Friendship-ISN'T magic? ch. 11
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
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AN: This chapter was collaborated by wolvenstrom
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The screen boots up...and the music starts up...and animated ponies start to appear...
I don't mind a little
Cold weather, snow, or ice
But when it becomes too intense
It isn't very nice
At first the snow is beautiful:
It's fluffy white and rich
But when I have somewhere to go
It's such a fucking bitch
All I wanna do is trot
On over to the store
But now there's all this snow and ice
That wasn't there before
I cannot walk ten feet without
Falling on my ass
I must be honest and I'm sorry
If this is kind of crass
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
The snow is too fucking thick
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
No one enjoys being sick
Winter can suck my dick
I don't understand why I
Must make the weather suck
Something to do with harmony?
Honestly I don't give a fuck
Flying is way better than
Walking on the ground
But when I fly I am
Repeatedly snow-bound
Pegasus crashes into snowdrift-
(AH, FUCK!)
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
Thirty-eight degrees below zero
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
The sidewalk's always narrow
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
Outside keep your mouth closed
Cause winter fucking blows
Now I have to wear, like, seven layers
Of clothing
These coats are collapsing my lungs
And yet I'm still singing
I can barely see anything
With all the wind and snow
I'm almost killed by falling icicles
Mother nature is a
Homicidal ho (Bum bum bum)
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
I don't know why others like it
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
Holidays are a benefit
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
But once they're over it
Becomes a load of shit
And sure fillies and colts might get
At least one snow day
But then thy have to make up
All their homework anyway
And snowball fights are kind of fun
Unless you are a nerd
This song should apply to you even
If you haven't joined the heard
Oh yeah!
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
The rooftops are caving in
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
Weather like this should be a sin
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
Can't wait for spring to begin
Frostbite fucked up my skin!
The other seasons have problems:
Summer's hot as balls
But at least I can walk around
And not constantly fall
Speaking of which, autumn is fine
Despite the leaves dying
And spring has rain but makes up for it
With rainbows, flowers
And other gay stuuuff!
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
Can traffic please move faster?
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
Californians are lucky bastards
Winter's fucked up
Winter's fucked up
How long will this bitch last?
I hope this shit melts fast
Fuck winter in the aaaaass!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
For a long time...none of the main six said anything...they just stared at the computer screen where that very vulgar parody of their most cherished traditional 'winter wrap up' song just played on Barbtube(or to quote Soss; 'Boy, that's a stretch for a horse pun.') Indeed, there'd been a swarm of such things placed online after the Equestria internet was set up.
Finally... "What the BUCK did we just watch?" Shouted Twilight in disbelief. "I think they call it computer animation." Said Pinkie helpfully.
"Not that! Where do those humans get off desecrating one of our favorite songs?!" Shouts Applejack horrified. Rarity nodded, "That was absolutely vulgar! Why must humans be so profane?"
Rainbow Dash shrugged, "I like it." Everyone just stared at her in disbelief. But before anyone can shout a counter- "You gotta admit dudettes, the song has some points...I love winter...but she can be a cruel mistress at times. "Said Soos solemnly.
Twilight gives him a deadpan look, "Were all well aware of all the downsides of winter, thank you. That's why in Canterlot we used magic to wrap it up as quickly as possible."
Applejack grumbled something under her breath- Which Twilight heard, "Let it go Applejack...Dipper made some good points. The mayor agreed with him. YOU- reluctantly -agreed with him...they're getting rid of the 'no magic' rule come next winter wrap up- among other things, you just need to make your peace with that."
Applejack didn't trust herself to say anything she wouldn't regret...so she said nothing...
Rarity just clicks through some things on the computer, "I can't believe this...a proverbial infinite library of knowledge...and half of it is devoted to either mindless violence or mindless sex!...or writing about sex between all of us!"
Rainbow Dash shuddered, "Yeah, uh no offense. I love you girls and everything...but not like THAT."
Applejack frowned, "It's insulting!...I mean...just because we like to hang around each other a lot more so then guys...and our friendship is super close...what, that makes us lovers all of a sudden?!"
"Uh...I found some more humans making love on my property...I just don't get why though..." Admitted Fluttershy meekly. Applejack rolled her eyes, "I've chased teens off mah property 12 times this week alone! Honestly, why on earth are they so gosh darn obsessed with sex!? I just don't get it!"
