Hey y'all! Thank you for reading my story. I know I sound like a broken record asking you to please review it's just because getting feedback is what moves us to write and when we don't get it it's hard to move forward. :( Anyway, I need to thank so many people for this chapter and for the support! Breanna for ideas! Kim for pointers that you give like a good mama! Whitney for the outfit and funny hair line at the end of the chapter! Sharon for your kind words! Augus lots of love to you! I love you all so much!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters!
This chapter and the next one go together this one was just too long to be one!
The Goodbye to the House Part 1:
Rayna, Tandy, and Juliette ate together while talking about their new found business bond. Rayna told her she was officially back with Deacon and explained what had happened and where they were going with their lives. Juliette was glad to hear they were together but knew that Rayna would be so heartbroken if Deacon fell off the wagon again so she told Rayna to support him with his program but to let him do it by himself. Rayna was surprised that Juliette had matured this much and reassured her that Deacon was doing everything by himself and didn't need her to push him to go to the meetings anymore. It was six when Juliette left and Rayna realized she had to meet Deacon at the house in two hours.
"Look at the time! I need to get ready!" Tandy asked, "why?" Rayna smiled, "I'm meeting Deacon at the house in two hours." Tandy smiled back, "sounds fun! Do you want me to help you pick out what to wear?" Rayna shrugged, "I think he cares about what's under my clothes." Tandy's mouth fell open, "I don't need images of you two like that in my head!" Rayna smiled and got up to go upstairs, "you asked; but yes I want you to help me."
They walked into the walk in closet and Tandy asked, "pants, skirt or dress?" "Skirt!" Tandy walked to Rayna's skirt selection and pulled out a short denim skirt that went to her mid thigh. Rayna slipped off her pants and pulled the skirt on. It wasn't too tight so she could move in it but it wasn't flowy either, it fit her just right and it was comfortable. "Everything you wear looks good on you! Why didn't I get those genes?" Rayna smiled, "not everything.." Tandy nodded, "yeah everything." Rayna smiled and kissed her sister's cheek. She walked to the back of her closet where there were some drawers. She opened one up and pulled out a square box. It was blue and small, only a neatly folded shirt could fit in there, and that's exactly what the box held. Rayna opened it and pulled out a blue and white flannel shirt that wasn't hers. Tandy asked, "is that his?" Rayna nodded, "I took it from him one night and never gave it back." Tandy smiled and pulled out a blue tank top and handed it to Rayna. Rayna slipped it on and then put Deacon's shirt on. It was big on her so she rolled up the sleeves so that they were right under her elbows and then she tied up the bottom of the shirt in a knot so that it wasn't just hanging loosely. She left the buttons undone because the knot was holding the shirt together. Tandy said, "that's so cute!" Rayna smiled and walked to where her cowgirl boots were and she picked out dirty white ones with blue definitions, they matched her shirt perfectly. She twirled around for Tandy, "good?" Tandy smiled, "no, amazing!"
They walked out of the closet and Tandy pointed to the chair in front of Rayna's vanity mirror, "sit!" Rayna did as told. Her hair had natural, perfect curls but when she curled them a bit more they looked even better. Tandy plugged the curling iron in and while they waited for it to heat up she looked through Rayna's make up. "He doesn't like when I wear a lot of make up." Rayna pointed out. Tandy smiled, "I know babe, but just a little is ok. He is amazing you know that?" Rayna smiled her heart filling up with the thought of Deacon, "I'm a lucky girl." Tandy smiled at her sister, "yeah you really are." She looked back at her sister's make up. She knew that Rayna seldom wore eyeshadow so she skipped that. She took out mascara and applied it on her sister. Then she took some light light brown blush and put it on her cheek bones, it was barely visible. She looked at the lipsticks next and saw a strawberry flavored one that was light pink, she picked it and applied that on Rayna too. Rayna smiled, "thanks babe, this feels like old times." Tandy smiled, "it does! And it's with the same guy too!" Rayna giggled and Tandy joined her. The curling iron was warm enough so Tandy took it and curled Rayna's natural curls a bit more. Then she reapplied her lipstick for her. When she was done Rayna stood up and hugged her sister, "I don't know what I'de do without you sis. Thank you." Tandy smiled, getting teary eyed, "I don't know what I would do without YOU." Before they could start crying they pulled back and smiled at each other. "Go have fun babe!" Rayna smiled and before she walked out the door she said, "thank you for helping me look this beautiful." "It was my pleasure!"
