Rick an' me are skinnin' the rabbits I got this mornin', already cleaned the other two. Four rabbits between fourteen people definitely ain't much, but it's better than nothin'. The sooner we set out again, the better. Ain't much I can do with such little land to hunt. I look up at the sound of laughter. Carl an' Beth've been out there all mornin' tryin' to teach Lil Asskicker to walk. I watch as Beth holds her up by her hands, steppin' slowly with her. Asskicker's giggles fill the air, even when she falls.
"I can't believe she'll be walkin' soon. Seems like she only just started to crawl." Rick's focused on his children, the rabbit dangles in his hand. I grab it from him an' nod towards his kids.
"Go on. I got this. Soon's this is finished, I'll make a fire an' we'll head out right after we eat." He smiles at me an' goes out to them. When he reaches them, Beth holds the baby's hands out to Rick an' she comes to sit by me. "Shit. Asskicker's gonna be walkin' all over the place in no time." Beth smiles at me.
"She's such a good baby. Won't be long 'til she starts learnin' to talk." I watch her face as she watches that little girl. She loves her. Hell, we all love her. I finish up the rabbit an' put it in the pile, standin' to go start the fire. Beth walks back over to Rick an' Carl. When I get to the pit we made yesterday, I'm surprised to see Glenn already workin' at buildin' one. Sasha an' Bob are sittin' with him.
"Hey, Daryl. Figured we'd get things started here." Glenn looks tense. I almost think I stepped in on a conversation they were havin'. Sasha smiles at me.
"Thanks for hunting this morning. We could really use that before we hit the road." I nod to her. I hate it when any of them thank me for gettin' food. It's what I always did, my main effort in this group. They're all lookin' at me an' it makes me uncomfortable. I start to turn back to get the rabbits when Bob's words stop me.
"What? We're not gonna get Daryl's opinion?" I turn to face him.
"What y'all needa hear from me?" The only one who'll meet my eyes is Bob, but Glenn's the one who finally says somethin'.
"We've been thinking about looking for vehicles while we're out. Like what we did back at the prison? If we can find a lot or gas station or something, we figured we might be able to hot-wire a few cars to split between us. It'd be a lot safer than all of us just walking down the road." Sasha finally raises her eyes to mine as she speaks.
"A big group like ours is bound to draw more walkers to us. If we have vehicles we'd still draw attention, but we'd be faster."
I look 'round the three of them. What they're sayin' makes sense. I know that. But I also know how dangerous it can be to sit 'round some fuckin' lot tryin' to find cars that can be hot-wired an' still have gas. I scratch the back of my neck.
"Y'all talk to Rick 'bout this?" All eyes fall to the ground. Course they didn't. I don't know why they wouldn't. Rick's always done right by our group. Even in the shittiest situations, he managed to get us out. When Bob speaks, he least looks me in the eye.
"Rick just got his little girl back. We all know he should be focused on his children. But we don't know how much that could affect his judgement on the matter." I already know what they're gettin' at. I turn back to see Rick with Beth an' his kids. I let out a deep sigh.
"I'll mention it to him. See what he says." Sasha smiles at me.
"You're his right-hand man, Daryl. Everybody knows that. If he listens to any of us, it'd be you."
I head back over to fetch the rabbits. Rick catches my eye an' I tilt my head to gesture he come over to me. Beth takes Asskicker from him an' he stands at my side, still smilin' over at his baby girl.
"What's up, Daryl?" I figure the best way is to come right out an' tell him. I ain't ever been one to beat 'round the bush.
"When we hit the road, we should look for some cars an' trucks to hot-wire. Just enough to split between everybody. It'd be safer than stayin' on foot." He glances over to the other three by the fire.
"That what they were talkin' to you about over there?" I hadn't reckoned that he noticed us. I nod to him. I don't want him to be upset that they didn't go to him themselves. Not like they meant anything personal by it. "They didn't wanna put that decision on you. They know you just got your family back together an' had to focus on them. But I don't feel right if we don't run shit by you, first." He nods to me, turns back to his kids.
"I appreciate that, Daryl. I know there's no harm meant by them. What do you think?" Just like Rick to always ask my thoughts on any matter. I shrug.
"Least worth a try. Ain't sayin' it'd be easy. We first gotta find some vehicles. But we need vehicles that'll start up. An' we need them to have gas." He doesn't say anything. I pick up the rabbits an' look over at the kids an' Beth. I don't take my eyes offa her when I speak to him. "I know what you're feelin'. Ain't too thrilled 'bout the task, myself, but we both have people that make the risk worth it."
