Summer was here and Merlin seemed to be getting more settled in himself. The couple had several barbeques for their friends and family. The two babies were christened on the same day and Merlin was as proud as punch. He selected special gifts for each of them. He loved the children and was always the first to ask to hold them when he could. He even got the bodyguards to take him to Gwen's several times to visit. In fact in the end Arthur had a hard path laid to her cottage, he worried about Merlin falling from his wheelchair on the loose gravel.
Arthur was working more and more from home only going in to London when he had to meet clients or attend court. One morning Arthur had crept quietly out of bed leaving Merlin asleep, he was leaving the bungalow by seven and didn't want to disturb Merlin.
Percy was on the night shift, and was going to keep an eye on Merlin until Gwaine came on duty. Merlin was independent enough to get himself up, showered and dressed so it wasn't a problem. Percy walked up the passageway every quarter of an hour, so he would hear if Merlin needed him. Merlin also had an intercom system to both the kitchen and bodyguards office. One of the men on duty was nearly always in their office watching the security cameras. It was about an hour after Arthur had left when Percy heard some strange noises from the master bedroom. He called out and on receiving no answer opened the door.
Looking into the bedroom he saw it was empty. Percy thinking Merlin must be in the wet room called out, but there was no answer. He knocked on the door and called out again. Getting no answer he opened the door and looked in. Merlin was led on the wet floor still and unmoving. Percy entered and had a closer look. Merlin was out cold and there was a small pool of blood under his head.
He felt for a pulse and was relieved to find one. He touched Merlin's shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. There was still no response and Merlin was cold to the touch. He quickly covered the naked form with a towel to try to stop the young man getting any colder. Pulling out his mobile he dialled 999 to call for an ambulance before contacting Gilli, to inform him and to ask him to check everywhere for any signs of intruders, just to be sure. Percy was fairly certain the young man had fallen or collapsed but he wasn't taking any chances. Percy then rang Gwaine to tell him what was happening and to ask if he would mind coming across with Mithian and inform Hunith. Percy stayed near the unconscious Merlin and waited for Gwaine to arrive; he figured if Merlin woke up confused he would be better with his friend there, as Arthur wasn't available.
Gwaine and Mithian soon arrived; Percy quickly told them what he had found. Mithian knelt down and checked Merlin. Then she asked Gwaine to get Merlin's portable oxygen from by the bed. He handed the mask to her and she carefully placed the mask over Merlin's face.
"We better not move him until the ambulance gets here. Percy have you phoned Arthur?" Mithian asked.
"No. I was waiting for you to get here, so I had more to tell him." Percy replied.
"Well I think you'd better let him know, we won't know anymore anyway until he gets to hospital." With that Percy's phone rang.
"It's Gilli" he spoke briefly to the other man. He turned back to Gwaine:
"There's no sign of any intruders, but Gilli will wait for the ambulance to arrive and bring them through."
Gwaine rang Arthur and explained what had happened, promising to let the other man know what hospital Merlin was going to be taken to. While he was talking to Arthur he collected the duvet from the bed, and spread over Merlin. Before helping his wife to get up from where she was kneeling by the still form. She was eight months pregnant and he didn't want her to stay on the damp floor. Gwaine took her place and looked worriedly at his friend.
"I'll go and collect Merlin's medication and pack an overnight bag for him." said Mithian wanting something useful to do.
The ambulance arrived ten minutes later. Gilli brought the paramedics though and on the way briefly explained Merlin's past medical history.
One of the paramedics knelt down as Gwaine moved to one side.
"Go careful mate, if he wakes we might have a problem, he hates anyone, even his husband, touching his back or nether regions." The brunette warned.
"Thank you for that information Sir. I remember the case from the trial so can guess why."
The paramedic tried to wake Merlin but the young man didn't stir. Turning to his colleague he said:
"We'll need a neck brace and the back board, while you're getting that I'll get an I/V going." Turning to the others he asked "Who was the first to find him?"
Percy stood forward "I was"
"Has he been conscious at all?"
"No, he was just like you see him now" Percy said.
"Does anyone have any idea how long he could have been here?"
Percy answered once again "No longer than a quarter of an hour. I checked him then; I was walking up and down and heard the shower start up."
The paramedic quickly sited a venflon in Merlin's good arm and took a set of vital signs. Checked over what he could of the still form without moving him. He asked several questions about Merlin's health which Mithian answered.
