My eyes fly open. There's an ache in my chest from my labored breathin' an' my pulse is runnin' at an alarmin' rate. I blink in the dark a few times an' realize it was only a nightmare. It's the same one I've had every night since the prison fell. But there was somethin' new that caused my stomach to twist in knots an' sent a roll of shakes through my body. I hastily wipe my tears as I try to remember the change.
It's a beautiful day outside the prison walls. People are startin' to get better an' the feelin' that the worst is over hangs in the air. I watch the smaller children pickin' flowers by the garden, baby Judith bouncin' on my hip. I cherish the sun on my skin as a gentle breeze tickles the hair that's fallen 'round my face. It's quiet out here.
But the silence doesn't last. From the depths of the woods comes rumblin'. The children look frightened as they run to where I'm standin'. Judith starts cryin' so I ask Mika to take her back inside with the others. I see Maggie runnin' to the fence where Daryl, Carl, Tyrese, Sasha an' Bob are gathered. Fear claws at my mind, but I fight through it an' break into a sprint. I make it to the group when I notice Rick is at the entrance facin' what looks like a small army. Scannin' the faces 'round me, my stomach drops when I realize I don't know where Daddy is. He was down by the tree line with Michonne. I don't see her with the rest of us, an' that's the first thrill of terror that runs through me.
I watch as Rick speaks with someone. I see all the people standin' out there, guns raised. There are trucks an' a tank. I take a closer look at one of the trucks an' see a man standin' there on the tailgate. I hear Maggie gasp an' turn to see what scared her.
"The Governor..." Her whisper was small an' soft, but the words rampaged through my mind like a tornado. I had never set eyes on the man that had tried to kill us just months ago. From where I stood, I could make out dark hair an' the patch over his eye from where I knew Michonne had stabbed him. He was a shadow in my nightmares, a complete stranger that craved the blood of good people. My heart races as I gaze down at the monster from my dreams; a face finally placed to the man in the dark.
As Rick tries to speak with him, a man an' woman are pulled from out of another truck. The white hair an' beard are what give my father away, Michonne is next to him. I try to catch my breath, but I'm drownin' in the vision of the monster holdin' the people I love hostage. I only vaguely notice that Daryl has discreetly handed guns amongst us, that he is levelheaded enough to still prepare for a fight. There's more words between Rick an' the monster. I start to tell myself that everything will be alright: Rick will save them an' the monster will sink back into the shadows where it belongs. I almost fool myself into believin' it.
My eye catches the sun as it hits the sword, flashin' in the air before strikin' my father in the throat. I feel myself start to fall, but my hand catches the fence in front of me. Somewhere, a girl is screamin'. I look 'round to see who it is; it takes only an instant to realize the screams are my own. From here I can see Daddy's white shirt washed in red at the collar. His body crumples to the ground. That's when we begin to fire into the crowd.
Before long, we retreat back to hide behind water drums an' pieces of broken wall. Their tank tears through the fence as though it were paper. I see my sister take off with some of the others.
"Maggie!" I run after her but she's too far ahead. My eyes rake over the forms lifeless bodies strewn across the prison yard. When I look up I'm starin' into the face of the monster, terrified to see him smilin' as he raises a gun to my head. It happens in a split second; Daryl runs in front of me, shieldin' me. Before I process what he's doin', a shot rings through the air. I stare at the blood poolin' at his back just before he turns to me, the penetration point scarlet red in his chest. He stretches his hand to me an' I take it as he falls to his knees. He pants my name before his face hits the cement, the life dimmin' from his eyes. The monster has hidden himself back into the shadows of the woods. I'm all alone now.
That's where I woke up an' I know what the change was. This nightmare usually ends in Daryl killin' The Governor, takin' my hand an' leadin' me into the forest away from our dead. I've never dreamt him bein' killed before an' the fresh image rips at my heart. But I can hear his breathin' next to me an' it soothes me. I sink back down to my pillow an' pull the blanket up to my chest, tryin' to fight the chills that have nothin' to do with the temperature in this room.
Gently as I can, I reach my hand out until my fingers brush his shirt an' I feel the firm muscles underneath. The slight rise an' fall of his breathin' soothes me, but it isn't enough. I only hesitate for a moment before decidin' that I could deal with any consequences in the mornin'. I cling to his side, my arm tight 'round his chest, my leg hitched over his thigh. I place my head on his shoulder an' turn my face to his. I take a deep breath, unintentionally inhalin' his scent. It's a mixture of cigarettes, sweat an' dirt, the combination causin' my heart to hammer mercilessly. I don't think a single person could question just how masculine Daryl is.
I feel the smooth, sinewy bicep firmly press against me as he pulls me tighter in his sleep. I'm reminded of a time when the roles were reversed; when I was the one holdin' him to me as he fell apart. We are learnin' from one another, supportin' one another. In the depths of my mind, I sense that a shift has started between us; the way he looks at me now, how his eyes glow whenever they fall on me. I remember him smilin' at me in the woods the other night an' know it was the first time I've ever seen him do so.
I look at his face washed in moonlight cuttin' through the boarded windows. In another part of my mind, I can dream of fallin' in love with Daryl Dixon. I imagine the good heart wrapped in a bad boy shell, the one he finally opens to me. My mind swarms with images of our hands locked together, our first kiss, the first time we share a bed with no intentions of sleepin'. He would be faithful an' gentle. I would know he'd lay his life down on the line to protect me.
The last thought is equally true in our dark reality. The hauntin' image of Daryl standin' before me- reachin' for me- with a gunshot wound to the chest tears through my fantasies. Our relationship is destined to end in tragedy before it has even had a chance to blossom. I silently cry into his side. As the weight of my fears holds me down, I stupidly let the more beautiful dream slip over me. The last image I have before sleep consumes me is of Daryl leanin' his face into mine as our lips meet for the first time. It couldn't hurt me to pretend it could be real.