Kayla and Kim sat on the patio watching Steve play with the kids on the lawn. It had been three days since Shane had left on his mission, and Steve had made a point of spending a little extra time with Andrew, knowing he was missing his father.
"Steve really is great with the kids," Kim said as the peals of childish giggles mixed with Steve's deeper laugh.
"I know," Kayla said. She watched her husband get tackled by Andrew, while Jeannie and Stephanie waited for their turn to crawl on their big playmate. "Steve was always so worried that he wouldn't be a good father, but even from the start I could see that he would be a wonderful father. Remember how good he was with Max?"
"I do," Kim replied. "That's one little boy who will be very happy when we get back to Salem."
"Speaking of that, when do you think we'll be going home?" Kayla asked. Kim had told Steve and her about the cover story. Kayla also knew that final arrangements were being made for the return to Salem.
"Soon," Kim said. "I talked to Tarrington today and everything is almost set."
Kayla sighed softly, feeling a little disappointed. It wasn't that she did not want to go home and see her family, and she knew that Steve was eager to see his family and friends again. But going home meant facing her suspension. It also meant she would no longer have Steve to herself. Work, family . . . reality were about to become a big part of their lives again. Kayla just was not sure she was ready for all of that. And she couldn't help but wonder if Steve was ready as well.
"You don't seem happy about that news," Kim said, eyeing her sister.
"It's not that I'm not happy. I guess I'll just miss the peace and quiet we have here."
"Peace and quiet?" Kim scoffed. "I'd say that our time here has been anything but peaceful - and not all that quiet either."
Kayla giggled. "Okay, so maybe that was an overstatement. I know things have been a little crazy, particularly with Steve and Shane. But even with all of that, I think it's the most time that Steve and I have had together without work or some family crisis interfering since our honeymoon to the Far East." Kayla hesitated, then continued, "And I guess I'm a little scared about what might happen when we all go home."
"Scared of what, Kay?" Kim asked, the concern evident in her voice.
"I don't really know," Kayla said honestly. "I just feel like we're safe here and once we go home, anything can happen."
"Are you worried about Lawrence?"
"No . . . yes . . . I don't know. I know he's in jail, but he's not going to stay there forever. What if he goes after Steve again? I don't think I could survive losing him a second time."
Kayla looked up as Kim reached out and took her hand. "Remember, Kay, last time, nobody knew who Lawrence Alamain was . . . or even that he was involved with Steve's death. He's not going to have that element of surprise anymore. Steve, Roman, Bo . . . Shane, they all know who he is and what he is capable of. They aren't going to let him get a second chance to hurt you or Steve again."
Kayla nodded, "I know. But it doesn't make the fear go away. And it's not all about Lawrence anyway."
"What else are you afraid of?"
Kayla did not answer at first. Instead she watched Steve swinging Stephanie over his head, while Andrew held Jeannie up on her wobbling legs. Steve caught her eye and gave her a smile. Kayla wanted nothing more than to capture that moment and that smile and keep it with her forever. She could not help but feel that it would be a long time before they would feel so carefree again.
"Look at Jeannie, Kim. . . . She's almost ready to walk."
"I know," Kim replied. "It's hard to believe she's almost a year old. Almost as hard as it is to believe that Andrew will be starting grade school this year."
"Oh, wow. The first day of school," Kayla said with a smile. "Do you remember the fuss that Ma and Pop made every year on the first day of school?"
Kim giggled. "Yeah, I do. They would make us all line up for pictures, and Mama would always make Roman and me try to keep you and Bo clean and presentable until we got to school."
"Hey! I wasn't the problem; Bo was," Kayla protested. "He was the one who always dared me to climb some tree or ride through a puddle with my bike. I couldn't reject a dare."
"Uh huh," Kim said, raising an eyebrow. "From where I was standing, you two were both impossible."
Kayla laughed. "I suppose so. But from where I was standing, you and Roman were far too strict."
"Oh no," Kim said. "That was all Roman. He was the one that always the stickler for the rules."
"Well, some things never changed do they?" Kayla said rhetorically, a smile on her face. She looked at her older sister and they both began laughing. Roman had been Mr. Responsibility for their entire lives.
As their laughter eased, Kayla again had that feeling of wanting to capture the moment. Perhaps Kim sensed that because she turned to Kayla and said, "You never answered my question. What else has you afraid of going home?"
Kayla hesitated, trying to collect her thoughts. "I'm not really sure, Kim. I've got Steve back and I feel like we should be able to go home and pick up our lives again. But so much has changed . . . I've changed. He's changed." Kayla paused again, then finally gave voice to her fears. "What if too much has changed? What if we go home and everything is different?"
"Oh, Kay," Kim said with a small smile. "You and Steve were meant to be together. You've worked through so much here and you've always found a way to get through whatever was thrown your way. No matter what else might have changed, that clearly hasn't."
"I hope you're right . . . I know you're right," Kayla said, willing herself to believe it. "But I just can't shake this feeling that going home is going to be a lot harder than Steve thinks it will be. Not just for us, but for him."
"There is definitely going to be an adjustment," Kim said, her voice assuming a professional tone. "But I'll be there to continue to help him and I'll have more resources back in Salem."
Kayla fought back the bitterness that rose up at Kim's words. She was grateful for Kim's help, but she hated the reminder that it was Kim, not Kayla, who was helping Steve through his emotional problems. Her bitterness was undeserved and more than a little irrational, but it was there anyway. But it was her problem to deal with, not Kim's and not Steve's.
"I know you'll be there, Kim," Kayla finally said, forcing a smile. "And I'm sure with your help, Steve will be just fine."
Before Kim could respond, Kayla stood up and said, "Maybe we better go rescue my husband." Kayla could see Steve sitting on the lawn with three tired children in his lap.
"That's looks like a good idea," Kim said, rising as well. "I see a quick lunch and some long naps coming up."
"That will take care of Steve, but what about the kids?" Kayla asked, laughing. Kim joined her laughter as they walked out the lawn. Kayla smiled at Steve and felt her pulse quicken when he gave her that smile she loved in return. Maybe his naptime can wait a little longer.