wow I'm so silly, I uploaded this to my document manager but never posted it. whoops.
I'd like to apologize in advanced since I didn't edit this chapter. I've been having a bit of health problems lately and today I just do not have the brain power haha. Regardless I hope you like this update :)
Holly had caught a cold from someone at school. She had been alternating between sneezing and coughing for hours straight on Saturday morning. When Karen finally took her temperature they decided to take her to the doctor. They had just been putting on their coats when Nancy, who had been sitting next to Jane on the couch, announced that she would go with them. When she stood up she leaned down and whispered in her ear "behave yourselves" before joining her parents by the front door. Once the front door shut behind them the only sound in the house was the sink running in the kitchen as Mike cleaned off his plate from lunch.
They were home alone. Nancy was doing her a favor she didn't entirely understand. She'd never had a boyfriend before (was Mike her boyfriend? They'd yet to explicitly discuss it) and was totally clueless what to do with one in a big empty house. Jane marked the page in her book before closing it and setting it next to her on the couch. There was still a mark on the front door from when Mike's soot covered hands had shut it the night of the bombing. It was a reminder she didn't want or need.
Jane's footsteps sounded ten times louder than usual as she walked into the kitchen. His sleeves were pulled up past his elbows and his bangs were damp and pushed off his forehead. She leaned on the counter next to him just as he shut the water off. "They take Holly to the doctor?"
"Yeah." She told him. Jane couldn't help but notice that he looked incredibly cute with his hair pushed back like that. "Nancy went with them."
She watched his face carefully as he seemed to realize what she meant. His eyebrows climbed high on his forehead and he turned to face her. "No one's home?"
"No."
He leaned on the counter with only an inch away from her. "So… what do you want to do?"
"I don't know." She admitted.
They stood side by side looking out the kitchen window at the view of the backyard. She could see the shed on the other side of the yard. There had yet to be any air raids since the night she ran back into the house to get Holly. Jane remembered how totally irritated she had been with him when she first started staying with the Wheelers. Back when she thought he lacked any depth just because he lived in a house she had only been able to dream of. She felt a bit foolish for being so miserably wrong about him.
She looked up at him. "What are you thinking about?"
His eyes lingered on the view out the window before he looked down at her. "The day that you came you kind of freaked out on me a little bit. I told you that you were a VIP and you got all upset with me." Jane tried not to cringe at the memory of the awful first impression she must have made. "I thought you would loosen up a little bit later on but I could tell that you were dealing with a lot. So I tried to make you smile, like, every day." Mike laughed quietly and shook his head. "Then when you finally did smile I wasn't even trying that hard."
Jane grinned. She had likely only smiled because of how much of an emotional wreck she had been in the moment. "I should have come with some sort of warning sign that I'm a little sensitive." She joked
Mike turned to face her. "Do you have any idea how confusing it was when the first time I ever saw you smile was when you were crying?" He asked. She couldn't help but laugh. It wouldn't have come as a surprise if he told her everything she did the first month she was there confused him. "You look so sad when you're crying, but then you started smiling. And I never wanted to see you not smiling."
She put her arm around his waist and leaned against him. "Like you?" she asked. "You're going to get so many wrinkles when you get older because you're never not smiling."
"Yeah?" he said. "I bet you'll look young forever from all that time you wouldn't smile."
"All the cosmetic companies trying to find the secret to youth should give me a call."
She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. He was unfairly good looking. She wondered if everything he said about him and his friends being too nerdy for girls at school to look their way was just lies to make her feel better. Jane wished that all the girls from her school who used to tease her for dressing like a boy could see her with Mike. He never seemed to mind that she wore pants and baggy t-shirts, or that she liked her hair short, or that she didn't act like a lady. It was one of her favorite things about him. He never once tried to change her.
"What are you thinking?" Mike asked her.
"I'm thinking that I'm pretty lucky that I got stuck with you guys." She told him. "And not with someone who wouldn't really care about me."
Mike put his arms around her waist. "You know, when my parents told me that we were going to be hiding a girl in the nursery I had no idea what to expect." She could feel him start to trail his fingers up and down her back and hoped he couldn't feel the shiver that shot down her spine. "I didn't expect to be totally head over heels in, like, three days."
She raised her eyebrows. "Three days? That was it?"
"Yeah, that was it." He said. "I can't resist a girl that isolates herself and hides behind books."
Jane laughed, "It's a miracle you noticed me at all."
"I noticed you the day you got here."
