Friendship-ISN'T magic? ch. 5
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
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AN: this chapter was collaborated by Wolvenstrom
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The silence lasted for an eternity...Celestia...PRINCESS Celestia of Equestria...just got hit by an 8-year old in a lamb costume...it be funny if it weren't so serious. Finally, Celestia snapped out of the shock touched her cheek and looked at Dipper baffled.
"Why did you- "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" Shouted an irate Dipper, "Do you realize that Twilight and everyone else nearly DIED! They could've been seriously hurt! The trickster master BS is entertaining in books, BUT FRACK YOU IF YOU DO IT ON MY FRIENDS! You-
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Twilight flustered, "Uhhhh...since most of the words Dipper is about to say...didn't exist in Equestria until he said them- also mixed company is here -I'm going to replace them with...'puppy'."
Dipper rolled his eyes but kept his peace...
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BUT FRACK YOU IF YOU DO IT ON MY FRIENDS! You (puppy) on a (puppy) doing (puppy) with your (puppy) mother (puppy) sideways you (puppy) Shove a (puppy) up your (puppy) While your (puppy) mamma (puppy) (puppy) (puppy) in a bucket (puppy) and die you (puppy) (puppy) (puppy)-
Dipper's words were suddenly muffled as the mane-six quickly grabbed him and dragged him away. Twilight got down on all fours in frantic submission. "Princess Celestia, please forgive our friend! He is a stranger to our land and knows not what he dose!"
"LIKE FRACK I DON'T!" shouted Dipper suddenly, "Dipper hush!" Squeaked one of the ponies desperately.
Twilight chuckled nervously as a bewildered Celestia watched this whole scene unfold, "He's been hurt a lot tonight...he's babbling and possibly feverish! One too many hits to the head! Just a little cuckoo is all!"
"HEY! I AM NOT CUCKOO-
"DIPPER WILL YOU PLEASE JUST LET ME HANDLE THIS!? I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE HERE! NOW PLEASE APOLOGIZE TO THE PRINCESS!" Shouted Twilight desperately.
"FORGET THAT!"
"DIPPER! SHE'S PRINCESS CELESTIA!"
"I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S QUEEN OF CREATION! THAT DOSE NOT MAKE IT OKAY TO HURT MY FRIENDS!"
Twilight chuckled nervously as she turned back to her mentor, "Uh, what he means to say..." "Twilight, it's okay." Said Celestia suddenly, "It's obvious that what Dipper did, he did out of concern for you and your friends...something I can respect."
Twilight looked at her startled, "Wha- but he hit you and said all those...words!" She said that last part with a blush(she didn't know why, but those strange, unknown words just made her very awkward and uncomfortable).
Celestia rubbed the hoofprint on her face slightly annoyed, "Yes...I can't help but feel that the slap and the- I have no idea what most those words meant, but I doubt they were complimentary -were a bit uncalled for."
"Agree to disagree." Snarked an unrepentant Dipper, despite the best efforts of his friends to keep his mouth closed.
Celestia, clearly still unused to people talking back to her in such a harsh way looked baffled once more, but quickly composed herself. "Regardless, I will let it go as his heart is in the right place and you've all clearly been through a lot tonight...Besides I must respect someone's opinion even if they don't agree with mine."
"But-but you Princess Celestia! Your the wisest and most powerful being in Equestria!" Said Twilight shocked at what her mentor was saying.
Celestia just smiled and shook her head, "Twilight, I'm not perfect. I never pretended to be perfect. It was other ponies who raised me up onto a pedestal regardless of what I told them. Do you really think if I had all the answers that I would have had to resort to what I did to deal with Nightmare Moon? I can, have, and will make mistakes. My prowess comes from experience, not divine knowledge...and I will admit to leading more than a few ponies down the winding path. I surmise that I've spent so long playing the long game, making plans that span years that I've forgotten how such actions affect people in the now."
She turned to Dipper, "Your right, I did manipulate Twilight. I did the best I could with a bad situation...but you are right that it was a risk...and I feel bad for it. And I'm sorry. And I promise to do better in the future. But the danger is passed and you've all made such wonderful bonds of friendship...so can't we start over?" Asked Celestia expectantly.
Dipper...just looked at her for a moment...then crossed his arms. "Yeah, that's not happening."
Celesta smiled, "Great, now let's- and then the proverbial 'record' of the universe did an abrupt scratch as she and everyone else processed what he actually said.
"Wait, what?" Asked all the ponies at once. Twilight looked at Dipper baffled, "Y-your not forgiving Celestia?" She asked in disbelief. Dipper gives her a weird look. "No, I'm not forgiving her! First of all, she can make all the promises and fancy speeches of doing better that she wants...but until I actually see her DOING that...I'm not going to believe a word of the person who nearly hurt my friends!"