Again, like most ponies in Equestria...the mane six would- in a timeline where Dipper never showed up -would probably never have shown the slightest bit of interest in sex. Indeed, most ponies- Happy and content with focusing on life and friendship -didn't learn about sex unless they took an optional sex-ed class during the last year of college...or (more likely) their wedding day from their elders...actually sometimes not even then! Sometimes they literally never learned about it at all until they wanted kids!(indeed, this was the majority of cases) ...they just weren't interested...
Needless to say...Equestria was getting a rude awakening...
Twilight frowns, "Hmmmm...it's probably time I REALLY kick my human/pony relationship studies up a notch."... So naturally they all went to find Dipper...
...
Dipper sighed as he brought a hamburger to his mouth- "Hey Dipper!" Dipper groans, "Yes Twilight?" He tries to ask politely to his friend as she and the others sit all around him.
Twilight smirked, "Well we were just wondering if you could explain-
"Right, let me stop you right there Twilight." Interrupted Dipper suddenly. "I'm all for helping you guys...but I just spent 6 hours trying to settle a dispute between the taxi pony union and Northwest industries car factory inc. Not only dose it look like it'll drag on for weeks! But I also had to skip breakfast! I'm tired, I'm hungry, I LITERALLY just sat down to eat...I don't think it's asking too much that I eat first before helping you!"
Twilight's eyes widened at this sudden exclamation, "Oh...okay. That's fair, go ahead and eat Dipper." Said a sightly disoriented Twilight.
Dipper thanks her and takes a bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swallows...
He takes another bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swallows...
He takes another bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swallows...
He takes another bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swallows...
He takes another bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swallows...
He takes another bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swallows...
He takes another bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swallows...
e takes another bite...he eats it...chews it...savors the rich taste...then swall-
"GAH! HOW LONG DOSE IT TAKE YOU TO EAT A DUMB BURGER!?" Shouted an impatient Rainbow Dash.
Dipper angrily throws the burger away, "FINE! I'LL JUST STARVE! IS THAT ENOUGH EXCITEMENT FOR YOU?!" He snaps angrily.
Rainbow whimpered under the sheer intensity of his angry stare, Dipper quickly counted to three and took a deep breath; "I'm sorry Dash...that was mean...It's just been a rough Morning-
"No, it's my fault. I should'a just let you eat..." She quickly orders a couple more burgers for him.
Dipper sighed, "Well, long as were waiting, hit me. But we seriously need to do something about this arrangement...I can't just be the ONLY person who has to explain human things to ponies...it's exhausting!" He says flatly.
Twilight looks concerned, "Gee Dipper, I'm sorry...How about I assist you in your new role? That way there's less pressure on you AND I can learn more for my new report!"
"New report?" asks Dipper confused, and Twilight explains her latest project. Dipper chuckles..."Same old Twilight...well, I guess it can't hurt. Shoot."
Twilight nods, "Right let's keep things simple...I'm curious how your civilization built such technological marvels while ponies...haven't." Indeed, the few pony frolics in tech were only useful if powered by high-level unicorn magic(like DJ pon3 and her sound system).
Her fellow ponies gave her a weird look, "That's simple?" In any case, Dipper didn't mind.
"Well I think it all comes down...to how ponies or humans get from point a to b." Explained Dipper. "Point a to b?" Asked Twilight confused. Dipper nodded as he drew it out on a piece of paper. "In this case 'A' being 'a crappy life' and 'B' being 'a utopia'. Humans we, spend our lives STRIVING to get from A to B. Because for the most part were at A. "
Twilight nods, "Makes sense...but where do ponies come into it?" Dipper writes more on the paper, "Well frankly...you may not be at B, but thanks to magic your way closer it then we are...which means...you don't really NEED to innovate."
"What do you mean?" Asked Twilight. Dipper wrote a checklist. "Right let's check off all the main reasons man strives to innovate to better themselves: to eat, to solve conflicts, to discover their purpose in life."
The ponies just watch as he goes through said checklist; "Right; first: Food. On earth, hundreds of thousands suffered from starvation every year-
"What!?" Shouted his pony friends. Dipper sighed, "Yeah, we had problems. Anyway, but you don't have that. Starvation is practically none-existent, between everyone sharing, being friendly to each other, and the earth ponies magic-
"Wait just a dog-gone minute!" Interrupted Applejack. "We don't got no fancy magic! Just gumption and grit!"
