After Steve left, Kim had spent some time with Jeannie and had then gone upstairs to tuck Andrew into bed. It gave her a distraction so she did not dwell on everything that had happened earlier. But once Andrew was tucked in with his teddy bear, there was no way for her to avoid reliving what she had heard of Steve and Shane's argument.

Kim debated just going to her room and trying to erase the entire day - to just pretend it never happened. You know you can't do that, she said to herself. She and Shane needed to talk. The only problem was that she did not know where even to begin.

She wandered aimlessly through the halls of the house for a little while, until she heard the front door open and close. After counting to 50, Kim walked slowly toward the library.

Shane was inside, pouring a brandy, and did not notice her at first. From the door, she watched him. As always, Shane made her heart race a little faster. He was still so handsome, and still so much about him reminded her of the young, gallant hero who had swept her off her feet with walks in the garden, romantic dinners, and nights spent by the fireplace. And adventure and danger. She could not deny how exciting that had been at the time - for both of them.

But as she studied him, she also could see how his dark hair was starting to show some gray, and, when he turned toward the door, she could not help but notice the lines around his eyes.

A lot can happen in seven years, she thought. They both were older, though maybe not any wiser.

"Kim . . . I, um, didn't see you there," Shane said, as he spotted her. "Can I get you something? I can fix a pot of tea."

She tried to remind herself that she was furious with him, but it was hard to be this close to him and not think of the past. "No," she said. "I'm fine."

Shane took a sip of his brandy. "I guess you want to talk."

"Yes . . . we probably should." Kim walked into the room and headed toward the couch. "I just don't know where to start."

He set down his glass. "Maybe we should start with Andrew and what happened with the school."

"I guess we should," Kim replied. That was the easier subject to discuss. It's easier to discuss a sociopath trying to kill our son than to discuss how we feel about one other. Shaking her head at the absurdity of the situation, she took a seat. "I know you think it's safer for Andrew to be here, but he belongs in school with other children his age."

Shane took a moment before he spoke. "I know we agreed to hire Mike so Andrew could have a normal life, but it's dangerous for him there. The school can't protect him."

Some of Kim's earlier anger was returning and her voice began to rise. "You're acting like I don't care about his safety. I do. I just don't want him to be a prisoner here."

"He's not a prisoner," Shane said. "He can go out to the lake now that Mike's here, and we'll make it so he can have his friends over."

"And why would they come here? If it's not safe enough for Andrew to go to school, what mother would let her kid come here?" Kim got up. She could not sit. "You should have seen that principal earlier today. The way he acted like I was some idiot who knew nothing. . . . He said the other parents complained about having Andrew there." She turned to Shane. "Remember how the same thing happened with Eve? You fought the school then."

"That was different." Shane's voice remained calm, which only frustrated Kim further. "Eve wasn't a danger to the other students. The principal has a point."

"How can you just stand there and defend that man?" she cried. "Oh . . . wait . . . You weren't there, were you? So you didn't see his condescension. You were too busy with your 'mission' to care about our son's welfare."

Shane's eyes narrowed and some of that calm veneer slipped away. "Now, wait a minute. I was-"

"You were where? At work, I know. I called to tell you, but you had more important priorities than our son."

"That's not true," Shane snapped. "I was at work, yes, but that's because I was trying to protect our son. I was at the ISA all night-"

"Of course you were," Kim yelled. "That's always where you were."

In a low, but angry voice, Shane said, "I was up all night trying to salvage our investigation of Lawrence after the untold amount of damage your brother-in-law caused. . . . I'm trying to put that man away for good so he doesn't hurt our son. That's the only thing I want." His voice rose sharply. "So don't tell me I don't care about Andrew!"

Kim did not respond. She remembered Shane saying something to Steve about a "mess." The room fell silent, and she watched Shane pace back-and-forth in front of the bookshelves.

"I do care," Shane said, his voice lower, the calm returning.

Kim's own anger receded a bit. "I know you do. I just wish you'd been there to support me; if the school knew you'd fight them, they might back down."

Shane pursed his lips. She could tell that he was struggling to decide what to do.

"Please, Shane," she begged. "Mike can keep him safe."

He looked away and she could see the war going on inside his head. Finally, he stopped pacing. "It goes against every ounce of common sense in me, but . . . fine. As long as Mickey says there's something we can do."

Reluctant support was better than no support, so Kim would accept that. She felt a twinge of glee as she smiled at Shane. "Thank you."

There was another awkward silence, which Shane used to get his glass and drink some more of the brandy. "I guess . . . well, I guess we should talk about what happened earlier. With Steve." He set the glass down, then looked at her. "He shouldn't have said that. I'm just sorry you had to hear it."

Unable to stop herself, Kim snorted.

"What?" Shane seemed confused.

"Don't act like you're some knight-in-shining-armor protecting my honor," Kim said. "We both know Steve only said what you think."

"That's not true," Shane protested.

Kim sighed. "Of course, it is. It's what you've thought ever since you regained your memory. And . . . let's face it, Shane, it's what you've always thought. How could I sleep with Cal? Or Lawrence? Or Victor? The past rears its ugly head."

