As Steve walked towards his usual spot at the pond, Kayla's words again ran through his head. "I know that until you make some kind of peace with Shane, this is always going to be between us. I think you need to ask yourself if that's what you really want." Steve knew the answer to that question. He did not want anything to come between he and Kayla anymore. He just did not know if he could do what she wanted.

He could tell that Shane still loved Kayla. Steve could see it in the way Shane touched her, the way he looked at her, and the way he had spoken to her last night. Maybe Kayla can't see it, but I do. How was he just supposed to forget about that?

As he remembered the events of the night before, Steve's anger and jealousy turned to something else. He no longer saw Shane trying to comfort Kayla; he saw the blood trickling from Kayla's nose and the bruise on her cheek. You did that. You hurt her. The unbidden voice in his head kept repeating those words. He knew it had been an accident, just like he knew that Kayla knew that as well and that she had forgiven him instantly. But he could not shake the sight from his mind or the fear from his heart.

Again, words from the night before came to his mind, but they were not Kayla's; they were Shane's. "This isn't done, Steve. You need help and you're going to start working with Kim whether you like it or not. Next time, it might not be something as minor as a bloody nose."

Lost in his thoughts, Steve had almost reached the bench by the pond before he realized that Kim was already sitting there. He stopped suddenly and looked down at her. "Waiting for me?" he asked.

"Maybe." Kim said. She patted the seat beside her and said, "Why don't you have a seat and find out?"

As much as Steve did not want to admit it, he was a little glad to see Kim there. He could not deny that she had been a good friend these last few weeks. He was still very skeptical about her self-confessed mission of helping him, but it was nice to talk to somebody who seemed to understand what he was going through with Kayla and Shane. He smiled and took a seat beside her on the bench.

"Okay, I'm sitting. So were you waiting for me or not?" Steve asked, teasing Kim.

"Let's just say I felt like a little walk and thought you might feel the same." Kim said, a knowing tone in her voice.

"Why would you think that?" Steve asked, a little scared of the answer.

"Well . . . I talked to Shane last night and Kayla this morning," Kim said evenly. "I know what happened last night."

"Oh yeah. What did Mr. ISA tell you?" Steve said, angry that Shane had been talking about him with Kim.

"Shane said that you had a nightmare and that you hit Kayla." Again Kim's voice betrayed nothing.

"It was an accident," Steve said angrily. "You said you talked to Kayla. Didn't she tell you that?"

"Yes. Kayla told me it was an accident," Kim said, maintaining her neutral tone.

"And you don't believe her, right? You think I hit my wife." Steve's voice rose with each word.

Kim put her hand on Steve's arm and, in a kind voice, said, "No, I don't think you hit Kayla intentionally. I believe it was an accident and that you would never intentionally hurt Kayla." Steve immediately noticed the emphasis on the word "intentionally."

"But you think I'm crazy, right? Nobody knows what the crazy man might do," Steve scoffed, standing up. "What's next? Are you gonna tell me to stay away from Kayla? Are you and Mr. ISA going to team up and keep me from my daughter?" Steve's anger kept rising. "It's never going to happen, Kim. Do you understand that? It's never going to happen."

Kim's eyes never wavered from Steve's. After a moment, she calmly said, "I don't think you're crazy, Steve. And I would never do anything to keep you away from Kayla or Stephanie unless I truly believed you were a danger to them. I sincerely hope that never, ever happens. But whether it does or not is entirely up to you."

Something in Kim's tone and the understanding in her eyes caused Steve's anger to deflate. He suddenly felt tired and again took his seat next to Kim. Staring out at the water, he softly asked, "So you really don't think I'm crazy?"

Kim again touched his arm and said, "No. I don't think you are crazy. I think you have survived a traumatic event and you are dealing with a lot of difficult emotions and memories. I also think that those emotions and memories are causing you to say and do things you wouldn't normally say and do."

Steve looked up. "You mean like what happened last night with my nightmare."

"Yes, that's part of it. Nightmares and flashbacks are very consistent with PTSD," Kim said calmly.

Steve looked up. "PT what?"

"PTSD. It's short for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's relatively common in people who've survived traumatic events. I think your . . . time away certainly qualifies." Kim's voice was clinical and professional.

Steve was silent. PTSD. Okay, maybe that's what it was. If it was something with a name, then it was something that could be fixed. "So . . . if you know what it is, then you can fix it, right? I just have to take some medication or something?"

Kim thought for a moment, then said, "It's not that easy, Steve. I wish it were. There are no quick fixes or prescriptions for PTSD."

"So what does that mean? I'll have these nightmares forever? I'll feel this way forever?"

"No. It doesn't mean that. But it does mean that your recovery is entirely dependent on you. It means you have to have the courage to open up to me, or to another therapist if you prefer, and talk about what happened to you. Once you do that, there are some coping mechanisms that I can help you with." Kim paused, looking deep into Steve's eye. "But until you start talking, nobody can help you."

Steve was silent. How could she expect him to talk about everything that had happened? So much of that time was almost a blur, some strange combination of a nightmare and reality. What was true and what wasn't? Maybe he did not want to know. Maybe as long as he did not talk about it and did not think about it, he would never have to know the full truth. He could believe that the bad things were never real at all.

Steve looked up at Kim. He could see the compassion and understanding in her eyes. "I . . . uh . . . I . . ." He stopped, then simply said, "What if I can't do that?"

"I know that this is hard for you, Steve. You are just like Bo and Roman and Sh . . ." Kim stopped herself as Steve's eye narrowed. ". . . like so many tough guys, I know. You think that you should be in control of everything and, if you aren't, then you're weak." Kim leaned closer and put an arm around Steve's shoulder. "But the people who love you know that you're anything but weak. Needing help doesn't make you weak, Steve. It takes courage to dig deep inside and let the bad things out. You are one of the strongest, bravest people that I know. You wouldn't have survived everything you've been through if you weren't. So I know that you can do this."

As she finished speaking, Kim stood up. "I know you have a lot to think about. I'll be here tomorrow and every other day for as long as it takes. But that first step is up to you." Kim turned and walked up the path away from the pond.

Steve stayed on the bench for a long time, thinking about what Kim had said. He knew he wanted the nightmares to end. He knew he never wanted to see the pain in Kayla's eyes again and never wanted to do anything that might hurt her again. He wanted, more than anything, to be the husband and father that Kayla and Stephanie deserved. He just didn't know if he could take that first step. He was scared to death of where it might lead, and what he might remember. As he finally stood up to head back to the house, Steve realized there was only one thing that scared him more . . . the thought that if he didn't take that step, it might cost him everything he loved in this world.