"It looks like he fell, that's quite a knock on his head. We'll get him into the neck brace and onto the back board before we do anything else. Can you give us so room please" They all moved out into the corridor.
The two paramedics gently moved Merlin onto the back board and then checked the rest of him. Once finished they wrapped him up and strapped him onto the trolley. There was an intravenous drip going as well as the oxygen.
"It looks like he might have broken his arm as well as the nasty knock to his head. We're going to take him to Stoke Mandeville Hospital. Are any of you next of kin?"
Hunith had arrived whilst the paramedics were working.
"I'm his mother, his husband's at work, we've let him know, can I come with you?" Hunith was clearly worried. She had got dressed before coming to the bedroom so she would be able to leave straight away.
"Yes of course, if any others wish to come I'm afraid you will have to follow in a car."
"I need to come as well, Mr Pendragon insists on two body guards present at all times. The others will follow in a car" Gwaine butted in.
"Look Sir, we need to be able to work on the patient, there isn't room for more than one other person" the paramedic clearly wasn't going to allow more people.
"Don't worry Gwaine, you go with him I'll follow in the car" Hunith wasn't about to cause any delays.
"Right then, let's get going. We're headed to Stoke Mandeville Accident and Emergency. We will blue light there, but please follow safely and don't try to keep up with us."
Mithian handed Gwaine the medications she had packed and book listing Merlin's medical history and the Consultant's numbers from Guys. "Take the book in case they need to know anything, but don't let them lose it, Hunith can bring the overnight bag later." She gave Gwaine a kiss.
"Look after him Gwaine" Hunith said a hitch in her voice. With that they got Merlin into the ambulance and left.
Percy took Hunith and followed in the car, taking Merlin's wheelchair with them just in case it was needed. Mithian phoned Arthur and found he had already left London and was heading towards home. He could now go straight to Stoke Mandeville. All the rest could do now was wait for news. Gwen had arrived and cleaned up the wet room, before joining the rest in the kitchen.
Arthur had been in a department meeting when Gwaine had phoned. He was shocked to hear what had happened, and said he would start heading home. Leon was also at the meeting and refused to let Arthur drive.
"You're in no fit state; Merlin would never forgive me if you crashed. I'll drive you. I expect they will take him to Stoke Mandeville. If we start heading that way we can change direction if we need to. Lance can you phone Morgana and let her know, tell her to wait until I phone her before going anywhere."
With that the two men set off, both of them remembering their previous journey, to Oxford.
Merlin was just beginning to come to, by the time the ambulance pulled up at the hospital. Gwaine started to talk to him softly reassuring Merlin, he didn't want the young man to panic as he woke up. The paramedics soon had Merlin in a bay in A&E. As soon as he was settled one nurse started to take Merlin's vital signs, as another nurse took the details from the paramedics. It wasn't long before a doctor arrived.
The doctor spoke to Gwaine and got some more of Merlin's background history. Then he gave Merlin a thorough examination, before he went off to arrange a C.T. scan of Merlin's scull, and x-rays for his arm. Before long Hunith and Percy had arrived and came to Merlin's side. Hunith was please to see Merlin a little more awake although he was still very drowsy.
The next person to see Merlin was the A&E consultant who also examined Merlin. By then the CT scan department had called for him. Gwaine went with them. No one had yet questioned his presence; he assumed they thought he was next of kin. Gwaine asked if he could stay as close expaining Merlin would panic if he woke up fully. He was given a lead apron and allowed to stay. After the scan was done Merlin was taken straight though to x-ray. By the time he was back in A&E Arthur and Leon had arrived.
The staff insisted that all but Arthur and Hunith wait in the waiting room so the medical team had room to look after Merlin. Gwaine finally had to leave his best friends side. The results of the C T and x-rays came though and the Consultant spoke to Arthur.
"Mr Pendragon has bad concussion, but there is no bleeding on the brain nor any fractures to his skull. He has a spiral fracture of his left Ulna. This tends to suggest that he may have put his arm out to save himself. We'll need to put a cast on it. As you are aware his has had extensive work done on that wrist and hand but they appear to be undamaged. I will send the x-rays to Guys to be sure. We will need to admit him at least overnight, and maybe a couple of days to monitor him. The plastic surgeons will give him a local anaesthetic and stitch up his head wound before we send him to a ward." The consultant sounded sympathetic.
