Instability was a part of life at the Smash Mansion.
The same could probably be said about certain parts of reality as well, but the phrase was definitely concrete truth at the Smash Mansion. With multiple universes clashing in seemingly unorthodox situations, it was only natural for a degree of chaos to occur at some time or another. In recent memory, the Smashers had decided to host a holiday get together, inviting their friends, family, and others from their universes. Whether having a huge or small impact, each of these guests left some form of remembrance for the Smashers to live with.
It was the reason why MSB was still in a vegetative state.
The Corrins sighed at the measly sight of the author. It had originally began as a sense of paranoia, but after New Year's, his symptoms had escalated to his current condition. Judging by the sheer amount of chaos that occurred during the holiday get together, the Corrins had assumed that Corrin's (F) sister Camilla had kissed him on Christmas day, and then did it again after MSB failed to outrun her during New Year's. If it had been on the cheek, perhaps it would've mellowed his reactions.
It was quite obvious the kisses hadn't been on the cheek.
Corrin (M) took MSB's temperature, while his female counterpart was on the phone. MSB just stared blankly at the ceiling, as if contemplating the futility of his existence. When Corrin (F) got off the phone, she shook her head in disappointment. "What's his temperature?" she asked, as though she had said it before. "Same as before… normal," her male counterpart replied, "It's obvious at this point he's not sick." Corrin (F) put her hand on her chin.
Why, Camilla, she mentally pouted, why would you put him in this state?
Bowser slammed the door open, the koopa king clearly showing apathy for the author's condition. "Is the kid up yet?" he snarled, having dealt with MSB's condition during its first few days in effect. Corrin (M) shook his head, responding, "No, Bowser. For the dozenth time, MSB hasn't recovered!" Bowser scoffed in displeasure. "Why's the kid making such a big deal about a stupid kiss!? I would've KILLED to be kissed twice by Peach!" he grunted.
Mario and Cappy, who were walking down the hall, shook their heads at Bowser's comment.
"It's not like we haven't been trying," Corrin (F) added. "I've been calling doctor's left and right over this, but they keep telling me to see a therapist…" she continued. "So what?" Bowser questioned. "How many therapists do YOU know of?" Corrin (M) asked rhetorically. Bowser opened his mouth to reply, only to close it after realizing he didn't have an answer. "Hmph," he snorted, "well, as long as there are no consequences to whatever he has, I'm goo-GRAAAAAH!"
He was cut short after he somehow phased through the floor.
Ryu was in the middle of a fight with the Wii Fit Trainer (F), having decided to improve his combat skills with a friendly Smash battle. He rushed up to her, pulling his foot forward and pivoting with his other to perform a Hurricane Kick. Wii Fit Trainer skillfully dodged, and punished Ryu with a quick forward smash attack. Ryu quickly jumped in mid-air in order to keep himself from getting KO'd, while the Wii Fit Trainer used her Deep Breathing technique. The two Smashers rushed towards each other, determined to knock the other out.
Bowser quite literally crashed their party with his Down Special.
The Corrins took in this scene in shock. They turned toward MSB, hoping he hadn't done something too out of character. Sadly, he was laying on the room ceiling, crushing their hopes. "What is going on?" Corrin (F) asked, perplexed beyond probable proportions. "Well…" MSB grumbled reluctantly, "if I have this right, my sudden shift in behavior is causing a temporary shift in the mansion's laws of reality." The Corrin's raised their eyebrows in confusion. MSB sighed in disappointment. "Basically," he continued, "if I don't get help, something like-"
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The Corrins froze in place, unable to react to the phenomenon that just occured. "-that will happen," MSB finished, also shook by the paradox. Lucina took this time to walk into the room, accompanied by her husband Robin (M). MSB fell to the floor, colliding head first with his carpet. The Corrins had to remember to breathe. "What's up?" Robin asked, admittedly more chill than he should be. Corrin (M) looked at him in desperation. "Do you know a therapist?" he croaked, not knowing if he could continue further tolerate MSB's influence.
"Well…" Lucina started, signifying the person she had in mind was questionable at best.
Meanwhile, Mario was wandering around the mansion, having a conversation with Cappy. The two had spent a good chunk of their time getting to know each other better since Christmas, and had found themselves discussing a number of things. Currently, they were talking about the space-time logic of the Smash Mansion. "...which is-a why when the next-a Smash game gets announced and we all-a leave, our memories of our-a future will be wiped!" the plumber finished, explaining why the Smashers had access to certain video games that were technically past cannon.
"Well that's just plain freaky!" Cappy explained.
"To be-a fair," Mario continued, "it does allow-a you and I to get properly acquainted." He did make a good point; after all, he's supposed to meet Cappy in Super Mario Odyssey. "It keeps our games' cannon in-a check…" The plumber would find himself stopped short when he noticed something rather odd… Link was in the living room playing an NES Classic. Captain Falcon was playing its SNES counterpart. This should be good…
"Pardon-a me," Mario intruded, "but what in-a the name of mushrooms are you-a doing?"
