk in the living room."

Bobby grabbed another beer for him from the fridge and followed me into the living room where we took a minute to get settled on the couch.

"I had a long talk with Stephanie today."

He took a drink of beer and gestured for me to keep talking. I tucked my legs underneath me and turned to face him.

"She asked me about my plans for retirement. It seems her mother and Morelli have her all stressed out about being able to provide for herself when she gets old."

"Jesus! She's barely over 30." he said.

"Just turned 35 last week according to her. I asked her if they were able to give her any suggestions about what she should do, of course they told her she should just quit her job, marry Joe and let him take care of her."

"She going to do it?" he wanted to know.

I shrugged and took another small sip of my beer. I tried not to drink much if at all these days. It just made me feel like crap. "I'm not sure. When she left here she said I had given her a lot to think about, so who knows for sure what she's going to do."

Bobby set his beer down on the coffee table and shifted to look at me on the couch. "What exactly did you tell her?"

"I told her she would know she was doing the right thing getting married if the person she was marring was the first thing she thought about when getting up in the morning and the last thing she thought about before going to sleep. If she was going to marry the one person she couldn't live with out, then she was doing the right thing."

Bobby stared at me for a long moment before reaching out and pulling me close to his side. I snuggled against him relaxing into his body. "Speaking from experience?" he asked.

"Something like that." I said, closing my eyes praying that he would just let the subject drop. I should have known better and when he spoke again, I started to pray for a work emergency.

"Ever tell him?"

"Steph asked me the same question." I said.

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her I didn't need to tell him. I already had him in my life, and that I could call him anytime day or night and he would be my shoulder to cry on. I don't want to screw anything up by telling him. If he doesn't feel the way, I stand a chance of loosing what we have, and I'm not willing to take that risk."

"What are you going to do if he finds someone else?"

For crying out loud! Did he and Steph have a conference call and compare notes? "I'm starting to have a feeling of déjà vu. I had almost this same talk with Steph earlier today."

"I just don't want to see you hurt. How are you going to handle it if he falls in love with someone else?"

I closed my eyes again and fought the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose. "Then I put on my big girl undies and deal with it. I will find a way to be happy that he is happy, and make sure he has my complete support."

He sat silently for what felt like forever before he pulled away from me slightly. "How long Ray? How long have you been in love with Lester?"

I jumped off the couch and stared at him in disbelief. "What are you talking about? I'm not in love with Lester."

"Tank?" he asked and I shook my head vehemently.

His expression softened to one of both pity and concern. "Oh Ray! You had to have known he was in love with Steph before you moved up here. Why would you put yourself through that?"

I was completely dumbfounded, he thought I was in love with Ricky now. "No! I'm not in love with any of them, I had to watch them grow up for God sake!"

He sat on the couch looking both hurt and confused at the same time as if trying to figure out who I could be in love with and why I hadn't said anything before this. I couldn't meet his gaze anymore. None of this was going right.

"You don't get it do you? The one I can't live with out is you. I should know. I tried."

"What are you saying?"

What was I saying? I was admitting my feelings for him, and he still couldn't see it. I was really starting to sympathize with Rick on the whole Steph situation.

"I'm saying the man I am in love with is you. Always has been."

He reached up and grabbed my hand. "You're in love with me?" I nodded and let him pull me down to sit next to him.

"Ray, I'm sorry…" Before he could say more, I jerked my hand from his grasp and covered my face. There was a reason I didn't want to say anything to him, and that reason was a conversation that started with the words I'm sorry. "Don't, please don't apologize. I never planned on you finding out this way, or at all really. I don't expect anything to change, just forget I said anything thing, please." I lifted my head from my hands and looked at him silently begging him with my eyes to just let this go.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. "Ray," he whispered "I can't just forget."

That was it, I couldn't take anymore. I tried to pull away, and struggled against his grip as I tried not to cry. I wasn't going to cry. I promised that my confession wouldn't change anything, and I wasn't going to show him exactly how heart broken I was. "That's ok. I'll call Kes in the morning. She is qualified to take my place up here. My house hasn't sold yet, and I can…" I wasn't able to finish my sentence because he kissed me. It was just the barest brush of his lips against mine, but still, it was a kiss.

"Shut up. Please. Just listen for a minute. I can't forget about tonight because I love you too. I was saying earlier that I'm sorry I made you feel that you couldn't tell me. It might have saved us both a lot of heartache if we had talked this out earlier."

I was finally able to look at him, and for the first time I saw the same look in his eyes that I had seen in the mirror for years.

"Oh my God! You're serious."

"As serious as the heart attack I was sure I was going to have when I thought you were in love with Santos."

I couldn't help but laugh, and I shook my head trying to clear the image of me with Lester from my mind. Bobby gave me a minute to get the laughter from my system before it was time to get serious again.

"Where do we go from here?" He asked.

"The bedroom?" I suggested. I personally though that it was a wonderful idea. I would love nothing more than to get him naked and in bed.

"I'm serious Ray."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know Bobby, I never thought that far, and I'm pretty sure there isn't a guidebook out there on what to do after confessing your feelings to the person you've been in love with for 20 years."

"20 years? You've been in love with me for 20 years? Why didn't you say something before now?"

I sighed softly, and shrugged. I couldn't believe he wanted to talk about this now. We've just admitted our long standing feelings about each other and he wanted to talk. "Bobby, do you really want to do this now?"

"We do have a lot to talk about."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "We probably do, but talk later. Naked now." I said as I shifted to kiss him my hands sliding down his torso to grab his shirt and pull it from the waist band of his jeans. If he tried to stop me I was going to kill him. He gently extracted himself from me and pulled us both off the couch. My frustration dissolved as he twined his fingers with mine and gave me a quick kiss before leading me to the bedroom.

As soon as the door closed behind us, I was pressing myself against him. I had waited too long for this moment, and I didn't want to take the chance that he might change his mind and want to stop. I was just helping him remove my T-shirt when the shrill ringing of the phone interrupted us. I had for a split second seriously considered shooting the damn thing, but settled on answering it. I was on call tonight, and couldn't risk that this was work.

"Hunter."

"Ray?" Steph's voice was filled with fear, and I could hear she had been crying. "Can you come get me?"

I heard a loud pounding and a man shouting her name in the background, and she started to cry harder before adding "Please."