Underneath it All, More than Skin Deep, Straight to my Heart
By: ParamoreXO
Warmth crawled in all around me. I could feel it, alive and free, with a spirit like no other. A heart was beating against my shoulder blade, Kevin's broad chest rising and falling against the back of his oversized tee that could barely pass for a dress on me. I clutched the fabric closer to my body, trying to drown myself in the cyclone of scents it had to offer. The smell of his skin was all over the black fabric just like the sticky substance of a DNAlien's toxic vomit was all over my regular clothes. I had thrown them away with no regret once Kevin offered me his tee. The closed lids of my eyes burned as the morning sunshine trickled onto them, still covered with my makeup from yesterday. Yesterday…
Wow.
That's the only single adjective that could describe the events that had happed yesterday. More specifically: last night.
Incredible, amazing, unbelievable, blissful, and tender were only the beginning of the story. Oh, I guarantee there was way more to it. My cheeks were burning at the thought. My parents would probably rate the night as "R" if it were ever made into a movie. God, I hoped not…
FLASHBACK
Sick. Absolutely and downright sick. To look at myself in the mirror…ugh, I didn't care how many times Kevin had told me I was beautiful, this was unacceptable. Sure, I was happy that Ben, Kevin, and I had saved the world from harm once again but the cost to do just that ended up with me being covered in snot green alien barf. It was bad enough my boyfriend had to see me covered in the burning, toxic substance. Having me trudge it all over his house hadn't been so great, either.
"I'm really sorry about the mess, Kev," I told him, trying to walk on tip toe so it wouldn't ooze onto the cream colored carpet as much. Yeah, very helpful…
"Don't mention it, babe," he told me, shooting me a wicked grin that sent my whole body tingling. "I think you look kinda hot when you're angry."
"Oh, Really?" I propped a hand on my jutted out hip, "Then why don't you give The Hotness a kiss?"
"I said you look hot when you're angry. Kissing you and getting that alien vomit all over my face would be different."
Looking down at his slime covered hand, I couldn't help but tease him a little, "So you're willing to hold my hand and get it all over your arm but you won't kiss me and get your face dirty even though it wouldn't matter because you're already halfway covered?"
Laughing, he led me through the hallway to his bedroom. I'd been down this way many times before, the past memories making shiver with pleasure. I knew better, though. He was obviously taking me to the bathroom so I could change out of these disgusting clothes. "Yeah, pretty much."
Finger flicking up on the light switch, the closet sized bathroom was submerged in buttery illumination. It wasn't anything fancy but I liked it. The taste was homey with its cool tiled floor, cluttered sink with hairstyling products, half empty chocolate axe (I'm pretty sure he bought it a few weeks ago when I told him my favorite candy was anything chocolate), shaving supplies, and ivy green theme. "Wait here," he coughed, probably realizing the awkwardness of having the two of us alone together in a bathroom. Ducking out, I heard him pull out the wooden drawers of his dresser, most likely trying to find something for me to wear.
I felt like jumping up and down for joy screaming. Never before had I gotten the privilege to wear anything of his. Well, okay, fine. Sometimes he would give me his jacket whenever I was cold but it always ended up back in his hands by the end of the night. I always thought it was super cute when the girlfriend got to wear their boyfriend's tee shirt or hoodie. It was like a symbol that proved that yes, you were taken, and no, you were not available. Another plus, it smelled exactly like your guy so being apart didn't always hurt so much on the inside.
I didn't dare look in the mirror. My fire red hair was probably plastered to my forehead with the revolting substance. Ugh, it made me want to puke. Thank goodness this stuff didn't smell as bad as it looked….or felt to be crawling all over my skin. Shuddering at the gross sludge that was covering my body, I heard Kevin's footsteps approaching. "Here, this was all I could find. I…ah…hope it fits okay."
Pinching the dark cotton fabric between my fingers, I set it on the closed toilet seat. "Thanks, you don't mind if I shower, do you?"
