Little author notes about so much.
Ownership Disclaimer: Glee and Glee words? No, not mine, but what's mine is mine. If you've seen the ep, you'll probably notice the relevant dialogue, but you'll also see what I've done with it, so that, dear friends is all mine. I do own a copy of the seasons one to four, and a bucket of their legit music on cd.
Music: Make You Feel My Love, it's the Adele song, sung by Lea Michelle as Rachel, in episode Quarterback. I hope you know it, but can follow if you don't.
Warning: You and I, we, never know where this is going to take us. Finn themed, and so I always like to warn of that, in case you need it.
Dedication: For those wanting courage to be themselves, and who feel no one else cares. If you believe in yourself, and know your abilities, possibilities do happen.
I'd be interested if you like these words. Please review or send me a pm? It's really important for personal growth and blah di blah.
I'm always confident, but the April stats have me nicely surprised. There were well over FOUR THOUSAND views {One Thousand Nine Hundred and Thirty Three Visitors}.
Obvious indication that all is good and this is Glee, we all love Glee.
~ S5 ep 18, Montgomery Clift ~
. ~ o ~ .
Finn's dreams would never come true, he didn't know where his life was headed, he tried for Rachel, he tried to be positive and encouraged her.
He'd felt a total loser, he certainly wasn't qualified to do anything and that's probably why he didn't know what to do with his life. He hadn't even graduated from high school.
It's after graduation that the journey really begins, the planning shouldn't have worried him.
He, like everyone insecure, wanted time to stop, he wanted to feel like he's still on the football field with the crowd going nuts, or that he's on the stage during a performance and everybody's on their feet. He wanted the constant feel of adrenaline, thrill, the accolades that come after the pinnacle of piece de resistance.
Searching his soul for the exact crucial feeling of what he wanted, he came up with the essence that he wanted to keep the feeling of being young.
Clear memories of demanding from Mr Schue, of where in any of the career books would that direction be, to a career that will keep him feeling young. Allowing time to stand still.
It's an early morning, trying to shake the dreams of his sleep, that followed him outside, he violently shivers, dropping the car keys. They land in a puddle of brown water. Fishing them out, he finds a cold coin mixed in with them. He wipes it, it's a shiny silver dollar.
Sitting in the driver's seat, he looks up to Rachel's bedroom bay-window. He knows he can do anything he wants, as long as it fits in to her plans of New York, her dreams.
Turning the key and revving the motor, he hears Mr Schue, "It isn't the broken dreams that break us, it's the ones we don't dare to dream". The voice was loud in his ears, as if Mr Schue is sitting alongside him. "What?" he looks around in the car, Mr Schue isn't there.
Seat belt on, he checks for traffic and reverses out on to the road. He looks back up to Rachel's window, she should be sound asleep but she's sitting in the bay-window, looking over at the sun rising up from the horizon.
In her mind, he'll always have those burgundy pants on, that blue shirt that complimented his body, the way it clung to his skin. She'll always have on that purple dress, with the slinky straps. They'll always be dancing together, the mirror ball above, the white plexi-glass floor underneath.
Now though, she'll always have Sunday mornings, the day after any Saturday night.
She dials his phone again, like every other Sunday, when she feels this way. And as predicted, "Hi Rachel, leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can. And never, ever forget, how much I love you."
Quietly she sings, "When the rain is blowing in your face, …" wipes an escaped tear, "and the whole world is on your case…" turning from the bay-window, "I could offer you a loving embrace, … to make you feel my love…" she hears Kurt in the kitchen.
Her fingers playing with Finn's gold necklace, "When the evening shadows and the stars appear, … and there's no one there to dry your tears….." she walks passed her bed and glances where Finn would have laid, had he stayed that other morning, so many years ago. "I could hold you for a million years, … to make you feel my love."
Pulling her curtain aside, Kurt pricks an ear up and looks toward her, "I know you haven't made your mind up yet…" and takes the next line "But I would never do you wrong."
As she reaches him, he takes her in his arms, together, "I've known it from the moment that we met…" He wipes more tears from her cheeks and gives her a most delicate kiss, "… no doubt in my mind where you belong..." Hugging her a little tighter, she buries her face in his chest, and on to another day. They quietly, gently dance on the spot, to remembered music of a sombre moment.
After regaining composure, they enjoy breakfast and she tells him of her appointment from yesterday, with the talent agency. He tells her of June Dolloway visiting and how he and Blaine will get to sing for her, at a benefit.
. ~ o ~ .
Mercedes came home early, to find Santana in her waitress uniform. "So they took you back did they?"
"Yes, I made them see my reason, they actually apologized and asked me to return." Folding her arms, she asks. "Why are you home so early?"
"An interruption to the recording schedule, but I'll be going back in the morning."
"Can I come and watch you? I don't have a shift until tomorrow night."
"Ah, yeah! That would be so good." Honest enthusiasm from Mercedes and she puts her coat down, "How would you like to try and sing a duet with me? You know to get the feel of the room and help put me in a groove."
Santana, shocked and surprised, "That'd be great, thanks Mercedes." She goes toward her, stops and wipes her hands on her apron.
. ~ o ~ .
Rachel is trying to change, thoughts of her new agent fading in the back ground as 'the' Mr Fox walks in to her dressing room. Thoughts of security also fading as she becomes a little star struck.
