BEHOLD! Guys I love the That Anime Show podcast, and I fell behind for a bit and just found out that it ended. My favorite podcast has come to an end and Michael Tatum is my muse, without his voice to guide me through these awful times… well let's just say I'm not sure how I'll get along. I hope I get to meet him one day. I think if I did meet him I'd probably cry, he's like that one movie you watch when you're sad to cheer up or that one anime that always comes to mind. Anyway he's just really cool and I'm just happier when I hear his voice and I'm sounding like a stalker… I'll stop now… I've just had a really bad day…

"Hey did it hurt," Gilbert asked while we waited in the living room for dinner.

"When I fell from heaven," I responded killing his pick up line.

"No! When you… fell… from… that tree."

"It's plastic."

"Well did it hurt or not?"

"… Yeah I guess a little."

"Well that explains the jacked up face."

"At least I don't masturbate to calculus."

"THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US!?"

I laughed at him as he panicked. Then things settled down again. We continued watching some TV, occasionally hearing Ludwig scold his pretty friend who is a girl but his not his girlfriend. Once again, I am so glad to not be in that social pool. Gilbert checked his phone absentmindedly and scratched his stomach. I admired the quick peak at his rockin bod. It was then I had the passing thought, 'I wish I had a six pack.' Before I tell you about how I started laughing uncontrollably at myself, let me tell you now that I am simply less than toned, but I'm not fat. Just saying.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just though of something weird."

"Tell me about it?"

"I'd rather not. Do you have a bathroom?"

"No we have pots and we dump them into the street every morning."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we're all about tradition."

"That seems a little much but alright, where do I go?"

"That door over there," he pointed out.

"Thanks," I said getting up to walk over.

"Matthew?"

"Yeah?"

"I was kidding about the pots."

"… I knew that," I didn't know that.

"Just checking," he laughed not believing me.

I opened the door to go to the bathroom. True to his words he had a very normal bathroom. The word awesome was written in lipstick on the mirror… why does Gilbert own lipstick? You know what, his tranny secret life of Prussia Montana is none of my business. And then I saw something unsettling… there was a painting, a very kick ass painting, of President Roosevelt hanging over the toilet… what the fuck? I couldn't pee with him watching, so I just opened the door again and watched Gilbert's eyes drift from the TV to me.

"Gil… Gilbert? What is that?"

"A toilet?"

"Above it…"

"Above it? Oh yeah, President Roosevelt. What about it?"

"Why is it in the bathroom?"

"I don't know? It just is?"

"But it's a really nice painting, it looks authentic."

And that made him smile that evil smile of his, "That's because it is."

"… it is? But that's impossible.?"

"No it's not? I'm glad you brought it up though, it's actually an awesome story."

He then proceeded to tell me in great detail about how he swiped that painting from the white house.

"I went with a tour group to the White House and since I thought I might run into someone important I put on my dad's nicest suit and went. Well I ditched the tour group because I realized they were unawesome and I wouldn't see anyone cool if I stayed with them. I walked in and out of random rooms when this lady comes to me with a head set and asked if I was with some official sounding group that was meeting there and I told her I was and then I said that it was urgent that we get a painting of Roosevelt."

"And?"

"She got it, gave it to me, and I walked out of there and drove home."

"… Like Boy With Apple?"

"Exactly like Boy With Apple."

Yay! Lol updates. Boy With Apple is probably the dopest and most valuable painting I've ever come into contact with. I'm serious, after that any other piece of art is worthless junk. I feel better now that I wrote a little bit I guess. I like ghost stories and sci fi so if you guys could recommend some books for me that would be so dank.