We made it through the Eldin Caves. Sheik and Impa got issues. Link and Sheik are hitting it off. They're on their way to the Faron Woods, but we must set the stage. So, before we get to the main nitty gritty, we'll get some side nitty gritty.

But before I leave you alone to read my story, my updates, because of the hell called school, will be coming either every other day or two days later. Weekends might have one to three chapters, but expect three to four a week.

I really can't wait for next chapter, so thanks for reading, following, reviewing, and the favorites.

"Hold the Deku Tree! Hold it at all costs!"

Being a warrior is part of being of Gerudo descent, and also being future king of said tribe. But these weren't his women. These were Zelda's men. But, with Zelda's disappearance, he is in charge. Convincing the Hyruleans to following him was easy.

Fighting Gibdos aren't. These mummies aren't hard to beat. They're hard to get to. Like their cousins, the Redeads, their screams could paralyze you in your place, in the last position you are in. Nothing can stop it, except time, but that may be your last position.

Plus, being in a forest with a rod that summons fire has really irked the prince the last couple of days. Someone had to suffer.

"LANA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

Blue lightning came out of nowhere and struck the Gibdos and the Bulblins accompanying them. "The person who saved you, my king!" He hated her sarcasm.

"Ok, let's calm down. Deep breathes. I'm just kinda angry that I'm inside a tree and can't burn those demons."

"It's been a stressful week, hasn't it?"

"Would give up anything for my hot spring?"

"Definitely!"

"Then wear clothes. Captain, what's going on?"

"We can catch a small rest here, but looks like they're trying the Snake Maneuver."

Lana, not well versed in the military term that probably doesn't exist, was very confused."Snake?"

"More like a boa. The enemy surrounds and tries to 'constrict' you."

"So, they're trying to box us in?"

"More like a cardboard box. Bum, Bum, Ba, Na, Na! Bum, Bum, BUM!"

"Sir, that's a whole different series."

"He was in a smashing brawl with his bros, though."

Now she was very confused. "Wha?"

"Well, go help your big boss over there, us generals gotta get the metal gear rolling.

"Yes sir."

Lana looked like a kid who been told Santa wasn't real. "What was that?"

"Solid Snake stuff."

"Come on, guys, we're also there!"

To say the main Hyrulean force was happy is an understatement. They were about to reunite with Hyrule's royals (screw the Zoras) and would get reinforcements. However, there was only one who was really ready to see the princess.

Not Impa.

Not Proxi.

Not Sheik. Well, that's obvious.

Not Link.

Confused?

I know you are.

"She's coming Wizzro. I want her D. E. A. D."

"Can't wait to meet Her Majesty, hiya ha ha! But who will the Triforce be extracted?"

Cia hasn't thought of that. "Hmm, that would complicate things. No matter. Capture that digusting rat and my husband together. Kill the others."

"Yes, ma'am."

An hour later

The village was in trouble.

Lana did her best, but she was quickly tiring out. Josh was mostly powerless as most of his rod's power dealt fire damage. Don't want that in a forest. Healing a soldier's wounds, she hear the cries of a Bulblin. Then another. Then another. Three deaths so quickly

She saw him. The one she tried so hard to get over. "You..."

She saw Link...and Impa, some other woman, and the main Hyrulean force! They have arrived!

Impa spoke first. "Are you the one leading these warriors?"

'She is scary!' Giving the wound troop to another, she stood, Book of Sorcery in hand. "Yes, I am."

"Where's that ass of a prince?"

The young girl chuckled. "He's pissed at the moment. Can't summon fire in a forest, can you?"

Link spoke, in a funny deep voice. "Only you can prevent wildfires."

Impa didn't let the humor sink in. "You can use magic. Where did you learn your craft?"

"Oh, well I'm a sorceress. You know the one who started this war? Cia? We come from the same magical clan."

"Ah, well that explains it. And what does this 'Cia' want from Hyrule?"

She glanced at Link for a second, then made a proposal. "You really want to know? Well...Help me defend the forest. If you do that, I might tell you." She giggled as she said the last sentence.

Impa, Link, and-well, Sheik used her eyes-had a face that had confusion and 'what the hell' on it. Then,farther in the forest, a loud noise startled the group.

"Hopefully he didn't get TOO pissed off." Lana ran towards the sound.

"Well, there goes our hope. Come on, we have to help."

The warriors made their way out the Kokiri-less village and meet with Lana again.

Impa once again spoke. "Who's leading these monsters?"

"You've met him? The wizard who looks like a Poe?"

"Him again?! I have a feeling he's going to be a real thorn in our sides."

Link and Sheik were still defending the villages when Deku Babas appeared. Tall stalks of death, they resembled the Venus Flytrap, only that Hylians were the flies. They also can spew poison, which is watch they wer doing now.

"Why is that plant spewing poison into the surrounding area?"

"Doesn't matter why. We must stop it. That's a Deku Baba. Unless you can hit it..." Link reached into his pouch, "...with a sharp, ranged attack, we'll die of poisoning."

"Hey, Link, don't you usually have a bow? Did you forget to bring one this time?"

"No...maybe...probably..yes...wait!"

