It took Kayla a while to find Shane, and the more she walked around the estate, the more she pictured Steve's bloody lip. So when she finally spotted Shane walking aimlessly amidst a clump of trees, her anger had returned. "How could you?" she yelled. "How could you hurt him like that?"

Shane stopped walking and looked at her. In a calm voice, he said, "I only wanted to incapacitate him. A punch to the liver hurts and the target is disabled, but I didn't hit him hard enough to cause any lasting damage."

"Lasting damage?" Kayla could not believe what she was hearing. "A few days ago, he could barely walk. You could've grabbed him in a headlock or something."

Shane sighed. "No, I couldn't. Steve was too out-of-control. If I got him in a headlock, he would have forced me to cut off the oxygen flow to his brain until he went to sleep. If I put him in an arm-bar, he would have forced me to break his arm." Shane turned away. "I just wanted to stop him before he hurt anyone, especially you."

"Steve would never hurt me, Shane," Kayla said, still angry. "You don't need to protect me from my own husband. You should have just left him alone."

"Maybe not intentionally," Shane said. "But the way he was, the way he was swinging so wildly, he could've easily missed me and hit you. If you're so worried about him, think about that. What would've happened to him if he wound up hurting you by accident?" Shane shook his head slowly. "There was no other way. I wish there were, but there wasn't."

He turned and ran his hands through his hair, a sign that Kayla recognized as one of frustration. The anger left her. She knew Shane was hurting and knew that he probably was telling the truth when he said he had not wanted to hurt Steve. Kayla also had to admit that Steve had been pretty out-of-control.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I know you thought you were protecting me, but hitting him just made things worse."

Shane turned to her. "He's not in his right mind, Kay. What happens if he loses control and I'm not there?"

"That won't happen, Shane. I already told you, Steve would never hurt me." Kayla thought back to her talk with Steve. "Besides, he's more angry at you than at me, really."

"Fine, if that's what he needs to do, I can handle it."

That was so much like Shane, she thought. Always ready to step into the line of fire.

There was a long silence between them, as Kayla tried to figure out what to say next.

Shane spoke first. He slowly looked around at the trees, almost wistfully. "You know, when I was a boy, this is where I'd come to think. I'd just climb the highest tree and sit there for hours, just thinking." He looked back at her, with a sad half-smile. "Sometimes I'd think about the future, how I'd have great adventures and, one day, I'd have a family of my own. A wife. Kids. Everything would be so good, so right."

This was probably the most open Kayla had ever seen him, and she stepped forward. "Shane, you can still have that."

He shook his head. "You say that, but we both know it's not true. The two of us worked because we knew the limits of what we could give each other; because of what we'd lost. You got that back." He paused. "Me? That's not going to happen and there won't be anyone else who's willing to accept those limits."

Kayla had to admit there was some truth to that. What had she said to Shane when they were in the mountains? That she feared that she would never be able to love anyone because they would expect her to stop loving Steve. She reached out and took his hand. "I wish I could make this easier for you."

Shane laughed weakly. "Ah, the irony. That's what I've been saying to myself ever since we found him. I was going to make this easy for you. I'd just stay out of your way and let you and Steve work things out." He looked at her. "I'm sorry. I guess I made a mess of things."

Kayla thought back over the past few days and how Shane had disappeared for long stretches. She had assumed he was avoiding her to prevent her from having this talk after her callous comment to him in the stables, after she had told him their relationship was meaningless. That was probably one his reasons, but she should have known that wasn't all there was to it.

Earlier, she had told Steve that her love for Shane had died, but that was only partly true. They still had a bond, a friendship, and even a love of a sort. She couldn't really explain it. It was nothing like the love she had for Steve, but she cared for Shane deeply, and she hated that her happiness had come at such a price to his.

"It's not your fault, Shane, and I guess I've been rather selfish not to think about how hard this is for you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said. "All along, I said I just wanted you to be happy. So go be happy, Kay. I don't need your pity."

"Dammit, Shane Donovan," she felt her anger rising with her voice. "Why do you make it so damn hard for people to care about you? You helped me through a terrible time - a beyond-terrible time," she said. "And I'm grateful to you for everything you did for me and Stephanie."

She reached into her pocket with her free hand and pulled out the ring once more. She suspected this might be the only time they really had to talk. She doubted Steve's anger toward Shane was going to diminish, especially if he was using Shane as the lightning rod for his pain, jealousy and guilt. And Kayla knew she needed to make her relationship with Steve her top priority. She opened up Shane's hand, placed the ring in it, and closed his hand around it. This time, he took it.

"You're a good man, Shane Donovan. You're a good man and you deserve to be happy." She gave his hand a squeeze and let go of it.

Shane opened his hand and looked down at the ring. Then he looked at her and she could tell that he couldn't have masked his emotions even if he tried. He looked so wounded, so in pain, that she was reminded of how she felt when Steve died. Then he nodded and said, "I'll do my best to make this easier for you."

With his other hand, he reached out and brushed her cheek like he had done so many times before. Then, as if he suddenly realized what he had done, he jerked his hand back. "Sorry," he said. "Force of habit, I guess." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'll do my best, Kay, but I can't just pretend I don't care. I can't just flip a switch and stop caring about you and Stephanie."

Kayla understood exactly what he meant, but she knew better than to say anything further. She gave him a slight nod and then turned around and headed back to the house.