"I'm sorry to be nuisance, but there is no way he can be sutured with only a local anaesthetic. He has physiological issues with needles, due to his treatment when he was kidnapped, He won't be able to tolerate being awake, you may need to speak to Guys. Dr Kilgarrah is his Psychiatrist there. I understand Gwaine has given you a list of phone numbers. Also for the same reason I would like Merlin to have a single room, I am happy to pay for it." Arthur was determined not to put Merlin under any more stress from another admission.
"I'll speak to the anaesthetists, but I'm sure they won't want to give him a G.A. because of his head injury. After all it's a small procedure. However I'll get the plastic surgeon to have a word with you. I will also mention to the single room bed manager." With that he walked off to see his next patient.
A bit later another doctor arrived. "Hello my name is Mr Dunford, I'm your husband's plastic surgeon. I understand Mr Pendragon has a problem with having a local for his head wound. Can you come to the office and explain further please? Perhaps we can sort something out."
Arthur went with him and sat down and explained the problem. The surgeon picked up the phone and spoke to Dr Kilgarrah before speaking to Arthur once more:
"I think the best thing we can do is use his hair and tie small amounts of it to pull the wound together in the hair line, and use steri strip tapes to hold the remainder over the forehead, it won't give the best cosmetic result, but we don't really have a choice." He seemed to understand.
"Later we can do a revision under a General Anaesthetic if it's required. He won't be able to wash his hair for ten days. If you can be with him we will do it now, so he can get settled in a bed as soon as possible. He's still not fully conscious so that will help." Arthur went back to Merlin's side and sat next to Merlin while the doctors sorted out his head wound.
As soon as that was done the orthopaedic team put a cast on his forearm. The bed manager arrived to speak to Arthur. She arranged for Merlin to have a side ward and be treated as a private patient. Arthur also explained about the two bodyguards, this was not so well received; she agreed but said they would have to stay in the room with Merlin. Arthur agreed after all it was only for a couple of nights. If it was going to be for longer he would arrange for Merlin to be transferred to a private hospital.
Two porters then arrived to take Merlin up to the medical ward. Hunith went and found the others and they all followed. It was an hour later, before Merlin was more aware of what was going on. Percy had gone home as Pellinor and Kay had come to take over. Gwaine also went back very reluctantly; he knew Mithian would want him home. By then Morgana had arrived and stayed for an hour before Leon took Hunith back to the bungalow before going home themselves.
That left Arthur with the new shift of bodyguards. Arthur decided he would stay the night. Merlin was woken up regularly and his observations taken. His made Merlin very ratty, especially having a torch shone in his eyes. Luckily he only had to stay in for forty eight hours and then they let him go home. Arthur was given a leaflet telling him what to look out for and an appointment to come back to the orthopaedic clinic in a week for Merlin's arm to be checked. It wasn't long before the couple together with Gilli and Percy set off home.
When they arrived back they were greeted by Gwen, who had made Merlin a carrot cake, his favourite. She was so pleased to see him back. Gwaine came over from his cottage, within ten minutes and was soon sat eating a slice of cake and having a coffee.
Arthur told Merlin he could only have a shower if either he or Gwaine was there in future. This brought back the old Merlin briefly:
"Get lost prat, I'm not a baby I don't need you watching me" Merlin was outraged.
"I'm not going to back down on this Merlin, so hard luck" Arthur wasn't going to risk another accident.
"Yeh, we'll see about that, I'm not your child you can get stuffed!"
Merlin stood up from the table and moved off as quickly as he could, but due to his weak leg and being stiff from his fall, he was very unsteady. Arthur stood up to stop him.
"I'll go after him boss" Percy said from where he had been standing.
"He might just blow off a bit more if you go" Percy followed the irate man as he went out into the garden.
Merlin had only just reached the edge of the patio when he started to fall. Percy caught him and gently helped him onto a nearby bench.
"Calm down mate, you should be in your wheelchair out here" Percy kept his tone neutral.
"Don't you start, I've had enough, I'm a grown man I don't need this constant babysitting. Leave me to live my life, I might be a cripple and a mental case but I still want my own life" Merlin was obviously wound up.
"Merlin I don't think anyone is suggesting you need babysitting." Merlin butted in before Percy could say anymore.
"No then what are you here for, clear off and leave me alone."