Instantly, the blood rushed to his cheeks, "Uh," he ran a hand through his thick, midnight black hair, "No, of course not."
"Thanks, sweetie. It's awful thoughtful of you." I knew it was killing him as I batted my lashes, trying to look as flirty as one could while bathed in alien slime. But hey, how could I resist? It was payback for all those times he made me squirm in front of his mom or my parents.
"Um, sure, yeah…" With that, he quickly closed the door. I listened as he hesitated for a bit at the door then slowly walk away. Chuckling to myself, I began the process of disinfecting myself. I couldn't tell what I was more excited about; ridding the gunk off of me or wearing Kevin's shirt. When I caught my reflection in the rapidly steaming mirror, however, I pretty much made my decision.
XOXO
As the bathroom door swung open, steam tumbled out through the wide opening limited by the doorframe and into the dimly lit hallway of Kevin's home. Shadows played along the cream colored walls, matching the plush carpet that squished between my bare, wet toes with each step. Peering into Kevin's room to the left, I spotted his alarm clock on the nightstand. 11:56 pm.
Kevin's tee shirt hung loosely on my shoulders, considering that his were way broader than mine. It was the total opposite of form fitting but probably showed off more of my body than anything in my closet. I think he purposefully picked a shirt that was a little smaller than the rest just so my fifty-percent-off lacey underwear from Victoria's Secret could peep out every once and a while. If I bent over at all, I'd flash him for sure. Hmm…mental note: Kevin can be a little more of a romantic than I thought… a devious one at that.
"Hey," my soft voice sliced through the living room, not wanting to break the serene spell, the only other noise emitting from the low volume TV. Not to mention, it was the only source of light besides a little sliver of moonlight. The silver light trickled through the closed blinds that were draped over the windows.
"Hey, yourself," He patted the spot next to him on the couch, "I think my style suits you pretty well."
Unable to resist, I did a little twirl before him, trying to keep an innocent face as the shirt rode up my body a little too far. Or maybe it was a perfect amount, considering the look on Kevin's handsome face. His eyes were focused on my middle as I faced him again, eyebrows raised with curiosity. That hungry look scared me and excited me all the same, my heart fluttering while torn between the two emotions.
"You think?" I asked, twirling a damp strand of hair, still holding my place in front of him.
He nodded, maybe a little too quickly and enthusiastically, "Definitely."
A surge of giddiness zipped up my spine. Why did he always have to have this affect on me?
I guess you could say my skimpy little "outfit" gave me newfound boldness. Instead of sitting on the spot Kevin had motioned for me to sit in, I sat down on his lap. Without missing a beat Kevin slid his arms around my waist, his shirt bunching up on me even more, pulling me into him. Every time he held me close, it shocked me just how ripped he was. Maybe it was because he always used a careful, sweet touch whenever it came to me.
Hooking my arms around his neck, I stared into his deep, dark, obsidian eyes with the biggest smile on my face. His soft lips formed into a mischievous grin, his hands mesmerizing me with each motion they made over my barely covered thighs. "Your parents wouldn't mind if you're a little late to come home, would they?"
I leaned in a little bit more to him, wanting so badly to breathe in the scent of his neck. It smelt exactly like the chocolate axe in his bathroom that I had to restrain from misting all over my body. Mmm, "What do you have in mind, Kevin? I was just about to go…"
"Oh?" His hungry voice was husky in my ear, making me shiver despite the extreme warmth of his body, "So soon? I don't think that's fair." His fingers pressed lightly just below my collarbone as he eased me to lie down, him crawling on top of my giddy filled body.
"Why not?" I tried, snaking my fingers through his thick, black hair that almost blended in with the night.
