I want to thank all you wonderful readers who are going on this journey with me. You guys are awesome. I am glad you have liked the results so far. This chapter is short, I do apologize for that, but I wanted to give Sam his on chapter, to give a little of what I think he is feeling and who better to help him than Jodie, I knew I brought her aboard for a reason. Enjoy and please let me know good or bad? Your reviews boost the writing demon in me.

NC

"Good night Sam." she called hoping he would talk later. Jody walked to the table and looked at the overflowing duffel of books. She stacked them neatly on the table so they would be ready for Sam in the morning.

These boys were like family to her, hell they were family and she wasn't sure how to help them. If only Bobby were still here, they would listen to him before anyone else. She headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed feeling concerned and sad about the situation she walked into.

Chapter 4

A soft sob caught Jody's attention as she came out of the bathroom. She paused and listened carefully for it again. Walking slowly toward the bedroom across from hers, she stopped at the open door and looked in.

Sam was sitting on Dean's bed faced away from her. She noticed his hunched shoulders and bent head. Listening closely, she heard a sob escape.

"Sam." Jody said softly as she walked over to the distraught man. She laid a hand gently on his shoulder. He raised his head and looked up into her caring eyes. His lips trembled uncontrollably as huge tears slipped from his tortured eyes. "Oh, honey." Jody cried letting her mother instincts kicked in.

She wrapped her arms around Sam as she sat down beside him. Sam let his head rest on her shoulder while he sat there limp and despondent, but for the tears soaking her shirt. Jody put a hand to his cheek mumbling softly in the young man's ear. Her heart was breaking for him as she blinked back her own tears. Sam stayed in her embrace letting her give him comfort.

Sam felt Jody's gently touch pulling him into her embrace. He had never felt so alone as right now, almost all of his family and friends were gone, and now he was losing his brother too. The sheer weight of everything had finally drug him down and he didn't know if he could pull himself back up.

He wept for all those that had died too soon, for those that were taken from him, for all the mistakes he had made and for the cruel words spoken in anger to his brother. In those few sentences, he had caused more pain to his brother than in all the wrong decisions he had made his entire life. The pain was so unbearable and tightening his chest so much, he could hardly breath. His body tensed as he tried to draw in oxygen to his burning lungs.

"Sam, Sam, honey breath!" Jody urged trying to push his heavy weight back so she could see his face. He had literally collapsed on her and she was struggling to hold him up.

Sam finally pulled himself up slightly as he struggled to inhale a much needed breath. He started to panic when the attempt to pull in a shaky breath made his vision blur and the room spin. Why couldn't he breathe? Jody grabbed his face and held it tightly as she spoke slowly to him.

"Sam Winchester, you listen to me. I need to you relax and let yourself breathe. Slowly, let the air out and pull it in. Concentrate on my voice, nothing else! In and out, come on, in and out." she continued knowing he was going into a full blown panic attack. She had dealt with this before and knew he needed to calm down. "Let your body do its job, now take a breath for me."

Sam listened to the sound of her voice and tried to make his body obey. After a couple of seconds, he was able to pull a small amount of air into his lungs. He drew in another short breath as the room stopped spinning. He was able to see Jody's face now and the concern on it. She smiled softly and kept encouraging him take in more oxygen. His body began to release as he was finally able to draw in a lungful of air and let it out.

"Better?" she asked trying to keep his attention focused on her.

"Yeah." he responded hoarsely as he let himself gulp another breath.

"Honey, will you talk to me?" she begged brushing his shaggy, long hair out of his face. "Let me help you, please."

"I-I-I want my brother back." he stuttered out as a new onslaught on tears began to fall. He turned his head to hide his shame of breaking down in front of her.

"No, Sam, don't be afraid to show your pain, you need to get this out, don't bottle it up." she told him. "Talk to me please."

"I don't know what to say." he deflated.

"What's in your heart, say what's in your heart."

"I hurt my brother so bad with my words, with my actions, I've lost him and I don't know how to get him back."

"You don't give up on him, or on yourself. You're a Winchesters, you always find a way." she said sternly.

"What if he's too far gone for him to forgive me? What if I can't pull him back?"

"We're talking about your brother here, he survived Hell. Sam he is the strongest person I know."

"I told him we were not brothers anymore, we were not family."

"Oh Sam, I know you had your reasons for saying something like that. And I also know you didn't mean it."

"He may never forgive me for that."

"I think you underestimate your brother. He loves you more than life itself, you know that." Jody whispered pulling his chin up to look into his eyes. "You need to talk to him. Really talk to him and don't take no for an answer."

"But…"

"No, damnit, you need to talk to him before it is too late. He's still in there, I know it. You can make things right, you have to have faith."

"Faith." he mused shaking his head.

"Yes, faith, I know that may be hard after all you've been through, but I still believe, and I believe in you and your brother."

Sam wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt as stray tears still made their escape from his eyes. He shivered as he clenched his hands into fists. He looked at the strong, fierce, determined woman sitting beside him, wondering how she could have so much confidence in him. A small smile twitched his lips as he remembered the first time they had met at that diner in Sioux Falls. Bobby about had a duck when she recognized his voice on the phone.

"Sam, it'll be alright." Jody assured him as best she could. This time thought, she was really feeling uneasy about what the outcome may be. For once, she had her concerns for the boys. "You boys, you're like family to me, always have been. I couldn't love you and your brother anymore than if you were my own boys."

"Jody, how did you get to be so wise?" Sam sighed giving her hand a squeeze. "Thank you."

"Aw-w, you're welcome." she smiled patting his hand. "You have to have patience and you need to talk to your brother."

"I know. I've put it off long enough. I have to make him understand and I have to find a way to save him."

"That's my Sam."

"I guess we should get some rest, I need to talk to my brother and start my research first thing."

"That's the spirit." she said getting up off the bed.

"I think I'll stay here just a few minutes more." he said glancing around at his brother's room.

"Ok." she said patting him on the shoulder. "Try to get some sleep."

"I will." he said listening to her leave. He stretched his body out on Dean's bed and closed his eyes remembering when his brother had taken care of him when he was sick and when he was injured in a hunt. He took in the smells that were Dean as he pulled the pillow closer. Yes, he would find a way, he would get his brother back.