Still a bit bland, but I promise the next chapter will be soooooo much better! Needless to say, I think this chapter is still better than the last. Feel free to comment on my grammar, or if you think the story just plain sucks. I mean it, really. :)
Jemma found a seat with Ellie. Joel hadn't shown up yet, and she saved him a seat next to her. The town only consisted of around fifty people, much less than Jemma thought. She found out that the building used to be a town hall, but over the last few years, Tommy and a few other men spruced it up with a kitchen and other things.
She wished she hadn't worn the dress.
Everyone had dished up, and started to eat, and Jemma looked at her plate. Joel saw her hesitation, and asked her if she was alright.
"Don't you guys say prayer?" She wasn't embarrassed to ask, but as soon as the last word left her mouth, a certain quietness went through the hall.
Jemma stood up. "I'll say grace over our food," she said, and folded her arms.
"Dear kind Father in Heaven, we thank thee for this day. We thank thee for everything that thou has given us. Please bless this food, so that we can get strength from it to better serve thee. Please give us the strength to forgive those who have trespassed against us. Again, we thank thee for giving us this food to eat and this company to share. We thank thee for the safety that thou has given us. We say these things, humbly, in the name of our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, amen." She looked up to see that most of the group had joined her by bowing their heads. Even the redhead.
As she sat down, Ellie congratulated her. "That was so badass! I've never heard a REAL prayer!" Jemma laughed.
"I say a prayer every time I eat. My father once told me that when you forget to be grateful, God won't listen to you. Or something like that."
Joel joined in the conversation. "I heard you made these taters. I haven't had mashed potatoes in years."
"Really?"
"They don't make anything spectacular here," Ellie explained.
Jemma looked at her food. She realized she didn't have much of an appetite. "You can eat my share," she whispered to Ellie as she stood to leave.
...
Jemma actually felt really sick. She walked down the front steps of the hall, and it hit her all at once. She gagged, but she couldn't throw up because her stomach was practically empty. She just wanted to go to sleep, and she headed towards the direction of Joel and Ellie's house.
She thought she could feel her baby move inside of her, which sickened her even more. She didn't want to have that fucking thing. She just imagined it, holding it in her arms, covered in baby goo and who knows what else. Crying, and eating, and shitting, and just repeating that for two years. She should have just killed herself a long time ago. But, she thought, she used to be like that, so maybe there was some hope.
When Jemma got to the house, the sun had set low in the sky. Thank God they had electricity and running water. It felt like home again. The door wasn't locked, but Ellie had told her that nobody bothered to lock them. It was a wonder that they didn't; a lot of them seemed pretty hostile. She guessed in a town like this, people didn't think twice about stealing. There wasn't any need, because they had everything they could want for handed to them.
She took off her shoes and laid down on the makeshift bed. Jemma was so tired and her feet hurt so much, she didn't want to bother finding a blanket to use. Her mind wandered to a story she once read when she was younger.
It was about two teenage boys, who both had run away from home, because one of them had killed a popular guy who had been harassing them. It was supposed to be some legendary book, about teen angst and growing up, but as Jemma read, the terms 'soc' and 'greaser' were too confusing and so she skipped to the end. She wasn't impressed, but maybe back then people didn't have very many things to worry about.
She was so caught in thinking about the past that she fell asleep in a few minutes. She dreamed that she was driving down a long, straight road. It was in the middle of a desert, and the sun was beginning to set. She was driving a red convertible Jaguar, with the top down. She drove hard and fast, and her hair whipped around in the wind. Jemma turned her head to the backseat and saw Ellie looking back at her. She felt a flutter in her stomach, and Jemma looked down. She wasn't pregnant anymore.
She was free.
And then she woke up.
...
Joel couldn't fall asleep that night. He sat on the front porch to watch the stars, and he started to think about the future. What was he going to do when Jemma had her baby? He hoped that Ellie wouldn't get too attached. How was she going to react when Jemma left town? Joel knew he wouldn't let himself get too involved in her life. Something compelled him to ask Jemma to stay with them. Could a God still exist and this was his salvation? Somehow he could redeem his damned soul by helping this woman out?
He thought about all the people he had hurt. All the men that he killed. Was Joel's own life worth all those deaths? He had written himself off a long time ago, long before he and Tommy were hunters.
And Sarah. He let her die in his arms. He-
He could never forgive himself for that. Only God forgives, and God would never forgive Joel for letting her die.
The sun began to rise before he could get his mind off all of the things he had done. He heard Ellie and Jemma talking.
Jemma had a sweet voice, high and smooth, yet it was tangled with something he didn't quite recognize. Boredom, almost, but something deeper than that. He could listen to it all day. Jemma was, beautiful, he could say. It was strange to him, how it was unmarred by the world they lived in. Her skin was unblemished, her her eyes still bright. She looked completely out of place. She had a thickness in her thighs, something that he hadn't seen in years. And her-
No. He couldn't think like that.
...
The two were in the kitchen, making oatmeal.
"Why didn't the bike cross the road?" Jemma asked, eyes wide.
"Um, there was nobody to ride it?" Ellie answered.
"Guess again."
"It had a flat tire?"
"Close!"
"It was too tire-d," Joel answered, rolling his eyes. Ellie laughed. "That's pretty good, but I have books full of a lot more. Want to see?"
