PART 2, Chapter 13

Eriol knocked on Tomoyo's door. He hadn't felt this nervous in a long time.

The door opened. Tomoyo smiled, reflecting the same nervousness he was feeling inside. "Hm…want to see my place?" She moved the door aside so he could come in.

Then he laughed, not able to bear the awkwardness. "Why I feel 16 again, I don't know. But sure, yeah I'll come in." He then stopped and smiled. "You look great."

Her cheeks red, she laughed and tucked a strand behind her ear. "Thank you." She was wearing a light blue cotton dress and a yellow cardigan. Her long hair was in curls, framing her face. Her makeup was very light; just enough to brighten her eyes and her cheekbones pop out. "I just need to get my bag ready then we can go."

"No worries. Your place is nice," he commented, glancing around.

It was a small apartment suite with just enough space for one person. There were a few frames on the wall, of sketches of various designs. For someone working in the fashion industry, Tomoyo lived a little more simply than he had expected. That was something they had in common.

"Thanks! It's not big, but I like it. I have an extra room where I can sketch and design and that's all that really matters to me," she admitted, then stopped and admired him. "You look nice too."

He grinned. He wasn't wearing anything special; jeans and boots, a white collared shirt and a thin blue sweater over top. She'd probably gotten used to seeing him either in suits or in sports attire that this was new.

"I clean up nicely?"

"You do."

Ten minutes later, when they stepped out the door, Eriol had to take in a breath. Throughout high school, he'd often thought of what their first date would be like. The 16-year-old part of him still couldn't believe this was actually happening.

:::

On the other side of the city, Sakura stood in front of Syaoran's doorstep. She had been standing there for almost half an hour already. She'd knocked a few times when she arrived, but no one seemed to be home. She spent ten minutes looking out at the streets, but she hadn't spotted his car.

So either he was home… asleep… or just… out.

Either way, she remained standing on his doorstep, frozen, trapped in the same awful thoughts. Meilin had made a good point. How else was she going to get closure unless she said something? Not that saying anything to him would make the feelings go away.

But after going through all that with Kohei, she was fairly convinced that she'd love just Syaoran for the rest of her life. No matter how times she'd get hurt from loving him.

Sakura knocked again. Waited for a minute. No one answered. BAAH…

Should I go home?

"Wow. You're alive."

Snapped back to reality, she turned. Syaoran, in the flesh, stood behind her, throwing her a look of disbelief and disdain.

"Syao…"

"Wow, you remember who I am!" He came closer, then stopped just in front of her. Without any hesitation, he reached forward and pinched and stretched her cheeks as much as he could.

"Ow!"

"That's what you get for ignoring me. After I stayed up with you and stuck with you when no one else did! Ungrateful kid."

"Ow…"

When he was satisfied, he let go of her cheeks, then unlocked his door. He opened it and moved aside so she could go in first.

She sat on his sofa and waited until he came back from the kitchen, carrying a glass of water. Sitting awkwardly as though she'd never been in his apartment before, Sakura remained rigid. Too many thoughts in her head to feel comfortable around him.

"Sorry," she began weakly. "That doesn't excuse me for…avoiding you for over three weeks now. But…I'm here today to tell you why."

"Before you do that, how have you been?"

She met his eyes and felt even more guilty for having avoided him all this time when all he did in return was worry and lose sleep over her.

"I'm doing better…" she answered truthfully. "I'm getting used to the idea of being single again. Sometimes I think of Kohei and wish I could call him and ask him how he's doing. Other times…most times… I'm just relieved that he's physically so far away so I never have to see him around and feel guilty again."

"Did you fix everything with all the people involved in your wedding?"

Only Syaoran would have worried about the smallest details like that. She stood up without another word and came over to him. Before he could blink, she hugged him tightly.

Shocked, he stood up and returned the hug.

In his arms, she said, muffled, "Sorry, Sho. I've been the world's most horrible friend."

She couldn't see, but he shook his head and at the same time, tightened his arms around her. He missed her. A whole lot more than he was willing to admit.

"Don't worry Sakuchin. If there's anyone who knows you better than you know yourself, it's me. I understand."

She then let out a small groan. "Oh I can't do this."

"Huh?"

Thinking that she was on the verge of a crying bout, he pulled her off him and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. "All right stop. You can't keep crying, Sakura! You've been crying for weeks-"

She looked up and slapped her hands over his mouth. "I'm not crying."

He blinked. "I thought you were," he said, his words muffled by her hands.

"Shut up for a sec." She took a very deep breath. "It's taken me a long time to find the courage to tell you what I'm about to tell you so you're gonna have to just…shut up and listen."

He nodded.

