"Come on Bethy," I smiled bumping my hip with the younger girl. "Let's go do some laundry." She nodded before slowly standing up grabbing a basket swinging it on her hip like I had. "Now the good thing about washing clothes in a zombie apocalypse is you don't have to sort the colors."

Beth laughed along with me as we exited the cell block out onto the courtyard. "And the loads are smaller."

"And who cares about towels." I chimed in setting the makeshift baskets on the ground by a medium sized bucket filled with water. I sat down on the prison lunch table placing the water bucket between my legs. My eyes trailed upward meeting a clear blue sky, not a cloud or speck out of place; it was perfect and completely ironic. I looked back down picking up one of Glenn's blood stained shirts and dipping it in the water. "How are you feeling?"

"I am happy everyone's okay right now," she said to me following the same actions as I did. I knew she had done this before with Carol, but I liked to think Beth and I had a stronger relationship. "I just sometimes wish everything was back to normal."

"Doesn't everybody…" I retorted playfully. I frowned as I looked at her moving my hands without recognition. "Do you miss your mom?"

Beth sighed. "Every day." She squinted up at me. "Do you miss yours?"

I nodded smiling sheepishly looking back at my handy work. "My parents were a little oblivious to everything that was going on. My dad was still best friend with my assaulter; my father let him inside our home, inside my life, just to ruin it. I couldn't have a childhood with him in it. My mother cared about me but she just put on a smile most of the time to please my needs, she loved my father more than her children." I took a sharp intake of breath. "My brother, Keegan, was the only one special to me. He knew exactly what I needed him for and when. He made sure I was always okay, and even when he told our parents what was going on they still allowed the rapist inside our home. When it all went down he came to my rescue; he always does."

"You seem so innocent after everything that happened?" she inquired not daring to shy away from my eyes. She knew I trusted her.

"I clung to innocence so much it swallowed me." I tried to smile. "I became weak and powerless as time went on. I was always scared. I tried to make up for my lost adolescents. This, this dooming time, this is what woke me up; this is what made me realized I need to grow up and fight against the things that try to break me down."

Beth chuckled. "Not Daryl?"

"Daryl he-he…" I trailed off trying to place my thoughts. It was so hard because I repressed most of my memory of that day when I came to my conclusions. "He made me want to fight I guess. I wanted to be by him and he was always fighting."

"I wish I could love someone like you do Rose." Beth leaned against my shoulder in a strange sort of hug. I liked it.

I shook my head. "No you don't; not now at least. Everyone dies. Getting attached and caring about someone that may die is heart wrenching. Every day I am terrified of Daryl dying and that makes me want to protect him instead of myself. It can get you killed."

She dug her hands into the water rinsing off baby vomit off one of Hershel's shirts. "Then why do you stay with him?"

"Because I love him," I laughed sarcastically at how ironic it was. "Because I wouldn't want to be in this mess with anyone else. I'm stupid and reckless for it. Look what happened because of it." I motioned to my belly that protruded slightly. My days were off, I had lost count. For some reason I could not place when everything happened. I could not reason with time to be on my side of this occasion. I was lost.

"You'll be a great mother." Beth was trying to be nice, but I knew I could never be a good mother. I was young just learning to raise myself. How could I bring such a child into this world? I could never be selfish again; I would always have to put the baby first whether that means my death or someone else's. This child would be my destruction.

I didn't' respond to here statement not wanting to bicker about the situation. I didn't like thinking about the coming infant, sometimes it was easy to forget it was even there; the only time I was reminded was when Daryl gave me extra portions, or decided to rub my shoulders or back. No one else really knew besides Daryl, Hershel, Merle, Rick, and Beth, who I had told two nights ago not wanting to cry to Daryl about my fears of the thing. People would start finding out. I couldn't ignore the fact I was going to blow up soon. "I think that's it." I huffed kicking the clothes filled bucket slightly away from me. "Better hang them before they get all wrinkled…not that it matters though."

"Rose?" Daryl called from the cell block door. "I made you some food." He began to exit the cell block making his way to where Beth and I had just begun to set the clothes up for hanging in the southern sun. I had not anticipated his arrival to be so quick as he came up suddenly slipping his hand around my bicep. "You're not supposed to be lifting heavy things."

I rolled my eyes. "Please stop hovering Daryl." I straighten one of Maggie's shirts out throwing it over the railing to dry. I knew Daryl would take a while before letting me to be allowed my own freedom.

Beth placed her arm on my wrist pushing me slightly. "Don't worry about it Rose, I got it. You go eat now and drink some water."