Percy realised there was no reasoning with Merlin in his present state so moved away. He still kept an eye on Merlin but from a distance.
In the kitchen Gwaine spoke to Arthur "Not the best timing mate. Leave him to calm down but don't push him too far. Life's a risk you can't protect him from everything." With that Gwaine went out to speak to Percy:
"What did he say Perc?"
Percy repeated what Merlin had said.
"I don't think it's worth trying to deal with him now Gwaine, just leave him to calm down. The trouble is looking at it from his point of view he's right isn't he?" Percy looked at the other man.
"Yeh, that's what I told Arthur, I can see where there both coming from, but what do we do?" Gwaine walked back to the house and went to find Arthur. Once he found the worried man he explained the conversation Merlin had had with Percy.
"As I said I know you want to protect Merlin, and don't get me wrong so do I, but I think you need to sit down with Merl and talk this through. We can't protect him from everything. It'll do his head in."
Arthur looked at Gwaine "I didn't realise he thought that way. Oh God Gwaine, what do I do? He was taken in the first place because of me; if he hadn't met me he would still be ok." Arthur looked lost.
"Listen Arthur, you can't think that way, he's right though, you have to let him have some control. Think how you would react, if you were in his place. Talk to him Arthur. Be honest with him."
Arthur thought through what he had heard. "You're right, I'll give him awhile and then go and speak to him" Arthur went to his office to think some more. He was in a quandary, he wanted to keep Merlin safe, but he also wanted him to feel good about himself. Arthur realised he himself still felt guilty about the health problems his husband was facing, and the reasons for them. He thought he had dealt with them, but perhaps he was only kidding himself. Half an hour later he walked to the patio. When he got outside he saw that Merlin had moved and was lying on the lawn. Spotting Percy he went to speak to him.
"Did he fall?" he asked the bodyguard.
"No boss, he asked me help him, he likes to cloud watch. We often put him down and help him back up later. He looks up at the sky and tries to spot shapes in the clouds. I did it with him the other day, we even spotted a dragon; I hadn't done it since I was a kid. I think it works the same as the planetarium in his bedroom, calms his mind" Percy smiled at Arthur's expression. "Go on boss live at little."
Arthur walked down to Merlin and led down beside him.
"Hey, look I'm sorry, I was being over the top, I just want you to be safe." He turned his head to look at the other man. Merlin ignored him.
"Merlin, talk to me love, please."
Merlin took a deep breath "You can't rule my life Arthur. I can't do anything without someone watching me. I have to be able to do some things by myself."
"I know, I just don't want anything else to happen to you, I can't cope with that Merlin. The two years you were missing was hell for me, and then when I got you back you were so ill….I wanted to take it all away from you. It was my fault…" Arthur's voice broke he couldn't say anymore.
"No it wasn't your fault, don't you dare say that, they were to blame not you! I can't live this way Arthur…please, I understand the bodyguards…just. But don't try to stop me doing things by myself." Merlin had tears running down his face He still hadn't looked at Arthur.
Arthur lay on his side and took Merlin's good hand in his. "Merlin I love you, don't forget that. We can talk this through don't shut me out."
"I'm not, but I need to think. I need to work out what I want to do."
Arthur was uncertain what Merlin was trying to say to him. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"I don't know, but you can't control everything Arthur. I need to get my life back. Just let me think, ok. I'll be in soon" with that he removed his hand from Arthur's.
Arthur led there for a couple more minutes then got up and walked slowly indoors. He went into to his office and shut the door. Gwaine watched the blonde man enter the house and followed him. Knocking on the office door he walked straight in.
"Go away" Arthur said without looking up.
"No I won't, now what's going on?" Gwaine obviously wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"He won't talk to me; he says he needs think what to do; he wants to get his life back. What does that mean Gwaine?" Arthur was nearly in tears. Did his husband want to leave him?
"I don't know what he means Arthur, but don't push him. He's been through a lot, you both have. And don't forget he's supposed to be kept calm for a few days. Just let him have some space. He loves you, you know he does."
Gwaine left the other man to think and went back to speak to Percy, asking him to keep a careful eye on Merlin, after all the young man was suffering from the effects of his fall still. An hour later, Hunith went out and asked Merlin if he would like a drink, telling him that the hospitals instructions were for plenty of drinks. He looked at her for awhile before asking Percy to help him get up. His broken arm was making moving even more difficult than usual. He also had a headache.
