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As we head out into the forest with the heat at our backs, a sudden calm washes over me. For the first time in my life, I've broken free. Gone was the frail, shy Beth. The weak little girl had been left behind to burn with her wretched memories. I stood before that shack an' was baptized by the flames. My pain an' fears slipped over me, meltin' away at the mouth of the inferno. I was a phoenix risen from the ashes, born anew with fire in my veins.
The moonlight shines brightly down on the earth before us. It brightens the woods enough to see all our surroundin's. We weave through brush an' branches, Daryl keepin' to my side; a silent protector. But he was more than protection, he was my friend. I smile over at him. He catches my eye an' gives me a shy smirk just before lookin' away. I'm not hurt, I can tell he's tryin'. The 'friend' concept is obviously still new to him. All he ever had was his brother. I think back to what he told me about his past. I know there has to be more to it, but the honesty flattered me. I won't dig any further, yet.
I'm so proud of how far he's come along since the prison. The last thing I wanna do is scare him off. A giggle slips from my mouth at the thought of him bein' scared of me. I hoped he hadn't noticed, but he turns 'round. "What's so funny?" But he's not annoyed. He actually looks curious, brows slightly furrowed an' another smirk playin' at the corner of his mouth. I smile sweetly at him an' tell him that I'm just thinkin'. He gives me a peculiar look then, like he's tryin' to work somethin' out. But, before long, he drops his eyes back to the ground an' leads us on.
We find a small patch in the woods that's cleared through. Daryl mentions it could've belonged to a deer that bedded down recently. "Shit! I hope it's a deer. A big ass buck fulla meat. We could be eatin' like fuckin' kings offa that son of a bitch, girl!" There's a smile in his voice, an' I'm reminded that he's in his element. If there's any chance of food 'round here, Daryl can find it. An' I make it a point to never turn my nose up at whatever game he brings back, even snake jerky. I'm grateful. He's a good provider.
We set up camp in the little clearin' an' Daryl sets down with his crossbow. I'm entranced with how intricately he studies his weapon, the care he takes with each arrow. There could never be a doubt that he's a skilled hunter. I can't help but be fascinated with the power that overcomes him with that bow in his hands. I could never be any good with that thing. Not on my own, at least.
"Hey, you know what we could do tomorrow?" He mumbles his acknowledgment of my question. "We could go out huntin'! You can teach me how to be an all-powerful predator of the forest like yourself." He just looks at me, so I continue, "I mean, unless you're scared I could end up better'n you. I guess I understand, who wants to be showed up by a little girl?" I peek over at him. His eyes shine brightly as he sizes me up. Without warnin' he stands, bow hung at his side. A small alarm goes off in the back of my head. Did I upset him? Is this another mood swing? I remember his reaction to my sayin' he was afraid, but surely he knows I'm only teasin' now? I brace myself.
He slowly makes his way over an' ends up standin' at my side, holdin' the crossbow out to me. It's only a millisecond of confusion before I take it in my hands. It's heavier than I thought. Before I know it, Daryl's standin' behind me. He places his hands on my elbows an' positions my arms an' the bow to the appropriate stance. His face is next to mine, I can feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek. "The trick is to steady your breathin'." He speaks so softly into my ear, I all but stop breathin' entirely. He chuckles a little. "Not that steady, Jesus."
I let out the breath I'd been holdin'. I think I'm just so used to his distance an' the emphasis he's always placed on personal space. I don't want him to be afraid of gettin' close with me, but I have to remind myself not to be afraid of him, either. I want us to be friends. I want us to sit back an' relax together over fresh meat an' a good time. Most of all, I'd love to hear him laugh. I can't imagine what it'd sound like.
My arms start gettin' sore from holdin' the bow up, but I wait patiently for him to further instruct me. He's in front of me now, lookin' me over, searchin' for flaws in my form. He reaches out to touch my arm, guidin' my aim down slightly. Overall he seems pleased. He places his hand on the side of my face an' my heart beats tremendously against my ribs. He's gently tilted my head down the slightest bit. "Now, in order to be a good shot, you gotta have good aim an' a good trigger finger." His hand lightly brushes over my own, electricutin' every single nerve endin'. I need to pull myself together.
"So, what? I just point an' pull the trigger?" I knew this was easier than it looked.
He rolls his eyes at me, "There's more to it 'an that. You can't have the two actions be separated. You want the aim an' the pull to be one motion. Steady your breathin'. Take your aim." I point to the dead tree in front of me. He's behind me again an' carries on his lesson. "Now, click the safety- that part there. Steady, your breathin', Beth. Sight on your target an' slowly start to pull on the trigger," But I went too quickly. The arrow sticks out from the saplin' next to my original mark. Damn it.
Daryl scoffs at me before he goes to pull it out. I'm embarrassed. He takes the bow from me an' sets it up again. This time, I'm much calmer. An' when he instructs me to start pullin' as I'm aimin', I slow my breaths an' finish my sequence. I gaze at the bolt, stickin' straight outta that tree. I'm dumbstruck. I can't believe I did it! I let out a laugh an' smile up at Daryl. His eyes are full of emotion-pride?- as he looks back at me. Then he gives me a genuine smile before settin' over to get the bolt from my 'kill'. "That's some damn good shootin', girl. I knew you had it in you. Just wait. You'll be pluckin' squirrels off one by one in no time." The entire affair has been nothin' short of euphoric. That's the best way to sum up gettin' praise from Daryl.
We decide to settle in for the night, me takin' the first watch after quite a round of persuadin'. Daryl's out before his head hits the ground. I sit at the openin' of the tent an' think how things have shifted. I want life to continue in this pattern, small moments where you forget how terrifyin' the world 'round you is. The moments when you catch a haunted man actually enjoyin' hisself an' smilin'. I just want us to be happy. More importantly, I want Daryl to be happy.
I look over my shoulder at his sleepin' form on the ground. For now, he's sleepin' but he won't be out for long. He never is. I'm all too aware of my starin' at him when he mumbles somethin' incoherently. I hold back my giggle. I never pegged him as the type to talk in his sleep. There's so much more to learn about him. I whisper a silent prayer to myself, just a hope for a chance to get to know the real him.
He mumbles again, an' I choke on the sip of water I just took. I had to imagine that. Tryin' to clear my airway, I scoot closer to him to listen. His lips are slightly parted, the expression on his face almost looks peaceful. Then he speaks again an' I know I didn't imagine it. My eyes nearly pop out of my head as I take in the scene before me. Daryl Dixon. Hardened by a cruel world that only better prepared him for a crueler world. The man with the icy fortress guardin' his heart, who don't let nobody in. The man who hides feelin's. My mind goes numb tryin' to process what all of it means, my body starts to shake as my heart hammers away. Then he says it again.
"Beth..."