"You trust me?"

His voice is ragged underneath of me. Everything inside me's on fire with the sensation of him. Once I started to move faster, he'd started buckin' his hips up into me. His head would fall back as he swore under his breath an' whispered out to a God we both know he doesn't believe in. I'd never touched a single drug in my whole life, never even lit up a cigarette. I don't know what it feels like to be high, but I reckon the feelin' I have now is pretty darn close. I look down at him, an' the way he looks up at me is nothin' short of worship.

"Course I trust you."

He gives me a wolfish grin that makes my heart stop. The usual storm in his eyes has intensified, causin' my breathin' to hitch. I feel his fingers dig into my skin as he sits up to face me, the movement pushin' him deeper inside an' causin' me to cry out. His mouth's at my ear, his voice a wicked purr.

"Hop offa me, baby. Take off your underwear."

I couldn't hold back the whimper. He called me baby. I knew he thought it was stupid, but he knew I liked it. Even in such a sinful tone, it melted my heart. I pull away from him an' stand at the side of the bed. He watches me as I cock my hip to one side an' do my best attempt to shimmy my underwear down like the women did in the movies. Part of me feels like an idiot. I don't know how to be seductive or sexy. But the thought slips away when he speaks to me.

"Jesus Christ. You're so fuckin' beautiful."

I almost feel lightheaded. He takes my hand an' pulls me back to him. He doesn't say anything to me as he positions me on my hands an' knees. He leans over my back, his hands at my thighs pushin' my legs apart. My breathin' comes out in pants now. I feel his lips at my shoulder, trailin' to my neck before his voice is low in my ear again. "I love you, Beth."

I meant to tell him I loved him as he sat back up but he pushed hisself inside of me. It was just like back in the hayloft. I cried out as he rocked into me. For a while, he sets a fast pace, thrustin' into me almost painfully. My fingers claw at the sheets as I feel the build quicken inside of me. His arms wrapped around me as he pulled my body up to his, never breakin' our connection as he shifted me so I was sittin' on his thighs. My legs outlined his as he held me, my back to his chest. The new feelin' was almost too intense, but it was too beautiful to make him stop. I couldn't be positive if it was his intention, but he'd perfectly blended both our needs. I had wanted to try new things with him, wanted him to be passionate. He'd wanted to be gentle an' show me just how much he loved me. It was perfect.

His lips moved to my neck again, his breath warm against my skin as he kissed an' nipped at me. He'd slowed our pace, no longer rockin' into me. I could feel every push an' pull. It was good but it wasn't good enough, I thought I was gonna lose my mind. He seemed to enjoy it. His face buried in my neck, suckin' on my skin. I could feel his tongue move up the side of my neck before he gently bit down on my earlobe. I tried to move my hips against his, tried to do anything to put out the fire burnin' deep inside of me. I felt him smile against my skin as one of his arms tightened around my chest, the other a vice around my hips.

"Easy, baby. I got you."

The moan ripped from my throat when the hand at my hips dropped between my legs, his fingers strokin' me as he continued his slow pace. There were too many sensations at once, an' none were under my control. I felt like I was wound too tight. I moaned again an' the hand at my chest came over my mouth to silence me. He laughed in my ear an' I realized just how much I loved the more carefree side of Daryl.

"You'll wake up the whole damn house."

The fingers at my thighs moved faster, his hips still slow. I could feel the tightenin' inside of me. I was almost afraid of the tidal wave that was about to overcome me. I could tell he was gettin' close, too. He'd growl in my ear, moan into my shoulder. I felt him tense up under me, his teeth sunk into my shoulder an' I felt like everything inside of me exploded. I sighed into his hand as he turned my face to his. When our lips met, it was a tangle of kisses, tongues an' moans.

Daryl fell back, draggin' me with him. I winced a little as he pulled outta me. He moved us to our sides, rollin' onto our backs, an' we lay there catchin' our breaths. I looked up to see his arm over his eyes, the other arm across his chest. In what little light there was in the room, I could see the sweat gleamin' on his torso. I grabbed his hand an' pulled it to my mouth, kissin' his palm. He dropped his other arm from his face. For a minute, he looked nervous. I recognized the tactic before he had a chance to complete it. I had to pull him offa the edge. He'd done nothin' wrong.

"That was perfect, Daryl. Thank you."

He brought his hand to his mouth an' I worried over whatever he could be thinkin'. Before I could say anything more, he stood up an' pulled off the condom. He tossed it in the waste basket next to the bed. I saw him zip his jeans back up. He looked back down to me an' gave me a small smile. I watched as he went back to the pile of clothes we'd cast aside, pullin' his t-shirt back on, throwin' his crossbow over his shoulder. He reached into his bag an' grabbed somethin', I just couldn't make it out from here. I sat up to look at him.

