Chapter Nine

She was a vampire. Vampires weren't supposed to feel cold or constantly shiver. She was now a vampire—a cold blooded killer.

That thought made Caroline's insides turn and she could feel her stomach clenching within her. Her grip on the counter top tightened while she forced herself from looking at her reflection in the mirror before her. Caroline whipped her head back as she tried not screaming out in pain. Trying to contain herself, Caroline clutched at the counter harder and harder and harder. All until it broke to have pieces of the edge to fall at the floor. Caroline let out a low snarl at the feeling of dust dig into her eyes.

Finally looking into the bathroom mirror, Caroline's brows furrowed at the sight of the monster that stared back at her. Caroline let out a pained cry once her finger tips touched the throbbing veins under her eyes.

She was a monster.

Rapidly turning around so that she could no longer see herself, Caroline swallowed hard and harder, trying to avoid the constant thirst that craved at her tightening throat. Her breath wavered while she tried to calm herself down.

Burying her face in her hands, Caroline cried.

She cried.

She was a monster—

I'm a monster.

She could hear him making his way down the hall and closer to her room and yet she refused to let her eyes open when she stayed completely still on the bed.

Caroline had not slept at all at night and she knew that it wouldn't matter because it wasn't like she needed sleep anymore or anything. She was a vampire after all.

Sighing out loud at the feeling of his eyes on her, Caroline finally allowed herself to smile a little. But she probably knew she looked absolutely pathetic when she did so.

"How was it last night?" he asked concerned.

Caroline allowed her eyes to drift open but she refused to let herself move when she stared up at the man who stood leaned against the door frame. She sighed out loud again.

"Fantastic," she muttered.

Caroline could feel her insides starting to turn again at the expression on his face. Concern. He seemed to believe that she would make it through this and that revolted Caroline because she couldn't—she couldn't make it through this. Deep down underneath it all, Caroline knew she was going to hurt the man before her and disappoint him somehow. She always seemed to be a disappointment and that wasn't going to change, alive or dead.

"I'll take that your mother wasn't so happy about you staying here?"

Caroline looked back at him and nodded. She pursed her lips and winced at the feeling of her throat tightening again.

She was thirsty.

"Yeah, well, I told her I'm staying at Bonnie's for a while. I called Bonnie before calling my mother and she didn't refuse the idea – but then again she cut the phone on me right after I had made my point so…"

He nodded, his body twitching which was caught by Caroline.

Caroline sighed internally before forcing a smile upon her lips.

"I'm alright Stefan," she said reassuringly.

Stefan nodded and smiled at the blonde but it didn't reach his eyes.

Finally deciding on moving up from her position on the bed, Caroline sat on the edge of the bed as her feet hung from the side. She looked at Stefan who still seemed deep in thought.

"I'm thirsty," Caroline blurted out.

She watched when Stefan's eyes shot her direction at the words. She cringed at the forced smile he gave her way once again.

"Freshen up and meet us downstairs, if we're going to help you, we've got to start sooner rather than later."

Caroline nodded slowly at the man before she watched him walk out of her room again. She stared at where Stefan once was and nodded again, this time to her lonesome self.

She was going to make it out of this.

Right?

Caroline winced at the feeling of sharp and tiny rocks pinch at her back when she was thrown to the cold ground deep in the forest. Eyeing the tall trees that arched up before her, Caroline allowed her eyes to follow Damon who stood bored above her. He didn't even bother looking at her. Her upper lip twitched at that. Her hands in fists at her side now, she quickly got off the muddy ground in a blink of an eye. Before she knew it she had ripped a thick branch off the nearest tree and vampire sped towards Damon's form as she tried attacking him again.

Caroline's breath hitched when she watched Damon quickly face her now while his hand firmly took hold of her wrist of the hand that currently held the piece of wood. Eyes wandering Damon's blank form, Caroline yelled out loudly at the feeling of her wrist twisting to the point where her now broken fingers dropped the branch lifelessly at the ground. Eyes watering slightly, Caroline looked away from her hand and at Damon who held no remorse. His eyes cold as she continued to stare into them.

Body hardening, Caroline tried her best in composing herself again which then made Damon easily let go of her hand. Blinking away the tears in her eyes, Caroline quickly brought her hand back towards her, hugging it at her chest as she refused to look at him again.

She didn't get why he was being so cruel to her. It was only her second official day as a vampire and Damon seemed to hate her more than he did when she was human. Caroline didn't know if she was just over looking things, but he seemed to not care for her at all. He was only doing this because of Stefan. Not for her; he didn't give a damn about her and she knew it.

