Fortunately, the tower wasn't as bad as it had originally seemed. Sure some of the windows were blown out, and some of the walls were charred from RyAnd'r's starbolts, but our rooms were still untouched. Exhausted though we were, we all pitched in to put the common room back in order before we headed off to our rooms. It felt important, reclaiming our home. No one spoke. There were so many elephants in the room it wasn't even worth pointing them out.
"Where is Kid Flash?" Starfire asked as she lowered the couch back onto the floor after I finished vacuuming beneath it. I shrugged and switched off the vacuum to fire off a quick message on my communicator to Wally. His response told me that he'd gotten a hold of Flash who'd sprinted him off to receive immediate medical attention for his leg. Starfire was relieved when I read his response out loud. Later, I would write him a longer letter to thank him for coming to my rescue, but I just didn't have the energy in me anymore.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm beat. I'm going to go recharge my batteries. See you in the morning," Cyborg announced with a yawn. He waved as he walked off to his room. Beast Boy and Raven murmured in agreement and I'm sure I wasn't the only one who noticed him wait for her before they walked up to the dormitories together. That left me and Star in the Common Room. She stood at the kitchen island with one knee resting on the bar stool chair. Her attention seemed to be somewhere else. I leaned against the back of the couch, watching her. For the first time since returning from Tamaran it dawned on me that I'd agreed to marry her. So much had happened that that little detail had simply fallen through the cracks.
"Everything all right, Star?" I asked when she showed no sign of moving. She jumped and turned her head to look at me.
"Oh! Apologies, Robin. I was doing the 'spacing,' was I not?"
"It's okay, Star. These past few days have been crazy. Do you want to talk about it?"
"It is just..." she trailed off, biting her lower lip in deep thought. The sight of her white teeth tugging at her glossy mouth drew my attention and I couldn't stop my mind from remembering what it felt like to have that mouth against mine. The way she had taken charge of the kiss... How her body molded itself against mine so that I felt every inch of her tall, tanned body against mine... I felt my breathing grow shallow and I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.
"It's just what?" Man, I didn't mean for my voice to sound that husky. Quickly, I cleared my throat and crossed the room to join her at the island. she had something on her mind and I was losing myself in my hormones.
"Please do not be angry with me, but I do not believe my brother is the criminal. I realize that he did the kidnapping of you, and that he harmed our friends intentionally, but I cannot help but think that it is Blackfire's fault. She kept him from me and kept the truth from him. Is it so wrong that he should choose her side when she is the one who took care of him?" Her green eyes were full of sadness as they lifted to meet mine. She wanted so desperately to find an excuse for her brother. Maybe she remembered a time when they had loved each other the way siblings should. Maybe she was just fooling herself and RyAnd'r was just as evil and screwed up as Blackfire. But it didn't matter. He was all that was left of her family and she wanted to save him.
"I'm not angry," I assured her, touching her shoulder. "He's your brother-a brother you didn't even know was still alive until a few days ago. No one blames you for wanting to believe there's a good person still inside of him."
"You must think I am damaged to have come from such a family full of such dysfunction. I apologize that you must deal with our problems."
"Don't apologize. You're not the only with family issues. You saw Raven's Daddy issues, and Batman and I aren't exactly the best of friends."
"Yes, but-"
I kissed her to shut her up. It was just a quick peck on the lips, but it was effective. I grinned at the adorable look of shock and pleasure that brought a rosy hue to her face.
"Besides, you and I have other things to worry about. The last time I checked, we decided to get married. I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather talk about what that future holds than the parts of our past we can't change."
"After all this you still wish to marry me?" she asked incredulously. Her surprise made me frown.
"I'm not going to lie, the idea of being married at sixteen is a little terrifying, but there's nothing you or anyone else can do to scare me away at this point. I'd marry you a hundred times if it meant that I don't have to lose you to someone else." The mushy words were doing the trick. All the fear and concern were melting away from her as a dreamy smile brightened her face with a radiance I had never seen before. God she was beautiful.
"Actually," she blushed a bright red and ducked her head. "We are not betrothed until..." She giggled nervously.
"Until what?" I had a sinking suspicion I knew what she was going to say and I wasn't sure how I was going to react if she actually said what I was thinking.
"I realize that all of this is very sudden for you, Robin. I do not wish to ask more than you are prepared to give. I will inform the Counsel that the betrothal has been completed."
"Until what?" I prodded. My face was getting warm now as I imagined all the various ways a culture might seal a betrothal.
"On Tamaran, my betrothed would be expected to share my quarters. The time between the betrothal and the wedding feast is meant to be a time of courtship and coming to know each other better...as partners." Yep, I was beet red now.
"Oh. You mean... Right now...?"
"I am not asking anything of you, Robin. You are not ready. On Earth these things take time. Just know that my door will always be open to you." She started to move past me, but my hand shot out and wrapped around her wrist as though it had a mind of its own. I looked at the floor, too chicken to look her in the eye.
"We just have to sleep in the same bed?"