"Okay." I sighed giving my basket a slight kick towards Beth, she was the only one I allowed myself to take instructions from. Daryl tugged at my ring finger ushering me back to the cell block. I let the last ray of vitamin D rain upon my skin before I was pulled back into the dark, gloomy prison. I should have been adapted to the dank place, but who could ever adjust to a place when all you saw were the walls of your cell block. I rarely left the place unless Daryl would accompany me which he never did forcing me to remain inside. He was scared The Governor would show up again and I would be at the wrong place at the wrong time, but that is how this whole world worked. It always had to be the right time and place or you were walker food. Everything was a risk.

Daryl pushed the bowl towards me as we both sat down. "How are you feeling?"

I picked at the food. "Wish I could be outside for more than thirty minutes."

"Hey…" he trailed off reaching over to rest is hand on my arm. "You're safe. Doesn't that matter?"

"Yes Daryl," I turned to look at him, "But honestly I feel like I am becoming trapped in here. I get it, trust me, I understand your argument in the whole situation. But when I die; which I will someday, I do not want it to be in hat filthy cell block." I turned back to my food. "I am not a princess you can just lock away. You're starting to act just like Philip when he locked me away."

He recoiled his hand away from me. "You're just the first thing I really cared about that needs me; I don't want you to leave."

"Yeah well I didn't want you to leave, but you did." I snapped back at him, he looked down pain filling his eyes. "Chose your brother over me and then you come back just to make me sit in that grey room all day. You left me all alone and expect me to trust you and promise you I'll stay put like I am some sort of dog. I am not sure if I ever want to forgive you. I am not sure if I even want to love you anymore after what you put me through those days you were gone." I glared. "I am not that weak girl you can tuck away anymore. This world changes people Daryl."

"For the worst…" he shook his head standing up. Daryl walked a few paces before turning around. "What happened to you? I mean, I get it Rose, you don't want to be babied anymore, but frankly you can't take care of yourself. You're reckless and you don't think before you act. You nearly died because you're too stubborn to eat. You almost got killed by walkers. You constantly want people to believe you are some mighty hero, but running out in a field full of biters is not what people define a hero as." He walked forward a bit. "I don't know if you're moody or something, but you have a baby inside of you. I am sorry if I don't want the only love of my life to die. I did not know it was such a crime. When you're ready just come tell me what I can do to make this relationship better. I'm sick of this fighting." The fact he did not raise his voice set me on edge making me fling my arms out in front of me swiping them across the table sending my food flying. I did not know what was wrong with me? I was over Lori, I had accepted my foreshadowed death, I knew Philip would come after me, but why was I turning into a monster. I should respect Daryl's wishes for me to stay inside not wish to be outside where danger was always near. Then it hit me. I know understood my hatred for Daryl's wants for my safety and my resent for him leaving for his brother.

"What happened Rose?" Beth's voices asked me as she came back in from doing laundry. "Why is there food everywhere? Did you throw-up?"

I shook my head. "I got angry."

"Did you and Daryl have a fight?" I nodded. "About what this time?" Sometimes I hated Beth for always helping me when I had a problem maybe because she was younger than me. Her helping made me feel better though so I tried to look past the age gap and anger to try and let her logic get to me. "Same stuff ya?" I nodded again. "He loves you Rose, it does not take a smart person to see that. But you can't love someone who does not want love."

I sighed turning halfway to see her. "I love him too Beth. I-I-I am just sad."

She walked over to me grabbing both of my hands and bending down, bringing me back into my seat, to kneel in front of me. "Tell him why then. He wants you to tell him. He wants to know you know he cares." She let go of me indicating I should probably go find him. I knew he would be outside walking the lengths of the gate searching for any sign of danger. I knew if there was a breach he would come running for me even after my cruel words were shared. I hated that he stilled cared. I did not hate that he cared about me, I hated that he would still care even if I despised him. I hated he always came crawling back to me. I wanted us to be together, but as two separate, independent, brave people. Not with one always at the others feet begging to be neutered.

"Hey," I caught his attention at the fence and he turned to look at me. His face was void of emotion. "I am sorry about what I said. I did not mean it."

"I know," he nodded. "If you did you would have said it when I came back. You just said it to hurt me. Well, it worked." He huffed a breath of air. "I really wish you'd stop thinking I don't really care about you. I know you think I make you stay inside all day out of habit but that's not true."

I held up my hand to stop him right there. "No Daryl… I know you care, but that's not why I've been so cold recently." I sighed as he tilted his head sideways. "I did not realize it until today because it never really popped into my head."

"What is it Rose?" he asked taking strides towards me.

"I need my brother."