The next morning Arthur had trouble getting Merlin out of bed and when he did he refused breakfast and just sat and stared into space. Arthur went up to him and tried to get him to talk but in the end got cross.
"Look Merlin I know you're upset but you can't do this. I won't have you giving up again like before, your failure to thrive was just another name for I give up and you're not going to. It's not fair on anyone. Finna needs you she doesn't know where her playmate is. And I need you, so come on; Isolde wouldn't have wanted you like this."
At Isolde's name Merlin looked up at Arthur. "I need her Arthur."
"Well you can't have her Merlin, she was old and is now at peace." Arthur knelt and put his arm around Merlin. "She went the way she would have wanted to, now come on Gwaine's taken Finna out for her walk, come and have something to eat and then I want you to give Finna some attention….ok" Arthur looked Merlin in the eye. "Please for me."
Merlin leant forward and hugged Arthur "For you and Finna."
Merlin hardly ate anything but he did try, he wanted to stop Arthur being cross with him. Finna was soon back from her walk. She ran up to Merlin wagging her tail. While she liked all the staff Merlin was her best friend and made no secret of the fact. Gwaine was also happy to see Merlin sitting eating.
"You wanting to go to the pool Merlin?" Gwaine wanted to know.
"Later I'm going to play with Finna first." Merlin looked at Arthur before continuing "Is Iseldir coming today?"
"Yes he'll be here just after lunch, so go to the pool before then."
Merlin played with Finna then reluctantly went to the pool with Gwaine. Gwaine noticed that Merlin was rather quiet but didn't say anything; he felt that the CPN was the best person to deal with Merlin's low mood.
When Iseldir arrived he spoke to Arthur as the blond man let him in. Arthur explained about Isolde and also that Merlin had at first refused to eat and been withdrawn that morning. Arthur explained he was worried that Merlin was going to sink once more. Iseldir thanked Arthur and promised to keep a close eye on Merlin for awhile.
Merlin was sitting in the lounge cuddling Finna when Iseldir found him. They spent some time talking about the death of Isolde. Iseldir listened to Merlin as he talked about his feelings and emotions, but he got the feeling Merlin was holding back something. Try as he might he couldn't get Merlin to say more so the CPN suggested several coping strategies Merlin could use, to cope with his grief. Iseldir also discussed the need for Merlin to ensure he didn't slip backwards. They arranged to see each other again the next afternoon.
The meetings carried on for several days then the weekend came round once more. On Friday afternoon Arthur had a phone call from Miranda asking if he could pick her up from the station. She was coming straight from college, Morgana and Leon would be coming in the morning as usual. So at five o'clock Arthur set off to collect her. When she got in the car the first thing she asked was how Arthur was, then she asked how her Uncle Merlin was coping. She had already heard about Isolde.
"I hope he's not taking it too badly, and Uncle don't forget, we're all here for you, don't try to cope on your own."
Arthur was amazed at how mature Miranda was, it hardly seemed that long ago that she was a child and now she was a young adult.
"I'm fine Miranda, Uncle Merlin is taking it hard, but his CPN has been helping him, just try to keep him busy this weekend will you?" he smiled at his niece.
"Of course, but I will also look after you, you are my favourite after all." They laughed together.
As soon as they arrived at the bungalow Miranda ran into the lounge and sat next to Merlin and gave him a hug. "Hi Uncle, I'm so sorry about Isolde, but at least you were with her." She smiled at Merlin but tears were waiting to fall.
"I know Miranda, I miss her so, she's buried under the apple tree." Merlin pulled the young lady into his side.
"Uncle I've got something for you. I bought it for Christmas, but I think you should have it now." She picked up a small box up from behind her and handed it to Merlin.
He carefully opened it and took out a small china Jack Russell terrier. It's markings were identical to Isolde's. "I did wonder whether to take it back, but I thought you might like it as a reminder." With that Miranda started to cry.
Merlin looked at the small dog before turning once more to his niece. "Thank you, I will always treasure it, that was thoughtful of you, I don't want to pretend she never existed I want to remember her."
They sat there together in silence until Arthur came into the room having put the car away.
"Look Arthur, Miranda gave me a present."
Arthur took the ornament from Merlin. "I can see why you are both crying. It's lovely where do you want it put?"
"Up on the mantel piece, where I can see her please." Merlin was genuinely pleased with the gift.
"Now I have both of you together I have something I want to ask you both." Miranda paused.
"That sounds worrying" Arthur said pulling her leg.
"I'm eighteen this year and Mum and Dad are going to let me have a party, I want you both to come. Now before you say no Uncle Merlin, I'd like you to think about it. There will be lots of people there but you are very important to me. I can't celebrate unless you are there to. Please think about it."
Merlin looked at her "You don't need me poppet, you'll have all your friends there."
"If necessary I won't invite them I want you to come!...please." Miranda was obviously very serious.
