"How are you feeling?" her sweet voice asked as she walked into my cell.

I had been laying in here for what seemed to be almost two hours…maybe more. You could never keep track of time during the apocalypse. I have been staring at the bottom of the bunk above thinking about my options. I refused to talk to Daryl even though he just got done yelling at me for always pushing him away. I was not pushing him away; I needed my quiet. I just hoped he respected that. "Do you want the truth?" she nodded sitting on the edge of my bed holding out noodle mush which I slowly took. "Terrible."

"Is it because you are scared?" she asked her eyebrows furrowing.

"No," I brought a spoonful into my mouth shaking my head. "Not scared. I was, but not today."

Beth tilted her head to the side. "Why do you feel terrible then?"

"It's hard to explain." I shrugged pushing around the dregs of the soup. There was not much in it when I got it, even though I was starving I was in no mood to eat but I did anyways.

"Have you talked to Daryl?" Beth was getting concerned now; I could hear it in her questions. I shook my head. "I'll go get him."

"Wait!" I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her. "Have you ever had to make a life or death decision that would not result in you getting hurt but others? Have you ever known one of those choices was safer than the other?"

Beth smiled shaking her head. "No, but when I had to leave my mother back on that farm I knew I could have died. I either had to abandon her or get abandoned. She was lost and I realized that later, so I am happy I chose to leave." She stood up. "I'll go get Daryl. He is just downstairs."

I nodded watching her leave my room. What was I thinking? My plan was completely stupid but strangely could work. I knew Daryl would be against whatever I had to say on the matter but hopefully he would listen. "You done thinking?" he asked walking the same path Beth had up to my bed.

"I've taken matters into my own hands…" I trailed off letting him scoop my fingers into his. "I think we should-we should go to Woodbury."

Daryl furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"Just you and I," I gulped. "The Governor would leave the prison alone. I know he wants me back there and if I go back he won't come here to attack everyone. Nobody would die."

"He wouldn't leave you alone." His grasp on my hand tighten. "Listen to yourself Rose. You sound insane. Going to Woodbury so he won't attack? He'll kill me, he'll never let you see the light of day, and he will still come to try and take the prison."

"I can make a com-!"

"Rose." He cut me off. "You're plan is something we better not try to test. No matter what happens to you he will still try to kill everyone here including you. Philip is obsessed with you but he is obsessed with power more." He frowned. "Please stop thinking about him. I can see what it is doing to you. You're all pale and you don't sleep like you used too. I hate seeing you like this; all scared and troubled over a man."

I gritted my teeth. "I ain't scared."

Daryl's hand was on my cheek in an instant. "You say that but I see straight through your façade. He scares you, but you're too stubborn to admit it. I will always be here to protect your ass do you understand me. We are going to war Rose whether you think you can stop that or not. We're going to fight this asshole off this earth. I need you to be brave."

"I am brave," I croaked.

"You are when you want to be." He smiled leaning forward pressing his lips to mine. "You are when it comes to me. I understand it has been a process to fight in this kind of world but you've made it so far don't give up on your courage just yet sweetheart there is still so much more to go."

"I am sorry." I told him swinging my legs off the bed. "I am just so paranoid that this is all my fault or I could be doing so much more to stop him."

Daryl watched me stand up as he still sat on the bed. "Nobody blames you." I nodded watching him stand up. "Come outside for a bit." He grabbed my hand pulling me out of the cell. I smiled realizing we were going nowhere but up now after our talk. "Rick is think about trading Michonne in to get him to leave us alone." He told me as we walked down the metal stairs, through the iron gate, and out of the cell block. The path always felt repeated, "Said maybe if we gave her to him he would be satisfied since she took out his eye." He pulled open to door letting in the bright light of the sun and lead me outside.

"What do you think of it?" I asked him squinting my eyes to look at his expression as we stopped.

"I don't agree with it, and plus I am hoping Rick will pull out of that decision." He sighed. "She has been so helpful I don't understand why he would give away one person with that much skill knowing what The Governor will do to her."

I held back the shiver. "What does Merle say?"