"We'll do it. We just gotta be careful."
I head back over to the fire with the meat.
"Rick's in." All three sets of eyes stare at me. Glenn smiles.
"You already talked to him? Just now? And he agrees?"
"It ain't that hard talkin' to Rick. He always wants to do the right thing by all of us. He's a good man." Nobody says anything else on the matter as we skewer the meat on sticks an' roast 'em over the fire.
"Daryl, come here!" I turn to Beth. Sasha takes the stick outta my hand an' tells me to go to her. They all give me smirks an' grins. I head over to Beth an' she tells me to stop where I am an' stay still. She's got Asskicker walkin' towards me. When that baby girl's eyes meet mine an' she smiles at me, my heart melts like some dumb sap. I crouch down on the dirt an' hold my hands out to her the way I saw Carl doin' earlier. Him an' Rick are behind Beth, watchin'.
"C'mere, sweetie. Almost there."
Ever since the moment I first held her in my arms I knew she'd have me wrapped 'round her finger. She ain't even my kid an' I already know I'd do anything to keep her safe. After I'd gotten back together with Rick, Michonne an' Carl it nearly killed me when I found out they thought she was dead. All I could think was the day she was born. How Hershel had said if she didn't get formula she'd die. Somethin' inside me withered at the thought. I had told him we weren't losin' her. When Maggie an' me got back an' they let me hold her, feed her, I knew then an' there. I loved that little girl.
"C'mon, Lil Asskicker, almost there." I glance up at Rick. I try not to call her Asskicker 'round him. But he just laughs at me. When Beth's got her just in front of me, she lets go of her hands. Asskicker takes a step on her own but stumbles forward. I catch her 'fore she can even notice she was fallin'. I hold her hands in mine an' straighten her back up. The laugh she gives when she looks at me warms my entire body. I don't even think as I pull her to me an' hold her over my heart. Carl comes to my side.
"Dad says I learned how to walk young. Maybe Judith will, too." I hand him his sister an' watch as he takes her back into the barn, Michonne waitin' there for him. Rick laughs.
"What's that sayin'? It takes a village to raise a kid?"
Everybody's all packed. I was right to think nobody'd get their fill offa four lousy cottontails, it's in everybody's eyes. But not one of 'em complains. We head 'round to the front of the barn an' Rick stops us.
"The plan's still to reach South Carolina today. Keep your eyes open for any place we can get food or supplies. We also need to be on the lookout for vehicles. It's faster than on foot." Everybody agrees an' we set out on the road. Me an' Beth are in the back as usual. She's holdin' Asskicker an' I can see she's strugglin' with her an' her pack.
"Here, give her to me." She looks up at me as she hands the baby over. I swing my crossbow 'round my front, bend down an' set Asskicker up on my shoulders. The baby's pullin' at my hair but she seems happy up there. Beth smiles brightly at me, raisin' her eyebrows.
"What?"
"Look at you. If I didn't know better, I'd say Uncle Daryl's gonna ruin that baby. She'll be spoiled rotten." I laugh at her. But, deep down, I know I'd give anything to keep the kid happy an' safe. I just don't know how to put that in words for the others to understand.
We make it a few miles when Abraham spots a run-down convenience store. The windows are all busted out, ain't even got a damn door no more. I take Asskicker off my shoulders an' pass her back to Beth as me, Rick an' Abraham approach the store to clear it. Glenn runs over to a beat up old truck sittin' just outside. There's a four door car next to that. Him an' Bob set to work on the wirin' while the three of us walk into the store. I make my way through the aisles, Abraham on the other ends. There's a walker at the other side, but someone's already put it down. That means it'll be that much fuckin' harder to find shit we need. Rick heads back to the door an' tells everybody it's clear, to find what they can an' grab what they need. I see Carl standin' just outside the door holdin' his sister, meanin' Beth came in here.
I grab some of the old ass newspapers from the end of one aisle. It surprises me that people wouldn't take shit like that for startin' a fire. All the lighters are gone, but I find two packs of matches on the floor behind the counter. Just my luck that the smokes are completely cleaned out. Nicotine's a hard addiction to quit even if the world's come to an end. I swing my leg up onto the counter, pull myself up an' push myself off, decidin' to find Beth. I see Sasha an' Carol grabbin' what little bandages are left. Michonne holds up a candy bar to show me. She shrugs. "For Carl." I smile at her. I glance back to Carl an' see that Beth's standin' out there with him. When'd she go out there?