Link didn't even glance over his shoulder when he monotonously replied, "Reliving the glory days." Captain Falcon nodded in agreement, before continuing his session of F-Zero without missing a beat. Mario sighed in dismay; like the two Smashers before him, he too had undergone a nostalgia trip. Luckily, there was one person who could help, but first…
Mario disconnected the power cable to the TV, causing it to go black.
The two Smashers stared dumbfoundedly at the powerless TV, before turning towards Mario's direction. Seething in rage, the two Smashers lunged toward the plumber, though he barely dodged. Mario, realizing he was currently outmatched, began to start running for his life, Cappy following close behind. They were about to escape down the corner, only to run into Donkey Kong. While Mario would normally be in a panic at this point, the fact that Cappy was around gave him an idea.
When Link and Captain Falcon made the turn on the hallway corner, they were knocked out cold by "DK's" fists.
MSB regretted everything. He regretted every mistake he ever made. He regretted every life changing opportunity he was too braindead to take. He regretted… well, anything he felt fit the situation. He cursed himself for blindly following Lucina to the shady door, both Corrins following closely behind. Lucina didn't give him a chance to see the room number, either, as she flung the door wide open, both Corrins simultaneously shoving him in the room. While he was flat on his back, there was something about the room's dark decour, the unearthly scent, the slightly psychotic feminine laughter as the door SLAMMED!
Oh no, thought MSB, this is Bayonetta's room.
Indeed, the Umbra Witch in question slowly stood up from her bed, luckily dressed in her usual attire. She sauntered seductively towards our unfortunate author, who's nerves were so shocked he resorted to cowering in his metaphorical boots. Bayonetta casually placed her hand on MSB's cheek, causing all of his blood to rush to his face. She gave a seemingly innocent giggle, loving the struggle the author was dealing with.
"Well then," she whispered, moving close enough to MSB to make his heart stop, "why don't we get started?"
Rosalina was hoping for an uneventful day with her Lumas, but as fate would have it, DK barged through the door. Rosalina dropped the book she was reading at the gorilla's sudden entrance, her shock cleary etched on her face. Donkey Kong dropped Link and Captain Falcon at her feet and left the room. She hear a ding! from the outside of her door, and Mario stepped in. So that's why DK had a mustache, Rosalina realized. She regained her fous as the red clad plummer stood before her.
"Rosalina," he began, "I need your-a help…"
As for MSB, he was currently being massaged by Bayonetta. While Bayonetta for the most part restricted it to just using her hands, she occasionally rubbed against him using… other body parts. MSB was lucky to not be sweating a river. In all honesty, he actually felt somewhat brain dead. In order to avoid panicking to the point of no return, he decided to set his brain on autopilot, though this in of itself had its consequences. He heard Link running away from his Master Sword (oddly flailing about in midair), Villager had to save Isabelle (who somehow grew wings), and for a moment, he could've sworn the room had five Bayonettas.
He shivered at that last memory; one Bayonetta was enough.
"OKAY, OKAY! CAN WE STOP NOW!?" MSB finally begged, desperate to end his suffering. He noticed how Bayonetta stopped massaging him for a moment. She was silent for a while, before admitting with reluctance, "I suppose…" Praise God… and Palutena!, thought MSB. His torture would soon come to an close! "However…" the Umbra Witch began, a sly grin slowly spreading across her face. She turned MSB over to face her, closing her eyes and puckering her lips. Was she about to-? MSB was suddenly covered in sweat, his skin a very deep shade of red…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!" he cried, using all of his strength to break out of the room.
Rosalina, Mario, Link, and Captain Falcon were in meditation positions, breathing slowly, as if trying to clear their minds. "Well boys…" Rosalina whispered, "how do you feel?" Link sighed from relief; "Like I've been cleansed from my past burdens…" he assured. Captain Falcon's response was just as enlighted; "The weight on my shoulders has been buried in the past…" "See-a boys," Mario muttered in delight, "I-a told you Rosalina could a help." The swordsman and the racer chuckled in approval, as the four continued experiencing enlightenment.
Until they heard a *CRASH* a few doors away.
Startled, Rosalina and her Lumas approached the door, opening it to find a rather chaotic sight. MSB was, for whatever reason, bouncing around the mansion like a madman, while Bayonetta followed in hot pursuit. The author was constantly repeating "NOPE!" as if it was the one thing keeping the witch from grabbing him. Mario, Link, and Captain Falcon took in the scene with mixed emotions. There was a gleam in Link and Captain Falcon's eyes. They charged at the scene without hesitation.
Thus, the balance of imbalance at the Smash Mansion was restored.