Chapter 4

Syaoran walked to Sakura's door and knocked. And knocked again a few more times. When there was still no answer, he began banging. She opened the door violently after ten seconds of banging and Syaoran's fist landed squarely on her forehead.

"Ah…"

"OW. What. Do You. WANT."

"Sorry. Really sorry." Syaoran pushed his way in and closed the door behind him.

He marched to the kitchen, opened her fridge, and grabbed an ice pack. Covering it with a hand towel, he went back to her, still standing by the door.

"Kohei called me at work and said he hasn't been able to reach you all day. What's the matter?"

"Ugh." Sakura walked to the living room and buried herself in blankets on the couch.

Syaoran followed and sat himself beside her. "Lovers' quarrel?" He offered lazily.

Sakura turned on the TV and scrolled through the channels. That went on for a while until Syaoran grabbed the remote from her and turned the TV off. He shifted her to face him and pulled down the blanket so he could see her face.

He studied her dismal expression and the way she refused to meet his eyes. She was definitely out of it. He wondered how long she'd been in this state.

"Look, you don't have to tell me what it is, but at least tell your husband-to-be, 'cos he's worried sick. You're spending the rest of your life with this guy, Sakuchin. You can't be hiding anything from him anymore."

"I know that. I'm just…"

"Just what?"

"Just…" She heaved a heavy sigh. "Sad." Sakura's bottom lip then jutted out.

Syaoran sensed the tears coming before they showed up in her eyes. He didn't ask anymore. He put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her to his side.

Burying her face in his shoulder, she let out some anger, some disbelief, some disappointment, and a bit of regret through tears.

Hearing those words from Tomoyo had been so painful. Such a simple sentence and yet she'd answered all the questions Sakura had wanted to ask.

That was why she left and never contacted them again. They loved the same guy all throughout high school. Yet Tomoyo had successfully kept it a secret. And eight years later, she came back. Not to reunite with them, not to rekindle any friendship with the group.

Only for him.

So you're over him? Out of all the questions she could have asked, she asked that.

With those thoughts, Sakura pulled away from him and went back to her corner on the sofa.

"Feeling better?" He grabbed some tissue from the box and passed it to her.

"Thanks."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah." Sakura hiccupped. "The reunion was just really overwhelming. Seeing her was more overwhelming than I thought."

"I figured. I saw you two talking after the dinner. It seemed intense."

"Yeah."

"What was it about?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

"You said I don't have to tell you!"

"But now I'm curious."

"No."

"Tsk." Syaoran saw her phone sitting by the lampstand. He grabbed it and saw the twenty missed calls from Kohei. He bit back a smirk. The guy was so devoted, it was borderline lame. "Here, why don't you call hubby and let him know you're all right?"

"I was only absent from work one day," she murmured, taking the phone anyway. "Hi honey. I'm fine. Syaoran's here. Yeah, maybe I'm getting my period or something. No I'm okay, I'm good. No, please, just stay and do your work. We've got a deadline to catch. I'm coming back to work tomorrow so I'll see you then. Yes, I'm fine, don't worry," she insisted. "I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

Syaoran stood up. "Well, my work here is done. I'm going home."

"Ok." Sakura stood up too and followed him to the door. "Thanks for coming and cheering me up."

"That's not for free. I expect banana bread from you tomorrow morning."

That got a small laugh out of her. "Fine. I'll make some tonight." She opened the door and let him out. She waved. "Bye."

She looked like a little kid with those puffy eyes and red cheeks. He couldn't resist and reached over and rubbed the top of her head, mussing her hair. "Feel better," he said before walking away.

Sakura couldn't help herself. Silently, secretly, she watched his fading form disappear down the street, and a heavy sadness that Tomoyo had brought back began to settle in her heart.

::::::

Tomoyo sat at the coffee shop, sipping her vanilla espresso and reading a book. She hadn't always liked reading, but spending all those years in London taught her to try new things and eventually she took on the persona of the city itself. While 26-year-old Tomoyo didn't look all that different from her 18-year-old counterpart, she was a very different woman.

