He's sleepin' with his head in my lap. We've been on the road for a few hours. Rick's drivin' now with Glenn sittin' next to him. Maggie's asleep next to me, Judith in the carseat at her side. I glance over to see Daryl and Beth lyin' next to each other on the floor, him holdin' her. The sight makes me smile. We've been through so much already, it's nice to finally sit back and breathe.

I reach my hand down to him, brush the hair away from his face. I try to forget the look he gave me earlier when I had volunteered for the weapons run. He was so upset with me. Even when I told him I'd made my way through worst, he'd been so frightened. I knew he was mad when I told him I had to do that. I wished for a better way to make him understand. There's plenty of things we have to do now to stay alive.

He once told me that he was a monster. I don't see it. He does what he has to do to survive, same as the rest of us. Carl makes me think of what my own little boy coulda been like. I imagine Andre bein' a strong, independent teenager. I think of him growin' up out here with Judith and Carl. It wouldn't be the best life for him, but I'd make it the best that I could. I sigh at my own delusions and put the thought aside. Thinkin' of him still hurts me. Instead, I think of when we got back to the group earlier.

I sat across from Daryl waitin' for the other two to open that door. I'd been nervously tappin' my foot on the floor. He took his hand away from his mouth and pointed at my shakin'.

"What's wrong?"

It's comfortin' that we're good enough friends for him to pick up on the little things, even if I hadn't meant for him to catch it. I also tribute that to his keen eye in general. Always the hunter, the tracker. Always alert of his surroundin's. I let out the breath I hadn't noticed I was holdin'.

"Can't stop thinkin' of the look on Carl's face earlier. Hope he isn't still mad at me." He nods. Maybe he'd been thinkin' of Beth's reaction to him comin' back in one piece.

"Soon's he sees you, he'll be alright."

I was eager to get outta that van. When I saw that boy standin' just a little ways from me, I couldn't help but beam at him as I went to his side. "Told you I'd be back. You can't get rid of me that easy."

I handed him his bag and opened up mine. I reached in and found the candy bar I'd gotten for him at that store, held it out to him. "Besides, I needed to grab our bags, anyways. Still needed to give you this." He took the bar from me and hugged me. The sensation of his arms around me spread through my whole body. He's such a great kid, he makes me remember what it's like to be a mother. When he pulled back, I saw him wipe at his eyes.

"I knew you'd be back. Just- just don't think you always have to volunteer. Because you don't. Not anymore." He opened the wrapper, holdin' the chocolate out to me. "Wanna share? We always split it." I'd smiled at him.

"Just make sure to give me the bigger half this time. Think I've earned it today."

We helped Carol to sort out the bags of food and water between the three vehicles. Carl had asked me how long it'd take us to get to North Carolina. I told him it depended on the gas we had. What gas we'd be able to get on the road. When we finished sortin', we each grabbed a bag and headed over to the first van. Glenn was already in the front with Maggie, Daryl and Beth were in the back. Rick came up behind us holdin' Judith. I looked over at him and he looked almost as happy as Carl to see me.

"Glenn, keep your eyes open for a place to stay. House, barn, anything."

Rick takes a quick glance back, grinnin' when he sees his sleepin' children. I hear Daryl shift in his sleep and I look over to the two of them. There he was: the big, bad, bow-wieldin' redneck cuddled up with the sweet, pretty girl. I hold in my laugh at the picture. They're such a strange pairin', only, not in the world we live in now. I know how shy he is when it comes to the two of them. Hell, he's just reserved in general. Makes it too easy to tease him. The man doesn't show emotions too well, tryin' to hide his feelin's regardin' anyone. But the way he is around her is obvious.

I have to admit, I was slightly shocked at the two of them at first. They're such opposites, but I know now that it balances them out. I see him pull her closer to his side. For a moment, I can't help but feel sorry for him. I don't know what he was like before I met him. I've heard the others talk of his change. I knew he was a hardened man the minute I first saw him. The pain and hauntin' in his eyes were a reflection of my own. I didn't know what, but I knew he was runnin' from somethin'. Just like me.