"Syaoran…I…uh…"

Ahh the words wouldn't come out.

She pulled his hands off her shoulders and took them in her hands. Her heart was pounding like crazy. She couldn't even hear her own thoughts.

"Okay." She released another deep breath. "Okay."

Syaoran waited some more, though he didn't understand why he was feeling just as anxious as she was.

"Okay. There's only one reason really, why I couldn't marry Kohei. And it's simple. But complicated."

"What?"

"If you talk one more time, I'm never telling you," she snapped, letting go of him. Then she walked away and began to pace around.

He didn't say anything in return.

This happened for another few seconds. Then…

"I'm in love with someone else."

Syaoran's head shot up. Then his mind went blank.

Wait, what? Someone else?

She turned around and met his shocked gaze. "Ok, ok, before you go crazy, just listen. I…I've been in love with him almost all my life. For the last two years, I'd convinced myself that I'd gotten over him. But the truth is…I feel the same way as I did eleven years ago."

Syaoran frowned. Eleven years ago? Who did she know eleven years ago?

Eriol?!

She said it. She actually said it. She felt like throwing up.

But that wasn't everything. The hardest part came. Somehow having the courage that she lacked for years, she continued, still keeping her eyes on him.

"It was Sports Day. He stole the ball from the other player, ran off with it, and then I cheered as loudly as I could, and for some reason, above everyone else's cheers, he heard me. He kicked the ball. It went into the goal and he won the soccer game for our class."

Her heart began to ache now, a painful, sweet ache, as it continued to beat loudly.

"When we were celebrating the win on the soccer field, he kissed me for the first time. Right here," she patted her left cheek with an index finger. "I didn't realize it then but…that was the moment I fell for him."

When he didn't say anything, she turned around so she couldn't see his face. This was probably the moment she was going to regret for the rest of her life. Though it felt like a big boulder had just been lifted off her shoulders, her heart felt like it was being torn in half.

The silence lasted a minute. Her nerves a mess, she couldn't bear the silence and turned around. Syaoran kept staring at her, still frozen.

Then she said, "Sho, I don't expect you to feel the same way. I don't even expect you to fall in love with me. You asked me why. I owed you an explanation." She sat down, wringing her hands together in anxiety. "But I owed myself an explanation too. These last three weeks, I was finally able to admit all of this out loud, to myself. So I thought…it was time to tell you too."

There was another long stretch of silence, where neither moved nor said a word. Sakura's heart began to break, believing that she'd just lost her best friend.

But just before new tears could come in her eyes, he moved first. She looked up in surprise. He had knelt down in front of her.

Quietly, he said, "Thanks for telling me."

And the tears fell like a waterfall when their eyes met.

He wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "You must really love me to cancel your wedding like that."

She sobbed and laughed. "That's not funny. But I'm just glad you're not walking out on me. You don't hate me, do you?"

Then it was his turn to laugh. "You honestly thought I'd hate you? I don't think I could, even if I tried."

Then she slid into his arms easily. He kissed her very warm forehead.

"I'm really glad you told me," he said again.

She pulled back and studied him. "I really thought it would ruin everything between us. That's why it took me so long to say it. But Sho, don't…treat me differently, ok? Even if I feel this way, I'm still your best friend, still the same person you grew up with. Anytime you feel awkward around me, just tell me."

He nodded.

"And I don't want you to feel burdened…or…or obligated to feel anything for me. I wouldn't-" She grabbed his face with both hands. "Why do you keep staring at me like that?"

He rested back on his heels. Still on his knees, he held her forearms, looked at her, his eyes serious, and said, "Sakura. Don't freak out on me, but… why don't we try dating?"

:::

"So you liked me in high school?" Tomoyo asked in delighted surprise.

They were sitting at a café, sharing a strawberry chocolate cake. After dinner at a seafood restaurant, they'd gone walking down the pier and then caught sight of a small café. Too excited, she ran into it and pulled Eriol along.

"You were my biggest crush in high school," he said. "But I was too chicken to say anything."

"I never knew, Hiira."

He laughed. "I knew how much you liked Syaoran, so I didn't say anything."

"You were the only one who knew Sakura and I both liked him at the same time," she mused. "I can't believe you managed to keep that a secret for so long. And you never told Syaoran."

"No way. That's like asking for a bomb to explode on me."

She laughed. "I suppose so. Drama."

He met her gaze now. "I'm glad you came back, Tomo."

Feeling her cheeks warm, she murmured, "I always meant to. Not just for Syaoran," she added with a sheepish smile.

"I know."

"I thought I was still in love with him, but when I came back and saw him again, I realized that I was in love with my memory of Syaoran, not who he's become."

