Notes: Episode 125, "A Bright Shooting Star! Saturn, and the Messiah". Or, "The one where Usagi faces Pharaoh 90".

Episode 125

Makoto

I don't know how we survived. Stubbornness, maybe. Pretty sure that's how I'm still here. We're tough to kill, you know, and I say that as someone who's died a bit. After Usagi called us, needing us, and we knew she was still out there fighting for us and the whole world, well damn, how can you NOT survive? Tiny little Usagi doing all that … Every single day she amazes me.

We felt her go for a bit there. I did, anyway, I'm guessing the others too. We haven't really talked about it yet. But Usagi was just GONE and it was the most terrifying thing I've ever felt in my entire life. Even worse than mom and dad, and trust me, that's saying something.

Imagine being in an open field, the sun shining on your face, warming you all over. Crawling inside and warming you there too, filling up all your empty spaces. Yeah, filling your empty spaces. That's Usagi. Then she was just gone. I couldn't feel her anymore. Worse, I wasn't sure if she could still feel ME. What if she was out there, somewhere, alone, and thought I'd abandoned her?

Hell, that right there is enough to get these legs moving. You think a few daimon are gonna keep me from making sure Usagi knows I'm there for her? Please. A thousand Death Busters couldn't make enough monsters to keep me away from her.

That was priority one. Figure out how to make my stupid body listen to me, and get to Usagi. But of course, she found me first. We didn't plummet from the sky when the wind quit, and I don't know how but I know it was her.

Usagi called us all to her, though I don't think she realized it. I can tell I'm messed up. Bones are crunching. That's bad. But I'm standing, and that's enough for now. My heart leapt to see the others, even if they look as shitty as I feel. Pretty glad all the windows are busted so I can't see for sure. Hey, however I look, it's not like … that.

She's so lost. I can barely stand to look in her eyes. How do you fight that? Tell me what to punch. Someone tell me what ass I kick to give Usagi her light back.

We just don't know yet. We will though. Minako will dig it up, and Rei'll feel it out, and Ami will be the giant brain to put it all together, and then I'll go shove lightning down its throat and fix this mess.

We'll fix this, Usagi.

I promise.

... ... ...

Ami

We're not dead. I know that for a certainty.

There's no trace of daimon. The energy emanating from Mugen Academy has dissipated. Were it not for my own experiences, and the evidence surrounding me of course, I would say this was a perfectly normal day, if perhaps unseasonably warm.

This is, unfortunately, as far as my helpful input extends.

We are nearly to Mamoru's apartment. Usagi is walking unassisted now, which is a great relief, for our benefit as well as hers. We are in serious need of medical attention. Each of us would have supported her for miles, I know. Across all of Japan if necessary. But the pain is rather … unpleasant, and I'm terribly grateful Mamoru's apartment is not across Japan.

I'm unconvinced that Usagi recognizes where we're going, but she seems content to follow for the moment.

I wish I felt content about anything.

On our third rest stop I was able to summon my computer. The relief I felt was echoed in the faces of my friends, but it soon vanished. Cracked ribs, a bruised hand, countless lesions. Painful to be sure, but nothing which could explain this near catatonia.

Something terrible has happened today. The world didn't end and we are alive. These are the only two things I know for a fact. They are the only two facts that should matter. And yet still something terrible has happened and I don't understand what.

We found Usagi over an hour ago, and I still haven't seen her smile.

I could tell you to the minute exactly how long I have known Usagi. In all those minutes, I have never seen an hour pass without her smile. Not in our most intense study sessions. Not in the midst of our hardest battles.

I don't know how to answer this without your help, Usagi.

The world didn't end and we are alive. You did it. Please come back to us so I can show you.

... ... ...

Minako

I'm going to get this girl to laugh again if it kills me.

I'd rather it not kill me. I mean I've been through a lot today with the specific intention of NOT being killed, and that would be a pretty huge waste of time.

But, you know, you do what you have to.

And I have to get Usagi out of this.

Mamoru's pretty much beside himself. He's been talking to her for a while now (right because we didn't try that), but she's still not responding. He's got Chibi-Usa to worry about too, and—

Oh yeah! Chibi-Usa's all right now! Probably. She's still asleep, but apparently Saturn stopped by with her heart crystal, which I thought was pretty nice of her to do on her way to destroying the world.

If we ever actually find Saturn, I'll have to thank her. I really didn't want to have to try to explain Usagi AND Chibi-Usa to the Tsukinos.

Kinda hoping I won't have to explain either.

I need to get Ami scanning for Hotaru. She has to be somewhere and I'd kind of like an answer to that question before anyone asks it.

Time for another joke!

Well she didn't laugh, but I DID get a glare out of Mamoru and Rei. Oh my god they look like twins. Like two angry little baby twins. You need to see this, Usagi, come on. They make me want to squeeze their cheeks, they're so ridiculous.

Okay so squeezing Rei's cheek didn't snap Usagi out of it either, but we've gotta be getting through. I mean Rei's shrieking ALONE must've pierced through a good seven or eight layers.

I really need you to do something that isn't stare straight ahead, Usagi. You really don't know how much I need that right now.

Plus the Outers. I think I felt them for a few seconds there. Uranus and Neptune anyway. We need to know what happened to them. Find them and maybe we find Saturn? I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing. Oh well, find them first, deal with it second. As soon as we can go more than twenty steps without needing a break, we'll get out there and start looking.

Hey, knock knock, Usagi.

Come on, Usagi. Knock knock.

Fine then. Knock knock, Mamoru.

Oh my god, he is so bad at jokes! How are you bad at a knock knock joke when you're not even the one telling the knock knock joke? How did he DO that? How can you possibly—

She laughed.

She laughed!

Usagi's laughing and we're all crying.

Still a win. Still a great big bloody win.

Best knock knock joke of all time.

... ... ...

Rei

I can't leave her.

I'm not sure how long they'll let me put it off though. Ami keeps trying to convince me to let her look at my injuries, and I really don't want to snap at her but I'm not sure I can stop myself next time. We don't want Usagi to see how hurt we all are right now, and I can't leave her.

I left her for ten minutes and look what happened.

After the initial excitement, we thought it would be best to give her some peace. We set her up in Mamoru's tiny spare room. He's with Chibi-Usa now. She still hasn't woken up, and Usagi would want him to be there for her.

Besides, I'm not going anywhere.

She still hasn't said anything.

Dammit Usagi, what did you DO?

Dammit, Usagi. What can *I* do?

I've asked her to tell me what happened. She can only look at me. The pain in her eyes. Gods.

And all I can do is sit here.

All I could do was watch them take her.

All I could do is kneel and be overrun.

It's not good enough.

I try the only thing I have left. I talk to her. I tell her the things she'd want to hear, the true things, here, in this quiet room with just the two of us. I tell her how scared I was. I tell her how we thought of her as we tried our best to protect everyone. I tell her how it felt, to fail.

I tell her how proud of her I am.

I tell her everything I can think to tell her. She squeezes my hand, and I keep talking.

When I'm through talking, she hugs me. I hadn't realized how terrified I was that I'd never feel that again, and I hug her back.

When Ami sticks her head into the room, we're still clinging to each other. Usagi's crying now, crying like I've never heard her cry before, and it's possible I'm crying too. Ami retreats without a word.

We can fix me later.

I'm not leaving her.

... ... ...

Usagi

I want to.

I can't.

I'm sorry.