Daryl almost furrowed his eyebrows at the mention of his brother. Daryl knew I was still resentful towards Merle because of him taking me, but he did not know who I was. "He thinks Rick doesn't have the spine to do it."

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I shouldn't blame Merle for what happened to me at Woodbury it wasn't his fault for taking me there. If he would have known maybe he could have prevented it but Merle had no idea who I was."

"He could have gotten you out of there...' Daryl growled hating this topic.

"And jeopardize his ties with The Governor? He is helping us now and he even apologized for it." I gave him a reassuring smile.

Daryl sighed. "I should have never left with him. Once I found out he was the one that took you I beat the shit out of him. That's why I came back because he told me, and then I realized how much I could not bear to be away from you."

"Daryl!" Glenn shouted waving for the redneck to come over by the truck. "Come on!"

"Love you." He said kissing my cheek before running off. I was letting the steam roll over my shoulders when it came to the topic of him leaving. I did not want to hold a grudge and even if I wanted to was there even time to hold a grudge. We were always on the look-out, always taking precautions, always meeting somewhere to figure this war out. I did not ever find the time to wallow in aggravations.

"You okay?" My eyes shot up as the one-handed Dixion walked towards me. "I heard you crying yesterday."

"Yeah. I am okay now." I replied watching him pick at the knife at the end of his stump.

"I'm sorry you know." He told me and it felt oddly repeated. "If I would have known you was with my brother I would have never taken you to Woodbury."

"How was I any different than Glenn and Maggie?" the question slipped off my tongue. The question that bothered me. Daryl sometimes forgot they were taken there just along with me. They were tortured more than me in fact. They deserved just as much pity, if not more, than me.

He frowned. "You are with my brother and I care about my brother."

"They were with him too, we all were. They should not be treated any different than me just because your brother cares for me more." I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose. "I forgive you, for taking me away, and for taking Daryl away from me. Everything happened so fast I had no time to process any emotions that were going through me; there was so much going on I had no time to be angry at you for making him leave." I looked up at him. "I was frustrated though. Frustrated because you had each other while my brother still abandoned me. I hated he did not even say goodbye when he left with you. But I want to let it go.I want to move on. For the longest time I have been holding onto everything that has happened to me the last month. I want to put it behind me so I can focus on what is happening now. There is no point going into a battle hateful."

"He'll kill you." Merle said sadly. "The Governor, no matter how much you think he wants you, he'll kill you. He wants this prison and you're just standing in the way."

I nodded. "I know and I'd rather him kill me than take me, but I will not go down without a fight."

Merle looked down fiddling with his hand and stump. "You treat him well?" Déjà vu hit me hard at his questions flashbacks of his interrogation of me flooding into my mind. Back then in that room he had asked if Daryl treated me well, now it was switched.

"I try." My voice shook. "Our relationship is messed up. He always want me tucked away somewhere I can't get hurt while he fights, sometimes I want to fight while he is locked away. We care too much about each other and the safety of each other. We don't fight for the group, and I hate to say that, but we fight to stay alive; both of us do. I push his buttons too much and he cares too deeply for me. We'll get each other killed." I frowned. "Daryl, he means the world to me and I do not know if I could ever survive without him. That scares me. He was always so afraid to commit and now I know why. Having someone you would give your life away too was frightening, the sacrifices you were always willing to throw out there makes me shiver. I love him through and I hope in the long wrong all this bull shit was worth it. I hope we make it out of this together in one piece."

"And the addition?" the smile was playing at his mouth. "What do you think it is?"

"I hope it's a girl." I rolled my eyes. "Daryl wants a boy."

Merle shook his head beaming. "Well Uncle Merle would be happy with any gender as long as it's healthy."

The pride in his face almost made me break down into tears.

It was the first time I had been outside the fence since I left with Maggie and Glenn that day; for some reason I wanting nothing more than to be back inside. Merle was gone and so was Michonne; Daryl had come to me without even an explanation as to where we were off too, but I knew something was wrong when we left the prison gates. That's when he told me Merle followed Rick's plan of taking Michonne to The Governor and they were both on the run. I did not know why Merle would do this. He seemed like a changed man when I talked to him just hours ago. I just shut my mouth following Daryl where he lead me. We took to the woods Daryl's hunting skills taking in as he tracked his brother. I did not dare speak afraid to get into his head and mess this up, but something was nagging at me. Something that was hard to ignore. "Why did you come to me?"