Dipper sighed, "Putting aside the fact you have the strength of ten grown men...Applejack, you can HEAR the plants. They tell you how to take care of them, when to water, when to fertilize, what soil is good, when to plant." Dipper had learned of this when he asked applejack how her small family was able to run such a large and healthy orchard...
Applejack shrugged, "That ain't nothing special, our connection to the earth is great. That's all." Dipper shook his head, "Applejack, entire CORPORATIONS pay billions of dollars just to get HALF the info in a year that you seem to get just by strolling through your orchard in ONE DAY."
Applejack looked at him stunned, "Really?...gosh...never seemed like that big of a deal before." Dipper nodded, "One man's trash is another's treasure."
"What?" Asked Twilight. "I'll explain that later, moving on- solve conflicts...you guys don't really have any-
"Wait, what about Nightmare Moon?" Asked Rarity. "Okay, she was an exception...but let me ask you this...in the thousand years in between her banishment and her return...did any actual conflict happen...or ANY noteworthy events of importance at all?"
Twilight opened her mouth..then closed it...she never realized it before...but Dipper was right. Dipper nods, "you have control of the weather; so no wild storms killing people. You have the wild animals- rare places like the Everfree being the obvious exception -practically domesticated, so no attacks there." He gestures to Fluttershy letting a bear nuzzle her and eat out of her hoof. "Your cutiemarks let people know what their good at, so unemployment and homelessness are practically none-existent... Dipper frowns, "Although that might not be true much longer if all those taxi ponies get laid off..." He shakes that unhappy thought and resumes. "This also means there's not as big of a schism between the classes as there was back home, no organized crime. This coupled with the harmony and friendship magic abundant in your land-
"Wait, friendship and harmony magic?" Asked Twilight. "Yeah, the land is swimming with it...it doesn't brainwash or hypnotize you or anything like that...more like good feelings that make you feel good about yourself and others...haven't found the source yet...it's probably why everypony is so friendly and less likely to fight...unlike humans."
He looks over to two ponies eating cupcakes...until there's only one left. "Oh, no! Only one left!" Says one pony concerned, "Don't worry. I'm more then happy to share it with you my friend." Says the other pony as she cuts the cupcake in half. "YAAY!" Shouts the first pony as she claps her hooves together enthusiastically- "HEY! HANDS OFF MY CUPCAKE!" Both ponies look over in horror as two human 'friends' begin to punch each other over a cupcake...both ponies hurriedly leave the scene in discomfort... "Why won't they share?" Whispered the first pony in tearful horror.
"Uh...should we do something?" Asked Rainbow Dash. Dipper waved a hand dismissively, 'Just let it burn out on it's own, those morons aren't worth you getting hurt." He then continues. "Finally, purpose in life...again, cutie marks render that problem moot for ponies...unlike humans...the majority of us go our whole lives without knowing our true purpose."
Pinkie sniffed, "That's so sad..."
Dipper nodded, "Yeah, it can be...bottom line though: Most of our innovation comes through struggle to better and improve our lives...but you guys...your life is so okay that...you don't need to improve or progress. Why would you? Magic has literally gotten ride of most of your logistical/societal issues. no war, no strife, no disaster, a good leader who knows what she's doing-
"YES!" Shouted Twilight triumphantly, "I knew you'd warm up and forgive Celestia eventually!" "What? No, I haven't." Twilight's face fell, "But you just said-
"I acknowledged she was a good leader who had an impressive thousand year streak of peace before Nightmare moon...that's not the same thing as liking/forgiving her."
"It's not?" Asked Fluttershy confused...and she wasn't the only one. Dipper sighed as he saw how baffled his statements were making them. "Another thing were you ponies differ from humans that might be the cause for you lack of innovation..your kinda- I apologize in advance how mean this sounds - inflexible with your mindset."
"What do you mean?" Asked Twilight.
Dipper shrugged, "If something isn't one thing it MUST be the opposite. You ponies seem to deal in absolutism, black and white morality."
"What other morality is there?" Demanded Applejack. Dipper thought quickly, "Okay, Example...would you say stealing is wrong?"
