Gradually things settled down to normal. When Mithian started to get contractions, Gwaine went into panic mode and Merlin had to calm him down for once. It was Merlin that let the hospital know that the couple were on their way. By that evening Mithian had given birth to a baby boy. Gwaine was overjoyed. They had decided on the name William Merlin, Gwaine had wanted to use Merlin as the first name, but Merlin insisted that if they wanted to use it at all it must be the childs second name. But he was pleased that they decided on William as the first name. Merlin and Arthur went to the cottage the next morning to visit mother, and of course Merlin was asked to be godfather once more. But this time the second godfather was to be Mithian's brother and not Arthur. Gwaine was pleased to have a son although he told everyone he wanted a daughter next time. Mithian threatened him with 'no sex for ever' if he mentioned another baby for a long time.
With so many babies about Merlin was even more disappointed that they had decided not to adopt, but at the same time he loved being an 'Uncle' to them all.
It was soon time to have his plaster off. Boris and Percy went with him to the hospital. Unfortunately Arthur was in court that day, and Gwaine had to go with Mithian for her check up. Arthur suggested making a different appointment but Merlin was keen to get it over with and Hunith went with him. Percy and Kay accompanied them. In the end Merlin coped quite well but wasn't keen on the actual cutting of process. Merlin was pleased to get home that day and hoped to keep out of hospital for awhile.
The next morning Merlin was making them a cup of coffee when he dropped the milk all over the kitchen floor. Gwen told him not to worry and cleaned it up, but Merlin was annoyed with himself. Arthur was at home that day and said he would go to the village shop to get some more milk, as they were nearly out. It was a nice day and he wanted to get away from the paper work for awhile. He set of and when he arrived he found one of their elderly neighbours Gaius Lane talking to the shopkeeper Gladys.
Gaius had lived in the area all his life and had lots of stories to tell. Gladys was telling him he should write then all down for the village web site, so there was a record. Gaius was saying his hands were too shaky to write and his eyes were getting bad. Arthur had a eureka moment. He waited until they had finished talking, paid for his milk and quickly left the shop and caught up Gaius.
"Hello Gaius, I overheard what you were talking about in the shop. Would you be interested in recording your memories if you had help?" Arthur hoped the answer was yes.
"Yes I suppose so, I've thought about it in the past, but never got round to it. Why do you ask?" Gaius was curious.
"Well I can't make the offer now, as I need to speak to Merlin, but we have been trying to think of a project for him. He isn't fit to hold down a job at the moment as he gets bad days sometimes, but he would benefit from doing something useful. He loves history and it might be right up his street." Arthur felt quite excited about the idea.
"Well ask him by all means. I like the boy, always so polite. Dreadful what happened to him. I could come round or he could come to me. Alice, my wife, has a real soft spot for him. It would be nice, I'm eighty this year I won't last forever." Gaius smiled.
"Tell you what I'll mention it to Merlin, and get back to you in the next few days, if that's alright." Arthur couldn't wait to get home and speak to Merlin.
They left it that, Arthur said he would let Gaius know and sort out the details later. He rushed back with the milk. He decided not to mention it straight away as Merlin was in a sulk. He was annoyed with himself for make more work for Gwen. Arthur knew better than to try to talk to Merlin when he was in a mood, so left it for another time. He did go and ask Hunith what she thought, and she agreed it could work wonders for Merlin.
"He likes Alice and Gaius we often speak to them when we go out for a walk. He was a pharmacist working for one of the pharmaceutical companies, working with natural herbs and plants to develop modern drugs. He's ever so interesting to talk to. Yes it's a good idea." Hunith seemed very keen. "Mind you I wouldn't mention it today he's got himself in a strop." Hunith grinned at Arthur. "I don't need to tell you what he's like to talk to when he's like that. Funny he never used to get moody."
"I did notice his mood don't worry, I think I'll keep out of his way for a while. I suppose it's not surprising he's changed a bit after all he's been through." Arthur grinned at Hunith.
It was a couple of days before Arthur mentioned it to Merlin. Merlin was immediately interested and started to think of the best way to go about it. It was the first time Arthur had seen Merlin so keen on anything since they designed the bungalow together. Arthur phoned Gaius and arranged for the old man to come for a visit the next day. Arthur told him to bring Alice and they would show them around and give them lunch. He made sure the Geraint and Gwaine knew as they were on duty tomorrow. Arthur also asked Gwen if she would mind having two extras for lunch. Of course she didn't, she liked the elderly couple. She had got to know them well as they lived just across the road from her. So it was all planned.
At eleven o'clock Gaius and Alice arrived. Arthur met them at the door. Gaius was pulling along a shopping trolley.
"It's full of old photos, I thought the boy might be interested." Gaius was obviously keen to start.
Arthur took the couple to say hello to Merlin who was sitting in the lounge. After saying hello they then gave the couple a tour of the bungalow, and then Arthur left them to it. At twelve thirty he went back to call them all of lunch. The large coffee table was covered in old photos and the three of them were in deep conversation. Merlin had a note book in his hand.
"Lunch is ready people, if you'd like to join us." Arthur thought for a moment they weren't going to move but then Alice stood up. "Come on boys, someone's been working hard to get us something to eat, so let's go and enjoy it."
Lunch was very enjoyable and the talk around the table interesting. After lunch Arthur suggested that Merlin use one of the spare bedrooms to put all the paper work, in so they wouldn't have to keep picking it up, and putting it away again. Merlin could use half the office when he was writing things up. So that was what they did.
At least twice a week Gaius and Alice would visit. Most of the time Alice went to Hunith's where the two ladies spent many an hour talking. Merlin and Gaius managed to label all the photos and put them in folders so they knew where to find them. Merlin was taping their conversations so he could concentrate on what the older man was saying and ask questions.