After Percy had helped him get back up Merlin went and sat indoors and drank some juice but even his mother couldn't get him to talk. As soon as he had finished his drink he went to have a lie down in the bedroom. Later Gwaine went to fetch him back out for his meal. Arthur and Hunith joined them at the table but the meal was held in almost total silence. Hunith tried to get them talking, but soon gave up.
At nine o'clock Merlin announced he was going to bed. Arthur followed after an hour. The next morning the two men still weren't talking. Merlin even refused to speak to Gwaine. He went and sat in the corner of the lounge and read a book most of the day. They ate their meals together but although Arthur tried to make conversation Merlin refused to speak. The next morning unable to cope anymore Arthur went to work.
While he was at the office he rang Dr Kilgarrah and explained the situation. The doctor said he would call to see Merlin the next day and promised he wouldn't say that Arthur had contacted him. He suggested that Arthur just let Merlin come to him when he was ready. Arthur was finding things very difficult and rang Morgana and arranged to have lunch with her. Morgana immediately realised something was very wrong. Her brother looked dreadful. Arthur told he what had happened and that he was worried that Merlin was going to leave him. She told him that she didn't think it would come to that; they loved each other to much. She asked him to let her know what Dr Kilgarrah thought and then she would go and visit Merlin with her daughter.
When Arthur got home in the middle of the afternoon Merlin was out in the garden with his mother. He didn't disturb them but when Hunith came in Arthur went to the annex to speak to her. She told him that Merlin had hardly spoken a dozen words to her, and seemed to be withdrawing into his self. Hunith had run Stoke Mandeville to ask if his behaviour could have anything to do with his concussion. She told them he had had a headache but this had resolved. The doctor had said that it could explain his behaviour, irritability was one of the symptoms and to keep a close eye on him and if the headache returned or his behaviour became worse to let them know immediately.
In a way Arthur was relieved, if it was a symptom of his concussion then it would hopefully resolve. He decided to try talking to Merlin again but this time about general subjects. He went out into the garden and asked Merlin what his day had been like and Merlin did answer him, all be it in just a few words. When they sat down with Hunith for a meal later Merlin did talk a bit and this gave Arthur hope.
The next day Dr Kilgarrah visited as promised telling Merlin he was visiting another patient and thought he would pop in. He spent about an hour with Merlin and this seemed to help. Dr Kilgarrah also had a quiet word with Arthur afterwards and said he would work with Merlin on his feelings of inadequacy and lack of control on his life. He suggested Arthur let Merlin do things even if there was a risk involved. Much like you would allow a child to take risks in order to gain confidence. He also told Arthur that he needed to accept that he couldn't protect Merlin from everything and give him some freedom. Merlin, he felt needed to make more choices in his life.
Although Merlin was still quiet did talk more and that night cuddled into Arthur. Arthur knew that he needed to work through his own feelings more if he was to help Merlin. Arthur emailed his sister with the basic information for when she visited the next day. Morgana arrived with Miranda at ten o'clock the next morning. Gwen had brought Penny with her to work. Merlin face lit up when he saw the babies. He insisted on cuddling them despite his broken arm. Morgana helped him hold them. Morgana stayed until after lunch and their visit seemed to help Merlin turn a corner. At their evening meal he chatted about the babies and Arthur felt a weight lift.
It was over a week before Merlin began to return to anything like his normal self. Arthur casually mentioned that he had changed his mind about the showers. Although for now Merlin couldn't get his head wet, and was fed up with his greasy hair. He also needed a waterproof bag over his plaster cast to stop it getting wet in the shower. Arthur found himself standing in the corridor listening out for problems, but was careful that Merlin didn't know. Arthur also told the bodyguards that if Merlin wanted to go out with them, they no longer needed check with him first.
Arthur and Gwaine had a long chat on how they could let Merlin have a greater freedom and they agreed to play it by ear. The next day when Arthur was at work Gwaine suggested to Merlin they go for a walk, with Merlin in his wheelchair, around the village. He made sure Merlin was aware that they did not check with Arthur. In the village they popped into the village shop to get ice creams after Merlin suggested it. He still had the two bodyguards with him but it was more like a walk with friends.
…
Don't worry things get better soon but Merlin and Arthur need this journey. Thanks to everyone for their comments please keep them coming.