"Of course." Stated Applejack confidently.
"Under any circumstances?"
"Yes."
"Not even for Applebloom?"
"What? Why would that-
"Applebloom is starving and she needs food, you have no money, would you steal to keep her alive?"
This completely threw applejack through a loop! "Uhhhh..." She thinks deeply...she was coming up blank!"
"GAH! THIS IS TOO CONFUSING!" Shouts Rainbow Dash annoyed...the rest of the mane six looked baffled as well. Dipper nodded, "You see? If you only think things can only go ONE way...it really limits your imagination on what you can/can't do. We humans are regular iconoclast's...but you ponies...your kinda more or less stuck on one track...you seem especially obsessed with tradition-
"HEY!" Shouts Applejack angrily, "Wait just an apple-picking minute! You might have had...SOME good points- "It was actually quite a lot." Says Twilight in a obligatory quiet fashion, which Applejack ignores -about that ONE tradition, that doesn't mean you can traipse over all of them!"
Dipper sighed, "Applejack, I'm not trying to attack traditions, some tradition can be very interesting, even downright fun! But only as long as they make sense and don't cause problems for anyone. Remember last week when I showed you how you were making your chores much longer and difficult then necessary?"
Applejack grumbled out a 'yes'...also 'thanks again for doing that'. Dipper then explains how humans were constantly challenging how the world worked...Fifteen hundred years ago they challenged the belief that earth was the center of the universe, then Five hundred years ago they challenged the belief that the earth is flat-
"Wait, why would they challenge it's flat? Equestria is flat, why not earth?" Asked Twilight confused. Dipper looked like he was about to retort...then he looked to be in deep thought..."Huh...actually considering how your sun and moon work...that might actually be the truth...in the meantime though read some of the Earth astronomy books I gave you." Said Dipper thoughtfully.
Twilight didn't know what to think of this as Dipper writes down a few more 'grey' scenarios(among other things) and gives them to her to study/mull over...she was interested in what he was saying...she really was...on the other hand there was a part of her that was GLAD Dipper took a break to eat his burgers...
...
"Did we lose her?" Asked a panting Scootalo as he picked weird giant slugs off her mane. Applebloom peeked through the bush they were hiding in to look for Mable. "I think so." Sweetiebelle rocked back and forth in fear, "Guys...WERE IN THE EVERFREE FOREST!"
The CMC looked around, Applebloom frowned. "Wait, no were not...I think this is the Gravity falls side of the forest." Said Applebloom as her earth pony senses resonated with the nearby flora.
"Oh, so were safe!" Shouted Sweetiebell happily. Which of course was the que of the Huddle to appear. The blob of inhuman muttering, melted flesh and multitudes of arms and legs it rolls down a rocky incline, flops down on a nearby hill...and just...sits there...bathing in the sun...it quirks itself slightly toward the CMC...as if somehow looking in their direction...but the CMC had already run away...
...
"Yeah...so I think I remember Dipper telling my sister about how the Gravity Falls forest...might actually be more dangerous then Everfree forest." Admitted Applebloom between pants. "Okay, next time; START WITH THAT FACT FIRST!" Shouts an irritated Sweetiebelle.
"What was that thing?" Asked Scootalo as they all began to crawl out from under the thing they'd been hiding under, "Don't know, don't care. Let's just get home and...what is THAT?!" Shouted Sweetiebelle suddenly.
The other CMC looked were she looked..and also gaped...the 'thing' they'd hide under...was...well they didn't know what it was! "Is...it a creature?" Asked Scoottalo baffled, "Applebloom jumped on top of it and tapped it. "No...it's made of metal."
"Applebloom, get down from there! Forget I said anything, it doesn't matter what it is. Let's just get out of here!" Exclaimed Sweetiebelle worried. Applebloom gives the strange 'thing' one last look, then shrugs and is about to jump off-
RUMBLE!
Before a small tremor rocks the forest, causing Applebloom to fall- "APPLEBLOOM!" Shouts her friends concerned, on her way down a panicky Applebloom flailed about mid-air-
CRACK!
Breaking a weird component of the thing-
ZAP!
Apparently causing it to activate and hit a nearby tree with a green ray...said tree started to wilt...while the 'thing' started to move.