She stood on her toes and kissed him. The feeling of him smiling against her lips was completely addicting. With no one home they didn't have to worry about escaping upstairs or into an empty room and trying not to be too suspicious. Even though she figured it was only a matter of time before the Wheelers figured them out they still tried to keep the secret as best she could. But with the house empty she didn't have to worry about anyone seeing them. Kissing him felt even better when she didn't have to worry about being caught.
Jane could feel every hair on her body standing on end when Mike's fingers started trailing up and down her back. It was wild to her that his touch could have such an effect on her while she could feel nothing when someone else reached for her. There must have been something about Mike that made him so special and set him apart from everyone else. Something in his DNA or his chemical makeup. There had to be something that could cause her to all of a sudden become so boy crazy.
Mike's lips left hers and moved along her jawline. She kept her arms wrapped around his neck and rested the back of her head on the cabinets that she was just tall enough to reach. Her body temperature was climbing like a hot oven. Though she had no clue if he noticed his own skin under her hands felt warm.
She had no clue how long the family would be out for. She also had no clue how long they stood in the kitchen like that. Jane could feel her thoughts getting fuzzy and faded and she forced herself to pull away from him. His cheeks were flushed bright pink and his eyes looked as cloudy as her mind felt. It was difficult to keep herself from letting her eyes drift down to his lips.
"How long do you think they'll be gone?" she asked quietly. Her voice wouldn't let her speak much louder than a whisper.
Mike glanced down the hall and towards the front door. "I don't know. Probably an hour, at least. Her doctor is pretty far away." He looked back down at her. "Why? You worried?"
She nodded. "I mean, it would kind of suck if they saw us." Jane said. "They might make some ground rules if they found out."
"Yeah, that would suck." Mike agreed. "We can go to my room. I can leave the windows open so we'll hear the car come back."
Jane had been inside Mike's room dozens of times, mostly in the weeks following the bombing. If he wasn't sneaking up to her room she was sneaking into his. But with someone else in the family always home they knew there was only so much they could do and so much time they could spend together before one of them had to go back downstairs.
Now the house was empty. Technically, they didn't have to do anything. Nervous butterflies sprouted up and fluttered about in her stomach. Something about the idea of being in Mike's room with no one home felt very different. She had probably been reading too far into things, since that was something she was so good at. Jane wondered what her friends would have done if they were in her situation. Gwen likely would have raced him up the stairs.
Only you would have a total freak out at the idea of being alone with your boyfriend they would have said to her. They would have been right. What the hell was she so scared of?
"Yeah, okay." She said, "That sounds good."
She kept her arm linked with his as they walked from the kitchen to the stairs. Inside her chest her heart started beating faster but she ignored it as best she could. What was there to be so nervous about? It was just Mike. They'd been alone dozens of times before. Did it really matter so much that there was no one else in the house? Probably not. But one of her greatest talents was worrying and she didn't know how to make herself stop.
Once they were up in his room he only closed the door over. The last time they'd been in his room with the door open was when Nancy caught them kissing the day after the bombing. With it still somewhat open she felt exposed. But, as usual, she felt better with Mike. She followed him as he walked over to the window next to his bed and opened it. She sucked the little bit of fresh air into her lungs and let out a sigh.
Jane could feel him looking at her but her eyes were fixed on the street outside. There were two children drawing on the pavement with chalk. "What would you do if the war ended right now and you could go outside?"
She fell silent as she thought about her answer. It wasn't a scenario she imagined often since it usually made her feel bitter and depressed. But she figured it was something she had to consider at some point. As long as she was still inside the house there was a chance she could get out on the other side alive. "I would just go out and breathe the fresh air. And I wouldn't wear a jacket. And I wouldn't even worry about getting hit by a car."
"Why not?"
"As long as I die after the war is over I'll die happy." She tore her eyes away from the window to look at his face. "There isn't much more I can really ask for." Jane watched his face carefully as he thought over what she said. Though she wasn't good at reading people she knew enough to see that he wasn't particularly pleased with the idea of her getting hit by a car. "What would you do?"
Mike glanced down at the window and bit down on his bottom lip. She couldn't help but notice how cute he looked. "I would call my friends." He said. "And tell them about the girl that's been living with us and how totally crazy I am about her."
Jane couldn't help but grin. "Has it been hard to keep it from them?" She asked. "It's kind of a big secret. I've never been able to keep something like that from my friends."
He was silent for a moment. Hardly long enough for her to notice. "It's pretty hard, yeah." He told her. "But whenever I wanna say something I just think about how I would feel if you got taken away because of me."
