Shane had spent 20 minutes walking aimlessly through the corridors of Donovan Manor until his anger abated. Now he was only feeling embarrassed and stupid. Plus he had a very sore jaw. The only good thing was that Steve was not yet at full strength or Shane might be dealing with a broken jaw right now.
He knew he had crossed a line by touching Kayla like that. It had not even been intentional. It had just been a reaction to seeing someone he cared about being hurt. He had not meant anything by it. It was just instinct; after all the time they had spent together, it had just been a natural reaction to comfort her when she was in pain.
Finding himself at the base of the staircase, Shane walked into the sitting room. This had always been his favorite room in the house. He walked slowly toward the mantle that his father had carved, remembering how he and Drew had helped their father cut down the trees for the wood. He remembered telling Kim that story during her first visit, right before they made love in front of the fire.
He had been happy then. Truly happy. Only a few months earlier, he had doubted that would ever happen. After he thought Emma had died, and then his parents had their accident, Shane had been sure that he would live the rest of his life alone, never opening himself up to anyone ever again.
Then he got sent to Salem and found himself falling for Kim. For a time, he was happy again - usually between the agonizing pain of their break-ups - but when that failed, when Kim walked out on him, he did not think he could ever find happiness again. And that's what Kayla helped him do, find some happiness amidst the pain.
Was it really love? Maybe, of a sort. Shane hardly knew for sure. It certainly was nothing like what he had with Kim, but that relationship had died a slow and torturous death from wounds that pretty much were all self-inflicted. What he had with Kayla had filled that void in his life.
It was just bloody hard to let that go. Shane knew he had no claim on her; he knew he would lose out to Steve if he fought for her. And he didn't even want to fight for her. That was not his intent.
Shane just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to be able to escape the reminders of happier times, and, right now, it seemed like bringing Steve back to Kayla had ripped the scab off a half-healed wound. It was like all the pain - all that loss - he had buried during his relationship with Kayla had overflowed some dam deep inside him.
That doesn't change anything, he said to himself. He had still crossed a line upstairs. Steve had every right to attack him. Shane was supposed to be letting Kayla go and making this easier for her, not acting like a blasted schoolboy with a crush just because he did not like what he sees.
At least, he could be man enough to admit that and apologize. He owed that to Kayla and, as difficult as it was to admit, to Steve as well.
He left the sitting room and trudged up the stairs. He walked past his own bedroom on the right, until he reached Steve and Kayla's room on the left. He began to knock, but froze when he heard the noise coming from the other side.
The sounds were unmistakable. And, as if to torment him even more, he heard Kayla. "Oh . . . Steve . . . yes, please . . . oh. . . ."
Shane stepped back, fighting the bile churning in his stomach. He turned and headed back toward the stairs. Obviously, the apology would have to wait.