Applebloom groaned, it was a rough landing but she'd had worse...and then she saw it...one by one..similar components on the 'thing' began to appear all over it...slowly sucking the nearby forest of it's life..and revitalizing itself...even fixing itself!
Without the moss and rocks covering most of it...and a lot of it's damage corrected...it's full appearance could now be seen by ALL. It was vaguely akin to that of a large, black scorpion. The lower chassis consists of four arachnid legs attached to a central hub. Atop the hub sits the upper chassis whose shape gives the distinct appearance of a head and snout. A single visual sensor is on the tip of the "snout." At the back of the upper chassis are a grenade launcher and a spike launcher. Attached to the back of the upper chassis is a long, prehensile appendage.
Corruptor unit FAS-ACA3 back online and nearing 100% operational efficiency!
Shouted the 'thing' in a loud, booming and creepily inhuman voice! "Uh...hello?" Asked Applebloom in a mixture of curiosity and terror...the 'thing' turned to the source of the sound...a small red wave came out of it's central 'eye' and scanned the three cowering fillies-
Inhuman lifeforms detected...must terminate!
...
"Plan more parties!" Answered Pinkie Pie happily. "Continue working on my families farm!" Stated Applejack proudly. "Um...nurture animals...if that's okay with you?" Asked Fluttershy shyly. "Well...I guess continue being Celestia's student and learning about friendship?" Stated Twilight with a surprising(both to Dipper AND herself) touch of uncertainty. "Leader of the Wonderbolts!" Shouts Dash confidently. "Why, opening boutiques across Equestria of course darling!" Exclaims Rarity happily.
Dipper smiles at the last two, "Good for you! I wish you two the best of luck!" He then turns to the rest, "But in all seriousness...I've talked to just about everypony in town...and aside from Dr. Hooves, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash...everypony's answer to the question 'where do I see myself 5 years from now' all basically boils down to 'still in Ponyville doing the same thing I've always done."
"Now what in tarnation is wrong with that?" Demanded Applejack. Dipper slapped his forehead. "Nothing inherently, I wish you wouldn't keep getting so defensive about all this Applejack. Remember, you all came to ME for honest opinions on why humans have innovated more then ponies. What, would you rather I lie just to make you happy?"
Applejack sighed, "no." She conceded reluctantly.
Quickly, Twilight jumped in before the conversation could derail again. "Uh, Dipper. Did you have a point with that question?" "Wha, right sorry. So my point is-
They were interrupted by the familiar sound of the CMC screaming and running. The main 6 and Dipper groaned collectively, "That's it! I'm chaining Mable to the floor until she calms down!" Shouted Dipper annoyed.
"What did I do?" Asked Mable while she was in line for snacks...in the opposite direction of the screams. Without a word, Dipper and the mane six jumped into action and ran toward the source of the screams.
"HELP! SOMEONE! MONSTER!" Screamed the frightened Fillies as they ran from the forest...followed by the-
"CORRUPTER!?" How'd that get here!?" Demanded Dipper horrified. "You know what that is?" Asked a horrified Twilight. Dipper groaned, but quickly composed himself as he quickly recalled all he knew about this topic "Corrupters are- WERE machines built by humans as all-terrain reconnaissance units of their respective "swarm," capable of rapidly scuttling over any terrain, jumping over obstacles, consume biomass as fuel, had the unique ability to instantly enslave enemy machines, turning them against their masters. They can even perform repairs on themselves and other robots."
"Robot?" Asked Twilight confused.
"Consume biomass?" Asked Rarity.
"Jumping over obstacles?!" Shouted Pinkie excited.
Suddenly, the Corrupter scanned all of Ponyville-
Inhuman lifeforms detected...must terminate!
"WHAT!?" Shouted all the ponies as it began to scuttle to the city, Dipper meanwhile...observed the corrupter... "The angles are all wrong...and it's much bigger...where have I- YES!"
"Guys! I have an idea! If I'm right, this is an older model! Buy me enough time and I SHOULD be able to stop it!" He quickly runs off.
The mane six nod and attack the corrupter, applejack tries to buck it, but it just jumps into the air and nearly crushes her, she dodges, but turns out this is what the Corrupter wanted!
SPROING!