Maybe that's why I was comfortable with him, even after he'd brought back his asshole brother. At first, it was hard to imagine they were even related. Daryl may not have realized it, but he was a much gentler man than Merle. Less temper, more forgivin'. I would listen to the two of them talk and wondered how he could put up with it. I remember Carol once told me that Daryl was bein' held back by his brother, that he'd let his bond with Merle bound him in chains. I could see it, too.

But my opinion of Merle changed when he'd taken me hostage to deliver me to The Governor. When he stopped that car and told me to get out, I couldn't believe he meant it. I looked into his eyes and realized where I could see the connection between the two brothers. Deep down, far beneath the surface, they'd both had good hearts. Merle just had a much stronger wall barricadin' his than Daryl did. Maybe Merle didn't sacrifice hisself for the group, maybe he only did it to save his brother. A final act to prove Daryl's loyalty to him had finally paid off.

I remember the look Daryl gave me when I told him what his brother had done. He'd told me not to tell the others where he was headed, he didn't want anyone followin' him or tryin' to stop him. I can still picture the hurt in his eyes when he came back to the prison without Merle. He'd told us that his brother was dead and left it at that. Even then he hid the way he felt. But I don't see the same haunted man in him anymore. It's still there, still buried deep inside, but he's changed. I return my thoughts to when we got back today.

Carl had just given me some of the chocolate when I heard someone sob. I turned to see Beth starin' straight ahead at that van. I followed her gaze to Daryl, saw him search all our faces before focusin' on hers. He'd started to make his way over to us- to her - a small smile on his face. But that girl took off towards him. It was a whole new side of Daryl. I watched as he reached out to her, held her up in his arms. For the first time since I met him, he smiled. It wasn't his usual smirk or a small, shy smile. It was a full ear to ear grin. I've never seen him so happy as he was lookin' at that girl.

When he kissed her, I laughed and looked back to the others. Just as dumbfounded as I was with the sudden display of affection. Seemed like the tough guy routine really was just an act after all. He set her down and they looked over at us. Beth had looked nervous but he was still smilin'. He wasn't even tryin' to hide how much he loved her. I was happy for him. I'd never seen him as the type to go around givin' piggybacks to girls or holdin' hands. Definitely never saw him as the kissin' or holdin' type.

It came to me that I liked the contrast between the two sides of him. He can be strong and fearless, take risks and do whatever he has to in order to keep the rest of us alive. He has a hardened shell. But I know it's only there to guard the gentler side, the side I'd seen only a glimpse of in the time I've known him. He looked at that girl like she made all the things around him disappear, like she was the light at the end of a perpetually dark tunnel. It was nice to see him look happy for a change.

I'm brought back to the present. Rick musta just hit a pothole, the van shook violently. Daryl stirs again, this time I see he's wakin' up. He props hisself on his elbow, rubs at his eyes and looks over at me. I don't try to hide the grin from my face.

"Look who decided to wake up. Welcome back, Sleepin' Beauty."

He smirks at me, tells me to shut up. I watch as he leans over Beth, movin' the hair outta her face and checkin' to see she's still asleep. He quietly adjusts hisself so he can sit upright. He places her head in his lap once he's finally sittin', yawns and nods towards the front. "We find a place to stay?"

I can't believe how long I slept. I blame it on the fuckin' shit from earlier. I shouldn't complain, ain't no way of knowin' when you'll ever really sleep out here. It was just me, Michonne, Rick an' Glenn awake. The two up front were lookin' out for a place to stay the night. Somethin' we could secure better than a car. I hope we find somethin' soon, it's too fuckin' suffocatin' in this damn thing. As much as I appreciate the safety a car gives us, I appreciate freedom more.

