"Dad, maybe we should look for a house or somethin'. Somewhere for the winter?" I look into my son's eyes. It still amazes me how much he's grown. It feels like just yesterday I was tuckin' him in and readin' to him. I know he isn't that little boy anymore. Everything he's been through, the things he's seen. Carl's a man now. I place my hand on his back and smile at him.
"We'll see what we can find. But the sooner we get to D.C., the better. C'mon, let's finish packin' up the tents and gear." I take a moment to look around our camp. Since the cabin, we've been pretty lucky with walkers. With Daryl huntin' everyday, we've kept a steady supply of food and we still have bottles filled with that stream water. I see Glenn and Maggie have already packed their things, Sasha and Bob are still workin' on what they've got. I look over to Abraham, Rosita and Eugene. If I didn't know better, I'd think they were up at the crack of dawn gettin' ready to head out. Lookin' at all my people, I have to believe D.C. will be good for us.
I walk over to where Michonne and Carl are busy rollin' up the sleepin' bags. They're jokin' 'bout somethin' and I can't help but smile at them. She's really brought my son outta his shell. I don't know how I'd cope with him by myself. Lord knows I try. I hear twigs snappin' and look over in the direction where Daryl and Beth had set off earlier. Guess they're back already.
"Hope y'all brought us back somethin' good, Daryl." I keep my tone light, I know he'd never come back empty handed. Michonne chimes in.
"Hope y'all brought back some cheeseburgers." Carl and I laugh at her. Daryl shouts back to me, just before he steps outta the bushes.
"Y'all won't believe what we got." I look up to see Beth climbin' out behind him, holdin' the line of squirrels. I shake my head.
"More squirrels?" Daryl smirks at me, Beth's face is glowin'.
"Shit ton better than squirrels."
When Carol stepped outta that bush, I thought my heart would stop. I hated that I sent her off to fend for herself. She was one of my own, I loved her like family. But I feared for the sake of everyone in our group when she admitted to killin' Karen and David. I feared for her life when I thought about what Tyrese would do to her if he found out. Despite what's happened, I can't stop myself from runnin' up and throwin' my arms around her. She hugs me tightly. When I pull back to look her in the face, there's only one word I can say.
"How?" She smiles at me, wipes the tears from her eyes.
"I'll explain later." I look past her face to see Tyrese. He still doesn't know what Carol's done. In this moment, I'm eternally grateful that I didn't get the chance to tell him who killed the others. He would've killed her. When he approaches me I clap my hand to his shoulder. I mean to tell him how happy I am to see him, but the sound that reaches my ears silences me. I look between the four of them as they all smile at me. Beth goes behind Tyrese and works at his backpack. She comes back around to face me, and the sight of what's in her arms makes me fall to my knees. I'm vaguely aware of the cry that I let out.
When Carl and I left that prison, I was certain my daughter had been killed by walkers. The bloody car seat was the only evidence that she'd even been there, and it was the same proof that told me she was gone. It had been too much. I couldn't stand the thought of losin' her after I had already lost Lori. I thought the world had been cruel enough to take my wife, the mother of my two children. The thought that my daughter was also gone ripped away at the edges of my soul that had only just started to heal. Lori died to give life to our little girl, and I had thought I failed to keep her alive. It broke my heart and the pain of it ate away at me. But I pushed it all outta my mind. I had to focus on Carl.
Carl.
I'm back on my feet and I take Judith from Beth, holdin' her tightly to me. I turn to face my son, but he's still workin' on packin' our things. When I say his name, it's a broken sob. He looks up to me and time is thrown in slow motion. I know he's shouted somethin', but I'm deaf to the world around me. I see him as he runs over to me. When his sight falls on his little sister, he starts to cry. I wrap my arm around his shoulder. For the first time in weeks, I finally feel almost whole again as I hold both of my children to me. I think of how happy Lori would be that we were together again. But for now, I'm just grateful that both of my children are safe. They're both alive.
I look back to see Carol smilin' at me. Tyrese has spotted Sasha and is runnin' over to her. As I kiss my daughter's forehead, I make out Sasha seein' her brother. She drops the pack she was holdin' and runs to close the distance, slammin' against him as he holds her close. Even from here I can tell they're cryin'. Daryl steps up behind me, his hand claps on my shoulder. I smile at him, the tears still fallin' down my face. The corner of his mouth turns up, and he nods to my children.
