Now they had all gone peace settled once more in the flat, and the two boys and Hunith settled down sitting quietly just enjoying each other's company until Mithian came to help Merlin get ready to go to bed.

The following weeks soon slipped into a routine with Merlin attending the hospital to see the physios and psychiatrist once a week and his friends visiting when they could. Dr Kilgarrah did a lot of work with him on his aversion to touch but warned Arthur that it was going to be a long process.

During Merlin's sessions with Dr Kilgarrah they identified why Merlin hated his back being touched so much. Obviously it was about the rapes- but it was more than just that. Merlin opened up and told Dr Kilgarrah that when Cendred raped Merlin he always stroked Merlin's back before each rape saying he liked the whiteness of his skin. Then afterwards he would scratch and dug his fingernails into Merlin's back, saying that Merlin hadn't shown appreciation of his, Cendrid's, efforts in servicing him. Cendred kept his nails long enough for that just that purpose. In fact Merlin's back still showed slight scarring to his back from these attacks. Merlin had come to associate the touching of his back with the rape that would follow.

Valiant however always held Merlin's hips hard even after Merlin had developed sores on the areas, adding his own brand of torture to the already horrifying ordeal.

It helped Arthur understand why Merlin hated his back touched, but he was at a loss to know how to counter such actions. Dr Kilgarrah suggested Arthur carry on as he was and time might help. Although he suspected that, due to the length of time the abuse had gone on for, Merlin might always have difficulty with these areas being touched.

Hunith went back to Wales after a month promising to visit again soon but she thought the two men needed sometime alone and to get into some sort of a routine.

One afternoon as Merlin was sat with Arthur, looking out across the city Merlin turned to Arthur.

"It was imagining this view that helped keep me sane when I was in that place… you know?"

Arthur looked at Merlin

"I'm glad it helped, I know you love it"

"The other thing I thought about was green fields and woods as far as the eye could see. In a way that was better, this view has a lot of concrete in it" Merlin sounded very sad.

"Would you like to live in the countryside? We could think about moving, if you like." In truth, Arthur had already been thinking of finding somewhere that Merlin could get outside without going down in a lift fifteen floors. He knew the lift freaked Merlin. The fact was he had been getting claustrophobic since his release which was hardly surprising.

"That would be nice. I miss all the green. When I lived with Mum we were had countryside on our doorstep. Ealdor is only a small town and we used to play out in the wilds a lot as kids, me, Gwaine and Will"

Merlin's voice cracked it was the first time he had mentioned Will since asking where he was in hospital.

"I miss him" he started to cry.

Arthur put his arms around Merlin and pulled him into a hug.

"I know you do, love."

"It was their fault; he got drunk because of me didn't he? It's not fair they killed him and they won't have to pay for it" Tears ran down his face.

Arthur didn't say anything. What could be say? He only hoped Merlin never realised it happened on this birthday.

After a few minutes Arthur pushed Merlin away so he could look into his eyes.

"He wouldn't have wanted you to think that way, you know"

"Oh yes he would. He would have wanted then punished" Merlin shook his head. "I hope they rot in hell."

It was the first time Arthur had ever heard Merlin sound so bitter about anything, ever. He was surprised at first but had to agree no punishment would be enough for people who did such evil things as they had.

He pulled Merlin back into his arms and stroked his fingers through Merlin's hair to help calm him. After awhile he realised Merlin had stopped crying and had fallen asleep.

He started to think more seriously about moving somewhere better for Merlin. After all, it would be nice for him to have an outside space.

Mithian heated up one of Gwen's frozen meals and carefully woke Merlin up. They sat together and ate their meal. Mithian had become a good friend of them both and they enjoyed her company, so they all sat chatting until Gwaine arrived. Gwaine had been visiting most days and Merlin teased his friend saying he wanted to see Mithian more than him. Gwaine denied this but had taken Mithian out on a couple of dates at the weekends.

Both Merlin and Arthur were surprised that the couple got on so well but Gwaine had changed a lot in the past two and a half years. They were both happy that he seemed to be settling down. Gwaine had been helping Merlin to regain some of his muscle bulk with gentle exercises. They didn't do any on his bad leg or his left wrist yet but Merlin was beginning to feel stronger, although he still had a long way to go. He was still struggling to regain weight, but with the overnight feeds he was slowly getting there and his face and body were beginning to fill out. Gwaine stopped for an hour before leaving, he talked all sorts' nonsense but it made Merlin chuckle.

Merlin normally went to bed at about nine and Arthur usually went with him as he could lay and help calm Merlin so he fell asleep. Then he would read a book for until eleven before going to sleep himself. They had been leaving a bedside light on as it seemed to help Merlin settle. Merlin had the occasional nightmare but they seemed to be decreasing in number although Doctor Kilgarrah warned Arthur that they might continue for many years and Merlin had a long way to go.

In the early hours of one morning Arthur woke to hear Merlin crying out in his sleep. As he normally did he started talking gently to Merlin, and put his hand on Merlin's cheek, an area which normally calmed Merlin without frightening him more.

This time it didn't work and Merlin started to scream, kicking and punching Arthur. Arthur sat up and continued to try to calm the younger man. Mithian came in and tried to help but Merlin was getting more and more upset. So she left to get a sedative, in the mean time Geriant (one of the duty bodyguards) came into the penthouse to see if he could help and held Merlin still so Mithian could inject Merlin safely. He then let him go as soon as he could so not to frighten him even more. Arthur put a pillow between himself and the flying arms and leg to try to stop Merlin hurting either of them.