Wait, wait, wait. You, there! Author! Isn't there another girl?

Well, yeah, but 's cousin is in trouble, and we should probably-

No! Be the crazy girl! Be the crazy girl!

FINE. If you say so. We are now the crazy girl.

My name is Youtube.

I'm not crazy, okay? Don't say shit like that, not cool, bro.

-Swear to God, you're so stupid-

-Your mom is gay-

-PEEPLE LIK U SHULDN'T EVEN B ALIVE!-

I just hear voices a lot. That's all. A lot of them are angry and mad at me for reasons I can't really control, and some are nice, but thing is, there's just so many of them.

I think there could be a million of them. It's actually not that bad

SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I'LL KILL YOU! JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE! PLEASE! PLEASE! JUST BE QUIET!

I just hear a lot of voices a lot of the time.

My internet friends put up with a lot from me. -Never even seen an episode, how stupid do you have to be?- I don't know what they look like, because my dumb dad won't let me skype. Ugh. My dad's stupid. He doesn't get what it's like to be a kid nowadays. -OMG he's so hot!-

My dad's really really really really smart, like pretty much all-knowing. But he cannot dress to save his life, though, okay, he always wears these stupid white suits, with these really ugly multicolored ties that're red, yellow, blue and green. We live in the middle of nowhere in the middle of friggin' Sweden, Dad! Who're you trying to impress?!

-I love her music!-

-Sounds like a guy-

I spend a lot of my time alone. I get to hunt stuff, which is pretty beast. My dad won't eat anything I bring home though. I've never seen him eat. Whatevs, right? More for little old me. I've even made my own weapon, storing in my Like&Favorite Sylladex. The Strife deck's included in that, newest goddamn model right now, and I can 'Like' things into the deck, then I can 'Favorite' stuff into the strife deck. But I have to be careful what I hold and what I lose or else I'll never find a damn thing in here.

I'm using Boomerangkind, razor-edged little number called the Internet Argument.

WHAT DO YOU WANT? JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! QUIET THE DAMN BABY ALRIGHT! GOD! CANNOT EVEN SLEEP ANYMORE!

-No, YOU suck! XD-

I have a lot of scars on my hands from the stupid boomerangkind. They don't bleed very long, though.

In my pocket, my handheld buzzes. Ugh. What now? Maybe it's FFN bugging me for

more sexting.

[ (FFN) messaged Youtube! (YT)!]

FFN: I need your help!

FFN: BADLY!

YT: no need to shot bby mumys here ;)

FFN: Uh, no. Maybe later?

FFN: Do you know anything about a game called SBURB?

YT: whaddaayya wanna know?

YT: tell ya whver u want ;)

FFN: I sent a copy to my cousin, and now she's not talking to me.

YT: u read the instructions?

YT: so dum not to.

YT: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I'M TALKING TO MY FRIENDS! LEAVE ME ALONE!

FFN: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright.

FFN: What if I uh, hypothetically didn't read them?

YT: LOLLOLOLOLOLOL! TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO! SUX TO B U DUDE!

YT: ICE CREAM CAKAND SLIPPERY NIPLES FOR ALL MY FRIENDS!

FFN: ...I'm on the weird side of Youtube, aren't I?

I choose not to answer back to that. It's not his fault I had an episode. FFN's a nice guy, but he's sort of a ditz sometimes. He also can be a shit friend sometimes, but we're still friends.

Plus, sexting. I know it doesn't mean anything, at least it doesn't to me. That boy can dirty talk me into anything.

Hunting trip unsuccessful, I trudge home, back to dad. My dad's sitting in the living room, sitting in an armchair facing away from the door. All I see is the back of his shiny bald head.

-Gonna get it now!-

-Sa-mooth criminal!-

-U ok?-

I erase any sort of thoughts of FFN, in case my dad can read minds. Last thing I want him to know is that his daughter's been pulling her weight in perverted messaging.

"You Are Late."

I scuff a toe on the floor, not looking up at him.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, dad. Google."

"Just 'Dad', Youtube. Did You Catch Anything?"

I pull my sleeves down over my hands.

"Nope. Dead out there."

My scraggly blonde hair falls over my eyes. He doesn't respond, so I slip out the front door, carefully shutting it behind me. Then I'm running, pushing myself deeper into the woods. I head to an old cave, one that I've lugged a bucket of chalk to. I've drawn pictures of what I think my friends look like on the walls, along with me, and we're all having adventures and having fun. I've also brought my copy of 'The Great Gatsby' up here too. It's my favorite book, because it's really sad and Daisy and Gatsby should have ended up together, but they didn't.

I reach over to one of the drawings I've done of myself and smear the green sweater I drew myself wearing. Too skinny to look good in anything, let alone green.

Picking up a slice of white chalk, I draw a white circle, then add black with an itty-bitty bit of black chalk for eyes, nose, and mouth.

Then the snakebite piercing.

Dark blue for shirt, light blue for pants, and horn-rimmed glasses, because boys in glasses are always sexy.

Pressing my shoulder blades into the cave wall, I slide my hand over chalk FFN's. Slipping my handheld out of my pocket, I fire off a few messages to that boy in question.

YT: u ther?

YT: ur cuzin FW is fine. prbly found server player online nd is playin w/o u.

YT: u ther?