Inside her chest Jane could feel her heart squeeze. She had a feeling that Mike was good at worrying about things and beating himself up more than he needed to. Though he never said much about it he had said more than once how her safety was almost constantly on his mind. She felt guilty that she had become such a burden to him, but she knew if she were to mention it that he would call it anything but a burden.
So instead of mentioning it she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. "I bet once you can talk about me your friends would be annoyed to death with you."
"Definitely." He agreed. Considering how thin he was he always held her so tightly. "It will happen one day, you know. No war can last forever."
"The Dutch-Scilly War was 335 years." Jane said. Was it her stubbornness or her pessimism that made her always feel the need to contradict everything he said? Either way she wished she could make herself stop.
If she were Mike she would have been completely fed up with her by then. But instead he just shook his head. "I doubt it will last that long. It will be over soon."
"How do you know?"
"I just do."
She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. In a million ways she wished she could be like him. Not just in the obvious ways that would make her life easier (such as being a white, non Jewish male) but in his spirits as well. The only time he ever seemed truly shaken by something was the day the solider came to the house. Even the day of the bombing he was grinning at her with a smile that cracked his face in half and told her that her runny make up looked good. Mike was able to find the good in everything. Even in the bitter girl living in his house.
"I feel very lucky to have you." She said. It wasn't uncommon that she would feel the need to tell him how much she cared for him. She didn't do it nearly enough and she knew if something happened and she never saw him again that she would feel guilty if he didn't know how much he meant to her.
Mike pressed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm the lucky one."
She put her hands on the back of his neck and pulled him down just enough for her to reach him. Their lips met and they seemed to pick up right where they left off in the kitchen. His hands on her waist kept her anchored in her spot, which she was thankful for since she often felt her knees go weak when he kissed her. Everything around them seemed to melt away. The feeling of the breeze and the sound of children's voices outside faded until they disappeared and the only sensation she experienced was Mike kissing her.
Alone in his bedroom with his lips on hers she never thought about the war or the soldiers hunting people like her down or the people she had once known that seemed to disappear off the face of the earth. There was only her and Mike and his bedroom. If she could have she would have kissed him all day and night.
Was it her that started walking towards his bed first or him? She didn't know. She didn't particularly notice either until the back of her knees hit the mattress and she stumbled backwards. His hands grabbed onto hers as she fell onto her back and, accident or not, she didn't at all mind that she brought him down with her.
Mike made no attempt to move off of her, and she didn't try to make him. She could see his eyes darting across the features of her face but didn't find herself feeling self conscious in the lightest bit. Had she been under such close inspection a few months back she would have made an excuse to leave the room. Instead she was totally comfortable. She often marveled at how everything about her relationship with Mike had changed in just a few months.
He leaned down and kissed her again. As she always was whenever she wasn't standing she was thankful that she didn't have to worry about collapsing when he touched her. His body was so close to hers and he kissed her in a way that she wasn't quite used to, both of which left her head spinning. She felt as if she had stepped onto a new carnival ride she had never tried before and she was throwing her hands in the air. Only metaphorically. In reality her hands were on the back of his neck.
When his lips left hers she only had time to be disappointed for a split second before he started trailing kisses down her jaw. It was the last bit on convincing she needed to be sure that Mike's kisses held some sort of magic within them. Maybe he was a magician in his spare time. He was enough of a nerd that it wasn't totally out of the question.
His kisses moved further and further down until she was glad she had opted out of the top button of her shirt that day. The rational part of her brain was getting softer and softer but she could still hear it telling her that he was going to leave a mark on her skin and that she should stop. Every other part of her brain reminded her that they hardly ever got time truly alone together. She listened to this part as she gripped onto his neck and let sounds that had never come from her body before escape her lips.
Laying on Mike's bed while he kissed her neck restored her faith in heaven. If she had been a good enough person she was sure that her after life would consist entirely of being kissed by Mike Wheeler. There could be nothing else better in existence. Anyone who thought otherwise had not had the opportunity to kiss him. She couldn't help but wonder if he had many girlfriends before meeting her since he was so good at kissing. It was a bit suspicious but in the moment she didn't care.
Rita's older sister had given Jane the talk. She was pretty sure her dad asked her to since he felt to awkward to do it himself. It was probably better that he hadn't. Jane had been sitting in Rita's bedroom with both her and her sister. Angela was three years older than them and even more intimidatingly beautiful. Yet, just like Rita, her personality was even more attractive. She had told them about a boy she'd been seeing and that they planned on getting 'a bit more serious' in her words. Jane had heard of sex before but was still only an outsider who didn't understand looking in.