"This isn't about the past," Shane said.

"You can say that all you want." Kim looked down at the floor. It's what it's always been about. "It all comes back to the past, to what I was before. Steve said exactly what you think. He just said it out loud. You can too. Say it. Say what you think - that I'm a whore."

"Damn it, that's not true." Shane glared at her. "You're the one who always brings up the past, not me."

It was always the same with Shane. He could deny it all he wanted, but Kim knew the truth. "You've never been able to let it go. To you, I'll always be that whore who had that parade of men come through my door."

"Stop it!" Shane stepped toward her and grabbed her arm. "You're wrong." But even as he spoke, she could detect a trace of doubt in his voice.

Kim pulled her arm free and turned away. "It's okay. . . . I can't really blame you, can I? After all those men. And then Cal . . . . I mean, why would you ever want to stay with me?"

From behind her, Shane spoke in a low and even voice. "That's got nothing to do with . . . what happened. It wasn't Cal . . . . I could have dealt with Cal. It's your damn lies. It's that you've never been able to trust me."

That's not true. Kim spun back around. "You're wrong. I do trust you. I've always trusted you. I'm here now because I trust you. With Andrew. With my life."

"But not your love, Kim." Shane's eyes shone with his pain. "You've never trusted me with your love."

Now, Kim was baffled. "Shane . . . I love you-"

"But not enough to trust me," he insisted. "If you trusted me, you wouldn't have lied to me. You would've believed our love - that what we had together would have survived the truth." He took a few steps backward, and turned away. "Didn't I prove myself with Andrew? Didn't I show you that I could understand, that it didn't matter if he was another man's child?"

"This was different-"

"Why?" Shane's voice came more sharply. "What was different?"

Kim shook her head. He could not possibly understand. "Because it was Cal . . . . He deceived me and he used me, and I had no excuse this time." Kim felt her face flush. Even now, she felt the embarrassment and shame. "You couldn't have understood."

Shane turned back. With a somber expression, he said, "At least, I would have had a chance to try. . . . But you didn't believe in me enough to let me try." He took a few steps, then ran a hand through his hair. "No matter how hard I tried, you never had faith in me." He stopped pacing, looked up at the ceiling, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he asked, "Do you remember that time we were trying to find out who killed Emma, and we were at Neil's looking for evidence?"

Trying to recall what he meant, Kim searched her memory. That time had been so chaotic, and she had been so terrified about going to jail and losing any chance of finding Andrew. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"No, you wouldn't. . . ." Shane took a deep breath. "It probably was nothing really to you, so why would you remember? We were at the stables and Neil came in. I left to go see if I could find any other clues, and when I came back, you and Neil were talking."

Kim still had no recollection, so she said nothing and let Shane continue.

"You didn't realize I was there, but you were talking and Neil said you needed someone for support, but you said it couldn't be me. When push comes to shove, Kim, that's how it's always been. No matter how much I proved myself, how much I tried to prove that our love could overcome whatever obstacles were put in our path, you just couldn't trust that our love could survive. Back then. With Victor. When you left the first time. Over and over, you just couldn't trust that my love for you was strong enough."

The pain in his voice was so clear and his emotions so raw, that tears, unbidden, stung Kim's eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you," she said.

"No, I suspect you didn't," Shane said. "But you told Neil something that day. You said you couldn't handle the pain of our relationship, and that seems to be how things always went. We may never have wanted to hurt each other, but that's what we always did."

She could hear the undercurrent in his voice, and remembered that night at Donovan Manor when he had drunkenly asked her why she left, and why they couldn't be happy again. And even through the pain so visible in his eyes, she could still see the love.

"We can work through this," she said softly.

Shane shook his head slowly. "No. . . . I don't think we can. We used to say our love could get through anything, but I don't think we ever truly believed it. If we did, you would've trusted me and . . . I wouldn't have put these walls back up."

Kim felt a tear run down her cheek. "So I guess we both made mistakes."

"I guess we did," he said.

"So where does that leave us?" Kim knew Shane still loved her, and she knew he wanted to be with her. But her heart ached as she realized he would not admit it. Too much had happened, and maybe he was right. Maybe their love just could not overcome the damage they had caused.

Shane took a moment, as if he was debating his response. Then, with that same somber expression, he said, "It leaves us where we should be. We're Andrew's parents and . . . friends, I guess."

Kim shut her eyes, trying to stop the tears. We could be so much more, she thought. We can change. I can change. I do trust you. But she could not find the words to say that and, even if she could have, she doubted she would. She had some pride left. She took a couple of breaths and then opened her eyes, only to realize that Shane had stepped close to her. He reached out, brushed the back of his hand against her cheek, and wiped away some of her tears.

Just his touch caused her heart to flutter. Looking up into his eyes, Kim could see what he was trying to deny. They were more than just friends; they always would be. The love and the desire were still there. She knew he still wanted her as much as she wanted him, and she reached up to take his hand in hers.

"No." Shane jerked his hand away and the momentary spell was broken. He took a few steps backward, increasing the distance between them, until he neared the doorway. "No."

Then he turned on his heels and disappeared through the door, and left Kim completely alone.