When the door chime rang, she glanced up. Syaoran walked through and made his way into the place.

"Hey! I'm so happy you could make it."

"No problem, I'm glad you called." He bent down and hugged her briefly. "You seem at home in a coffee shop."

She laughed. "Yeah? Very Western of me."

"Nothing wrong with that. I'm going to order a drink. Want to share dessert?"

"Sure!"

"Any preferences?"

"Anything's good."

Syaoran nodded, then walked to the cashier.

She watched him as he stood there. It still made her wonder why Sakura never found the courage to tell him how she felt.

Senior high was when Sakura began to see him as more than a friend. And before Tomoyo realized it, she was following along too, much to her dismay.

But then again, Syaoran wasn't hard to love. He took care of them. He was a genuinely good guy with a good heart. Plus that handsome face. Girls swooned after him and he was oblivious to most of it all throughout high school. He never had a girlfriend. He studied hard in school and practiced hard in soccer. He was the guy everyone wanted and could never have.

When Syaoran came back, he brought along a warm, almond-covered white chocolate Belgian waffle on a plate.

"Great choice!"

"Thought you might like that. It's European," he grinned. "Here." He passed her a fork.

"Thanks."

"I didn't get to talk to you much at the dinner last week, so I'm glad I get this time with you now. What have you been doing all these years?"

So typical of Syaoran to push aside the spotlight and shine it on someone else. "Hm, well, I worked my butt off for a year to earn money, get some work experience, doing some part-time modelling and waitressing. Then I got into an art institute in England. Four years later, I graduated and got my degree. It was much easier to find a job right out of college than I expected, so I really lucked out on that. One of the companies that I did an internship with during my undergrad hired me as an assistant designer and I've been with them since. It's pretty amazing. They're expanding their fashion line to Tokyo, so I volunteered to help start it up."

"Wow. Wow. You really did it, didn't you? You didn't give up on your dream. And here you are." Syaoran shook his head, still in awe at the level of success and accomplishment that Tomoyo had achieved in a short amount of time. "I'm so happy to hear that, Tomo. I'm really proud of you."

She blushed. "Thanks Syaoran. Fashion's my life. But I mean, I still haven't quite reached my dream yet. I'm still an assistant designer," she grinned. "I want to have my own line someday. Hopefully soon."

"No doubt in my mind that's coming up for you. Cheers to you," he raised his cup of coffee and tapped it against hers.

"Thank you. So that's what happened to me all those years. What about you? How come you're not a pro soccer player right now?" She teased.

"Many, many reasons," Syaoran chuckled. "One being my father is still one of the most influential businessmen in China and he's got a huge company he's waiting to throw on my shoulders."

"Ah yes, the infamous Li Corporation."

"It hasn't disappeared in eight years, unfortunately," he smiled.

"You're a good son, Syaoran. Giving up a dream for your father's sake."

He shook his head. "Not really. All jokes aside, I like working for my dad and our family company. I see his vision and I support it. And it makes me happy to see him and my mom happy, so I have no complaints."

Tomoyo's heart warmed. He didn't change one bit.

"What about Sakura? She…was really quiet throughout dinner. Do you mind if I ask you how she's been doing?"

"Yeah I can tell you," he said, then cut a piece and threw it in his mouth. As he chewed, he managed to say, "What do you want to know? Sakura's Sakura. She hasn't changed. She still eats all my food and cries a lot and works too hard and gets mad really easily, sometimes for no reason."

She laughed at the quick, but concise description. "And her fiancé? What's his name again?"

"Kohei. He's a nice guy."

"How'd they meet?"

"A few years back. That's when he started working for the same company as Sakura. The guy's hilarious. I remember this one night when I was walking Sakura home and we bumped into him randomly. He was so drunk and out of it and he just blurted out, 'Sakura, I love you! Please go out with me!' Then Sakura yelled no right in his face."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It was priceless. He probably chased after her for a good year until she finally said yes. I admire him for going after her like that. I've never done that for anybody before. He really loves her."