Looking back up at Damon who lazily eyed her frozen form, Caroline's jaw clenched before she tried to use her vampire speed to advantage and attack him again. And fail. Twisting her so that Damon was now behind her, she struggled in his hold. Lip twitching at the pain of his new hold, Caroline huffed in a sharp breath before asking, "How is this going to help me?"

Caroline could feel Damon's steady breath at the back of her ear, and that just made her struggle even further in his hold.

"We wouldn't want you to die so soon, now would we?" Damon answered in slight annoyance.

Caroline laughed darkly, before nudging Damon hard in the rib cage which caused his hold on her to loosen. Twisting herself, Caroline managed to pin Damon to the ground. Now sitting on top of him, Caroline held the previous stick that Damon had made her drop in her hands, resting the tip of it at his chest (right above the heart). Caroline couldn't help but grin at the look Damon gave her way.

"But I'm already dead, remember?" Caroline said, eyeing Damon's form that lay beneath her harshly before allowing herself to get off of him.

Damon didn't move off the ground as he eyed the blonde that had rolled onto her back beside him. He simply stared as she eyed her healed hand that was broken just a minute ago. Looking back above him, Damon allowed his eyes to trace the different outlining's of the trees that stretched tall. His eyes followed the branches that were visible as they poked at the dull sky. No cloud seemed to be in sight. Everything was just dark.

"Why are you even doing this – helping me, I mean?" Caroline asked not bothering in looking directly at the Salvatore as she continued to lie still a few inches away from him.

Damon didn't bother looking her way either while her question almost pained his thoughts. Continuing to stare above him into the darkening sky, Damon replied, "Stefan thinks you might have a chance – but let's face it, the selfish and insecure blonde won't make the cut."

Caroline's face hardened, her teeth gritting together while she heard the tiredness and boredom laced within his words. Obviously it was about Stefan. Damon didn't think she had a chance in surviving this at all. He thought of her as a disappointment and it angered her. She wasn't going to allow him to get to her. She was not going to let Stefan regret anything nor was she going to let Damon get the satisfaction. It's funny thinking that she was in love with this man when she clearly hated him just as equally. She hated him. And that was without the compulsion.

Glancing at Damon, Caroline couldn't believe all the things he had done to her when she was human. He had fed on her repeatedly, he had manipulated her, abused her, and she had still stupidly loved him.

Then he had the nerve to make her forget all of it. All of her love for him? He wanted her to hate him.

Well it worked because Caroline now hates Damon Salvatore.

"You probably feel like you have me figured out Damon. But you don't – you don't know me," Caroline said. She didn't mean for her words to come out harsh or annoyed, but she couldn't control the sudden anger that built inside of her towards the man.

"Oh but I do know you Blondie. You're the useless cheerleader that everyone secretly pities because no matter hard you try you're never good enough."

Caroline shuddered at his words. Never good enough…

Her hands clutched at the side of her shirt as she tried not letting herself show just how much his words had affected her. The fact that she could practically hear him grinning when speaking made her head want to explode.

"You compelled me to hate you," Caroline started softly. She could see Damon's form twitch at her side. Looking out before her, Caroline stared at the trees in awe as she continued, "You compelled me to forget that I—"

"Don't think too much into it Blondie," Damon stated while forcing himself to relax.

Caroline snorted. She didn't even know why she even tried to talk to him. He was impossible. "Well, in that case, don't strain your mind when thinking about the 'useless and pathetic blonde' being in love with you," Caroline snapped.

Damon's body tensed once again. She was in love with me.

Letting him to slowly look over at her, Damon's eyes hardened at her tensed form. He knew she was hurting and he knew it was because of him. But that wasn't going to stop him from being an ass all over again. "So you actually believe you've got a chance in surviving this thing?" Damon asked.

Caroline sighed internally at the fact that he seemed to change the subject. He was just trying to bring her down again. He always seemed to want to bring her down. Break her.

Not even giving him another look, Caroline slowly started to get off of the floor while brushing herself off. Finally looking down at Damon who seemed to be looking up at her, Caroline bit at her inner cheek before speaking, "I'm not going to let Stefan down."

Damon's brow rose only to furrow when he watched Caroline start to walk away from him and the trees around them.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Caroline didn't even bother looking back at Damon as she continued to walk away from him. "Away from here," she muttered under her breath, but she knew he was able to hear her.

Just away from you…

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