Happy New Year! As we kick Chapter 5 off, remember this, as the past heroes are specifically mentioned in the beginning. We're in the Child Timeline, which means everything from SS to OoT, and MM to FSA is canon in this story, as I explained last chapter why. Therefore, some heroes titles are shared. I know TP and FSA call their heroes 'Hero of Light', but we call TP Link 'Hero of Twilight' so no confusion there. The Link from Four Swords is one I'm calling the 'Hero of the Four Sword'. They will be in chronological order, according to our beloved Hyrule Historia. Oh, the Hero of Men is pre-Minish Cap. He's in the backstory of that game.

As for the timing of this chapter, we are skipping around again, but It won't be a huge amount of time. Reference this to the last chapter. First part is a day or two before the Gerudo's decision to allow Joshua to aid Hyrule. The second part, when noted, is two days after Josh and Lana arrive in Faron. Oh, and there's...well Zelda is here, and she's going to be royally embarrassed. Tons of innuendo from an unlikely source. Tried to keep it T. And if you're a fellow Wind Waker fan or a fan of Konami, I apologize in advance. I laughed typing it. I don't want to know what goes around in my head.

Here's the fifth chapter of The War Across the Ages.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Not even a lead?"

"No, Your Highness, not even a lead."

"You're doing your best, Impa, don't beat yourself up."

Impa began to fumed. "This is my fault, Joshua. Two weeks without a lead to her location. I have the right to beat myself up. I'm suppose to protect her!"

"She's not like her ancestors, Impa. Well, at least not most of them. Do we count the Princess of Destiny anymore?"

"...I believe we can. The sages, the Hero of Time, and the Princess of Destiny all retained their memories."

"Well, Zelda is like her. She can defend herself. I know she's ok. We'll find her. Relax. Speaking of relaxing, where's Link?"

"If he's like his predecessors, sleep."

"Lazy group of heroes."

Link wasn't sleep. He was reading. About himself. Or more specifically, The Spirit of the Hero.

"So this...curse is the reason for everything?"

"Apparently, Proxi. Looks like I'm the ninth reincarnation."

"Let's see. The Goddess's Chosen Hero, Hero of Men, Hero of the Minish, Hero of the Four Sword, Hero of Time, oh, he's here twice, Hero of Twilight, he's soooo cute, The Hero of Light, and the one who split evil into those fragments. Yeah Link, your number 9!"

"And there's nine Zeldas."

"You think they all fell in love with each Link?"

"Probably. We are the most handsome men in the land."

"Who knew the heroes were arrogant?"

"Fairies are annoying."

"Really? Just because...HEY! LOOK! There's Prince Joshua!"

"Exactly."

The hero and his fairy were joined by the prince, and Proxi just had to prove Link right.

"Your Highness, what are you doing here? Are you going to help us? Did you know there are nine Links and Zeldas so far? And three Impas? Well, there's an Impaz, so make it four! And..."

The two teens just stared at each other while the fairy rambled on and on...and on...and on. They both formed the same conclusion.

'Fairies are annoying.'

Days later

"General Impa! We got news!"

'Anything is great news now.' "Find Link. He needs to hear this."

When the two generals (Link enjoyed getting his big promotion. Perks of being the Hero. Plus he gets to boss around heiis former superiors. No 7am coffee for them anymore) and other high ranked officers, named Auru, Shad, Ashei, and Rusl, were ready in the castle, the messenger gave his news. "I know this might not be much, but there's rumor of troops fighting monsters in the forest."

Link was happy. "Finally. Those two villains decided to show themselves. They could have Zel-Princess Zelda." 'How did the Hero of Time do this? Stupid formalities.'

"Sorry sir, but there was no mention of her..."

Everyone's heart sank.

"But there was mention of a woman there. And if I heard right, the prince is there too."

Everyone looked to Impa. "Is that everything?"

"Yes ma'am"

"Dismissed. Great work. Link?"

"Yes?"

"Your call."

Link thought for a moment. "If the prince is there, the woman might be Princess Zelda. The troops wouldn't willingly follow him, would they?"

"Not until General Impa returns command to him."

"Auru's right. So unless Her Majesty is with him, they won't follow him. Or shouldn't have done so. I believe we shall move."

"I agree with Ashei. Even if the Princess isn't there, we now got the prince's support."

"Shad?"

"I third that notion."

"Rusl?"

He looked at Link, who returned his gaze to his uncle's friend. "It's all we got. Let's not waste opportunity."

"Link?"

"I'm the Hero. I was going anyway."

"Then I hear there's a temple in Lake Hylia that needs clearing."

"...I'm good. Heroes and Water Temples don't mix well." The group laughed at the Hero's embarrassment.

"We move at sunrise. We got a dangerous journey ahead of us. It's gonna get very hot."

"Not the caves?!"

"Yes, the caves. That's the quickest way into the forest."

Zelda felt free.

And when I say free, I meant it. No Council meetings. No dress up. No audiences. No puffy dress.

So what's she's doing? Our M.I.A. princess was training.

