Kayla had just entered the apartment with Stephanie in her arms when the phone began ringing. Quickly placing Stephanie in the playpen, Kayla hurried to the phone.
"Hello," she said, slightly breathless.
"Kayla Johnson?" the voice on the other end asked.
"Yes," Kayla said, wondering who was calling.
"This is Shirley Abrams from the State Board of Medicine. I'm calling about the appeal paperwork we received. There is a meeting of the State Board next Thursday, and the Board has agreed to place your appeal on the agenda."
"Next Thursday?" Kayla was surprised.
"I know this is short notice, but the Board will not meet again for another month," Ms. Abrams said. "We can move it to that next meeting if you would like to wait."
"No," Kayla said quickly. "I definitely do not want to wait. What time should I be there for the meeting?"
"Due to the last-minute nature of it, your hearing has been placed at the end of the agenda, so it will probably take place at 4:30 p.m," Ms. Abrams explained. "However, before the hearing begins, at 10 a.m., our staff members typically meet with the subjects of any appeals, explain the process, and answer any questions you might have."
Kayla thought that over. If she had to be at the Board's offices at 10 a.m., it meant flying to the capitol the night before. But if that is what it took, so be it.
Ms. Abrams continued. "Be prepared to give your statement to the Board. You should be aware that no other witnesses will be allowed to give testimony and the hearing is closed to any supporters you might have. The Board has all of the applicable documentation, including written statements, and will decide the appeal upon that record."
Kayla sighed. She had hoped that perhaps Bo and Carly would be able to testify on her behalf, but she would have to take what she could get. "That's fine," Kayla said. "I'll be there Thursday morning."
"Very well," Ms. Abrams said. "Goodbye, Mrs. Johnson."
"Goodbye," Kayla replied, hanging up the phone.
As she hung up the phone, Kayla felt both hope and dread. All she wanted to do was get this over with and resume her career, but she also knew that if the state board did not reinstate her, she had no further options to pursue. At least Steve will be there, she thought silently. Suddenly it hit her. Steve's interview for the warehouse job was scheduled for Thursday.
Kayla knew that Steve would skip the interview and go with her to the capitol if she asked. Actually, knowing Steve, he would go even if she did not ask him. For a moment, Kayla contemplated letting him skip the interview. They could spend a couple of days away, just the two of them, and it would be so good to have him there with her, even if he could not attend the hearing. But she also knew she was being selfish. The warehouse job might be only temporary, but she could tell that it meant a lot to Steve to work again. A little voice in her head also told her that if Steve did not get the warehouse job, he might push to return to the Salem PD.
As Kayla was thinking about what to do, she heard Steve's key in the lock. She looked up as he entered the apartment.
"Hey, Sweetness," he said with a smile.
"Hi." Kayla walked over and gave him a kiss. She took his hand and led him to the couch. "We need to talk about something."
"What's wrong?" Steve asked.
"Nothing's wrong," Kayla said. "I just got a call from the state hospital board. They are willing to hear my appeal at the next meeting - on Thursday."
"That's great." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Steve stopped short. He must have realized what that meant.
Before he could say anything further, Kayla spoke. "I know that's the same day as your interview. I know that you promised to go with me, and I know you want to go with me. But I think you should stay and go to the interview. The woman from the Board said that nobody else was allowed in the hearing anyway."
"Maybe not," Steve said. "But I could still be there with you. It's more important than some little warehouse job."
"I know that finding some work is important to you," Kayla said. "I just think it's silly for you to miss this opportunity, so you can go spend hours waiting for me. You should stay. Besides, you hate waiting around."
Steve looked closely at Kayla for a long moment, then nodded. "All right, Sweetness. I'll stay. But if you change your mind, just tell me and I'll go with you."
Kayla smiled and reached for Steve's hand. As she did, her fingers brushed across Steve's wrist. He flinched slightly, as he often did.
This time, Steve seemed to notice it as well. He pulled his hand away and looked at his hand and wrist. He studied them for a minute. Then, in a soft voice, he asked, "That night when I . . . when I hit you . . . did you touch my wrist?"