"GAH!" Cried Applejack in pain as several robotic darts hit her...and make her woozy. Rarity tries to hold it in a bubble of magic, but it just jumps out before she finishes covering the top-
ANOMALY detected...analyzing...
TAKE THIS SUCKER!" Shouts rainbow Dash as she smashes into it at super fast speed, breaking off one of it's legs, "HA! GOTCHA!" Shouts Rainbow Dash
ZAP!
CLANK!
Everypony paled as the corrupter simply picked up the leg, zapped a nearby tree dry of life, and attached it back to it's body-
85% operational efficiency...91%...97...100% efficiency reached!
It bellowed as it's leg stopped glowing and sparking...and continued on like nothing happened. "OH, come on!" Shouted Rainbow. Twilight and Rarity jumped into action, once more trying to make a bubble around to trap it-
Unfortunately for them, the Corrupter had used the data from the last time to analyze his opponents...saw the micro-expressions that indicated deep concentration and processed the ideal response to modify it's vocal box-
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Rarity and Twilight covered their ears as their spell fell apart since they couldn't concentrate, The corrupter immediately shot at them both with it's darts, Rarity was hit and lost a good deal of her equilibrium, but Twilight was fast enough to jump away.
"THIS TIME I'LL RIP OUT YOUR EYE!" Shouts Rainbow as she once more plans to super buck it from the skies, the Corrupter's audio receptors pick up her voice and triangulate her position, and within nano-seconds processes the data it had collected to calculate her trajectory, speed, velocity, density, even her bone structure. And just as she got within range-
CRACK!
GAH!
Cried out Rainbow Dash as the corrupter suddenly turned it's body 180 degrees and slammed it's retractable tail into her, more importantly it had calculated how to hit her in just the right way to dislocate one of her wings. She quickly crashes to the ground, crying out in agony.
Fluttershy quickly grabbed her friend and took her to safety, Twilight watched this in panic. She tried to cast another spell, but everytime she did, the corrupter just screamed again! She just couldn't concentrate long enough to form the spell!
"PARTY CANNON!" Shouts Pinkie as she suddenly appeared with her party cannon and shot several dozen cupcakes at the corrupter...who just runs through it undamaged without even slowing down and smashes pinkie's cannon and slams her across Ponyville with it's tail. "'REEEEEALITY ENSSSSUES' SUUUCKS!" Shouts Pinkie as she hits a building and falls unconscious
"PINKIE!" Shouts Twilight just one of the darts hit her...making her feel woozy... She looked up just in time to see the Corrupter raise it's foot to crush her- She teared up as she braced for the end.
OVERRIDE CODE ACCEPTED! GOING INTO SLEEP MODE!
Twilight let out a sigh of relief as the Corrupter shuts down...before collapsing into an exhausted, sleepy heap.
...
"Twilight!" Shouts the CMC, "Relax, the nano-virus embedded in those spikes are meant mainly to hijack enemy machines, organics only get sleepy as an unexpected side-effect." Reassured Dipper as he continues to fiddle away with his laptop.
Dipper let out a sigh of relief, "I'm really glad about my hunch being right. This was an older model, Waaaay before that moron Cave Johnson upgraded them with Polyphasic Waveform Encryption. According to what you told me about how you found it, it must've lost control of it's guidance system and went off course to crash land in Gravity Falls years ago...and since it was in the boundaries of gravity Falls my spell brought it with us-"
"I have NO idea what your talking about", confessed Scootalo confused. Dipper sighed, "Fair enough, I- He stops mid-sentence as he turns to look at Scootalo. "It can't be..." He says in disbelief as he plucks out the large slug that was caught in Scootalo's wing.
"Ewww! Dang it! I thought I got ride of all them!" Shouts Scootalo disgusted. Dipper wasn't listening, he was looking down on the giant, FAMILIAR brownish-black color, with reddish-orange luminescent spots on it's exterior sea slug...something he'd only seen in scientific articles, film reels and reward posters.
"Scootalo...well, we need to make sure are friends are okay...but afterwards it's VERY important you tell me where you found this, okay?" Explained Dipper as he put the 'Luminescense Rapturus' into a specimen jar...of course Dipper only had enough time to label it with the more common moniker...ADAM slug...
...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: The song is 'Winters F**ked up' by 'AnimatedJames'.
AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.
But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?
Love me, flame me, review me