Swinging from vine to vine, throwing daggers at her targets, she was training to be like her ancestor. Just like Sheik.

Scarf hid her lower face and neck, turban on head, and a durable and tight Sheikah jumpsuit, Zelda looked exactly like her ancestor. Except the chest bindings. She wanted to show she was a woman. She wanted Link to know she was.

'Link wouldn't be able to look away from this body. He will see just how sexy this princess can be.'

But she needed this disguise to last, so sadly no advances on the hero. She expected no one to recognize her.

What she didn't expect was for her to master her skills in a snap. Probably even the skills of the Reborn Goddess are passed down, just like the Spirit of the Hero's skills is passed from one Hero to another. But practice doesn't hurt. After all, she doesn't just want to impress her crush. She was to be at his level. No better way to do it than to do what he does, and look good doing it.

"Zelda?"

"Coming, Impaz!" Yep, Zelda was with the Sheikah.

Impaz was a short old lady and a retired Sheikah. Like Impa, white hair graced her tanned skin. But she'll probably develop gray hair dealing with Zelda.

"You know she's going to kill me. My own daughter is going to kill me. Because of you."

"I love you too, Impaz. And thanks for letting me stay."

She scowled. "Hmph. Lucky you are a good warrior. But you're sure about the disguise? That friend of yours will put two and two together."

"Joshua? Yeah."

"What about Impa and Mr. Oh Yes Link?"

"What?"

"Oh Yes Link. You think you're very quiet with that stuff, don't you? Impa would tell you that's unladylike, but what does that tomboy know? My daughter is 30 years old, no grandkids for me yet. You want to know what I told her?"

Zelda blushed. "...I...I...don't wanna hear that."

"Too innocent you are. That prince of yours would enjoy it. Keep it down next time. Some of us want quiet time at night. And believe me, Link isn't in Hyrule waving his sword."

The princess became redder. "Impaz!"

"I meant that to be serious. He's a swordsman. He likes to chop up stuff. But they're in Hyrule, waiting for you to show up. He probably getting a little rusty. Needs something to do. He must very handsome."

"Yes."

"How handsome?"

"12/10"

"Personality?"

"He's sweet, funny, brave. He was just a trainee when we met, but his skill were so, oh my goddesses. He was great."

"I'm suuuure he was."

Redder. "Yes he...NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Stop acting like a girl. We both women here. You kiss him?"

"On his cheek. As a gesture of thanks."

"Lie. Could you stop yourself?"

"...no."

"Alright then. How you meet?"

"I saw him in the training yard. We...kinda stared at each other. Then we met again during the battle."

"Love on the battlefield. How romantic. Give it some time, and you two will be on the battlefield. His sword against your magic. But it will be one heck of a battlefield. Y'all enjoy. Both young, energetic, hormone crazed kids. Gonna have the castle shaking. Then we'll have Prince Link Jr."

Redder. "...You do know-"

"Cut the 'I'm royal, he's a commoner' BS. You want this man. Let me help you."

'Oh no.'

"When I married Impa's father, Goddesses bless his soul, he was a great catch. But, like all men, they are slow. You got to bring them up fast. So what you do, you play his Ocarina of Time and command the wind with his Wind Waker. Up, left, right. Down, right, left, up. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B! You'll get Death Mountain erupting in no time. Those were the days! Now if only Impa could learn. You're lucky, Zelda."

Zelda was red as a strawberry. "Why?"

"Imagine, he's the hero, and girls will kill for just one night with him. He can have every girl in his village singing the Ballad of the Goddess very loud."

Redder. "IMPAZ!"

"Alright. Anyway, great news."

"What?"

"Your eternal boyfriend is heading to the Eldin Caves with Impa. She told me herself through the Gossip Stone. I'll be there if I were you. They're leaving tomorrow."

"Thank you Impaz." The old lady went into a drawer and took something out. She tossed it to Zelda.

"Give this to Mr. Oh Yes Link. Just in case the Master Sword needs a new pedestal." You know exactly what was given.

How red can Zelda get? Blood red. "IMPAZ!"

"Sweet dreams Princess. Oh, and tell the boy I say good luck. See ya in the morning. And , left, right. Down, right, left, up. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B."

"What's A and B?"

"Don't get started on those! Dear Hylia, wooo, that man. Let me tell you-"

Zelda went to her room. She couldn't take it anymore.

"That's what Impa did when I told her the same thing."

Twilight Princess representation to the max! All on accident. Auru, Shad, Rusl, and Ashei are the Resistance members for those who can't remember. Impaz is the Sheikah in the Hidden Village.

They never explained how Zelda survived in the wilderness. And I needed humor. And what better humor than having our princess getting a lesson in...that thing from an old lady. And who's better than Impaz... a lot of people, but let's have more TP representation. Poor Zelda. Link is reading books while you're hearing about an old lady's golden days and getting tips.

So we got this. Impa's dirty mother. And Proxi. I love Proxi. Almost want me to see how her and Navi interact...oh yea.

The Wind Waker songs were Wind's Requiem and Ballad of Gales. And the almighty Konami Code.