Tomoyo held her mug in her hands. "How long have they been engaged?"

"Uh…" Syaoran thought for a moment, trying to recall the dates. "He proposed to her in Decem…no, January. Cos I had to help him set up the proposal scene. He really went all out for it, you know, like, found a hotel that had some fake sakura trees and got that all set up for her."

"You mean just this January?"

"Yeah."

"So they've only been engaged three months. And they're getting married in two months, right?" Tomoyo murmured.

"Yeah. It's going faster than the average engagement for sure, but," he shrugged. "Sakura doesn't seem to have a problem with it."

"How…" She hesitated to ask what she really wanted to know.

He met her gaze.

"How do you feel about it? I mean, you guys have grown up together your whole lives."

"Yeah no kidding." Syaoran leaned back on his seat, his cup in his hand. "I don't know, maybe it hasn't really hit me. It's only been a few months. I'm happy for her I guess." He glanced down at his cup.

"What is it?" She asked, noticing his reluctance.

He smiled ruefully. "It's probably just the big brother in me, but sometimes I wonder if she's just settling. Not to say that Kohei's not deserving of her, but…he's the first guy she's ever dated. I just don't…" He stopped and shook his head. "I don't know, never mind."

"Hmm." Tomoyo's gaze fell. "If I hadn't disappeared, I could've been there for her."

Syaoran studied her and saw the guilt plain on her face. The opportunity had come. "Why did you disappear like that anyway?"

Tomoyo paused, then leaned forward slightly on the table. "For what seemed like selfless reasons at the time, but seems so stupid now." She sighed then. "I'm really sorry for disappearing like that, Syaoran. There's no excuse."

"No need for apologies. I understand the feeling of wanting to be independent."

"It was really heartless of me though. I know I hurt everyone. Especially Sakura. I need to talk to her. Do you think you could help me out?"

Syaoran grinned. "Of course."

::::::

Sakura bit her fingernails. She was staring at the computer, but she wasn't exactly looking at the picture on the monitor. Memories of high school kept going through her mind.

Of all the times she shared with Tomoyo about her feelings, how she'd cried over Syaoran to Tomoyo, how she'd hoped for years that he'd return her feelings and was let down over and over and over again and was supported by Tomoyo the whole time.

And during all that time, Tomoyo had loved him too.

The knock on the door took her out of her trance. She looked up just as the door opened. Kohei walked in, a cup of hot coffee in his hand. "Hey honey. Thought you might need this."

Sakura smiled wearily. "Thank you. What time is it?"

"8. What time are you planning to stay here until?"

"Maybe another hour. I just have to finish up one more report." Sakura stood up and walked around her office, rolling her shoulders a few times.

Kohei pulled her to him. Rubbing her back, he said, "You're stressed out. Relax."

"I feel like my brain's going to explode. The fashion show is in less than a week. Syaoran's been bugging me about meeting Tomoyo, which I really do not want to do. The wedding coordinator keeps calling me every hour. Kamaura-san keeps popping her head in here to make sure I'm doing my work." Sakura pulled away from him, needing some breathing space. "I feel like I just need to take a weekend off."

"Okay. Why don't you do that? I'll even keep my distance," he said with a sympathetic smile. "I'll work on the fashion show and I'll figure it out with Aya-san for the wedding. Just take a 3-day weekend. Rest your brain."

Sakura studied him. "Really? Can I?"

He nodded. "You need it. Take it. I'll explain it to the bosses."

She hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

:::

Across the city, at the park near the seaside, Eriol jogged down a familiar route. From elementary to high school, he was in the track and field team and ran 3-10km a day. Running was an essential part of his life. It was his way of de-stressing and thinking over all the things running around in his head.

And now there was a particular violet-haired woman who'd consumed his mind for a good few weeks now. It was strange how one person could just suddenly shake up your world and you couldn't do anything about it.