As Rayna drove down the driveway that led to the house she noticed that the house looked like it was glowing. As she drove closer she saw Deacon lighting the last candle in the row of candles that he had set up along the front porch. The candles led to the door. When he saw her car pull up he stood up and walked to the steps of the porch. Rayna felt like she was about to cry, she felt so lucky to call him hers. When she got out of the car Deacon saw what she was wearing and inhaled sharply. Her legs looked longer than usual in that short skirt and when he saw what shirt she was wearing he chuckled. Rayna walked up to him and didn't say a word, she just stood on her toes and kissed him running her hand through his hair. Deacon tasted the sweet strawberry taste from her lipstick and he skimmed his tongue along her lips before pulling back. They grinned at each other. He said, "you look gorgeous; but I don't think this shirt is yours." Rayna smiled, "it was mine since the first time I wore it." Deacon kissed her lips lightly, "this lipstick tastes good." She giggled against his lips. She pulled back and looked around her, "babe, you didn't have to do all this." "I wanted too, I want to say goodbye to the house properly." Rayna hugged him, she felt like she needed to be close to him for this and close was never close enough. She kept her body close to his but looked up into his eyes, "you're amazing, I am so lucky." Deacon's heart filled with her words, she was the only one he would have prepared this for. "I love you," he told her as he leaned down to kiss her. She smiled, "I love you too."
He took her hand and led her inside. The fire was lit in the living room giving the room a soft glow. Rayna walked over to the kitchen, Deacon right behind her. She started laughing and he asked, "what?" "Remember the time when I tried to teach you how to make my favorite cookies?" Deacon laughed at the memory, "yeah and then a week later I tried to make them for you as a surprise but ended up burning all of them." Rayna added, "I came home and you were changing into house clothes and the cookies were on the counter." Deacon continued, "yeah and you kept making fun of me for it for the next few months after that." Rayna laughed, "it was funny because we made them together a week before and you managed to do it fine. I was trying really hard not to laugh when you walked in." "Yeah, that didn't last long." Rayna smiled and ran her hand over the counter, "it's okay you made up for it when you pushed the cookies to the floor and put me on the counter instead." Deacon chuckled and ran his hand on her back as he kissed her temple, "yeah, it was a good night." Rayna smiled and nodded, "mhm, it was." Deacon said, "I really want those cookies now." Rayna smiled sadly, "I never really made them after we broke up." Deacon saw a flash of melancholy in her eyes, "why not?" Rayna shrugged, "because I didn't need another reminder that you weren't there anymore and we shared those cookies together so many times." Deacon gave her a half smile, understanding completely, "do you think you could make them again?" Rayna nodded, "mhm." Deacon kissed her, "good." He kept kissing her and she lost herself in the kiss. He moved so that he was standing in front of her trapping her between the counter and himself. She wrapped her hands around his neck and he rested his hands on either side of her. She realized that if she didn't stop kissing him now she wouldn't be able to stop herself in about five seconds; so she moved her hands to his chest and pushed him back lightly, "uh-uh not yet." Deacon moved away from her and she shivered from the lack of warmth.