"How can you NOT believe her!? She's Princess Celestia!" Shouted Rarity aghast. Dipper sighed, "Look...Celestia is clearly someone you respect and admire...and if I'd been born and raised in Equestria- who knows? -I probably would think the same way...but I wasn't. I've literally just meet her...and as first impressions go...manipulating and almost getting my friends killed doesn't exactly warm me up to her."
Twilight...was uncomfortable...she and the other ponies could -reluctantly- see the logic in Dipper's words...buuuut...for a person to not forgive someone at the end of an epic adventure?...that was unprecedented!
Twilight tried to think; "Um...okay...so if Celestia PROVES she's being honest...you'll forgive her?" Grasped Twilight desperately.
Dipper went into deep thought...then shook his head, "Nah."
"What, why!?"
"I mean it'll help...but honestly it's very hard for me to forgive someone who messes with people I care about...at least that's how I feel about it right this second anyway. My opinion might change later...but that's later..."
"Come on Dipper! What SPECIFICALLY would Celestia have to do to have you forgive her? You have to say something conclusive!" Pleaded Pinkie Pie.
"Guys...I can't...this is a very open-ended problem."
Twilight looked at him confused, 'Open...ended...problem'? What's that?"
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"Whoa, whoa! Hold the phone!" Shouted Stan once more interrupting the story. "Why were you getting so worked up over him NOT forgiving someone? Is that really such a big deal?"
Twilight scratched her head uncomfortably, "Weeeellll...it's just that ordinarily...it only takes 20-30 minutes for somepony to forgive another pony-
"Sometime's it's double length but that's rare." Interjected Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie pie nods, "Yep! all arguments and grudges are settled within the half hour- especially family issues! -in a nice little bow! Nothing but happy endings and loving family for everyone!"
"Get out! And don't come back until you've made back the money you lost us!" The memory burnt into Stan's head...he glared at the pink pony in front of him. "I hate you so much right now."
Pinkie pie and the other ponies were taken back both by this unexpected proclamation AND the malicious ice in his voice. "Why?" Asked a hurt Pinkie pie.
Twilight coughed nervously, it was probably best to wrap things up, she didn't know why but it looked like Dipper's uncle wasn't the only human angered by that last bit.
"Anyway, after much pleading and begging from us-
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Dipper sighed, "Fine, I forgive you." Everyone felt great relief over that, as the natural flow of the universe was restore-
"But I got my eye on you, don't even THINK of trying to pull this frack again!" And like that it was gone again.
Twilight looked at him unnerved, "Uh, Dipper? That's not really- "That's the best your going to get from me Twilight, deal with it." Said Dipper sharply.
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Twilight sighed..."after which...Celestia offered to find a way to get him home...but Dipper told us he didn't want to go home...he didn't want to leave the only friends he had...we hugged him happily...and...and then..." Twilight began to tear up, dipper hugged her for support.
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ZAP!
The group hug was interrupted as a bunch of green tendrils in the form of green grasping hands began to form and grasps Dipper...and drag him into a vortex...the same type of vortex that brought Dipper here...
"GUYS HELP! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK! I-
BOOM!
And like that...he was gone...
DIPPER!
Screamed all the ponies as they're friend vanished into thin air. "Princess Celestia...what happened?" Asked Rarity desperately. Princess Celestia was at a loss, but she quickly composed herself...and used her magic to scan the area...her eye widened in despair.
"He...he's been sent back to earth." The ponies gasped, they ran to her and pleaded for her do something...tears were especially prominent on Twilight's face
Celestia felt her heartbreak...one of the main points of this whole thing was for Twilight to discover the joy of friendship...and for her to find it...only for THIS to happen...it was too horrible for words...
"I'm sorry girls...but such magic is beyond even me." Without another word...she hugged them as they cried over their friend who seemed lost forever...
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Pinkie sighed, "I was so depressed...I wasn't even in the mood to make a celebratory party for our victory over Nightmare Moon..." But then she beamed, "But now we can party! Who's up for the biggest reunion blowout they ever saw!?"
Everyone; pony and human cheered for that...regardless of who you were...who doesn't love a party?
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Meanwhile, Celestia and Luna were heading toward the epicenter of the mystic disturbance. They'd sensed it was by Ponyville- which is why they sent a letter to Twilight about their arrival- but other then that they knew nothing and were wondering what on Equestria was going on...
Hopefully Twilight could help them make sense of it...
Oh, how wrong they were...
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TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.
But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?
Love me, flame me, review me