He nodded. "Yeah I guessed it was something like that. You never talked about him when we hung out. Well, when you did, you always mentioned Sakura."

"When I found out she got engaged, actually…my first reaction was like, excitement. Because I thought she was engaged to Syaoran. That somehow, keeping my feelings a secret during high school had been worth it. Then I found out it was Kohei and it was hard to swallow." Tomoyo remembered that night and the cruel way she'd lied to Sakura about coming back for Syaoran. "I think a part of me knew she still loved him all this time."

"Sakura's really good at hiding how she really feels. She's done it her whole life. I really didn't see it coming," he replied, referring to the wedding being called off. He took a sip of his coffee. "I thought, if anything, Syaoran would be the one to break off that wedding."

Surprised, Tomoyo said, "Really? But he's so clueless."

"He really is. But he was so annoyed with the idea of her getting married. All I heard out of him since she got engaged was, 'it's so weird,' 'I feel weird about this,' 'isn't it weird?'"

Tomoyo laughed.

Eriol chuckled derisively. "It was driving me crazy." He forked the last small piece of cake. "Can I have it?"

"Dozo!"

When they got out of the café, it was almost 11pm. But neither felt any inclination to leave the other. Slowly walking to the car, they enjoyed the feeling of being under a starry sky.

Eriol grabbed her hand then, and she turned around. "Thanks for taking me to dinner," she said with a smile that made him pull her closer.

"Thanks for saying yes."

"I hope you ask me again."

"Yeah?" He touched her cheek lightly with his finger.

When he bent his head down, her heart beat in anticipation.

It was their first kiss.

:::

Sakura's hand fell limp. "Wh…" She tried to formulate a word, but her mind was blank. Still stunned. "You…" What did he just say? She probably just imagined it. He couldn't have said…what she just…heard, right? "You…wh…"

Syaoran opened his mouth to say something, which pushed a panic button in her. She got to her feet and walked away from him quickly to the balcony.

He stopped, midway from standing up, and studied her from where he was. Okay. So he did freak her out.

He stood and began to walk slowly to her. Just as he was about to step into the balcony, she put a hand up as if to stop him where he was. He blinked.

"Wait. Just wait."

"…Okay."

She took a very deep breath, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and turned to him. "No."

He paused. "What?"

"No," she repeated firmly, then she walked past him back into the living room and went to the kitchen to get a drink.

He followed her to the kitchen and watched as she poured herself a glass of water. She stood against the sink, the glass resting on her lips, her eyes warily meeting his. Syaoran stopped a few meters away and studied her, almost with a narrowed gaze.

The first to break the silence, he asked, "Why not?"

She put the glass down on the sink. "Because you're asking me out of pity."

"I'm not," he said calmly.

"Then why?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He wasn't entirely sure why he did. But it wasn't out of pity.

"See?" Then she walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room.

"Why don't we just try?" He asked again, following from behind. "If it gets too weird or too forced, we'll stop."

"No."

Syaoran grabbed her arms and turned her. "Sakura," he began and stepped closer, keeping only a foot of space between them.

"Syaoran, no," she said firmly, pulling away from him. "And I'm making this a rule. You can't ask me out. Ever. Unless you're doing it because you're in love with me."

"Wha…" Exasperated, he threw his hands in the air, "How am I supposed to get there if you won't even say yes to one date?"

"Two people don't have to date for them to fall in love. I fell in love with you without ever having dated you," she retorted.

She made a point. A point that shot a boost of giddiness through his system. He had to fight the urge to smile.

"Fine."

She looked up at him doubtfully. "Fine?"

He conceded, put his hands up in surrender. "Fine. I won't ever ask you out again. Until I fall in love with you."

She frowned, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I'm not kidding around."

"Neither am I."

The most vulnerable part of her then thought, how are you so sure you will? She knew him. If he wasn't interested in a girl on the first meeting, he never became interested.

Wearied out, Sakura nodded and said, "Fine. Now that I've said…everything I needed to say… I'm going home."

"I'll walk you."

She rested her palm on his chest and stopped him. "No thanks. I don't want you to-"

He interrupted her. "I always walked you home. If you don't want me acting weird, you have to do the same. You want me to pretend like nothing's changed between us? Then you better pretend like you didn't say anything. You said that the bottomline is we're friends. We've been friends all our lives. Then every time I do something for you or with you, don't read into it. It's because we're friends that I do it. Got it?"

Then he walked past her to the door and put on his shoes.

Sakura stared after him, speechless.

A/N: Kyaaaah! She finally said it! I know you guys waited a while for the confession moment, so thanks for the patience. What did you think? Let me know!