The web of fate has been taken down, tossed aside an' re-spun. How else could my current situation be explained? It's as though my life was supposed to go one way, only to jerk in the wrong direction. Maybe I just hit a tangle in the web. Or maybe the spider is on it's way to snatch me up.

Life is different now. There are no more graduations. Marriages are unheard of an' the prospect of bearin' a child's frowned upon. In this world, those milestones don't exist. They're extinct, spoken of in the fashion of old folklore from a time long ago. Some survivors are old enough to have experienced most, if not all. Others were too young to know what any of it meant. Then there were those of us caught in the middle. We grew up watchin' our loved ones experience such beautiful moments in life. The promise of what was to be expected hung in the air, pregnant with hope. Time stopped when the world changed. Hopes were only memories an' promises were broken.

In a perfect world, I woulda gotten married. Maybe to Jimmy, maybe someone else. Daddy woulda locked arms with me, silent tears fallin', as he handed me off to my husband. The vows woulda been heartfelt an' beautiful. I envision a teary-eyed Maggie, glowin' in her bridesmaid dress an' pride. My mother woulda cried softly into her old lace handkerchief, watchin' her baby leave the nest. My brother'd hold her close an' smile up at me.

I woulda had two children, a boy an' a girl. We'd live in an adorable farmhouse on an old country road. It'd have a tire swing in the front yard an' a doghouse in the back. Family meals would be intimate, an' every Sunday an' holiday we'd go to Daddy's.

But fate is a mysterious thing. It never takes hopes an' dreams into account. You just sit back an' watch where it leads you. It's like the whole world is in on the same movie. The story of our lives now are no longer expected, well-planned scripts. Everyday you wake up is a cold read an' you can act in the moment an' you can move along with the flow, but you best not stumble across the lines. It's a one shot audition for the roll of livin'. An' you do your best to make the cut, not to be cut.

I don't normally have such a hardened outlook on life, blame it on the company I currently keep. I know I have my weaknesses. I long for the life that was stolen from me, especially now. Shawn an' my mother are gone. Jimmy, too. Maggie is out there somewhere, but I can't begin to imagine how far off she is or who she's with. I can only pray she's safe. An' Daddy... I stop there. I ain't gonna cry today. We all got jobs to do an' mine is to survive.

Here I sit across from Daryl, sinkin' my teeth into charred snake. He's especially silent today. Part of me thinks it has to do with whatever that fit was about in his sleep this mornin'. But my gut tells me there's more. Sometimes I think he's buried deep back in hisself, more than ever before. He doesn't speak to me much. Not since the prison fell. I noticed he hardly looks up anymore, either, least of all to look me in the eyes. I peek over at him. His shaggy brown hair falls in his face, blue eyes set to the snake in his hand. I wanna say somethin', anything. I don't want to be shut out from him. Until we find the rest of our group, we're all each other's got. How can I prove to him that I'm still his family? I still care about him an' I don't want him to push me away. I won't let him push me away. I need Daryl, an' I know he needs me.

I tear my eyes away from him, my heart splinterin' at the thought of how much he wants to let go an' carry on alone. Tears are buildin' up an' I need to focus on somethin' else, anything else. I can't cry. I decide to study our surroundin's. We're covered by the biggest trees I ever seen. Leaves're startin' to fall. Must be early autumn. It's all dirt on the ground, no grass. The woods around us are eerie. Silently closin' in on all sides, just like the thoughts that creep into the crevices of your mind when you only want to sleep. It's too much to take at once. So much for tryin' to distract myself. Where did the world go wrong? How did terrible things keep happenin' to good people?

Good people. Daryl wouldn't appreciate me labelin' him that way. He puts on such a tough exterior. But I know better. I've seen his guard fall, even if only slightly. He's a self-proclaimed outsider. An' nobody penetrates his wall. I don't think he realizes that he's a silent guardian. The wings on his vest suit him: A protective angel from God above, one that's broken an' heavily guardin' a heart he doesn't even believes exists. But why build a fortress for an empty shell? No. I know better. There's a warm heart deep down, he just doesn't open it up enough to remember it's there.

Sittin' on the cold ground, politely chewin' on the food he's given me, I wonder how many milestones Daryl's met. Maybe one day he'll tell me. The thought causes me to think back on the things in life I'll never know. I realize that there's one right of passage this new world can hardly deprive me of. It's a matter of findin' it, an' then indulgin'. Who knows? Maybe fate will finally be on my side.

"I need a drink." Daryl doesn't say a word, just tosses over the water bottle we've been sharin'. He doesn't understand.

"No. I mean a real drink...as in alcohol."