Kayla stepped out of the bedroom and walked down the hallway. As she reached the living room, she stopped and took in the scene in front of her. Steve was sitting on the floor, his back to her, watching Stephanie play with her toys.
How many times had she dreamed of watching Steve and Stephanie together? How many times had she dismissed the idea as nothing more than a dream? She thought back to the previous night when Steve had been hurt when he had overheard her talking with Shane. She knew it hurt Steve to be reminded that Shane had shared so much time with her and Stephanie while he was gone. But what Steve did not understand was that Kayla wished he had been a part of those moments as much as Steve did.
She was grateful that Shane had been there for her, and for Stephanie. Having someone to share those moments had helped her endure the pain of believing that Steve would never see his daughter pass those important milestones in her life. But it had never stopped Kayla from wishing that Steve was there or from believing that he should have been there.
Kayla stood in the doorway, still mesmerized by her husband and daughter. She watched as Steve rolled a ball to Stephanie, and listened as his deep laugh joined with Stephanie's childish giggles. Suddenly, Stephanie noticed Kayla and pointed at her, saying, "Mama."
Steve turned to see Kayla standing in the entryway. "Hey, baby." His eye caught and held hers. "What are you doing back there?"
"Just watching a dream come true," Kayla said softly. She shook herself from the moment, walked to the table and picked up her purse and jacket.
Steve got up and walked towards her. "You going somewhere, Sweetness?"
Kayla nodded. "I need to pick up a couple of things at the store before I fly to the capital today."
"Well why don't Little Sweetness and I go with you?" Steve gave her a grin. "Maybe we could stop at the park or something."
Kayla knew Steve was trying to put their argument from the previous evening behind them. He had been trying since she had put Stephanie back to sleep the night before. The problem was that he wanted to forget it had happened, rather than deal with issues that had surfaced. And that was not going to fix things.
"I think it's better if I just go run my errands alone." Kayla looked over at her daughter. "I think Stephanie is pretty happy right where she is."
"Baby -"
"It's okay," Kayla said, cutting Steve off. "I won't be gone long." She softened as she saw the hurt on Steve's face. "Maybe we can take her to the park for a little while after I get back."
"All right." Steve paused a moment. "I know you're still mad about what I said last night. But you're going to be gone for a couple of days. I just . . . I just want us to spend some time together before you go."
"I know." Kayla sighed. "I want that, too." She leaned up and gave him a soft kiss. "I'll be back soon." She walked over and gave Stephanie a kiss as well. When she reached the door, she turned and smiled at Steve. "See if you two can stay out of trouble while I'm gone. Okay?"
Steve nodded and gave her a small smile. Kayla turned back to the door and left the apartment.
Kayla made her stops quickly and efficiently, while her mind alternated between the tension at home and the hearing scheduled for the next day. When she finished her errands, she impulsively drove to the pier. She knew she needed to clear her head and the pier had always been her favorite spot to think.
As she walked along the water, Kayla tried to figure out what to do. She knew that she and Steve had to deal with his anger about Shane. No, that was not quite right. They had to deal with his anger at her about Shane. But she did not know how to make him deal with it when he would not even admit that he was angry at her.
Kayla stopped as she heard voices coming towards her. Looking up, she spotted Bo and Shawn Douglas walking down the pier. They were carrying their fishing poles and were obviously returning from a successful fishing trip, judging by the string of fish Shawn Douglas was struggling to carry.
"Hey, Kay," Bo called out when he saw her.
"Look what I caught, Aunt Kayla."
"That's quite a catch," Kayla said with a laugh. "You're turning into quite the fisherman."
"Like my papa," Shawn Douglas said, smiling at Bo.
"So what are you doing down here?" Bo asked. "Where's that old man of yours?"
"He's at home with Stephanie," Kayla replied. She turned back to the water. "I was just doing some thinking."
Bo gave Kayla a curious look. Turning to Shawn Douglas, he said, "Hey Sailor Man. Why don't you run those fish back to the boat and put them in the cooler. I'll be there in a few minutes to help you clean them."
"Okay, papa." Shawn Douglas took off for the boat at a run.
When Shawn Douglas was gone, Bo turned to Kayla. "All right, sis. What's going on?"
"What makes you think something is going on?"
Bo smiled at Kayla. "Because, ever since we were kids, this is where you came when there was a problem. You always said that looking at the water helped you think things through."
Kayla returned Bo's smile. He really did know her so well. She turned back to the water and gave a soft sigh. "Steve and I had a fight last night. He overheard Shane and me talking at the party. It upset him pretty badly."
"Oh?" Bo looked at Kayla. "What were you and Shane talking about?"
"Stephanie mostly," Kayla replied. "Steve thinks that Shane took his place while he was gone. I think, deep down, he's afraid he wasn't really missed."
"Well he's a damn fool then," Bo said. "Everybody knows how much you missed him."
"Everybody but Steve." Kayla gave a sad laugh. "The problem is that he thinks he's mad at Shane. He won't admit that the person he's really mad at is me. And I don't know how to fix the problem when he won't acknowledge it."
Kayla turned back to Bo as she heard him chuckle.
"You think that's funny?"
Bo stopped chuckling and looked at her. "No, I don't think it's funny. It's just that you always think you can fix things. When we were kids whenever Roman, Kimber or me would get in a fight, you were right there trying to fix it."
"What's wrong with wanting my family to be happy?" Kayla asked, confused.
"Nothing's wrong with it, Kay. But you never figured out that you can't fix everything for everybody."
Kayla's frustration got the best of her. "So what am I supposed to do, Bo? Just give up?"
"No," Bo said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "You've never given up on anything, and I don't expect you would start now. But maybe this isn't something you can fix. Maybe this is something Steve needs to work through."
Kayla leaned into Bo, appreciating the emotional and physical support he provided. "I know that Steve needs to work through this, but I should be able to help him. But I can't because I'm the problem. I'm the one who moved on while he was gone. I'm the one who's causing him this pain."
"Hold on, Kay," Bo said, turning her to face him. "You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't know Steve was alive. None of us did."
"I know that. Steve knows that." Kayla pulled away from Bo, the frustration building again. "But it doesn't change the facts of what happened and it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty and Steve from being angry."
"Just give him some time, Kay. He really hasn't been back that long."
Kayla almost said she had given him time - that she thought they had worked through this in England. But she caught herself in time and just nodded at Bo.
"I know it hasn't been that long. Maybe I'm expecting too much. I just want things back like they used to be. We were so happy before . . . before the accident. I just want that back."
"I know you do, Kay." Bo said, putting his arm around her again. "And I know you'll get there. Steve loves you and you love him. That's enough to get you through this."
Kayla nodded again. She hugged him close and then pulled away. "I better get back home. Steve wants to take Stephanie to the park before I leave this afternoon."
"I hope everything goes okay at the hearing," Bo said.
"Thanks," Kayla replied. "I'm sure it will be fine. I'll talk to you when I get back."
"Okay." Bo kissed her cheek. He turned and began walking back towards his boat.
Alone on the pier again, Kayla took one last look out at the water. She was glad that Bo had been there to help her talk about some of her feelings. She knew he was right. She could not fix this, at least not by herself. She and Steve would have to work through it together somehow.
With that thought in mind, Kayla turned away from the water and began walking to her car. She was going to enjoy the next few hours with her family before she left. Steve and she would deal with their issues when she returned from the capitol.