Merlin told Arthur that he thought that, from what he had already heard, they might be able to get a book done. Even if it was only printed for the villagers. Merlin and Gaius got on very well and the older man almost became like a grandfather figure to the young man. Merlin seemed to be coming out of his self and was less moody. Arthur was so pleased that Merlin had dropped the milk that morning. Alright he still had problems, but everyone agreed the project had given him a purpose.
Gaius had been born before the 1930 Great Depression. He was sitting in lounge with Merlin one afternoon and they were talking about Gaius's childhood memories of that time. He was telling Merlin about the cupboards they had made with tight wire mesh on the front to keep the food in as they were no fridges. He said that his mother lived with the worry that flies would lay eggs in what little meat they did have. He remembered the maggots that his mother had found in a chicken carcass, and how she had scraped them of before cooking the meat. It was too valuable a food stuff, to throw away. Gaius was looking out of the window as he was speaking, a habit he often had when talking about the past. Then he heard Merlin making a noise. He looked round and realised Merlin was getting very upset. He had never seem the young man have an attack but recognised what was happening. He called for Kay who was sat the other side of the lounge.
"Merlin are you alright lad?" Gaius got up and put his hand on Merlin's shoulder and tried to listen to what he was saying.
"got to eat it….horrid got to eat it…" he seemed to be mumbling. Kay was stood next to Gaius.
"Don't touch him Sir; he might go into a full panic." With that Kay called Arthur who was working in his home office.
Kay checked Merlin was safe and not about to fall from the chair, the young man was beginning to move so Kay quickly lifted Merlin's feet up and lay him down on the sofa he was sitting on. Arthur arrived just as he did so. Gaius continued to talk softly to the distressed man as Arthur arrived.
"Merlin… Merlin look at me love, it's Arthur, your safe Merlin" Merlin looked at Arthur his eyes glassy.
"Kay get a glass of water and the bottle of Lorazepam from my bedside table please."
"I'll get the water." Gaius said and went to the kitchen.
Kay went for the tablets. As soon as they got back Arthur tried to get Merlin to take two tablets. He managed after spilling most of the water on Merlin.
"hush Merlin Hush" Arthur stroked his hand through Merlin's hair calming they young man. Merlin continued to mutter to his self.
"Merlin it's alright you're safe. It's Arthur, Merlin." Merlin gradually calmed down. After about twenty minutes he was asleep. Arthur carefully picked up Merlin and took him through to the bedroom. He asked Kay to sit with him and went to talk to Gaius.
"Sorry Gaius, he's sleeping now. Thank you for your help."
"Don't worry lad, I think it was me that set him off, from what he was saying. We were talking about the depression and I was telling him about how mum never threw anything any even if the flies had got on it" he looked worried.
"I didn't think sorry. From what he was muttering I think they made him eat maggoty food when he was held, he kept saying he had to live or they would get you" He looked at Arthur. "They were right bastards weren't they, I knew he had been though a lot but.. I'm sorry to trigger his bad memories."
"No need to feel sorry Gaius, the trouble is we don't know all that happened to him Gaius, he was just like a concentration camp victim when he was rescued as well as all the other injuries" Arthur was, as usual when Merlin had his attacks, shaken. "Thank you, with your help we manage to stop it getting to bad."
"Look I'll go and get that nice housekeeper of yours to make us all a cup of tea, Come on lad, don't worry he'll feel better when he wakes up" Gaius led Arthur through to the kitchen. After half an hour Gaius and Alice went home promising to phone later to see how Merlin was.
A couple of days later Gaius and Merlin met up again. Gaius asked Merlin to tell him immediately if he started to talk about things that had any effect on him. Merlin said he would. He also told his new friend not to blame himself. Merlin was very embarrassed about the whole thing.
"Look my boy you went through a lot, I may not know all of it, but I know enough. I know for instance that you were very underweight when you were found as well as having other problems. Now I have known men who were in the concentration camps, and a couple who were in Burma as prisoners. They were starved and tortured, and most never really got over it. And they had others with them, and they supported each other, which meant a lot. You however were on your own; it's not surprising you have the occasional problem. Don't beat yourself up over it."
Merlin was surprised at what Gaius had said. Hardly anyone spoke to him in that way, most people tried to avoid mentioning what had happened to him, even Arthur. It was if they thought if they didn't mention it, it would be easier for him. Dr Kilgarrah was the only one who asked but he didn't talk to Merlin in the same way as Gaius.
"I hadn't thought of it that way. It's embarrassing getting myself in such a state."
"Why? You've had awful things done to you my boy, don't make it worse by beating yourself up. Accept yourself for what you are. You can't go back. I understand it is difficult for you to talk to your family, they are worried about you, but talk it through with others. Do you have someone to talk to?"
"I've got my psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist" Merlin said.
"Well talk to them, openly, that's what their there for. Or talk to me or Alice if you want. Don't bottle things up. They will only spill out if you do." Gaius was firm but kind, he obviously wanted to help.
"Thank you, I will try. It's not easy. People don't understand, they can see I'm a cripple with my arm and leg. My deafness they shout at me for, but my head they think I'm either fragile or a nut case."
"And what do you think?"
"That I'm a nut case, and a cripple, but then I am." Merlin gave a rueful grin.
"No you're not, and until you believe otherwise, no one else will." Gaius was exasperated. "Now boy, we won't get much done today, so I'll leave you to think, not to hard mind! And I'll come back after the weekend." Gaius shock his head. He understood why Merlin's family wanted to protect the lad, but it was making him totally lack in self confidence and worth. He would discuss it with Alice and see what they could do.