I lay there, wide awake, lookin' at her. I'd almost forgotten how peaceful she looks sleepin'. I think 'bout last night, 'bout openin' up to her. She had been touchin' her wrist, I could see the scar clearly in the moonlight. It made me think of the harsh words I had said to her back at that cabin. They were out of anger, but they did their damage. I could see she's ashamed of herself. I knew she didn't have to be. I've felt it, too- that sudden desperation that anchors you down. You try to push on but you can only go so far before you're pulled back. It kills me that I ever held it against her. She probably thought I was some ass that felt he was above other people's pain. I needed her to know she wasn't alone. So I told her everything. An' she lay silently, takin' it all in.
I felt tellin' her wasn't enough. She needed to see me. I braced myself as I sealed my lips over her scar, hopin' she understood how much I care 'bout her. That I don't see the scar; I see the strength that grew from it. I pulled her up to sit in front of me. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath, so I reached out to my lifeline. My mouth met hers an' I tried to put everything I had into that moment. I needed her to know how much she means to me. What I was goin' to do scared the shit outta me an' I knew that meant it could scare her, too. I guess I thought she may never want to look at me again when I showed her, an' I had to feel her against me one last time.
I completely exposed myself to her. Frozen by my own fear. I heard the little sound she made. I wanted to cover myself back up, to make her forget what she'd seen. I don't know how long I sat there but I felt vulnerable for the first time since I was a fuckin' kid. The only people to ever see these scars were my father, my brother an' Hershel when he mended me up after his fuckin' horse threw me off. But Hershel was a good man. He never asked me any questions.
Just when I thought it was over, that my weakness would finally put an end to me once revealed, she came through for me. Again. I heard her shift an' felt her arms squeeze me to her. She had been cryin', my shoulder was wet with her tears. I wanted to tell her I was alright. That she didn't have to cry over me. 'Specially not over somethin' from a life so far away from where I am now. I turned to look at her, my face a mask. Then I watched as she crawled 'round to my front an' she climbed in my lap. I didn't even know I had held my breath but, when she put her arms 'round my neck, I let out a deep sigh. It was relief. I know that now. She had fallen asleep with me again. I had to admire the only person who could tear away my walls an' still leave me standin'. When I knew she was out, I kissed her ear an' whispered that I loved her.
Lookin' at her sleepin' next to me, I know that I'm in love with her. Love's always seemed like a joke to me. I never thought someone's whole world could revolve 'round one person in the center. But I know that I'd do anything to make her happy, to keep her at my side an' keep her alive. Somewhere in all the chaos of our last few weeks, a change had started in me. I found myself lookin' forward to the way she smiled at me. The way she wants to be next to me. I can't help but feel like an idiot. But I know she doesn't see it that way. I'm gonna tell her I love her. She had told me we wanted the same thing. This has to be what she meant.
I decide to wake her up, figure we could go out on another hunt before we set off again. It'd be the best way to tell her. I shake her arm. She looks up at me with big, tired eyes, her hair's a fuckin' mess. I can't look away from her. She smiles at me, sits up an' kisses me. I feel stupid when I think I can get used to wakin' up like this everyday. Love makes you stupid, I guess. I open up the tailgate, climb out as I'm buttonin' up my shirt. Then I look back at her.
"You don't have to put that shirt back on, if you don't want to. I won't mind none." She's flirtin' with me. I laugh at her as she hands me my vest. Then I reach back to pull her out. Her hand folds into mine, completely natural now. She drops on the ground, a firm grip on my arm to steady herself. I look down to see her smilin' up at me. She's fuckin' gorgeous. I'm lookin' forward to headin' out in the woods with her again. But her face drops as she looks in front of me. When I turn to see what it is, a fist catches me in the jaw.
I think the shock got to me more than the pain. Judgin' on how Maggie was holdin' that hand, I guess hers was more pain than the shock of strikin' me. She screams at me to explain what she's seein'. I didn't want this to be how we told her, so it ain't like I had a reason on the tip of my tongue. Beth steps in front of me.