The look in his eyes was intense, a deep wild passion swirling in those orbs of dark, endless black pits of emotion. "You owe me for borrowing my shirt." He pinched the black cloth of the neckline, playfully tugging it this way and that, obviously trying to get a peep at my hidden cleavage. Pulling him in closer I grazed my lips over his jaw, planting kisses that were just as delicate as his touch, "Well, I'll have to make it up to you somehow…"
Yanking the neckline down a little farther, Kevin gave me a dazzling smile that truly melted my heart under the heat of his devious gaze. "I can think of a few ways," I was kind of disappointed when he shifted his hands from the top of the black shirt to my hips. As he positioned himself to lie next to me, his other arm draped itself over my side, fingers skimming the surface of my stomach. He was clouding up my mind; the patterns his fingers zipped across my now partially exposed stomach (I don't even know how his shirt had ridden up this much on me), mouthwatering scent burning in my nostrils, and lips that were playfully lingering just above mine was all too much. All clear and logical train of thought was wiped from my mind. All I wanted was him. The feel of his insanely soft lips crushed against my own was what I had been craving all day.
I couldn't take it anymore. It was obvious Kevin was playing with me, amusing himself with his painstakingly slow approach. I wouldn't let him have that satisfaction; I needed him now more than ever. It was as if sparks flew as I leaned into his muscular body and kissed him full on the mouth. The cozy fire blazing on our lips was filled with flames of licking passion. Like any smoldering conflagration it needed more and more fuel to make it roar with life. Each passing second, the intensity grew. My hands had found his perfectly sculpted chest, each carved out muscle making me sigh.
Every nip he made at my bottom lip caused a burst of chills to zing throughout my barely covered body. The shapes and designs he marked on my stomach and sides caused my heart to beat even faster at his light touch. Plunging in, I rested my lips on his neck, whiffing in the dizzying scent that coated his skin. With each caress I made, he returned the favor. Pushing me into a plush, leathery pillow, he playfully bit my earlobe, tugging at it tauntingly. Resting my hands on his chest again, I felt his heart beating onto my palms, fast with a free spirit. It soothed me just to know that he was alive and this close to me.
I have no idea how long we stayed up kissing each other, experimenting with new tactics and enjoying the old ones. It could've been hours until I finally settled in his arms and closed my eyes, his warm breath whispering loving in my ear. On the other hand, it seemed like only mere minutes that we had spent together. There was never enough time in the world.
Right then, however, lying next to his muscular body that was covered in my fingerprints, I felt like forgetting the world
XOXO
It felt as if the grin widely spread across my face would never go away. My eyes rested on Kevin's hunky figure, his chest rising and falling with ease as he slept soundly. It made my toes tingle just to know that he slept so well when I was there. These last few days, he'd told me he had been living off of three hours of sleep. When I asked him why, the answer usually never came because he shrugged it off all the time.
Maybe it was because he had been thinking about a moment like the time we spent together last night?
Although I'd never tell him, that was my reasoning for staying up countless hours, wide eyed all through the night. He was always on my mind.
Razor sharp, something was pressing into my thigh almost to the point of breaking skin. Lifting my head a little to look down at my exposed skin, something as white as snow was poking out of Kevin's jeans pocket. Shifting soundlessly, not wanting to wake Kevin, I fingered the object while pulling my thigh away from its piercing point. A note. It was a note.
Carefully, I pulled the parchment from the slit in his jeans, trying to make as little noise as possible as it slid out and into my hands. I cringed as I unfolded it, the thin material crinkling. What was Kevin doing with a note? A note of all things? He never wrote stuff down, he hated work like that. Well, it could've been a grocery list or something useless like that…
I still wanted to know.
As my eyes soaked in the first two words, I nearly dropped the paper.
Dear Gwen.
This was for me.
Glancing around the piece of paper, my gaze met Kevin's peaceful slumbering face. I couldn't take my chances and having him wake up and find me reading this…then again, it was addressed to me. It was mine to read. Still, if it was in his pocket and he hadn't given it to me yet he was probably considering giving it to me. By the length of the letter, it must've been deep stuff.
Quietly and swiftly, I moved to my feet, the plush carpet greeting my cold feet welcomingly. As I padded my way to Kevin's room, I carefully, sat down on his bed with my full attention on the words scrawled in black ink across the crisp white pages.