We all gather 'round outside the store showin' what we could scavenge. It definitely ain't much. Tyrese had found a few bags of chips an' we all split those. They were stale, who knows how long ago they probably expired. But they helped ease our hunger. I was next to Beth splittin' a bag with her. When we'd finished, she licked her fingers clean, suckin' on the tips to get the last trace of chip grease. Her eyes closed as she savored the taste an' I was stupidly lost in the image of it, the sight stirred cravin's in me that were beyond hunger. Least for food. She opened her eyes again, slowly pullin' her pinky outta her mouth an' she held my gaze. The girl's gonna be the death of me. I cleared my throat an' nudged at her pack.
"Find anything good?" There was a different look to her eyes, then. They reminded me of a storm over water. Her lips pulled into a grin that was anything but innocent.
"You bet I did." She reaches back into the bag an' I'm almost nervous to see what she pulls out. "You prefer Marlboros, right?" She holds up a pack of Lights. They weren't ever my favorite, but damn if I wasn't happy to see them. I take the pack from her an' laugh a little.
"Shit, I didn't know what you were gonna pull outta that bag. But ain't much better than a pack of smokes." I pack them in my hand, tear off the wrapper. She bats her lashes at me. Her voice is a low, sultry whisper an' it almost made me drop my cigarette.
"Wanna bet?" She tugs on the zipper an' opens the pack enough for me to look in. When my eyes fall on the box I almost choke on the smoke. I look into her eyes an' she winks at me. Jesus. I tip the cigarette between my teeth an' think 'bout what she's got. She was right. The condoms are almost more welcome than the smokes. I take another long drag an' savor the nicotine coursin' to my brain. Almost.
My thoughts are interrupted when that old ass truck roars to life. Bob still can't get the car to start. I head over there an' try my hand at it. In a few minutes that one's runnin', too. Glenn tells us the truck has a little over half a tank. I glance at the dash of the car.
"This one's just under half."
We decide it's better than nothin' an' divide between the two. It ain't gonna be the most comfortable ride with all us piled on each other, but it'll beat the shit outta walkin'. Rick takes the driver seat of the car. Abraham's next to him with Rosita in his lap. Michonne sits in the back, Carl next to her holdin' Asskicker. Eugene's on the other side of Carl. That leaves the of eight of us to the truck. Fortunately it's a crew cab. All eight of us could fit in there, but I don't wanna be confined to such a tight space. I grind my cigarette into the ground, tug on Beth's hand an' gesture towards the truck bed. The others pile inside while I help Beth lift herself onto the back, followin' behind her an' liftin' the tailgate back up. I see Rick back the car up an' I beat my fist against the back window to let Glenn know he can go.
"We're real lucky these were there, huh?" I nod to her. I don't tell her how we ain't gonna get too far with the gas they got. I stretch my legs out in front of me. She sits opposite of me, her own legs stretched. For the most part, we're alone. I figure I'd better say somethin' 'fore they speed up an' we won't be able to hear each other over the wind.
"You go in lookin' for those or you stumble 'cross them?" She doesn't have to ask. She knows damn well I ain't talkin' 'bout cigarettes. She blushes. Apparently that rebellious edge slipped away, replaced again by her innocence. She shrugs.
"I mean, I wanted to find food or water. Anything. But everybody else was already grabbin' that stuff. This was stickin' out under a bottom shelf an' I couldn't help but think you might like it." I laugh at her.
"You go in there for shit we need, an' manage to come out with two things just for me?" She rolls her eyes at me.
"Well, obviously the cigarettes are for you. But these," she pats on the bag. "These are for both of us"
It ain't like I'm mad at her. In all honesty, we been real stupid not usin' any protection. I'll give her credit, it was a smart find. But I also don't wanna give her the impression that this means we're gonna be havin' sex every chance we get. Not that I don't go crazy half the time thinkin' 'bout her like that. I just know I don't want that to be all we have. I like gettin' to know her an' lettin' her get to know me a little at a time. She sees through me an', whatever she sees there, makes her think I'm a good person. I just have to keep workin' at it to prove to her she ain't imaginin' that.