Rita seemed to know just as little so Angela explained it to them. How it's something they should have waited a little while for and could never, under any circumstances, do without reinforcement. She said it hurt and that sometimes there was bleeding, but when she saw the horror in Jane's face she quickly added that it didn't last long.
"Well what's the point if it hurts?" she had asked. "What's so good about it?"
Angela only smiled and said. "When you find the right person you'll see the appeal."
Jane had found the right person. And she understood the appeal. Would it hurt more than the time Elizabeth Peterson had accidently knocked her down half a flight of stairs in the ninth grade? She doubted it. She wasn't sure how much she would bleed but Mike's bedsheets were a deep navy so she figured it wouldn't be too bad either way. The only thing she was unsure of was how to go about telling him what she wanted.
She did, after all, have a way with words.
Jane searched and searched for something to say. But everything she came up with sounded silly even in her mind. Besides, even if she found something she wasn't sure her voice would work if she tried. Instead she moved her hands down to his chest and pushed him off of her so she could sit up. Without looking at him directly she grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up over her head. The draft coming in through the window made her feel cool but her face was still burning warm. She was too nervous to look at him so she quickly kissed him again and put her hands on his neck and leaned back down.
Time was a concept she could no longer wrap her head around. They could have been there for hours, but they could have been there for 30 minutes. She couldn't tell either way. Bit by bit layers of clothes were discarded and thrown to the floor. It wasn't until there was only one layer for them to take off that Mike pulled away and looked at her. His eyes looked just as cloudy as her mind felt.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked. The worry in his voice was as clear as the sky outside.
Her eyes drifted down to a mark she had left on his collarbone. She hoped that he had a shirt with a high enough collar to cover it. "Yes."
"Like 100% sure."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Like 200% sure."
"Okay, okay, sorry." He said as he reached over towards his nightstand. "I'm just checking."
Although his need to check on her was borderline agitating she was thankful that he cared about her enough to worry so much in the first place.
xXx
The sound of a car door outside sent them wide eyed and alert. Jane clutched the blankets as Mike stumbled out of bed and peered out the window. She was thankful they were on the second floor so that they had a bit of time to gather themselves before the family came up. He didn't even need to say it was them, Jane could hear Holly's voice through the open window. She jumped out of bed and darted to the door to close it all the way.
When she turned back to face Mike he tossed her clothes to her across the room and she pulled them on as fast as she could. She was working on the buttons of her shirt when she heard the front door open downstairs. His hair was a bit of a mess, but it usually was anyway. She stood in front of the mirror and she tied her own hair up into a knot the moment she saw how much of a mess it was. Her eyes then spotted the marks scattered across her neck. She pulled down her collar to find even more underneath her shirt. Jane shot him a glare in the reflection of the mirror.
"Sorry." He said. But the smile on his face was a dead giveaway that he wasn't sorry at all.
She did her buttons up all the way to the top and groaned. "I feel like I'm choking." She muttered.
Mike came over and tucked a piece of hair that was too short to fit into the ponytail behind her ear. "Maybe you can borrow some makeup from Nancy to cover it up."
"Absolutely not." She said. "I don't want her to see." Jane glanced at herself again in the mirror. "I'm going to go see if I have a sweater I can wear or something. I'll be back."
She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek before heading for the door. Just as she started heading for the stairs Nancy came up to the second floor. She only had time to wonder if all the marks were covered before she saw her eyebrows shoot up high on her forehead.
"You guys have fun?" Nancy asked. Jane could hear the suggestion in her tone.
"Yeah."
"I can see that."
Her hand instantly shot up to her neck while her cheeks turned bright red. The fact that she was Mike's sister made it ten times as embarrassing for her to have an idea of what they had just done. Nancy met her in the middle of the hallway and nodded towards her bedroom behind her. "Want to borrow something to cover them up?"
Jane was too mortified to speak so she simply nodded and followed Nancy to her room. It wasn't until she was sitting in the chair at her vanity while Nancy dug through her things that she found her voice again. "Please don't tell your parents."
She heard Nancy snort. "I wouldn't dream of it." She said as she pulled out the bottle of liquid skin color. "You can't leave the house, so if figure you should be able to have as much fun inside as you can. As long as you guys are responsible."
Jane's cheeks felt even warmer but she couldn't hold back a smile. Growing up she had always wanted an older sister. She felt like she was as close to having one as she could get.