"Let us think about it Miranda, I'll defiantly come but Uncle Merlin needs to think about it….give him time. Ok" Arthur knew they would have an uphill battle to talk Merlin into going. "One other thing are you also having a twenty first birthday party and which one will be the special one?
She hugged Arthur knowing she had him on her side. "Oh no my twenty first is my special party. I'm having this one before I go off to Oxford for university. I'm going to invite all of you. It will be fun."
"Just how many are going to this party?" Arthur grinned at her.
"Oh, about a hundred!" Miranda had obviously been planning this for awhile.
Merlin blanched at the thought. "That's a lot of people in your mum's house."
"Oh no, were going to use Grandpa's old house. Then people can stay. After all I've got to use it sometime's and it's mine when I'm eighteen. Then some people can stay over if they want." Miranda had no idea of the controversy of Uther's will. "Mum was going to ask you but I wanted to."
Arthur looked at his niece "I'll speak about it with your mum, but we need to think ok?" Miranda picked up on her uncle's tone of voice and left the subject.
Later that night when the two men were in bed Merlin turned to Arthur. "You never said that Miranda was having the family home, do you mind?"
Arthur looked at Merlin "Well, father left the bulk of his estate to Miranda; she was his only grandchild after all. Even if it had come to me she would have had it in the end. No Merlin, I don't mind, I didn't want anything of his, my mother left me all I'll ever need and I've always been paid well."
"I suppose so, but you were his only son." Merlin was puzzled.
"Merlin, just drop it ok. You know we didn't part on good terms. I knew what was happening and it's no problem." Arthur really didn't mind but the way it had been done still upset him.
Merlin seldom heard that tone from Arthur so dropped it. But decided he would ask Morgana in the morning. When Morgana and Leon arrived the party plans soon came up. Morgana was cross her daughter and already mentioned it. She had wanted to ask Arthur about the house when they were on their own. She knew he wouldn't mind, but even so she would have liked to have run it past him first. Then before she had chance to speak privately to her brother Merlin managed to get her on her own and he started to ask questions.
"Merlin you need to ask Arthur it's not up to me" she told him.
"He won't tell me. He told me to drop it." Merlin was determined to find out what had happened.
Morgana took a deep breath. "Look Merlin Uther didn't leave Arthur anything, he left me some money but most of the estate went to Miranda when she was eighteen. Arthur didn't mind at the time and he doesn't now."
"Was it because of me?" Merlin was tenacious when he wanted to be.
"Merlin I'm sorry I'm not saying anymore, and I suggest you drop it if that's what Arthur asked." Morgana walked away.
She went to find Arthur and told him about her conversation with Merlin.
"Why couldn't he drop it? I didn't want him to know, he'll only blame himself." Arthur was annoyed.
"Look Arthur you shouldn't keep secrets from him, just tell him he'll understand, he's not as fragile as you think and he's no fool." Morgana wasn't going to be caught in the middle. She walked off to find her daughter.
Arthur gave it some thought and then asked Merlin to go to his office with him. There he told Merlin about Uther's will. As expected, Merlin was livid that he should be the reason for the breakdown between Arthur and his family.
"Look Merlin, it didn't matter then or now. As I told you before, Miranda is the only grandchild, and she would have had it all anyway in the end so please drop it. I didn't want anything from him; he was a bigoted old man. I didn't tell you then because I didn't want you to blame yourself. It was his decision not yours, and we mustn't let it cause disagreement between us or he's won." Arthur pleaded with Merlin.
Merlin realising he was just upsetting his husband so let the matter drop. But he still felt to blame, and it added to the guilt he was already feeling. He decided there and then that if Arthur wanted to go to the party he would go and cope somehow.
Later that weekend Merlin approached Leon. "Can I have a word Leon?"
Leon looked at Merlin hoping it wasn't about Uther's will. "Yes of course where shall we go?"
"Come down the garden with me." With that Merlin got into his wheelchair and took Finna outside. Leon followed.
"Leon you know I made my will sometime ago, well I would like to do it all now instead of waiting till I die." Merlin looked at Leon expecting an argument.
"Well Merlin I can only advise you against that. The compensation was to ensure you had the means to look after all your needs, not for you to give it away." Leon was puzzled at what Merlin was doing.
"Arthur has more than we will ever need. I know he has made me his beneficiary should anything happen. I don't want the money I never did, it's their money. But I do want to help other people and they would benefit more now that later. So how can I get it all organised?" Merlin was determined.
"Have you discussed this with Arthur?" Leon wanted to know.
"It's my money Leon."
"Look just talk to him and I'll sort it out, but I want you to be sure. It's a lot of money. You haven't used hardly any and the interest has been building up, please just talk to Arthur." Leon hoped Merlin would do as he asked as he couldn't break client confidentiality and knew if Merlin was determined he would go to someone else if he didn't agree to help.
"I'll think about it." Merlin turned and went back to the bungalow upset that Leon was being difficult.
The weekend soon passed and nothing more was said about the party, Uther's will or Merlin's wish to give his money away but they were all clouds over the horizon.