Four days had gone and passed before Lena finally found Lillian's location. She'd used her one resource in the police department… Maggie Sawyer, because… quite frankly she owed Lena one after locking her up for no reason all those years before, and she knew Alex would be against Lena tracking down her 'mother.'
Maggie had given her a list of all of Cadmus' known hideouts. Which was precisely what Lena had needed.
She used the list to hack into the security cameras around each hideout and waited. She waited by the screen of her computers, watching it like a hawk for any sign of Lillian, and when she finally caught sight of her, a feeling of rage she hadn't known she was capable of feeling overwhelmed her… She was going to get revenge on Lillian for hurting Kara.
For hurting her.
For hurting their relationship.
And she was going to take her down as soon as she did.
XXX
She delivered it by drone, not stupid enough to try to walk into a building that her mother had complete control over.
It was a simple message. Date, Time, and place. A message that she hoped would summon her mother.
8-13-18. 12:30 pm. Lab D
It did the job as she watched Lillian read the note and roll her eyes before she nodded into the drone's camera.
And that was where she currently was. Waiting in the basement lab at L-Corp… The same one that she'd held Sam in while she was going through her Reign phase.
She was unnerved, to say the least, but she hoped that she had thought her plan through thoroughly enough to catch her mother by surprise.
She was running the plan over in her mind again when a familiar cold voice startled her.
"Well, you found me… What the hell do you want, Lena? Have you finally come to terms with the fact that Supergirl could never trust you the way she claimed to? I mean, honestly Lena… She had no problem believing that you cheated on her."
Lena ground her teeth but kept counting her mother's foot steps.
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"It has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with her insecurities. I have been quite busy the past few months; perhaps she just thought I wasn't happy… but that will change, Mother. As soon as you tell me how to reverse the Gray Mercy.
Lillian scoffed. "And why on Earth would I do that? Have you seen the news? Supergirl has gone off the rails. She barely goes out, and when she does, she's very much off her game. Think that has anything to do with you, sweetie?"
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Lena swirled around in her chair and glared at her adoptive mother. "No, mother. It has everything to do with you. You're the one that did this to her. You're the one that has hurt us both insurmountably. You're the one that's going to fix this. Or so help me…"
Lillian smirked, and took the last three remaining steps, placing her in the exact spot Lena needed her in. "So help you what, Lena? You're going to turn me over to the authorities again?"
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Lena smirked and shook her head, pulling out a remote from her pocket and making sure her mother saw that she pushed the red button in the center. "No, mother… Or so help me I'll go Luthor on your ass." She smirked as Lillian's face drained of color when the cage in which Lena held Reign, came to life, entrapping Lillian.
"You can't do this!" Lillian attested. "I am your MOTHER!"
Lena pursed her lips and slowly shook her head no. "You've made it perfectly clear my entire life that I am not your daughter. That I am not loved. That I am not wanted, so no, Lillian… you aren't my mother. My mother is dead, and you're going to wish you were too if you don't tell me how to reveres the Gray Mercy's effects on Kara."
Lena fought back a laugh as Lillian fought fruitlessly to escape the clutches of the cage. "That cage held a Kryptonian Worldkiller... do you honestly believe a sixty-year-old human is going to be able to escape its clutches?"
Lillian snarled at her adoptive daughter. "Let. Me. Out."
Lena shook her head. "Not until you tell me how to get my fiancée back."
"Maybe talk to her about her insecurities instead of selfishly expecting her to only focus on the ones of your own. You wouldn't be in this mess if she felt she could talk to you." Lillian grinned as she saw a mixture of guilt, heartache, and regret cover Lena's face. "I'm right, aren't I? You only ever talked about your worries, but never hers. It's always been this way with you, Lena. Always about your feelings, always about you… Never about those around you. You may have lost a lot, darling… but it still pales in comparison to what She has gone through. Shouldn't you have thought about her feelings too? You claim to love her, but you didn't even think to ask about her feelings? Her worries? Her doubts? Honestly, Lena, I knew you were pathetic, but I never thought you-,"
"SHUT UP!" Lena yelled as she slammed the button that muted the chamber. Her heart ached at the realization that Lillian was right. She hadn't thought to ask Kara about her feelings. She had always just assumed that Kara knew that Lena was hers, and only hers. She thought Kara was confident, and realized that Lena was irrevocably attracted to, and irreversibly in love with Kara and Kara only.
She hadn't made sure of it though... She'd always come to Kara saying that she was scared she was losing her. Scared that Kara wasn't happy, scared that Kara was going to leave her for another some day…. Even after all the times Kara had proven to be the most loyal person on the planet.
Kara most likely felt that coming to Lena about her own insecurities would push Lena over the edge and think their relationship was doomed.
She let out a sob, and then put up the one-way glass so Lillian couldn't see her cry… She was right. She was a terrible fiancée, and Kara could do so much better than her.