Da Dadada Daaaaaa!

"What are you doing?"

"'Hero Gets an Item' pose. Tradition since 1986."

"Whatever. Kill those things, stupid!"

"I'm a genuis, your the annoying fairy. Rather be forced to listen to constant Katy Perry."

The hero and his fairy argued as he took out the Deku Babas around the village.

Once done, the gates to the Southern and Western Tree Keeps open. While the main force sought to obtain them, Lana's force was beat. "Everyone's getting tired. We should retreat to the Deku Tree for a moment."

"Link, Sheik, take care out there. I'll escort Lana. I have a special someone to talk to. Communicate through the stones."

The hero and ninja obliged, and left to obtain other keeps. Impa, Lana, and the troops of the forests headed towards the Deku Tree.

"Sir, we have reinforcements!"

"Thank Hylia, Impa has arrived."

"You better thank Hylia."

Josh turned to see the Sheikah and the sorceress enter their base inside the Deku Tree. "I see you decided to show up."

"Where's Zelda?" He looked into the Sheikah's eyes, and then stomped the ground.

"You haven't found her? Goddesses! First the damn wizard, then the Gibdos, then my abilities, and now we're playing 'Where in the World is Zelda?'! Can I just get good news?!"

Lana tried to calm him down. "Josh-"

"No, don't you dare! Those screeching monstrosities are coming from our north and south. Where's Link?"

"He's with a woman called Sheik to the south. We'll take the north Gibdos." Lana and Impa left the now confused prince, pondering over the newcomer.

"Sheik? Yep, Impa gonna blow. Hope the girl know what she's doing."

Once the Gibdos were defeated (easy with a bow and long ranged attacks in hand) everyone nearly met up at the Deku Tree.

"Link, is that-"

"THE DEKU TREE IS ON FIRE!"

Lana and Impa saw the fuming Gerudo walking from the Deku Tree. "Why is this story rated T? There are some f******* things that I need to f******* say, because now I'm very motherf******* mad! That wizard is on my f******* nerves!"

"Josh!"

"Calm it down, boy! Be lucky that you're alive."

"Lucky to be alive my ass. Got a plan?"

"Your Highness, is that you?"

They all looked at Impa's Gossip Stone. The angry prince held it to himself. "Link, is that you?"

"Yes. We got a plan. Proxi senses a Great Fairy nearby. Probably in the northeast area."

"Thank you Link. Leave it to me."

He led the charge into the Eastern Tree and even left it behind, going alone to the fountain. It was guarded by a Gibdo and Bulblins.

"Lana is gonna kill me." Unleashing the Magic Rod, he summoned a huge fireball, which had a Triforce symbol on it. "Have a face full of the Triforce, you sonofabiatch!"

Leaving their ashes behind, the prince entered the fountain. "Great Fairy, lend us your help. The Deku Tree needs help!"

The fairy appeared, and Josh didn't even blush.

"Wow, my king, most men wouldn't be able to look me in the eye."

"I see time has done your chest well. Can't say the Hero of Time could enjoy this moment when all he see is the pointed boobs. Plus most men didn't have to see things when they were ten! Now help us!"

"You're no fun. Don't see what that sorceress likes about you. Anyway, fairies, assist the future king!"

The fairies left the fountain and departed all over Hyrule, probably even the world itself. But they eventually returned, bringing a piece of a cloud to form another over the burning tree spirit.

It worked, and the rain extinguished the fires.

"Thank you, o noble one."

"Always a pleasure to serve a handsome guy."

"Hmph."

The fairy departed, and so did Josh. But then he saw a sight he never wished to see.

Link and the women advanced towards Wizzro's base, only having the Northern Tree Keep and the Dark Forces between them. Well, until now.

"RUN!"

"Josh?"

"What is he...Oh my Goddesses! CUCCOS!"

Everyone ran as the Cucco stampede began to fill the Northern Tree. The monsters, being not as intelligent as the humans, did something we learned not to.

Never hit a Cucco.

The chickens eventually left, but it was due to their rampage that the way to the enemy's base was clear. "Men, move it. Let the sacrifice of those chickens not go in vain! Link, Sheik, and Impa, stay here in the Deku Tree. We'll finish this. Lana, let's go!"

The duo and company arrived at the base...it was empty. Except for a giant object.

"Troops, fall back." He looked at the ground, kicking a rock. "Too late. Ugh! Why can't anything go f******* straight to plan!"

"Josh, calm down!" A noise was heard, but Lana ignored it.

"It's a Gohma!"

"What...oh."

Giant spider with one eye, Gohmas were a common boss during the trials of the heroes of the past. These two, however, weren't clothed in green.

"Lana, look beautiful." She knew what that meant.

"Aim OOHHH!"

Blue laser zipped by, and Lana...was on top of Josh. He fired an arrow at the Gohma, now exposing it's eye in a weakened state. It hit the blinded eye, and the Gohma fell on its top.

They were red as cherries, but one was a ticking time bomb.

"When you're ready, get off and attack."

Someone was a mood killer.

Lana, half embarrassed and half pissed, rolled of the prince and they began to attack the Gohma.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Once the Gohma was pixie dust did the prince finally calmed down. "You alright?"