"Maggie, don't do this." Her voice is quiet, pleadin'. Maggie looks at me when she talks to her.
"What're you doin' sleepin' in that truck with him?" Her voice is raw, tears shinin' in her eyes. I don't know if it's the pain in her hand or her anger.
"Maggie, please. I wanted to tell you, really. I just didn't know how to bring it up without you freakin' out." Maggie's face is red, she laughs at what Beth's said.
"I'm not freakin' out! Why does everybody keep sayin' that? Is it too much for me to care about the only flesh an' blood I have left? I know you're lonely Beth. I get that, I really do. But we're headed to Washington. You could find a nice boy there. You don't need to tangle up with the first man that'll have you!" Beth's cheeks flame at that comment. My tongue is between my teeth, almost drawin' blood at my attempt to shut up. Beth lets out a little cry, an' I look into her face. She's breakin' right in front of me. I do the only thing I can think of an' knot our fingers together. I don't know if it's smart or stupid. Maggie's eyes meet our hands, the look could burn the hell outta us. But I don't let her go. Beth takes strength in me.
"I don't want to find someone else. I care about Daryl an' he cares about me. We've been through a lot together, things you can't even imagine. An' I'm not 'tanglin' up' with anybody. I have feelin's for him an' I know he shares them. How can you be so in love with Glenn an' try to deny me the same chance with the man I choose? I want you to be happy for me, I need you to accept this." Maggie's hand wipes away at her eyes. She looks between the two of us before she focuses on me.
"Can I have a word with you? Alone?" Beth goes to say somethin' but I stop her. Maggie deserves that much.'Sides, I doubt she'd take another swing at me. I nod to her an' she sets off in the trees. I squeeze Beth's hand before I take off after her sister. We get out 'bout thirty yards before she stops an' turns to me.
"What, no crossbow?" Her voice is venom. But it's still only Maggie. I can't help but smirk a little at her attempt to fight with me. I shrug.
"You said you wanted to talk. Didn't think I'd need the protection." She's pissed off, but her eyes don't look as wild now. I can tell she's tryin' to calm herself down.
"I need to know what exactly is goin' on with the two of you. That's my little sister back there lookin' up at you like some diamond in the sky." I scratch at my jaw, tryin' to think of the best way to smooth this over. Far's I'm concerned, I don't give a shit what anybody thinks 'bout us bein' together now that they know we are. Deep down, I know Beth needs her sister to accept us. I just don't know what else there is to tell her.
"Beth pretty much said it all." She rolls her eyes at me. The anger is all but gone, replaced with impatience.
"That's bullshit. But she made it pretty clear how she sees y'all. The girl's crazy about you. How about you? Do you love her?" I look to the ground. How can I say it out loud to her sister but hesitate with her? But she thinks Beth's in love with me, too. I know I have to put myself out there.
"Yes." My voice is low, but she heard me. Her eyes search my face for signs of deception, but come up empty. Her whole appearance changes. She looks like she might even smile at me.
"You're a good man, Daryl. I meant what I said before about you bein' family. I know she's safer with you than any other guy she'd meet." I catch her stare an' know she's bein' honest. We start to head back to the camp.
"I really am sorry that I hit you back there. I don't know what came over me." I shrug.
"I get it. If I had a little sister crawlin' outta some truck with a grown ass man, I woulda done the same thing. Lucky you didn't have your gun out." She laughs at me an' carries on. We almost make it back to the camp when she stops an' spins 'round to face me.
"I'm gonna trust you to do right by her. I know I don't have any choice in the matter. I can't keep you two from bein' together, but I will make myself clear. If you hurt her, Daryl Dixon, I swear it'll be my gun aimin' for your face next time."
Far's I'm concerned, it's an empty threat. I have no intentions of ever hurtin' Beth. But I appreciate knowin' that I ain't the only one who'd walk through fire for the girl.