XXX
Lena was sitting in her office, crying over everything that had happened that day; when she got the text she'd been waiting for, for over a month.
Kara: Up for meeting me at Noonan's tomorrow tonight? 6?
Lena's heart ached as she read the message.
Lena: I don't deserve to have you in my life Kara.
She held her breath as she waited for a response.
Kara: You're the one that wouldn't leave me alone… Do you want to try to be friends or not?
Lena swallowed back the lump in her throat as she re-read the message, and then replied.
Lena: Yes, sorry… I'll be there.
Kara: *Thumbs Up Emoji*
She let out a shaky breath as she realized that now she was going to have to do something about Jess until this situation blew over… and it couldn't be anything cruel; after all, Jess was a silent, and incredibly innocent, bystander.
She wracked her mind for anything that could get Jess out of the city for a while, and then came up with the perfect solution. She reached for her com and pushed the call button. "Jess, would you please come here for a moment."
"Certainly Miss Luthor." Came the instant reply seconds before Lena's office door opened. "You needed to see me, Miss Luthor?"
Lena smiled and nodded. "Jess, you've done exceptional work for the past four years… I think it's about high time I award you for that."
She opened her purse and pulled out a credit card. "This is the company's credit card. I want you to use it to take you and one other person back tracking across Europe. Asia. Africa. Australia. Whatever you want; and I want you to take at least two months doing it… at least. Do you understand? Have fun, relax, enjoy your life and make new friends take as long as you'd like."
Jess' eyes were wide open. "Is… is this a test, because I have no idea what to say right now."
Lena laughed. "Say yes and take the card, Jess."
And say yes she did…
Now, to never speak Jess' name to Kara again and everything should be fine. OR at least… as fine as they could be under these circumstance.
XXX
That night, Lena laid in bed contemplating everything about her life. She had failed Kara as a fiancée, she had failed Kara as a partner, she had failed everything…. And now she was paying the ultimate price… She'd lost Kara.
XXX
She hated that everything Lillian said was true. She also hated that she was sitting at Noonan's fidgeting relentlessly at the expectation of seeing the love of her life for the first time since she left Lena.
She heard the door's bell ring and looked to find a nervous Kara scouring the room.
When their eyes met, Lena's heart sank… Those ocean-blue orbs she'd fallen in love with all those years ago, weren't radiating with joy and love like they usually were; instead they were clouded, and her face was morphed into one of sadness.
Kara walked over to her, and offered her a pained smile. "Hi." She croaked out.
Lena waved, not knowing what to say besides. "I-I bought you a coffee… it's pumpkin spice, with extra cinnamon."
Kara offered her a half smile. "My favorite."
Lena gulped and nodded as she slowly slid it across the table.
"I miss you." She whispered, her eyes focusing every where but Kara.
"Don't." Kara said sternly, shaking her head. "I said I'd try to be your friend, but I made it clear I don't want you back romantically so just don't."
Lena tried her hardest to keep her lip from quivering as she spoke. "I'm sorry." She said in a broken, shaky voice. "I just don't know what else to say."
Kara nodded. "I guess we're in the same boat."
Lena offered her a small, sad smile. "Well... how are you? How's life?"
Kara's heart burst and she stood up. It hurt too much.
Seeing Lena, hearing her voice… knowing that she'd been unfaithful, the memory of her and Jess on Lena's desk… it stung her like a thousand bees surrounding her heart. "I can't do this. I h-have to go. I'll try again some time soon." She said as she threw five dollars on the table to repay Lena for the coffee.
Lena tried to grab Kara's hand, but Kara yanked it away as if Lena were fire. "Wait… Kara, please." She pleaded desperately.
Kara looked her in the eyes and shook her head. "I can't Lena." She asserted as tears gushed from her eyes. "It hurts to see you. It hurts to hear your voice. It hurts just to feel your hand rub against mine. You broke me, Lena… and I'm trying very hard to get past that and get our friendship back, but I'm still just… a shell. You were what my life was built around. You were my foundation, but you cracked it… you decimated it, really, and now I don't know what I'm supposed to do but pretend to be okay, because pretending can only get me so far, Lena. I hate being angry at people. I hate holding grudges, and I thought I could fight through this and have coffee with you. I thought I could get past my anger and be your friend again, but I can't. I need more time. Because every time I look at you I really just want to die, and that's not something I can just get past."
The pain that Kara's monolog caused Lena was insuperable. IT felt as if a bull had run horn-first into her chest while a starving wolf gnawed at her stomach. "K-Kara, please. I'll do anything."
But Kara just turned and left… breaking Lena even further.
Tearfully, Lena shakily collected the two cups of coffee and exited the restaurant. She got into the car and made up her mind… Lillian wasn't going to get to sit in that cell and play the silent game… She was going to tell Lena how to reverse this, and if she didn't? Well… She may have failed Kara romantically, but when it came to protecting when, Lena could be just as crazy as Lex.