Kayla thought back to how she had grabbed Steve's wrist and forearm just before he had struck out at her. She nodded her head. "Yes. You were having a nightmare and trying to get out of the bed. I grabbed you to stop you."
Steve closed his eye and took several deep breaths. Then he opened his eye and looked at Kayla. "If I'm ever having a nightmare or you see me having some kind of flashback, make sure you don't touch my wrists and arms."
"Okay," Kayla said. "Can you tell me why?"
Steve stood up and walked several feet away before responding. "Kim thinks that grabbing my wrists could be some kind of trigger. She says that I usually flex my hands and wrists like I'm struggling against a restraint when I go into a flashback."
"That's what you were doing when you had your nightmare," Kayla said. "I've seen the same thing in some of your other nightmares."
Steve nodded. "The thing is that I don't remember doing that at all." He looked at Kayla. "I know you've been getting out of bed when I have a nightmare, like we agreed. I just need you to promise not to get close to me if it ever looks like I'm out of it or not responding to you. I don't ever want to take the chance of hurting you again."
"All right," Kayla said. "But if I make that promise, will you please try to tell me what's going on with you?"
Steve did not respond. Kayla watched as he turned away slightly and began taking deep breaths. After a few moments, he turned back to her. "I'm not sure what you want to hear, Kayla. I know that they flew me out of the country and took me to several different places. After a couple of moves, they started injecting me with something that made me sick. I'm guessing it was the virus."
Kayla listened as Steve, in a halting manner, told her how he had gotten sick over and over again as the virus was perfected. As he spoke, he would pause occasionally, taking deep breaths before resuming again. This occurred more often when Steve began talking about the new substance he had been subjected to in Egypt. Something told Kayla that there was a lot that Steve was not yet telling her, but this time it did not feel like he was shutting her out. She began to realize that there might be a lot that he simply was not yet able to face.
When Steve finished speaking, Kayla looked at him, the tears falling softly down her cheeks. "Are you okay," she asked softly.
Steve nodded, but did not look at her. "Now you know how your husband was reduced to the role of lab rat," he said.
Kayla heard the bitterness in his voice, but she also heard something else - shame. She rose from the couch and walked over to him. Reaching up, she gently turned his chin until he faced her. "What happened to you was not your fault," she said forcefully. "You know that, right?"
Steve did not respond. Kayla looked in his eye and saw the shame she had heard in his voice reflected there. For the first time since he had returned, Kayla finally understood at least part of why it had been so hard for Steve to talk to her about what had happened to him. She silently chastised herself for not seeing it sooner. Steve was a proud and strong man. Yet he had been unable to prevent Lawrence from taking Steve from his family, from holding him prisoner, and from subjecting him to whatever form of experimentation Lawrence's sick-and-twisted mind devised.
Kayla's heart broke for her husband. She knew there was nothing she could do to take his pain and shame away. All she could try to do is make sure he knew that she loved him and was proud of him.
"Thank you for sharing that with me," Kayla said, wiping the tears from her face. "I know it was hard for you. And no matter what you may believe, I know that what happened was not your fault, and I know how strong you are simply because you survived and came home to me."
Steve still did not speak, but Kayla saw a tear fall from his eye. She reached for his hand and slowly led him back to the couch. They sat down together, but still remained silent. Kayla saw Steve look over to where Stephanie was happily playing, oblivious to the tumultuous emotions her parents were feeling.
Then in a raw and choking voice, he said, "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I wasn't stronger. I'm sorry . . . " Steve's words stopped as his sobs took over.
"Shh," Kayla said, pulling him to her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. It wasn't your fault." Kayla's own voice was choked with tears.
Steve lifted his head and Kayla felt weak from the pain she saw in his face. She gently wiped the tears from his cheek. She watched as the muscles in his cheek worked up and down as if he were trying to speak but could not find the words. She gently placed her fingers on his lips. "It's okay, Steve," she said softly. "It's all going to be okay."
He nodded slightly, but the tears were still falling from his eye. Pulling him back to her, Kayla held him close while he cried, whispering soft words of comfort and love. She knew that today had been an important step, but she also knew that it was only part of the difficult road Steve was traveling. She only hoped he would let her help him the rest of the way.