Kim sat on the bench by the pond waiting for Steve to arrive. She knew that he usually visited this spot in the afternoon while Stephanie was napping. She also knew there was no guarantee he would show today. She had waited for him twice in the last few days only to later find him taking a walk with Kayla or talking with Kayla at the house. She was glad that the ice seemed to have thawed between Steve and Kayla, but it was putting a crimp in Kim's ability to talk with Steve alone.
Kayla had told Kim that she and Steve were talking things out and working through their problems. Kim was happy for her sister, but she couldn't help but feel a little angry. Kayla had Steve back and whatever Steve might feel about Kayla being involved with Shane, Kim knew that they would get through it. Somehow Steve and Kayla had always managed to work through their issues. So, why couldn't she and Shane have managed to work through theirs? And why did Kayla get the man she loved back while Kim had to watch the man she loved pine for her sister?
Kim knew she wasn't being completely fair. Kayla had no idea that Steve was alive when she got involved with Shane. But she knew I was alive and well, and that didn't stop her. Kim could not silence that bitter voice.
She turned as she heard footsteps on the path. Steve stopped for a moment when he saw Kim, but then gave a little grin and kept walking to the bench.
"My, what a coincidence. I decide to come and get a little fresh air and I just happen to find you here," Steve said in a sarcastic, but teasing tone.
"Well, it is a very pretty spot," Kim answered. "Besides, how was I to know that you wouldn't be spending the afternoon with Kayla?"
"Maybe because I saw you listening outside the kitchen when Kayla told me she was going to be making some phone calls back to Salem this afternoon?" Steve said, the twinkle still in his eye.
"Okay, you caught me. Congratulations, Detective Johnson. You solved the case," Kim said, giving a little bow.
Steve chuckled and sat down. "So do I get to guess why you're here or should we just cut to the chase?"
"I know you hate the idea, Steve, but I was hired to do a job and I have to at least try to justify my paycheck." Kim decided that as long as Steve's good mood held, she would play along.
"Yeah, you're just trying to do your job. But the problem is that I don't need help. I'm fine. I'm getting stronger every day and I'm not even having the nightmares every night anymore."
Kayla had told Kim that the nightmares were less frequent, but she had also said that they seemed to be more intense, that it was harder to wake Steve when he was in the trapped in a dream. This worried Kim as it sounded like the nightmares were becoming flashbacks.
"I'm glad that you're not having the nightmares as often as before, Steve. I'm sure that regaining your strength and getting some distance from your time in the compound has helped that. But you need to know that it doesn't mean you are getting better."
"What does that mean? How is having less nightmares a bad thing?" Steve asked, his exasperation evident.
"It's not a bad thing, Steve. But . . . answer me this. When you do have nightmares are they more intense than the ones you were having before? Does it feel like it's harder to wake from them and shake them off?
Kim watched Steve closely and could see the truth and concern in his eye before he answered. "I don't know," he said. "They're just nightmares." She knew he was lying or, perhaps more precisely, in denial.
"Okay," she said. "What is the one thing you remember the most from those nightmares?"
She again watched closely for his reaction. She saw him clench his hands into fists and flex his wrists and forearms. Shane had told her about the restraints and she had seen the scars on his wrists. She could also see that he was no longer paying attention to her, but was staring out at the pond.
"Steve?" she said sharply. When he turned and looked at her, she asked again, "What do you remember from your nightmares?"
"Nothing." Steve said, the edge back in his voice. "So why don't we just drop this? Now."
Kim contemplated pushing further, but she could see the storm building in his eye and knew that she needed to leave things be for the moment. The seed was planted and, once again, he had opened up just a little bit more - maybe not in words, but in his expressions. He had allowed her to ask some questions and he was thinking about what she had said. Baby steps.
"Okay. If you don't want to talk about your nightmares, how about we talk about you and Kayla instead?"
"Kayla and I are fine," Steve said, visibly relaxing with the change in subject. "Or at least we're going to be fine."
"I'm glad to hear that," Kim said sincerely.
Steve turned and gave her a curious look. "Really? After everything Kayla has told me, I'd expect you to be a little less . . . supportive. I mean, Kayla was involved with your ex-husband."
Kim sighed. "I'm not going to pretend that was easy to deal with because it wasn't." It still isn't, Kim thought silently. "But Kayla is my sister and I love her and, no matter what is going on between us, I do want the best for her."
"You're a better person than I am then, Kim . . . I'm not sure I can be that forgiving."
Something in Steve's voice told Kim that he was referring to Shane, not Kayla. "Well . . . I can't say I took the news much better than you did," Kim said, deliberately lightening her tone. "But at least I didn't try to punch anybody. I just . . ." Then she stopped, suddenly fearing she'd said too much. What if Kayla hadn't told Steve the whole story yet?
Steve chuckled and glanced at Kim. "Don't worry. Kayla told me how you walked into Shane's house and got an eyeful. Actually, she's told me pretty much everything about what happened between her and Shane . . . and between you and her. It hasn't been easy hearing it all, but I guess I understand some things better now."
"She loves you, Steve. She always has."
"I know," he said simply. "I know I haven't always deserved it and Kayla's forgiven me more times than I can count. You were right. There was too much at stake to let my pride stand in the way."
"Good." Kim looked over and saw Kayla and Stephanie heading their direction. "Now, I'm going to get out of here and let you spend the afternoon with your family. Maybe I'll see you here tomorrow."
Steve looked over at Kim for a long moment. "Maybe you will," he finally said.
Kim smiled and stood up. "I'll see you at dinner. Andrew's looking forward to more stories from his Uncle Steve. Enjoy your afternoon."
"Thanks, Kim . . . for . . . uh . . . thanks." Steve said.
Kim nodded and turned away, heading back to the house. When she reached Kayla and Stephanie, she paused just long enough to give Stephanie a quick kiss. She noticed Kayla's concerned look and gave her a reassuring smile to let her know that everything was okay. Farther along the path, she stopped and looked back. Kayla, Steve, and Stephanie were cuddled on the bench and she could see Kayla laughing. Yes, everything is just fine. So why am I so unhappy?