"What?" he softened his expression as we walked onto a roadway.

"Why did you come to me?" I asked again. "You were with Rick. You could have just left but you came to find me. Why?"

"Does there need to be a reason?" his eyes looked around for any sign of Merle running through these parts. We found a motel a little ways back with a couple freshly dead walkers signaling Merle had been there and must have taken a car judging by the tire streaks towards the exit of the place.

"It does not make sense to me." I sighed. "You chose me of all people to be your back up."

"If I am gearing you up for war I need to trust you." The control in his voice angered me.

"Trust me?" My teeth ground together. "You don't trust me. We just got over that hump of trust on letting me go where I please, which for the record I did not want to come with you, and now you suddenly don't trust me?"

Daryl rolled his eyes. "I trust you Rose, but if we are going to war I need to know how you are going to react to situation. I need to know how you fight. I do not need you running out in a field and almost getting killed."

I nodded. "Okay I see your point."

"Wow." He chuckled. "Not much of a fight there then."

"No," I did not smile in return, "Because you are right. That prison does not have good target practice and I need to warm up to danger. The last attack was just a lick of it, this next one will swallow us if we don't prepare."

"I am actually quite scared of you when you get like this." he looked sideways at me.

"Like what?"

"Like a little war machine." He smirked.

"Oh please," I snorted. "I'm just defending home. I am not a little war machine."

"Yes but with that attitude you could achieve anything." He put his eyes front.

I smiled. "I learn from the best."

"Sometimes I feel like our roles switched from when I first met you." Daryl shook his head.

"Sometimes, me too." I looked at my gun. "I can't believe I used to be afraid of guns." This reminiscing was making me awfully sad.

He frowned and I could sense he felt the same way. "Tell me about that day."

I did not need to ask about what day he was talking about. I remember I never told him the full story but I knew Rick had given him a paraphrased version of it. He wanted me to tell him. "I was nearly sixteen." I sighed squeezing my eyes shut. "My father-my father always had him over-his name was Martin. They worked at the same school you see, so co-workers are always friends. Well my father was having a party for all his friends at work, so Martin thought it would be the perfect time for us to take things further. I remember his face when he touched my shoulder pushing me onto my bed. He wanted to test me; he wanted to see how far he could take me-see how long it would take until I cracked. It wasn't long. For three years I had put up with this pervert, I had run out of the power to fight him off. I let him rape me. I let him destroy me. I let him take away the one thing girls hold true. I let him rip away ever drop of a childhood I could ever drink upon. He stole everything from me." I looked into the trees. "Keegan beat him to a pulp once he found out. After everything went down I finally went to him to tell him the whole story. He told my mom and dad but they cared more about their own relationship than my assault. I still loved them though, but Keegan was always my protector. Keegan could not prevent him from coming over, but he could protect me from him. He would always take me to the movies or out for ice cream to get me away from that nightmare. Then one night, Keegan could not prevent me from Martin any longer. Martin made me take a pregnancy test when Keegan was not home and that's when he lost it. He could not bear the shame of people finding out he was pedophile so he hit me several times in my midsection until I bled." I turned to Daryl. "He never talked, touched, or even saw me again. I hope they ate him slowly."

"How did you know he wrecked you on the inside?" Sadness laced his eyes.

"Keegan took me to the doctors after he came back from his university vacation. They told me." I shrugged. "After everything was done I began to lose all courage I had left in me. I was scared of everything. Keegan put up with it all because he hated seeing me so sad. He was the only one that ever cared about me…until you came along."

Daryl frowned. "I am so sorry Rose."

"It was not your fault." I leaned over pressing myself closer to him. "I moved on. Took me six years to do it, but I moved on."

"I don't know how you do that." He grabbed my hand giving it a hard squeeze.

"Do what?" I looked up at him.