Mr Fox talks at a phenomenal speed, she can make out he wants her to come audition for a show she'll be perfect for. She nods her head and understands what she can.
Finally he leaves and she goes to find security. She growls about her personal safety and how tired she is.
The producer over-hears and steps in to make her stress level worse. "Sydney, I need a time out." She walks to her dressing room and he follows.
"Rachel…." Turning around, hands on her hips, "Sydney, you just can't follow me in here. Please leave?" crosses her arms and patiently waits.
He fumbles, wondering if she's serious, "Excuse me then."
She hears him call for her understudy, "Maria, can you come here please?" Rachel hears them talking and they fade as they move further away from her open door.
She gets up and closes it.
. ~ o ~ .
Mercedes and Santana play with blending their voices in random songs. Unaware that they were being recorded, it's something LeSean loves to do, he lets the artist relax and be themselves. Thinking they're not being recorded, always brings out the best in them. Later LeSean will edit what he's recorded and give it to Mercedes. He's certain that they've got a hit on their hands.
. ~ o ~ .
Kurt has a date with Blaine, Rachel is adjusting his tie. A date that hopefully, will turn into an opportunity for them to shine as a couple of budding artists to June Dolloway. "Rachel, this is such a great opportunity for us."
"Oh Kurt, I'm so sorry I'm going to miss it."
"It's fine, it's fine. I'll think of you though."
"Thanks Kurt, I'll be thinking of you two also."
. ~ o ~ .
The guests are sitting at their tables, the Emcee gets up to introduce June Dolloway. As he stumbles to the stage, knocking drinks and guests, "My apologeees. I am shooow vewy sowwy."
As loud as he can, he says in to a turned off microphone, "Ladieees and Zgentalmennnn. I produce for yewwww, Miss Juuuune Dolllowayyyy."
She enters and is escorted to her table. The guests applaud their welcoming to her.
Kurt is wide eyed and in love once more. "Oh she's stunning!" Blaine claps too and smiles at how enthralled Kurt is, clearly this is an idol for him.
The Emcee announces, "Kurt Ommell and Blaine Anderrrrsonnn". They sing a mixed medley to the audience and to the guest of honour.
The split second Blaine sings his line, June is captivated by him. She thinks, "So this, is Blaine Devon Anderson." She has heard so much about him, from sources in the industry. They've been whispering about him for some years. He started at prep school, was a shining star then.
She heard of him when she arrived at Dalton Academy, missed meeting him by two days. She'd heard he sung like a dream and had the voice of an Angel, in a class of his own.
He throws himself into expressing the song with movement of grasping at the air, to an imaginary someone that needs to be drawn in. She has to cover her smile, he's infectious to make others smile so wide.
She blushes from what this really, really young guy is doing to her ummmmm, lady senses. "Oh my, he is really good, so beautiful, and although the shirt is too busy, his tie is very cute, he's very cute."
As Blaine kneels down and reaches for her hand, Kurt in the background, makes faces that could be read as thinking of knocking Blaine over. June lets Blaine take her hand, and thrills when she feels his warm lips kiss the back of it, and winks at her. "Oh, oh good grieff!"
She glances up at Kurt and throws him a questioning look. Kurt replies with a little apology shake of his head. Once Blaine is out of the way, Kurt rushes down to take his place and receive her outstretched hand.
In his haste though, his legs give out from him and he side swipes the legs out from her chair. She's floored, her chair ricochets into the lady alongside and knocks her over too. Other immediate guests scramble out of the way…
The rest of the night consisted of ambulances, Kurt crying, Blaine trying to comfort him. Kurt and Blaine being escorted from the room to their own ambulance that would take them to a different hospital. One for gushing fans.
. ~ o ~ .
The next night Blaine rings Kurt, "She wants to see us, on such and such date. Can you make it to ….? I'll meet you there."
At the meeting with them, she discusses how they need to take all opportunities that come their way.
They need to, "Keep good company, friends are everything, you are the company you keep." She blushes more as she holds a split second too long, of eye contact with Blaine. "I sound like a collection of clichés, but it's all very true."
Fanning herself with a menu, and deciding to not look Blaine in the eyes ever again, "You attract in what you put out. So if you put out charisma, and …." on she talks to Kurt's eyes and just occasional glances in Blaine's direction.
Kurt grabs Blaine's hand, under the table edge. A hold of conversation that indicates, "I'm not sure why she's not looking at you so much now." Kurt squeezes his hand a smidge more.
Rubbing the back of Kurt's hand, letting him know that, "I'm getting pretty upset now. I feel like getting up and storming out. Like I did after singing that Whitney song, remember?"
Kurt looks down at their hands and holds them to his knee, looks up at Blaine, "Yes I remember, don't be silly."
Blaine glares at Kurt, his cheeks burning with hurt. Kurt's begin to burn also, and he looks to meet Blaine's rebuttal.
"Excuse me." Blaine gets up, places his napkin down on his plate, turns and walks to the cloak room.
"Excuse me, Miss Dolloway." Kurt gets up and follows to where Blaine went …
. ~ o ~ .
Extra little Author Notes: If you would like some more of Finn, a tribute can be located in chapter three of this collection, The Quarterback, And Now, Drum Roll Please!