"Yes. You?"

"Well, I'm hungry. Let's celebrate. Heard Kokiris can throw a rad party. Plus we'll need to relax."

That night

Link and Impa sat near a bonfire alone, even Proxi was away. They enjoyed the celebration, but one thing was heavy on their minds.

Impa was first to say it. "I hoped Zelda would be here. Apparently that hope was in vain."

"Where could she be, Impa? Is she safe? May the goddesses protect her..."

"You seemed very concerned for a guy who just met her."

"She...before she was captured...kissed my cheek."

"Oh. Well, she always dreamed of being with a courageous hero. Guess she found him. Only if we can do the same."

"Yea...Impa?"

"Hmm?"

"I...is it right for me to-"

"Love her? Yes. It's a curse that the Blood and Spirit are always together, even as lovers. The Hero of Sky loved the reincarnation of Hylia. Hero of Time to Princess of Destiny. Hero of Light to the Princess of that time. All except one."

"Why?"

"We don't know if the Hero of Twilight and the Princess of Light actually fell in love. After the crisis, he wasn't spoken of again. Only the Royal Family know."

"Oh. Well...Hopefully I get to return the favor."

Impa laughed at her company's sudden boldness. "She would want it on the lips, my boy."

"Then she'll have kissed the best from Ordon. Plus I'll get to rub it in someone's face!"

The two continued to talk about the princess, but someone wasn't suppose to overhear.

On the other side of camp, Josh and Zelda (in Zelda's clothing) were in a magically sealed tent. Soundproof. Locked. Translucent.

"So let me get this straight: she caught you doing that and made you do two hundred sit ups. Impaz is harsh. And you said, 'Oh Yes Link?' L.O.L!"

"Not funny!"

"Definitely funny. But how are you going to keep this up? Proxi knows. I know. Impaz knows, and she yaps. When do you plan on revealing yourself?"

"When the time is right."

He became frustrated and humored at the same time. "Zelda, Zelda, Zelda, what are you thinking? I mean, Impa knows her tribe as I know mine, but you are an amazing woman. Trying to seduce our hero by showing your form? Nice. But stupid. Stay here tonight, alright?"

"Ok. And thanks for understanding."

"Always. Goodnight."

The prince walked towards his tent when he met with the one person he really wanted to see.

"Lana. Hey."

She sniffed, as if she had been crying. She had been crying. Immediately seeing him, she began to cry on his chest. "Why can't it be me?"

He knew this would happen when she met Link. "You know why. You definitely know why. Can't always have what you think you deserve. Come in, it's getting cold."

"But my tent..."

"Prince's orders." He wiped her tears and looked at her in her beautiful violet eyes. "Plus, there's a surprise that you will enjoy."

She gave a weak smile. "Okay."

They entered, and Lana's eyes widen at the sight. "How..."

"Same magic that allows us to carry things in these small pouches."

It was a remake of Josh's suite, even down to the hot spring...wait, hot tub.

Josh led Lana to the bed, and they both sat on it. She rested her head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her waist. He began to speak."Sorry about earlier. I...said some unruly things not fit for a king...even though I'm Gerudo and I shouldn't care."

"It's okay. You were stressed. We battled those things for three days. For the record, I was just as angry."

"But you had a stress reliever."

She looked over to the hot tub. "Are you sending me to my tent now?"

"I packed your stuff. I see you want to stay. For an obvious reason."

The woman instantly changed emotion, and the prince went into his closet. "Do we have fruit?"

"Right beside the bed."

"There's only one."

"Duh."

"But...the last time was different. That's how you know my past."

He came out with the special Gerudo clothing for bathing. "No, you were emotional then, because of your horrible dream that was actually reality. Not too different now. Plus girls are lining up-"

"Now that's a different reason."

"Exactly. But you're lucky that I really enjoy our time together. Now come. The hot spring awaits."

They put on the clothing they would normally wear to the spring (not in front of each other, duh!)and stood next to it. Lana, slightly uncomfortable and slightly bold, asked the question we resolved in Chapter 4. "Can I...you know...it will make me feel better."

The young prince chuckled. "We are not repeating Chapter 4."

"You're no fun."

"The Great Fairy said that."

"It's true."

"I'm plenty of Fun. F is for friends who enjoy hot springs together. U is for you and me. N is for this hot spring that we can relax in down in the dark quiet forest."

"You're full of material, aren't you?"

He pushed her into the hot spring. Just like in Chapter 4.

.

There's Chapter 8. It's up waaaay later than I wanted it, but it is done.

Looks like someone was royally pissed. Also, there wasn't a lot of conversations from the game that I used. I actually gave one of Lana's quotes to Link, because, well, he's too lazy to voice his opinion.

There are many references are in this chapter, most have nothing to do with the Zelda franchise and others do... and there's the CDi Zeldas. Bad games, great memes.

Some Zelink. Some...that other pairing. We won't have Impa and Sheik clash just yrt (can't wait), but we will definitely have, next chapter...Link meets Cia. Oh yes, this will not be good for Sheik/Zelda.

Chapter 9 should be up soon. See you then!