"Just move on from things." He flickered his eyes around the trees. "You just have a skill on processing the ability to put things behind you as if it never happened."

I smiled reassuringly. "If you dwell on the past to much it will corrupt your whole life. Anger, guilt, grief, sorrow…too much and it destroys you. Now happiness, happiness is what makes life flourish and if you could just learn to always be happy everything else comes naturally."

"I love you." He stopped for a minutes grabbing my face and kissing me. "I have never met someone so passionate and lovely before in my life. I love you so much."

"I love you too Daryl," I smiled entangling our arms continuing to track Merle. We left the road way onto some grass after Daryl had spotted something. I did not know what but it must have been something important to make him take off like that.

"Hey!" he shouted walking into a grassy area. "Where's my brother?" he asked as Michonne was removing her sword from a walker's head. "You kill him?" Instead of staying behind Daryl I was slightly ahead of him my hand lingering over my gun. I knew I could never shoot Michonne but if she even showed a hint of attack Daryl I would be quick to act. I protected him over everything.

She shook her head. "He let me go."

"Don't let anyone come after me." He said and pushed past her. I knew that excluded me as I followed right behind him. He was determined now, a new anger set in his eyes. I could feel confusion around him as to why Merle let Michonne go after going through so much trouble to get her out here. It seemed to me Merle's plan was so much more complex than we both thought it to be. I was seeing familiar landmarks as we approached where we were a few days ago. The abandoned warehouse…why were we here? "Merle!" Daryl called out. "Merle!"

"Daryl I don't think he is here." I whispered checking around for any sign of The Governor or walkers.

"His trail ends here though…" Daryl looked around. A few dead walkers littered the ground but a live one was munching away at a dead Woodbury resident. He fired an arrow at the walker and jogged over to it removing the arrow and glancing around for any sign of his brother. I could sense something was off the moment he stopped. His body language set concern straight through my veins. His crossbow slipped from his fingers as Merle looked up at him, but it wasn't Merle. It was a walker. A walker with intestines hanging from its mouth from its last meal; it was not Merle. I noticed the gunshot wound to his stomach as he stood up. Philip must have shot him and left him to turn into a flesh eating monster. I stared at Daryl watching his world crumble beneath him as Merle began to come at him. Daryl cried as he shoved his brother away and all I could do was watch. He did not want to kill his brother but he knew it was over. Daryl continued to push Merle away as I stared. I could do nothing else for him now. "No!" he pushed him away again and I was raising my gun, but Daryl had shoved a knife into his neck throwing him to the ground. Then he plunged the knife into Merle's head several times crying out in angst as he fell back onto the grass.

I walked forward as he laid on the ground sobbing. "Daryl." I whispered softly going down onto my knees resting my hand on his chest to stop him from rolling around in his own grief. "I am so sorry." I wrapped my hands under him pulling him up into my arms. He sobbed into my shoulder and all I could do was rub circles along his back and rock him back and forth trying to think of something to say, but this was different. I knew how to comfort when someone was scared or sad, but how do you comfort grief. When I believe Keegan had died I thought I would be sadder but I was angry and took to excusing him leaving as death to remove the idea of him not wanting me. How could I resolute Daryl's pain when I could never know what he felt. Sure I was distraught when Lori had passed but that was more the feeling of guilt that plagued me. "I am so, so sorry." His arms slowly snaked their way around me. Squeezing me, digging his face into my skin, pulling at the layer on my arms, he had pain building inside of him raging life a fire and he had no idea how to let it out, so he just cried. I wonder if he knew he was hurting me, or that my arms were bleeding where his nails dug into my skin. I could feel myself beginning to cry seeing him like this holding him like a lost child. He hated to see me in such a pain how did he expect me to endure his? My poor Daryl could not handle his emotions and I wished I could take away his hurt onto myself. He was blubbering words but I could not comprehend them as he trembled violently. I just held him. I held onto him tightly because that's what he needed. He needed me. He needed me to be there with him and for him. He need me to hold his broken frame together. That's why he brought me along with him. That's why I allowed myself to lay on that grass with him for hours until he had cried out all his sadness.