Dear Gwen,
I need to get this out. Words won't be able to do all this for me because I might screw up and say the wrong thing. So, I'm writing this to get it all out. I'm not sure if I'm ever going to give this to you, I just felt like I needed to do this. So, in order to save the embarrassment of trying to say all this to your flawless, beautiful face, I'm going to write this in a way that's not directed at you.
If you love someone, you'll do what you want. That's how I see it. If Gwen is all wrong for me, I couldn't disagree more. She's a perfect fit, that puzzle piece I've been waiting years for. Those who tell me that I've got everything messed up and that Gwen and I shouldn't be together, then they obviously don't care how I feel or don't know what it's like when the two of us are together. Whenever I'm with her, I change. I know you're not supposed to change for anyone but I don't change for the redheaded bombshell on purpose. I can go deeper with Gwen than with anyone I've trusted myself with. She cares for me in a way that no one else has ever been able to comprehend. Even I don't fully understand it, what we have. I don't quite know how to say how I feel. Those three words… they're said way too often, almost casually.
They're not enough.
"I love you" can never fully express how I feel when I'm with Gwen. I always want to be with her; to hear her laugh is enough for me to keep living life. For every time that we touch, my heart beats faster with a new purpose. Every kiss just seals the deal, I want to always love her and never stop feeling the way I do towards her.
I used to think I was undeserving of her. How could the one I love possible be happy with me in her life? I was no good, totally useless. She proved me wrong, though. When I'm with her, I feel like a person with feelings that are actually cared for. Before, I didn't have much of a life. I didn't know what it was like to feel this alive.
At first, I ignored it all. I thought it could all go away if I just didn't acknowledge her true remarks. She said she didn't care what I looked like when I was a… a monster. I didn't believe her. I didn't want sympathy. I didn't want to be proven wrong.
But I was. Now I truly believe what she would always tell me. I feel like I need to thank her for that. I'm forever in dept to her priceless advice. She can argue all she wants about that but I will always be a liability to her. She's already given me all that I need, to know someone cares about who I truly am. Who I'm not, I've come to realize because of her. That's probably half the battle right there. The biggest thing she's made me realize is who I want to be.
I want to be there for her forever. I want things to be simpler for me, to not have the danger of accidentally lashing out and hurting her every day because of my temper. I don't want her world to be ruined because of me. I love her. More than anything, I love her with everything I've got. If I had to give away my freakin car for her, I'd do it.
If that isn't love, then I don't know what is anymore.
Honestly, I don't really know what I'm getting at. I just felt like I needed to get this out.
With love,
Kevin
I stared down at those last few words, the meaning of it all seeping into my mind. Oh my gosh… that was probably—
"Did you like it?"
"Kevin!" I squeaked while jumping up to my feet as the note slipped from my shaking hands. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, "I…I didn't know you were—I mean, I wasn't…ah, hi?"
"Hey," He laughed, walking over to me. He took my hand in his warm one and pulled me to sit back down.
"Are you—" I began but was cut off when Kevin's finger rested on my slightly swollen lips.
"I'm not mad, Gwen. Not at all. Actually, I'm glad you read that. I was about to not give it to you and that would have been a total waste of paper and a whole forty-seven minutes of writing."
Giggling against his shushing finger, I squeezed his other hand tightly. "I absolutely loved it, Kev. I really did, it was…beautiful. I didn't know you could be that deep!"
"Hey!" Squirming tingles of joy shot throughout my body as he began tickling me in the stomach.
"Stop…hahahaha! Kevin…hahaha…stop!" Grasping his wiggling hands in mine, I pulled him into me. His sparkling dark eyes seemed to be laughing with me; the happiness radiating from them was stunning. As his lips neared mine my heart practically melted, filling my entire body with sweet, warm, flowing syrup. The instant his impossibly tender lips pressed sweetly against mine, I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole universe. It was like my Lucky Girl powers had kicked in all over again.