He hadn't seen her since the reunion dinner, but they spoke on the phone a few times. She didn't look all that different, but she was different. He could tell. The way she spoke, the way she interacted with everyone. There was an air of confidence that she never had in high school. He was glad to see that.

And he remembered that moment, a small glance that spoke volumes, when Tomoyo thought Sakura and Syaoran were engaged.

A wry smile appeared on his face. The eight of them had unsuccessfully tangled themselves into love triangles without ever knowing it. At one point or another, Hiro liked Naoko, who liked Takashi. Takashi liked everybody, while Rika liked Takashi too. He, meanwhile, liked Tomoyo, who liked Syaoran. And Sakura liked Syaoran too. In time, those high school crushes dissipated and turned into deeper friendships and nothing ever came of it.

But how did he know all this? Everyone, for some reason, trusted him with their secrets. He called himself the secret keeper. He collected it all and kept it in a mental bottle and shoved it deep in the back of his mind. He was good at keeping a secret a secret.

Eriol stopped and glanced down. He was at 8.2km. Just a bit more to go, he decided, and kept running.

Half an hour later, he found his way to the parking lot. In sweats, he went to his car and took out a change of clothes and a bottle of vitamin water. Just as he was changing, his phone rang.

Pressing the phone between his ear and shoulder, he said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Eriol! How are you?"

In surprise, he stopped doing what he was doing and grabbed it with his hand. "Tomoyo?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking about you. Sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Uh…hold on a second." He put the phone on the hood and shoved his head and arms through the sleeves of a white sweatshirt. He took the phone back and went into the car. "What's up?"

"Oh not much. I just wanted to hear your voice for some reason… are you free to talk?"

A smile appeared on his face before he could stop it. "I'm just about to drive home now, but I can pick you up and we can talk if you want."

"Yeah? I'd like that."

He turned on the car GPS. "What's your address?"

::::::

Sakura walked out of the convenience store with a bag full of pastries. It was Friday night. The beginning of her three-day long weekend away from everything and everyone. And boy it felt glorious.

It didn't last long when she saw the tall, chestnut-haired man on the other side of the pedestrian crossing. He waved in acknowledgement. Slightly annoyed at the interruption, she waved back. When the lights changed fifteen seconds later, she crossed the road as he stood waiting for her.

"This city's too small," she remarked. "Where you off to?"

"Ah, to a bar. Eriol and Tomoyo are over there right now." Syaoran looked through the white bag in her hands. "Dinner?"

"Maybe."

"You and Kohei don't have any plans?"

She shook her head. "I need a break from…well, everything, so I'm going away this weekend."

Surprised, he said, "Oh yeah? This close to the wedding? Really?"

"Kohei said he'll take care of it. It's just three days," Sakura said in a defensive tone.

Syaoran studied her once more, trying to figure out where her brain was at. "Where you going?"

Sakura snorted. "If I didn't even tell Kohei, why would I tell you?"

"Are you staying in the country at least?"

"Of course."

"Fine. I better go. They're waiting for me."

She nodded. "Have fun."

He started to walk away, then stopped, realized something and turned around. "So are you meeting up with Tomoyo? You know, sometime?"

Sakura pursed her lips. "Um…I'd really rather not."

He threw her an 'are-you-kidding-me' look.

"Not anytime soon I mean," she amended.

He sighed heavily.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Come on, Sakura, stop being so immature," Syaoran said now, his tone impatient.

Her back straightened. "Are you trying to pick a fight with me right now?"

He ignored that. "I'm really getting tired of your excuses. Tomoyo's trying to fix whatever she did wrong. Can't you be a grown-up and just face her?"

"I'll think about it," she repeated heatedly. "Why don't you just get out of here?"

They drilled holes into each other for two seconds, then five seconds. Then…

"Oh screw it." Syaoran bent down, grabbed Sakura's legs and hauled her over his shoulder like she was a sack of rice.

She gasped, then screeched, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"You said you're not doing anything tonight. You have no plans. No excuses. We're going to that bar and you're gonna sit there and talk to Tomoyo and get everything out once and for all."