We start to pick up speed an' I see her hug herself tighter, wrappin' her sweater 'round her. I hadn't thought 'bout it gettin' colder once we really got goin'. I lean forward an' grab her hand, gesture with my other hand for her to come over to me. She crawls 'cross the bed an' sits between my legs, her back to my chest. I wrap my arms 'round her. As the wind blows, her hair whips me in the face. I let go of her an' grab her hair in my hands. I lean down to her ear.
"Gimme your rubber band." She hands it back to me. Doesn't ask questions, probably 'cause she knows I wouldn't hear her anyways. I pull her hair back gently, catchin' it to keep it from flyin' 'round. I think of the braided leather cords on the sides of Merle's old vest. Didn't seem too difficult. I split her hair in three pieces an' started wrappin' them 'round each other. Even 'fore I finished, I knew it looked awful. But I could feel the hum in her chest as I played with her hair. I had her purrin' like a kitten, an' had to admit I enjoyed that. I shook the failed braids twice an' restarted, finally decidin' to just do what I could. There were still loose strands of hair, an' the braid itself was a fuckin' mess. But her hair wasn't hittin' me no more.
Her hand reached back an' grabbed her hair, holdin' it out to the side to get a better look at it. I mean to tell her I can try again when she turns 'round an' kisses me.
"It's beautiful, Daryl. I love it." I wrap her in my arms an' lean back to stare up at the sky. I could live everyday with her like this.
The sign back there said we're a half mile from South Carolina. Everybody's upset that the we ran outta gas a little ways back, but all I can think is how much closer we are to the line. I play with the end of my braid. I know it's messy, but Daryl did it for me. He tugs the end of my hair an' takes my hand in his. He may not realize it, but he can be really sweet sometimes. We're further back from the group, as usual. Somethin' tells me he prefers the time alone. I can't say that I disagree. I mean to ask him if that's what it is, when I hear Rosita shout back to us from the front.
"There it is!"
When I glance at the road ahead of us I feel the excitement rush through me. I tug on his hand as I try to move us faster, get us to the rest of the group. I let go of him as I run with all the energy I have in me. My muscles cry out to me an' my lungs burn from such sudden exertion, but I don't care. Daryl's keepin' pace next to me. We rejoin the group an' I get closer to the sign.
"We made it! Can you believe that?" I turn to see him standin' a few feet behind me, eyes locked on the words in front of us. He's frozen to the spot.
WELCOME TO SOUTH CAROLINA
SMILING FACES
BEAUTIFUL PLACES
That's when I remember what he told me before. An image of a more haunted version of the man standin' before me comes to mind.
He's sittin' across from me on the floor with a jar of moonshine in front of him. I wanted him to open up. I thought of all the things I never got to do, wondered what he never did.
"Just say the first thing that pops in your head." He hesitated for just a moment. Probably thinkin' of what he should or shouldn't tell me. He was so guarded with me then.
"I never been outta Georgia."
I grab his hand in mine. It's warm an' rough against my skin. He looks down at me as I reach up to kiss his cheek an' gently pull him forward.
"We'll cross it together."
We get right under the sign when he stops again. I look behind me, now. So many emotions flood through me, I hadn't expected this. Georgia was my home. My mama an' Daddy were both born an' raised there. Sure, we went on vacations but Georgia was our home. I realize that, once I cross the line, I won't just be leavin' behind a happy childhood. I think of the family I've lost, my mama an' my brother. Jimmy, Patricia, Lori, Zach. All the people I grew to love, all the people who died. A lump forms in my throat as I think of my daddy. How much I wish he was right here with us. I can feel the tears start to fall. The rough, calloused hand brushes my cheeks, gently's he can. I'm ashamed of the little sob I let out, my cheek presses into his warm palm. I look up to see pain in his eyes.
This was Daryl's home, too. He was leavin' behind his past, buried right next to mine. I imagine he's thinkin' of his brother. How he'd never been outta Georgia, either. Daryl an' I've come so far from where we were when this all started. It's changed the both of us, an' we're still adaptin' to it everyday. I was so excited to get to this place, but now I'm afraid. I don't know what lies ahead of us. But I remind myself that I'm not alone. I have my group, my family. I have Daryl.
The others are already over the line, there's a few cars stranded a little ways up the road. I grab his hand from my face an' squeeze it tightly in mine. I smile up at him.
"Ready?"
He takes a deep breath an' we step into the state of South Carolina hand in hand, leavin' our past behind us. We don't look back.