"Even we can catch a break sometimes, right?" I laugh at him and watch as he, Beth and Carol make their way to the others. I hold Judith out in front of me, hardly believin' she's really there. It feels like she's gotten so big since the last time I held her. Carl asks if he can hold her and I hand her to him. He kisses her cheek and walks back over to Michonne. We're all back together again. It's more important than ever that Washington has to be more than we can hope for. I've got too many people countin' on it. I make my way over to the rest of my family.
After the initial shock of returnin' with Carol, Tyrese an' Judith, Daryl had set to work cleanin' our kills an' makin' a fire to cook up the meat. I sat next to him as he turned the squirrels over the flames. He seemed in a lighter mood than he had before. Carol was across from us an' we watched as Maggie took Judith from Carl, holdin' her up to better see she's really there. Rick was at their side. Daryl asked Carol, "How'd you find Tyrese?"
"I had come back to the prison, but it was overrun. I barely saw him leave with Lizzie, Mika and Judith. It took at least two days for me to find them." I had to control the emotion in my voice, I already expected what the answer had to be.
"What happened? To Mika an' Lizzie?" Carol wouldn't meet my eyes. She let out a heavy sigh. When she explained how Lizzie looked at walkers, how she killed her own little sister an' how Carol had to kill her, my heart broke. Deep, deep down inside of me I couldn't be mad at Carol for what she had to do. From the sounds of it, Lizzie was unstable an' a threat to herself an' anyone around her. But I can't help but think what this new world did to that little girl. She watched both her parents die, she was surrounded by gunfire an' bloodshed. It turned her into a monster. Daryl hadn't said anything, but he didn't need to. There are no words fittin' to describe what this world does to you.
We're headin' northeast again. For the first time in weeks, everything feels right. In my heart, I always knew we'd all be reunited. I was so happy to see Carol an' Tyrese again, but seein' Judith eliminated any thought that I had of hope bein' lost. Fate seemed to be in our favor today. Rick told me I wouldn't have to keep up the same babysittin' duties I had at the prison. I just couldn't help holdin' Judith again as we first set off. I missed her smile an' her sweet little giggles.
I gaze down at her, propped on my hip. Her chubby little hand reaches up to my face an' I can feel myself startin' to cry again. I always wanted to be a mother, my whole life was spent thinkin' 'bout babies an' marriage. I look to my other side an' see Daryl next to me. He loves me. We ain't the type to be married like Maggie an' Glenn are. Part of me thinks it's almost better that way. We've never been like those two. What we have's unique to us. It's as if this is the life I was really meant to have an', for right now, it's enough for me. This isn't a world for bringin' in children. I shudder as I think of Lori.
"Here, Beth. I can take her." Carl's grin's a country mile wide as he reaches for his little sister. It's the happiest I've seen him in so long. I pass her to him an' he picks up his pace to walk with Rick an' Michonne. It's just Daryl an' I now, bringin' up the back.
"Surprised you didn't fight to keep her."
"It's her brother, Daryl. Besides, I'm sure I'll have her again at some point today."
It's a lot colder today. I wrap my sweater tighter around me. Daryl notices an' starts to take his vest off but my hand catches his. "I'm okay. Just need to find warmer clothes eventually." He shrugs but pulls me to his side. We keep walkin' with his arm around me, holdin' me to him. I pull my hair down outta my ponytail an' shake it out, lettin' it fall past my shoulders. Daryl plays with the ends.
"You should keep it down more." I smile up at him an' he leans in to kiss me softly. I look above when I hear the telltale rumble an' the sky gets darker. A storm's comin'. Rick shouts back to us.
"Let's hole up in that barn up there. Tyrese, Daryl, Abraham, the four of us can clear it. The rest of you wait for our signal." Daryl kisses the top of my head before he draws his bow in front of him, runnin' up to the front with the other three. The rest of us hold back. I stand by Carl an' Judith.
"I hope it's secure. I don't want Judith to be out here when the rain starts." I tell him that the others will make sure it's safe. Judith yawns an' tucks her head into Carl's neck. I hope it is a safe place, we could all use the rest. I watch as Tyrese an' Abraham pull the doors open. Rick has his gun aimed, Daryl's beside him with his bow raised. I jump when I see the walker come out, but the arrow penetrates his skull immediately. No others come out an' the men run inside. It only took a few minutes for them to sweep the area an' put down the other two walkers that were there. Rick steps out an' waves us forward. The sky opened up as we ran to the doors, soakin' us in a cold downpour.