Facing his back, she began to punch it while her legs kicked around viciously. "PUT ME DOWN! RIGHT NOW!"

People openly gawked at the scene as Syaoran marched across town with Sakura over his shoulder. They were still bickering and Sakura was still fighting her way out of his firm hold even after five minutes.

With blood pooling at her head, her face was turning redder and redder by the second. "Oh I could KILL YOU. Are you CRAZY?!"

After another five minutes, Syaoran's right shoulder was getting tired, but he just held onto her legs tighter. Sakura, on the other hand, was losing energy to fight back. Her legs stopped kicking but she was still squirming.

"I'm not even dressed properly," she managed to bark at him.

"It doesn't matter."

"Argh just put me down! You've already dragged me down five blocks. I'll walk the rest of it."

When Syaoran finally leaned forward and put her down, he looked at the tomato-faced Sakura. Her hair was a bit of a mess, her clothes not level.

And it wasn't a surprise to him when it came.

She swung her elbow back then suckerpunched his left jaw.

When he recovered from the hit, he touched his lip and saw the blood on his fingers. "Wow," was all he could say.

She let out several breaths of anger, puffing. "I can't believe you."

"Well. We're here, so no turning back now," he said, grimacing. His jaw began to throb.

He turned her around and shoved her forward through the doors.

This was so not how she imagined her Friday night would be. Syaoran was turning a much-needed weekend into a nightmare by the second. Throwing insults at him while loud music burst out of the speakers, he pushed her through the crowd. They walked to a table at the far back of the bar, where the source of half her stress was currently sitting with Eriol.

Eriol and Tomoyo both stared in shock at the sight of Sakura in leggings and an old sweatshirt and Syaoran behind her, digging his fingers into her shoulders.

Sakura pulled away from him violently.

"Uh…" Eriol started.

"Sakura." Tomoyo stood. "You're here."

Eriol walked towards them. "What are you doing here Sa— Did you just get into a fight?" He demanded when he caught sight of Syaoran's purple cheek and cut lip. "What happened?"

"I brought her here," Syaoran muttered. "Grab me some ice would you?"

Confused and eyeing the two, he said, "Sure."

"Sakura. Hi. I'm glad you're here," Tomoyo began. "Please. Sit down."

Sakura was still frowning as she slowly walked to the table and sat across from Tomoyo. "Thanks."

When Syaoran followed Sakura to the table, she threw another evil look at him. He covered her whole face with his hand and shoved her further into the booth so he could sit down beside her. She pulled her face away from his grip.

Tomoyo repeated Eriol's question. "Syaoran, what happened to your face? Your cheek…"

"A crazy psycho did it," he said obnoxiously.

"Do you want one on the other side?"

Eriol came back with a bag of ice chips and some cotton balls. "Here," Eriol passed them over to Syaoran as he sat beside Tomoyo. "Which crazy psycho did that?"

"There's only one crazy psycho in here." Syaoran pressed the ice bag against his face and bit his tongue to prevent from groaning.

Tomoyo and Eriol looked blankly at Sakura, who didn't look one bit remorseful for punching him. She grabbed some fries sitting on the table and shoved them into her mouth.

The bar was loud and people were watching a sports ame on TV. It wasn't exactly the best location for conversation, but Sakura at least thanked her stars she wasn't alone with Tomoyo. Despite the fact that almost two weeks had passed since their last encounter, Sakura still couldn't quite figure out what to say or how to respond to her presence.

Syaoran pressed the cotton ball on his bleeding lip and pulled it back to look at the evidence. "Aw man. I'm gonna have a swollen lip for days and a friggin' purple face. Thanks Sakura. Thanks a lot."

"I didn't want to come here and you took me against my will!" She threw back.

"Hey," he pointed his index finger at her, "I'm doing you a favor," he argued back. When she refused to back down, he gave up. "Whatever. I need a drink." He got up and walked away from the table irately.

Eriol stared after him, then turned back to Sakura. "What'd he do?"