"Yes. It is a symbol of trust that we would allow ourselves to be at our most vulnerable in the presence of our betrothed. It is not uncommon for couples to copulate during this time, but it is not required. I know that is asking too much of you." The blood surging through my veins was torn between filling my face with heat or rushing to fill other parts of my body at what she was suggesting. The trouble was, I wasn't freaked out by the idea. Pictures of pulling her into my arms as we slept started flashing through my head and I was almost entirely on board with the idea. We could do this at our own pace. I mean, we were betrothed. Batman had even given his permission...more or less.
"Your room or mine?" I asked. That husky note had found its way back into my voice but I didn't care. Her answering sultry smile was totally worth it. She yanked me to her and hugged me so hard that I had to tap out for air.
We decided on her room. Her bed with its unusual shape was larger and better able to fit two people comfortably in it. I was grateful that the others had gone to bed before us and that I wouldn't be seen going in. While I was comfortable with taking this step with her, I would probably lose my nerve if Beast Boy or Cyborg was around to tease me about it. I fully planned on sneaking out in the morning without being seen.
The moment we closed the door behind us, things got awkward-at least for me anyway. I didn't know whether to just strip down in front of her or go back to my room and change. Should I shower first, or could we both just accept that we were too tired and just go to sleep. This was her room, should I wait for her to get into bed first? Starfire was no help. Rather than give me a clue, she just drifted over to her vanity and began brushing out her hair. She had her back to me but our eyes locked in the mirror as I stood there helplessly debating what I should do. Taking a chance, I walked over and sat on the edge of her bed, watching her stroke the black brush down through her long red hair. In the silent room I could hear the faint swish as it pulled through the wavy strands. Needing something to do, I tugged off my gloves and tossed them onto the floor. She dragged her hair over one shoulder, exposing the long line of her neck for me to see. She arched her back, giving me a spectacular view of her profile as she did so, in order to unclasp the gorget that encircled her throat. As it clattered to the floor I realized how vulnerable she looked without it, though perhaps vulnerable wasn't the right word. Exposed was a better choice. Without the heavy metal that shielded her neck and shoulders I saw that her purple leotard was held up by only a thin band behind her neck. Considering everything that it held in place...it seemed woefully inadequate.
I kicked off my boots, not taking my eyes off her as she twisted in her seat to unzip her own thigh-high purple ones one by one. My eyes followed her hand as it traveled gracefully down her calf and her beautiful long legs were exposed. With shaky fingers, I reached up to unclip my cape from my shoulders and dropped it on top of the heap I had already made with the rest of my uniform. My utility belt followed soon after.
Starfire rose from her seat and floated toward me.
"Robin, you know that I admire you more than any other," she began softly.
"Starfire, stop talking and kiss me!" I groaned, hauling her onto my lap. I crashed our mouths together, wrapping my hands around her narrow waist as she straddled me. She grabbed my head in her hands and pulled me to her, kissing me as though our lives depended on it. My hands ran up and down her exposed back, gripping her soft skin and kneading it with my fingers. Her hips rolled against me and I groaned at the sensations she sent spiraling through me. This was dangerous, but I didn't care, it was glorious. I moved from her lips to suck at the soft, delicate skin of her throat as she threw back her head and gasped to the ceiling. The sound of it nearly took my head off. Her fingers clenched in my hair and tugged. A few hairs pulled loose thanks to her super strength and I winced, but before I could ask her to let go she was tilting my head up for more kisses, pushing her full weight down on me so that I laid back on her bed. Blindly, we scooted up the bed until my head found the pillows before we continued kissing. So long I'd dreamed of her like this. That amazing body pressed against mine, that beautiful face between my hands, and that soft hair falling down around us. Her hands trailed down my chest and over my stomach before she tugged my shirt free of my pants and yanked it over my head. She gasped at the sight of my bare chest.
I never take my shirt off around the others if I can help it. I may have an eight pack and muscles to spare, but I've also got a symphony of scars written across my body that I'm not proud of. Each scar is a memory of a time I wasn't fast enough to get out of the way. Every burn is a mistake that I should have avoided. There's nothing pretty about my body. Starfire doesn't scar. Her skin is perfect and unblemished, and smooth and soft. Mine... Mine makes you want to cry.
"Robin..." she whispered, staring down at me. I squirmed under her gaze. Her eyes found the round mark left by a bullet that had been the final nail in the coffin between Batman and I. Her finger traced it gently and I flinched.
"I guess I got a little carried away," I said, trying to laugh it off. I'd never really considered the possibility that I would ever have a girlfriend, so I'd never bothered to think about what would happen if the girl I was with ever got a good look at the real me. It didn't help that the girl on top of me was everything that I wasn't.
"Maybe we should get some sleep," I said, tapping her leg so that she would move and I could roll onto my side. A bad move. The scars on my back are worse than my front. I don't often get hit if I can see it coming. It's the attacks that come from behind that I have a hard time getting out of the way of. She said nothing. I felt the bed shift as she left it to turn off the lights. Then she slid into bed, but rather than put her head on the pillow beside mine, her toes brushed against my shoulder blade. Oh yea, I'd forgotten she did that. Starfire sleeps upside down. She claims it feels better to her, but I don't understand how.
Slowly, the pounding of my heart eased into a more natural rhythm and I gave myself over to my exhaustion.