He had brought a tea kettle with him and had already heated the water so they got tea and walked into the living room where it was warmer. They sat on the couch and Rayna moved as close to him as possible. They looked at the fire, how the flames went up, and how they reflected their relationship. Their relationship was an ever-growing flame that had never been extinguished, just tamed. The fire had cooled down when she was married but they both felt the love brooding inside of them. Now there were no more obstacles but their fire could either get red hot or ice cold. However, the flame had been ignited again and every kiss and touch threw gasoline on the flame, making it wilder and hard to stop. Rayna draped her legs over Deacon's thighs and put the mug on the coffee table. She rapped her hands around his neck and kissed his jaw softly, the stubble raking her lips. He felt her warm breath on his face and leaned his face towards her mouth. She smiled and continued to kiss him softly. Her long legs were draped over him and her skirt had risen up, it took everything he had not to lay her down and love her. Instead he reached over to her boots and pulled them off for her, his fingers skimming her legs lightly. She moved her kisses to his neck and he ran his hands over her legs. She whispered, "this is where you proposed." He moved away from her so that he could look at her. She knew he didn't remember and that killed her. She was feeling emotional and he could see it in her cloudy eyes. "I'm so sorry babe," he whispered. She shrugged and looked down, closing her eyes. He didn't know what to do, she was clearly hurting so he asked carefully and quietly, "do you want to tell me about it?" Rayna let out the breath she'd been holding and a tear ran down her cheek, and her eyes didn't meet his. "You called me and asked me to come here." She glanced up but then looked away again. "So I came and sat right here," she ran her hand over the couch, "and you sat right there," she pointed to the table. He followed her movements and his eyes fell on her face where another tear ran down. He ran his hand on her cheek and looked at her with love and comfort in his eyes. She leaned into his touch and continued, "you pulled this ring out," she showed him her right hand and he used his other hand to play with the ring. Another tear escaped her eyes and she glanced up at him and said this slowly and quietly, "you told me that you wanted me to leave Teddy and that you loved me more than anything else in the world. Then you said, 'let's do this baby. Please, marry me' I smiled and gave you my hand." She sniffled and he just looked away, furrowing his eyebrows, hurting with her. She gave him a tiny sad smile, "you told me you loved me and I told you I loved you and you kissed me and pushed me back against the couch. We made love and my heart was so full of love." She glanced down again. He hated that he couldn't remember any of that and he realized that that was when Maddie had been conceived. Rayna didn't add anything and he couldn't talk just yet. He was trying to keep himself together so he slowly moved his hands away from her and lifted her legs up as he got up. He walked outside and towards the lake. Rayna hated that she couldn't bring the memories of that night back to him and it still hurt her to know that he never would. She knew that he hadn't gotten up to hurt her. She understood that she had to leave him alone with his thoughts and she knew that he would talk to her about it in a bit. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees as she cried softly. Deacon felt angry at himself. Angry that he couldn't remember, angry that he hurt her, angry at his addiction and at his weakness to poison. He walked up to a tree and punched it with the side of his fist so as not to hurt his knuckle. He rested his head against the tree and took steady breaths. He said, "damn you Deacon!" He started to cool down and felt regret and sadness wash over him. A tear rolled down his check and he let out a long breath.
Rayna slipped her shoes back on and walked outside after ten minutes of waiting. She found him looking out at the river and she knew he heard her but he didn't turn around. She knew he was ashamed. She walked up to his back, as close to him as possible, without touching him. She could see he was tense so she wrapped her arms around him slowly, hoping he wouldn't move away. He didn't but she felt all the muscles in his back tight agains her chest. She rested her head on his back and breathed in his smell, it comforted her. She tightened her hold on him and he crossed his arms over hers. She kissed his shoulder blade and felt him relax a little. She moved her kisses upwards onto his neck and to his ear. "Ray?" "Yeah?" "Please stop." Rayna pulled away. She thought: What the hell? He turned around to face her and they didn't touch at all. "You're mad," she said. Deacon had complete anger in his eyes. He looked away. "Yes, I'm mad! I just hurt you and then hurt myself with all that I have done. I just hurt the person I love over and over and over again and if it happens again I need you to not come back to me." Rayna furrowed her eyebrows almost ready to cry again. He just told her to give up on him, on them, if he ever hurt her again. "Stop it! Stop!" She said loudly. Deacon looked at her. She continued, "you're being irrational! This is supposed to be a night where we can leave the bad things behind not carry