"Sure."
Jemma faced Joel. She was wearing the dress from the night before, and it was slightly wrinkled. He noticed that she had a few freckles going up her arms, much like the way stars look in the sky.
She was kind of glaring at him, but she wouldn't say anything.
Joel sat down at the table. It was dark cherry stained. Ellie had actually picked it out, only because it had four matching chairs. Joel didn't think they needed that many, but now he was beginning to reconsider.
"So, erm, when are ya due?"
Jemma went back to stirring the sludge. "About two weeks."
""Where's the father? Dead?"
He could see her stiffen and her head dropped a little. "I hope so."
"Sorry." He wanted to know more, but he wouldn't prod.
The three ate their oatmeal at the table, which had been recently cleaned by Jemma. Ellie told her jokes, much to the others dismay, but Joel didn't mind. He liked Ellie. He wanted to see her happy. Coming here was a fresh start for the both of them. They could settle down a live a normal life. But, he had to screw it up by bringing Jemma around. He hoped it wouldn't ruin the life he made for them.
Joel and Tommy went hunting for the day, and Ellie left for 'school,' so Jemma had the house to herself.
...
She wanted to clean the place up, and make it nice.
She started in the living room, which was decorated with comic books and maps of other areas. Jemma wondered how they would stand to live that way, with everything piled up like that. She figured they probably didn't spend that much time home, and Joel didn't particularly look like the cleaning type.
One map she found was of the Boston area. Jemma wondered if that's where they came from. Neither Ellie or Joel talked about their pasts much. The map was riddled with names and tallies, some of the names crossed out with red marker, others were circled around with green pen.
She flipped it over. It had two names written on the back, Joel and Tess. Jemma assumed Tess was his girlfriend, or something of the like. The names had tallies underneath, like they were keeping score for a game. Joel's tallies extended far past Tess', and was written in several different pens and pencils.
Slowly, she moved through the rest of the first floor. She folded all of the spare clothes in her room, and left them in the hallway. She found a few hangers in the closet, and hung some of her clothes on them. She still had a bed made of cushions, but she'd figure something out eventually.
Jemma cleaned the walls and floors with some old vinegar and baking soda she found under the kitchen sink. She was amazed at how much dirt was all over the house. Even though she was used to gray carpet and peeling wallpaper, it still was unbelievable how filthy it was. Natural light tended to conceal grime. With the electricity coming from the power plant, the harsh fluorescent light hid very little.
The sun was becoming low in the sky when she finished with the first floor. It didn't resemble the house she had began with. She hoped that she could make Joel and Ellie happy. She wanted so desperately to please them, to pay them back for the generosity they had given her. Jemma was so tired, though, to the point where she could barely keep her eyes open.
She laid down in her room for a while. Ellie came home about an hour later.
...
"Holy shit, did you do this?" She could hear from the hall.
Ellie walked into Her room. Jemma didn't bother with getting up, she ached just from the thought of sitting, alone.
"I didn't want my shoes to get dirty," she joked.
Ellie sat on the floor beside her. "Thanks. I like it."
Jemma turned to her. "You're welcome, Ell. What'd you do today?"
"Boring shit. I don't get why I have to learn math when I'm worried about making it to the next day. It's fucking stupid."
The two talked for a while, sharing some laughs before Joel came home. Ellie ran off to heat up some leftovers, and Joel replaced her seat.
He sighed. "You know, you didn't have to do this. All of this. In your condition-"
"God, you make it sound like I have a disease."
"Don't feel and obligation to us. I don't expect nothing from ya."
Jemma put a hand over her eyes. "Okay. Just help me up."
Over dinner, Ellie talked excitedly about the prospect of sailing the seas. Both Jemma and Joel were silent throughout the whole dinner. She didn't notice. Ellie talked about books she had read, and photographs she had seen, and the theory that small islands might be free of infection.
As soon as they finished, Jemma started cleaning the dishes. Joel sat at the table and read a book.
"What're you reading?"
"Mmm."
"Sounds great."
Ellie dried the remaining dishes while Jemma drained the sink.
"Ellie, what are you doing tomorrow? I want to..." Jemma trailed off.
"What?"
Jemma groaned. "Hang on." She leaned her back against the refrigerator.
Joel looked up from his book. "Hey, what's going on?"
"I think, um, I think," she groaned again, holding her oversized belly. She slid down to the floor.
"I think I'm okay, I just, I just need to stay here for a second."
"Ellie, go get Maria." Joel said, gesturing to the door.
"Joel. It's fine, I'm going to be fine."
"Like hell you are."
"It's doesn't really hurt. I'm just freaking out because I might have my baby in a goddamned kitchen, you know what I mean?" She gave him a small smile.
"Okay."
"Can I hold your hand?"
"Yeah."
Joel listened to the sound of her jagged breaths as she had a death grip on his hand. His heart was beating so fast; he didn't know what to do. Her cheeks were flushed, and he was starting to worry more and more as each minute passed.
Finally, he heard Ellie yelling.
"Joel, we're here!"
"In the kitchen!" Jemma was holding out, but he was beginning to question himself.
"You know, Joel, it's getting late, and-" Maria stopped. "Oh, shit."
if you got this far, thanks for reading! Please leave a review or something, I'd love to hear your opinion, good or bad! :)