"He threw me over his shoulder!" She furiously munched on the fries.

"Why would he do that?"

"Because I'm going away for the weekend and he wants me to talk to you before I do that."

"Well that's my cue." Eriol disappeared after Syaoran quickly.

Left alone, Tomoyo and Sakura sat with each other in uncomfortable silence. Then, after a really long minute…

"I'm sorry." Tomoyo blurted out first. "It's my fault that he dragged you in here like that," she began, wringing her hands in obvious discomfort. "I just wanted to talk and clear things up. We haven't had a chance to talk properly, and…I haven't said sorry."

At that, Sakura looked up, eyeing her.

She released a breath, then bowed low in apology. "I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Sakura said, "After what you said that night, I have a vague idea why you did, but please. Enlighten me."

Tomoyo sat up. She took a long moment to figure out what to say. Trying to channel in sympathy, Sakura waited without complaint.

"You know, I really thought things would change between you two after graduation," she murmured. "I was rooting for you. Every time I cheered you on, I meant it. It hurt me, but I loved you. You have to believe that, Sakura. It's just…remember senior year? Syaoran and I were voted as class leaders. We spent a lot of time together, just him and I. Things changed. I started liking him. And I couldn't tell anyone ex…" Tomoyo glanced over at the bar, where Eriol and Syaoran sat. No, she wouldn't drag Eriol into this. She looked back at her fingers. "If I told you, I would've hurt you. And I couldn't do it. And… I still planned on going to London. I knew I wasn't coming home for a while." She shrugged helplessly. "But the thought of you guys becoming a couple someday really broke me. I decided that, if and when you did end up together, I didn't want to hear it. I didn't think I could handle it."

"So… you cut everybody off."

Tomoyo nodded guiltily.

After a while, Sakura said quietly, "You didn't have to."

Tomoyo's gaze rose and met her eyes. "It was a young and stupid decision. Selfish of me, immature of me. I know that. I regret it. But I can't go back in time to change it."

"But you told me you came back for him, Tomoyo. Not to reconcile our friendship. For him."

"I said that to get your attention," Tomoyo argued softly. "You weren't listening to me. I had to say something…to get you to stop and look at me."

She didn't know whether that was true or a lie.

"Look…" Tomoyo sighed heavily. "I still love him. I wont deny that. But I really missed you. And I wanted to see all of you again. I imagined it for years…what it would be like to come home and see you all again. I imagined how I'd apologize and fix everything." Then a few tears escaped the corners of Tomoyo's eyes. "I'm really sorry."

Sakura watched her again, then sighed. She got up and went over to Tomoyo's side of the booth. "Come here."

She enveloped her in a hug. And Tomoyo burst into more tears. Sakura rubbed her back sympathetically. When Tomoyo pulled away, wiping her face, Sakura spoke.

"I forgive you."

Tomoyo looked up.

Sakura smiled this time, reaching forward to wipe away a stray tear on Tomoyo's cheek. "That was a pretty good apology. I'm sorry too. For being so immature and avoiding you like I did," Sakura said, sitting beside Tomoyo. "Can I ask you just one thing though?"

"Please."

"So you still love him… why?"

"Good question." Tomoyo stopped, and a small, sad smile appeared on her face. "I thought I was over him. But…after two failed relationships, I stopped and reflected for a long time. He came back to my mind. I realized a year ago that I regretted it; not ever telling him and just giving up so easily."

A lot had happened in eight years. A lot of heartache and frustrations on Sakura's part too. She had made the decision to give up and forget two years ago, and she stopped entertained those thoughts again since. And now, though Tomoyo's confession was stirring something in her, she put a lid on it right away.

"And you want to tell him how you feel, right?"

Tomoyo looked up. "Mm…if…when," she amended, "the right moment comes."

"Then…" Sakura took her hand. "I guess it's my turn to cheer you on."

A/N: Thanks for your reviews! Reading them makes me so happy. As promised, this was quite a long chapter, only to compensate for the last one. What'd you think? =)