I spot Daryl at the other end lookin' out the opposite doors into the open field, a cigarette between his lips. I make my way over to him an' take in the beauty of the storm. He pulls me to his side an' his hands rub over my arms. He murmurs somethin' about dry clothes but I cut him off. A grin breaks across my face as I look up at him. "I never went dancin' in the rain."
It takes only a second for him to pick up on what I've said but, by the time he tries to stop me, I'm already runnin' out into the storm. When I get just three or four yards away, I lift my face to the sky an let the cold water beat against my skin. I stick out my tongue, savorin' every icy drop. But I don't feel the chill. My blood is heated as I raise my arms in the air an' twirl around. In that moment, I don't care who's watchin' me or how foolish I look. The thunder rolls an' I feel wild an' free. I look back to the barn to see Daryl an' Maggie in the doorway. My sister smiles at me, he seems in a trance. I hold out my hand to him.
"Dance with me." He almost smiles, but shakes his head no. He tips his cigarette between his fingers.
"Don't dance." I roll my eyes to the sky above. My hand's still outstretched.
"Then come stand with me." Maggie steps back an' turns toward Glenn, givin' us privacy. Daryl stares back at me an' it looks like he's honestly conflicted. For a split second, I feel guilty for puttin' him on the spot like that. I give him a small smile as I lower my arm. Before I can tell him not to worry about it, he's taken one last inhale of his cigarette an' flicked it into the rain. Even from here I can see the way his blue eyes dance wildly as he takes me in. He's made up his mind.
"Fuck it."
He steps out into the rain an' I can't help but close the distance, jumpin' into his arms. He holds me up, an' I look down into his face. I don't even think as my lips crash against his. The action is natural as breathin'. His own lips work quickly against mine as the rain falls around us. His hand grips my hair, pullin' me closer as his tongue gains entrance to my mouth. I cup his face in my hands an' put all I have into our embrace. When he pulls away to catch his breath, I can't fight the smirk on my face. The corner of his mouth pulls up.
"What?"
"I've never kissed in the rain before." He returns my smile an' kisses me again. Lightenin' flashes across the sky.
"C'mon, girl. Back in the barn 'fore you get us both struck dead." An' he readjusts me so he's carryin' me like all those times before. I giggle as he runs with me, settin' me down in the doorway. We're completely soaked an' we probably look like idiots, but I don't care. My heart stops at the sight of him in front of me. His wet clothes cling to outline the hard lines of his body. The dark, shaggy hair sticks to his face an' the water drips down his skin. I feel the blush heat my cheeks as I take it all in. He's gorgeous. A rare an' beautiful smile spreads over his face as his eyes meet mine. He reaches his hand out to me. "See if anybody's taken the hayloft." I lock our fingers together, follow him to the ladder an' up to the empty loft. We look around us an' he approaches the loft door. As I set down our old sheet, I realize we're all alone up here, an' it's the first time in days that we've finally been to ourselves.
"We can open that once the rain lets up."
I don't respond. Instead I stand next to our makeshift bed. When he turns to me I hold up my hand an' curl my finger towards myself, coaxin' him to approach me. A smile pulls at the corner of his mouth when I speak to him.
"Come here."
My insides are on fire as I watch him slowly make his way over to me. I peek up at him an' stand on my toes, pressin' my lips to his ear.
"Do you trust me?" I pull back to see him lookin' down at me an' he nods. My fingers swiftly work at the buttons of his flannel, he pulls off his vest. His breathin' quickens as I push the shirt off his shoulders an' pull my own wet shirt over my head. I kick off my boots an' tug at my wet jeans, an' I motion for him to lay down. Once I cast my jeans to the pile of our wet clothes I position myself on his lap. I start to undo his belt when his hands catch mine. His voice is low an' husky when he speaks to me.
"We gotta be quiet." I smile at him as I finish bringin' his pants to his hips. Even with the bales of hay behind us blockin' us from sight, we can still be heard. As nervous as I am that we might get caught, I feel a rush when I think about what we're about to do. I'm not used to feelin' like this. It makes me feel whole again. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a new hope has begun to spread. We're gonna be alright. If things keep the way they are, we'll all make it to Washington. But once I lower myself onto him, an' the sweet sound of his hushed moan reaches my ears, I set aside all other thoughts that aren't of the man below me. The man I love.