Beth murmurs in her sleep an' I glance down at her face. The way it twists up, I can tell already she's havin' that nightmare again. I fight back the urge to wake her up, to try to stop it. She needs all the sleep she can get, even if it ain't exactly restful. I hear a horn go off. Glenn heard it, too.

"Hey, I think the others are trying to signal us. Pull over, Rick." Glenn leans back to look at the rest of us, grinnin' when his eyes fall on Maggie. The van veers to the side, Rick rolls down his window an' I hear the others pull up next to us. I make out Bob's voice.

"Gabriel says there's a neighborhood at the next right. We could find a good sized house and clear it out."

"Alright, have Gabriel drive up ahead of us. Your group can lead the rest of us there."

I hear the other van take off, feel us climb back on the asphalt behind it. 'Bout another mile up the road we turn right. Ain't too much longer after that when Rick stops, puttin' it in park an' turnin' off the ignition. Him an' Glenn get outta the front an' come 'round the back to let us out. I gently shake Beth's shoulder.

"C'mon, girl. We gotta place for the night."

We grab our shit an' head up to the door. Beth's just barely awake in my arms, both our bags hangin' from my forearms an' bow at my back. Abraham, Tyrese an' Rick go in to clear the house we stopped at. I felt like shit for not goin' with 'em, but Michonne told me to stay with Beth. I knew she was right. I look 'round the neighborhood. I'm surprised to see it looks normal. Like they weren't ever touched by the plague that haunted the rest of us.

It's all two story houses an' white picket fences out here. I see most of 'em don't have cars out front, they musta made it outta here at some point. The house we're at's a copy of the rest. Brick with a white door, garage on the side. I'm just thinkin' of what we might find in the garage when they come outta the house. Tyrese shrugs his shoulders.

"Empty. No walkers, no bodies. Just...empty."

Empty. I don't know if the word's comfortin' or not. It ain't like I wanna have to look over every corner to check for walkers. But I can't help but think of the last abandoned place I'd found that was clear: the funeral home. I decide to keep my unease to myself. Nobody else seems to feel it. Beth opens her eyes an' looks up to me, keepin' 'em open now. I readjust my grip on her an' head inside.

It's a big fuckin' house. Looks bigger than from the outside. Rick had said there were four bedrooms an' a bathroom upstairs. He said there's a big room with bookshelves to my left with a door to a livin' room, the kitchen's to the right. Abraham, Rosita an' Eugene head off to the livin' room. Gabriel wanders off into the kitchen. The rest of us head upstairs to pick rooms. I don't stick 'round to see who takes what. I take us to the room at the far end of the hallway.

"Beth, reach out an' open the door."

When she turns the handle an' I ease it open with my foot, I'm relieved to see the bed. I didn't know what kinda uppity shit to expect up here, comin' from people that fill a whole room with nothin' but fuckin' books. It's dark but I see it's a decent sized bed, big enough for the two of us. Beth's voice's light.

"Home sweet home."

I carry her inside an' set her on her feet, tossin' the bags to the ground an' layin' my bow at the closed door. She grips my bicep as she pulls off her boots, then takes off her sweater. My vest is tossed to the pile on the ground as I unbutton the top part of my shirt an' reach back to pull it offa me by the collar. I pull off the t-shirt I'd been wearin' under that. It's strange how comfortable I am barin' my chest an' back to her. But I know it don't matter. She's already seen my scars an' it didn't scare her away. She loves me. I needa talk to her, tell her what's changed.

I think of how she looked at me earlier. How happy she'd been to see me, how good it felt to hold her again. She told me I scared her to death. Everything this world put her through, an' I'm her priority. This girl's never given up on me. No matter how distant I been, she always managed to pull me back to her. I'd told myself in the middle of that swarm that I needed to be more to her, to give her all of me. I watch as she turns to the bed, pullin' her shirt offa her. The sight of her now pushes out any chances of talkin' first. The thought that crosses my mind's reckless. It don't surprise me, I been reckless all my life. Ain't no reason to stop now.

