Warning of possible triggers in the next two chapters. Suicide Attempt. Don't read if it might affect you.

Arthur gradually managed to get on top of his stress and depression and it gave him a better understanding of Merlin's black periods. Hunith kept a closer eye on her boys and made sure they looked after each other. Merlin tried his hardest to help Arthur and not cause too much anxiety to him with his own moods. But he knew he was far better at hiding things now than he had been, he sometimes thought he would have made a good actor. Life slowly settled back down into a routine. The next issue that concerned Arthur was coming round all too quickly. And this might be the next big problem for Merlin to face. Morgause and the others were due to be considered for parole. Arthur decided he would oppose any applications for parole when and if they arose. He had never considered Edwin a long term threat; he was no more than a lackey and had already been released.

Although Arthur thought Merlin was unaware of the timing of the parole hearings, he was wrong. Merlin knew that the parole board was due to meet and was getting more and more anxious. He had overheard Arthur on the phone one day and realised what was going on. But didn't let on to Arthur he knew. Merlin started to make his own plans and was slowly getting things ready.

When the time came for the parole boards to meet Arthur asked and received permission to attend, instead of Merlin, after getting a report from Dr Kilgarrah to say Merlin was not fit to attend. The board carefully considered each of the three defendants separately.

Valiant and Cendred had been involved in several incidence brutality to other inmates during their sentences and they were turned down without hesitation. Morgause's fate took longer to decide, but in the end her application was also turned down but would be reconsidered in a year. She had shown no remorse for her actions, and when she had heard her husband was once more in prison she had said she would seek revenge once more. Although Morgause denied this she was considered to still be a threat, so her application for parole was also turned down.

Arthur was relieved, he could now go home and tell Merlin the news even though they would have to face it all again the next year. He had been told it was unlikely any of the three would be successful then either. He drove home feeling much happier.

Back at the bungalow Merlin was putting his plans in action. He was determined to cause his husband no more problems; he had made the poor man suffer enough. Merlin had been devastated when Arthur had begun to suffer from depression; he had always been so strong, it was his fault he knew it.

So after his session in the pool, he told Gwaine he was getting a headache and was going to have a lie down for a couple of hours. Gwaine asked his son to take the dogs out for their walk. The children were on half term and William loved the Jack Russell's. Gwaine got Merlin a couple of paracetamol and left Merlin resting.

Once Merlin was sure Gwaine had gone he opened his bedside draw and removed three letters and a bottle of pills. He put the three letters on the bed and took the tablets, he had been saving them up for since he realised that his captors would soon be free. He felt totally numb, he had wanted to say goodbye to Gwaine and hug his friend, he would also have loved to do the same for his mum and Arthur but knew he couldn't, they would have known something was the matter.

He led down and waited to feel the effects of the tablets. It was a mixture of his old anti depressants and painkillers along with some sedatives he had found. He thought of his husband and how his blonde hair shone in the sunlight, and how his blue eyes looked when he was exited. Merlin hoped he would find someone new to love, someone who would be good for him. He knew they would all be sad at first but he couldn't face the constant fear that the trio would come for him again. He slowly drifted off as the sedatives took effect and his eyes closed.

Out in the woods William was having trouble with the dogs, they didn't want to go with him. Isolde in particular was whimpering and wanting to go back. He didn't normally have this problem with them, so in the end he turned back the way he came. Gwaine was surprised to see his son back and as he let them in the back door the two dogs pulled away from William and ran barking to the master bedroom.

Gwaine paled, "Stay here son, don't move!" he ran after the dogs, worried at what he would find. Gwen came into the kitchen just as Gwaine ran out; she saw William and asked him what the matter was. He told her he wasn't sure but his dad had told him to wait, so she gave him a drink and told him to sit down.

Within seconds she heard Gwaine shouting for help and ran to see what had happened. As she got to the hallway she heard Gwaine shout to Kay to call an ambulance. As she went into the master she saw Merlin lying on the bed with a pill bottle and the letters by the side of him.

"Gwen send William home and get Mithian please. Merlin's still alive, but I don't know if we can keep him that way." Gwaine was as near to panicking as Gwen had ever seen him.

Gwen went back to the kitchen as quickly as she could. "William your dad said for you to go home. Thank you for looking after the dogs. I'm coming with you as your dad wants your mum to come and see Merlin he's not well."

Gwen took William as quickly as she dared to the cottage and saw Mithian in her garden.

"Mithian can you go to see Merlin please, I'll stay with the children."

Something in Gwen's voice told Mithian it was important, as she went past Gwen the other girl whispered. "I think he's taken an overdose."

Mithian ran as fast as she could into the bungalow.

Arriving in the bedroom she quickly took in the scene. "Do you know what he took?" she asked Gwaine who was trying to wake Merlin.

"No, it looks like he had a mixture in the bottle; there were a few on the floor." He showed Mithian.

"Looks like anti depressant, sedatives his strong painkillers." Mithian said as she took Merlin's respiratory rate which was very slow she then took his pulse which was weak and irregular.

She slapped Merlin hard across the face. "Wake up Merlin, come on look at me. Gwaine get his oxygen." Gwaine turned and grabbed the mask hanging on the oxygen cylinder in the corner of the room and switched the bottle on. He gave the mask to Mithian who opened Merlin's airway as much as she could and placed the mask over Merlin's face. She continued to shout and try to wake the unconscious man up as they waited for an ambulance