Notes: Episode 170, "Night of Destiny! The Sailor Senshi's Crisis" (Or, "The one where Usagi flies off and the Senshi follow.")

Episode 170

It's hard to watch them leave.

It's always hard to watch people leave. I'm not good at goodbyes, even if just for ten minutes. "What if it's the last time?" some part of me will say. I tell myself I'm being silly, and I know that I am.

Only sometimes I'm right. This horrible, cruel thing I don't ever want to be right about. Ami-chan has a word for that, I think, but I can't remember it.

Mamo-chan and Chibi-Usa turn and wave at me before they disappear down the steps. I have to stop myself from running after them and begging them to not leave. I've spent a whole day holding them and touching them. I want to see Mamo-chan's smile instead of the empty glow in his eye. I want to hold Chibi-Usa and forget what it was like to feel her fade away in my arms. I don't want them to go.

But I know they have to. Chibi-Usa will be returning home soon. I don't know what happened between her and Mamo-chan, but I think it hurt her a lot. I know what that's like. They need time together, just them. I need time just with the others, too, so I get it. I'm just not that strong. I want everyone around me, all the time.

It's hard, but I turn away and go back inside where the others are waiting.

Rei-chan's room's neater than mine, and it's kind of aggravating. We all came here after … After. All of us, sharing stories about what happened, trying to heal each other's wounds. Haruka and the others left last night. With Mamo-chan and Chibi-Usa gone too, I thought the room would feel empty. I see my friends and know that's impossible.

I fling myself at them, knowing they'll catch me. Mako-chan does, and as her arms come around me, everything else melts away. Luna always tells me how I'm supposed to be, how important the ginzuishou is for protecting the world. How am I supposed to do better than a Mako-chan hug? There's no way.

Minako-chan squirms into the hug too. She grins at me and I know my face looks just the same. In unison, we grab Mako-chan and each other. I want to tell Minako-chan how much I love her, how glad I am that she's okay, but I'm too much of a crybaby and it only comes out as tears. I feel her hold me tighter and know she understands anyway.

Someone's hand is on my face, gently brushing my tears away, and I turn to see Ami-chan. She's crying too, we're both crying. Cleaning each other up is a huge failure, but we keep trying anyway. I think she's embarrassed, though I can't understand why. Doesn't she know she's Ami Mizuno? How can someone so smart be so silly?

This isn't our first hug since we got home. I don't even think it's our tenth. Tenth hundred, maybe. It's the first where someone's missing, though, and it's not until I feel hands on my shoulders that my tummy can relax.

It probably shouldn't, though. Rei-chan's mad at me.

I feel the warmth of her behind me. She's only standing there, but she seeps inside like she always does. As I sink back against her, I'm afraid for a moment that standing there is all she'll do. But of course it's not, she's Rei-chan. Her arms come around me and the others embrace us both, and we're whole.

They pull away first. Ami-chan's doing regular scans of Mako-chan to make sure she's okay, and as Minako-chan follows them out the room, she's already retelling the story about how she made Setsuna-san laugh.

"You shouldn't be standing so much," Rei says. I think she means it to sound harsher than it does, but I'm sure not gonna push for it. She steers me toward the bed and forces me to sit. "Your feet are a mess."

It's tough, but I stay still while she examines the bandages. It's hard not to giggle, she looks so serious! I don't though. Like I said, I'm pretty happy with her not sounding too harsh.

"Do you know WHY your feet are a mess?"

Is this a trick question? "Well the snow was pretty cold and hard," I reply, though trying not to think about it too much. "And the thorns were—"

I guess that's the wrong answer. Rei gives me that same look like when I want a sundae after my third pizza. "Your feet are a mess because you left without us."

Oh.

"You left without ME."

Ohhhhh.

I want to apologize, I really do. I know she wants me to say I'm sorry and that I was wrong and I'll never do it again. I can't. I can't lie to her.

"She had Mamo-chan," I say.

"I know that."

"And Chibi-Usa was fading away."

"I KNOW, but—"

"She wanted to hurt all of you. She was going to. She DID."

"Dammit, Usagi, we—"

"What was I supposed to do, Rei-chan? Let her pick off everyone I love?" I can hear the anger in my own voice but I can't stop it.

"Yes!" She jumps up and starts stomping around the room. "How am I supposed to protect you when you go running off like that?!"

"Flying!" I yell back.

Rei-chan looks as stunned as I feel, and for a second we just blink at each other.

"I ... I flew off, I didn't run." I have no idea why this is important, but I guess it is.

"Flying," she agrees.

She doesn't sound as angry now. Good. I like it when we fight, but I hate when we FIGHT. She runs a hand through her hair and sighs then stares at me. She looks so sad. I can't cry now, don't cry.

"I'm supposed to be there."

I can't help but smile. "You WERE there."

She glares at that. "No thanks to you."

"You're always there, Rei-chan." I can't figure out the look on her face, but it's true. I've got so much left to learn about … well, everything, but that much, I know. It doesn't matter where I go or what I do, she'll always be there.

But that won't end this, and I really want this ended. "Let's agree to take care of each other. Okay?" She doesn't budge. So stubborn! "Come on, you can start with my feet."

I lean back on my arms to lift my legs up and wiggle my toes at her. I can't see my smile, but I'm pretty sure it's super charming. See the way she rolled her eyes? That's victory, score one for Usagi! I'm pleased with myself, but I know better than to let her see how smug I feel about it. See, there's a few things I've already learned.

"Don't look so smug," Rei growls as she takes my ankle and starts to unwrap the bandages. Oops. Heh, well I did say I had a lot to learn. "You still shouldn't have FLOWN off without me," she insists, because god forbid Rei Hino let something go.

Maybe she's right, though. Not that I can put it like that if I ever want to hear her say anything else again. Nehellenia did prove one thing, and that's how we're strongest.

"Together, then," I say, and I instantly feel it's the right answer.

Except maybe it isn't, because Rei-chan's thinking that she's won, I can see it in her eyes. She's going to gloat. Oh no, this is a DISASTER. I have to stop this.

I do the only thing I can think of: I bop her on the nose with my big toe. She starts spluttering, and this time I don't even try to hold back the laughter. That brings in the others, and leave it to Minako-chan to take one little thing and make it a huge unforgettable thing. Before we know it, we're all laughing and crying and I know everything's going to be okay.

Us. Together. Always.

And Rei-chan not getting to say "I told you so."

Exactly how it should be.