I hesitate for a moment 'fore I walk up behind her, take her by the wrist an' turn her 'round. Pull her to me. I reach to the back of her head to shake her hair outta that damn rubber band. 'Fore she can say anything, my hands grab her face an' my mouth crashes into hers. I close my eyes as I take all of her in, my hunter's senses heightened to pick up everything.

Her lips are smoother now since we kept better hydrated. I can taste the canned peaches she ate this afternoon on her tongue. I brush my thumbs over the warm skin of her cheeks as she kisses me back. Think of how today coulda gone wrong. How I coulda never seen her again an' it makes me fuckin' crazy. I pull away from her, needin' to see her face. To make this fuckin' real. Big, blue eyes shine up at me, a hunger behind them. Her tongue runs 'cross her bottom lip as her hands reach 'round my neck an' into my hair. I drop my head to her throat. She still smells like the soap from last night. A trace of somethin' sweeter's there, like honey. Jesus. Her scent hits me like a gallon of shine.

I press my lips to the skin of her neck an' taste the saltiness of her sweat mixed with that soap. I hear her sigh at my ear as she pulls my face back to hers. I look into her eyes, I needa know she wants this. I can't risk fuckin' this up, it'll hurt us both. She bites down on my lower lip an' it's all the proof I need. I lift her up as she kisses me, carry her to that bed an' set her down.

Even in the dark, the sight of her layin' there in nothin' but her bra an' jeans coulda killed me. I can feel the familiar stir in me but, as nervous as I am, I tell myself I can't stop. Her eyes rake over my upper body. I put my hands to work, undoin' her jeans an' pullin' them offa her so she ain't wearin' nothin' but her bra an' underwear. I almost groan just lookin' at her. I fight myself back enough to turn an' grab a condom outta her bag. When I come back 'round, she's sittin' up watchin' me. I can't make out the look on her face.

"Daryl, we can do this your way. I'm not gonna push that on you anymore. I said it myself: Love is love. I like what we do. I don't need more than that."

I just stare at her, can't get my feet to move from the spot. She's given me an out. In the back of my mind, I tell myself to take it. Give myself more time to open up. But somethin' else pushes that aside. I'd never live with myself if we never got the chance again. This is what she wanted. I shake my head at her an' take a deep breath. My voice is a low rumble from my chest. "I wanna try your way."

Her whole face lights up as I make my way over to her on the bed. I lay back an' pull her on my lap. Ever since Carol interrupted us the other day, I couldn't get the sight outta my mind of Beth on top of me. I watch as she reaches behind her, undoin' her bra an' tossin' it to the floor. She undoes my buckle, pulls my jeans just past my hips. She bends down to kiss me, sayin' how much she loves me.

My fuckin' heart nearly bursts outta my chest when I feel her small hand reach into my boxers an' pull me out. I throw my head back against the pillow, a low growl escapes me as she picks up a rhythm an' grips me tighter. I sit up to reach out an' grab her hips, pullin' her hand offa me. I hold her over me, my mouth claims hers as my fingers push aside the only fabric between us. I lay back again as I roll the condom down. She smiles as she slowly lowers herself, a small sigh parts her lips at the feelin'. I grip the sheets tightly as she starts to move.

I could die a happy fuckin' man with the image of her on top of me burned in my damn mind. I placed my hands on her hips to show her the right rhythm. My eyes locked on hers as she rocked against me. As uncomfortable's holdin' her gaze was, I couldn't look away if I tried. Everything 'bout her was fuckin' beautiful. The hungry look in her eyes that told me she was starved for me. When she'd throw her head back an' the throaty moans reached my ears. How her small chest bounced with the movements. She'd lean forward an' dig her nails into my skin, her hair fallin' past her face. I was fuckin' drunk on her. I felt that animal in me clawin' to the surface. If I let the bastard come through, it's under my control this time.

"You trust me?"