them with us!" He looked away from her again and she moved so that he was looking at her. "Kiss me," she said softly, she knew she had to calm him down somehow. "Deacon!" His hands went to her hair and formed fists around it, it hurt her a bit but she wouldn't stop him. He crashed his lips against hers roughly his tongue entering her mouth. She gasped but kissed him back with the same anger and forcefulness. He bit down on her bottom lip and she winced from the pain closing her eyes tightly. She took his top lip between her teeth and held it till he let go of hers. She wanted him to take his anger out with her through passion. Even though he was being rough and it hurt her a little she knew that this was better than him drinking. He pulled her hair back exposing her neck and she whimpered. He saw her exposed neck and desire filled him instantly. He kissed her roughy again and his hands went to her skirt; he lifted it up a bit so that she could wrap her legs around him as he picked her up. He pulled back from her now swollen lips and she breathed heavily as he walked towards the house. She bit down on his shoulder, letting some of her hurt out. The second he got inside he pressed her against the nearest wall and his body crashed on hers. She groaned. He was upset that he was treating her this roughly but she had given him permission to. He ground his hips against her and she moaned. He kissed her urgently and she kissed him back. She unwrapped her legs so she could stand and unbuckled his belt and undid the button to his jeans and slid down the zipper. His pants fell to the floor and he undid her skirt and it fell to the floor too. They were still kissing hard as they slipped off the other's boxers and panties. He lifted her up and buried himself in her in a quick motion. She pulled back from his mouth and groaned loudly, "oh Deacon!" He stopped moving and relaxed for a second. Then he opened the knot on her shirt and slipped it off and she unbuttoned his at the same time. He slipped off her tank top too and unhooked her bra letting it fall. This took about thirty seconds and then he pressed himself against her and they both groaned as he moved quickly. Her nails dug into his lower back and he tangled his in her hair. Their lips crashed again and their releases came quickly.
They were both out of breath and Deacon carried her to the couch because he needed to sit down. He sat her down and before he sat down he grabbed a blanket he had bought. Rayna moved from the couch, grabbing some pillows and laid down on the floor. Deacon joined her and put the blanket over them. They were both catching their breaths and Rayna turned on get side facing Deacon. He looked so good to her, so alluring. She just wanted him to smile at her so that she knew he wasn't mad and so that she could see her favorite dimples. Deacon turned to face her. They weren't touching at all and neither knew what to say. Deacon took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, "I'm really sorry babe, I don't want you to give up on us, ever. I promise to work on our relationship everyday. I know there will be lots of fights and lots of bumpy roads but I want to have those with you too. I won't run away from the problems and you have to promise me that too. There is no point in this if we run away." Rayna's eyes softened at his words, "I promise I won't run. I just want you to talk to me about what you're feeling. I need you in my life, I do and I need you to talk to me. It scares me when you keep things inside." Deacon moved his hand to her face and caressed it softly before kissing her with the same tenderness. "I'm sorry I walked out I just hate myself for not remembering that night. It hurts me as much as it hurts you." Rayna gave him a small reassuring smile and entwined her legs with his. "We can form new memories now. I know we won't forget about the bad times but I just want to move on. I want to move on with you, not by myself." Deacon kissed her softly again. "Me too. I want to be a family Ray, with Maddie and Daphne in this house." Rayna's eyes glistened with the glow from the fire and she smiled at him, a true smile. "I love you so much," she whispered as she rapped her arms around him and moved her lips to his. "I love you too darlin'," he said against her lips. Rayna kissed him again and then pulled back. He was smiling at her and her whole body was relishing in it. She grinned back and Deacon thought once again about how beautiful and perfect she was. "I'm sorry I was so rough earlier." Rayna was still grinning, "it's okay once in a while. But I think you should be careful with my hair. You know it's insured more than your car." Deacon laughed, "hmm I don't doubt it babe." She grinned and kissed him again. Deacon moved his kisses from her lips to her neck and she sighed. She loved when he did that before she fell asleep it made her feel calm. When he knew she was about to fall asleep he turned on his back and she nestled her head into his neck. Another thing she loved was that his smell never changed and she loved to be surrounded by it. She was lulled asleep mixed with it. Deacon felt her relax completely and heard the change in her breathing and knew she had fallen asleep. He loved how right when she fell asleep she would move a little bit closer and she would leave a gentle subconscious kiss to wherever her mouth rested. She had done it back then and she did it again now. He smiled and fell asleep with her.