"Daryl?"

"It's okay. Just really gotta take a piss." He held up the pack of cigarettes I'd gotten him at the store. "An' after that, I needa fuckin' smoke. Bad. I'll be right back."

I laughed at him an' the warm smile he gave me made any worries I had go away. I watched him carefully open the door an' slip outta the room, a cigarette between his lips. I got up from the bed, put my underwear back on an' grabbed his flannel shirt offa the floor. Before I pulled it over me I ran my nose over the collar, inhalin' the scent of tobacco, leather an' sweat. I could never get tired of the smell of Daryl Dixon.

It's fuckin' cold out here. I'd just finished takin' a piss over the porch an' lit up my cigarette. I look 'round the neighborhood we're in. All these fuckin' houses were too big an' too close together. There's hardly a yard between any of 'em. I can't imagine ever livin' in a place like this. I blow the smoke outta the side of my mouth.

The house 'cross the street has a swing set in the front yard, one with a slide. I imagine Asskicker would like to have somethin' like that when she's older. Hate that the kid won't ever get to really do kid shit. Fuck, not if I can help it. I know what a shitty childhood's like. I'll always grab what I can along the way to make her happy. I ain't gonna have that little girl grow up the way I did. Not when she actually has people that love her.

I take another drag as I lean over the porch an' look down. There's a doghouse next to the garage. Figure they musta taken him with 'em. I'd always wanted a dog, ever since I could remember. There had been these kids next to us when I was younger an' their parents used to breed huntin' labs. I remember goin' over to play with the puppies. Those kids coulda cared less. Said they had to deal with the dogs all the time. I remember thinkin' I woulda given anything I had to even have one dog. But the old man didn't like animals that weren't for eatin'.

I knock the ash off my cigarette 'fore bringin' it back to my mouth. I hear someone movin' 'round in the house. It's comin' from right behind me, so I know it's the kitchen. I decide to check it out, grindin' the rest of my cigarette into the porch railin' an' flickin' it over the side. I open the front door, lockin' it back up behind me. I get to the door on my right an' my fingers grip the handle. 'Fore I go walkin' into God knows what, I get my senses back. This June Fuckin' Cleaver house wife shit's gonna fuck with all our better judgement. I gotta remember to keep my common sense on alert, there ain't no safe places out here. I draw my bow in front of me an' open the door quietly's I can.

"I don't know what my purpose is anymore, Father. I'm no longer the watchful shepherd over the flock. I've become a lost lamb. Please guide me with your light, show me the way back into your good graces."

Gabriel's at the kitchen table, head rested on clasped hands. I see a bottle in front of him, an' somethin' tells me he's taken one too many swigs from the fuckin' communion trough. His words were sluggish, not slurred. An' he's fuckin' cryin' again. Dumb bastard hasn't even noticed I'm standin' in the doorway.

"Is it these people, Father? Are they my new purpose? I'd thought you'd sent them to punish me, but now I'm not so sure. I want to believe you brought us together for some reason. I can feel it amongst them, somethin' dark. Please, Father, help me to see your way once again. Help me to pull them back into the light."

"If he's taken any requests, tell him we could use a fuckin' tank. An' more cigarettes."

He jumps at the sound of my voice an' turns to me, almost knockin' the bottle on the ground. I lean back against the doorframe. I watch as he tries to get outta his chair, but falls back on his ass. I point at the bottle.

"Ain't indulgence a sin?"

He laughs at me, but there's no humor to it. The man's nothin' short of miserable. What's worst is he's the reason for his own misery. No matter how long you struggle to right what you done, the memory will haunt you the rest of your life. I almost feel bad for him. Then I think of what he's guilty of an' I feel my sympathy run dry.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you, Derrick?"

Now I laugh at him. I can't tell if it's the alcohol or he just don't know my name. But, for some reason, it's so stupid that it's funny.

"The name's Daryl. An', no. I went out to take a piss an' smoke when I heard you. You plan on settin' up a confessional in here?"

"My son, why do you find it necessary to mock the Christian faith?"

Now that ain't somethin' I'd expected from him. I don't have an answer. What do I say? How my faith never gotta good chance to fuckin' blossom growin' up in a pit of Hell on earth? I ain't ever believed in no higher powers. It was me I had to turn to for answers to my problems. When we was kids, Merle used to believe in all that shit. Up until our mama died an' our father only got worst. He'd wised up after that. Then I remember when he'd come back with me to the prison. He'd told me that he'd started readin' a bible in some library they had there. I couldn't believe my own ears. He told me that he'd figured he'd play it safe just in case. I'll never understand it.

"Faith ain't ever helped me none. Look 'round you, Gabriel. You tell me what part of this world's s'posed to make me believe in sunshine an' castles in the clouds."

His face falls, I can see it in the dark. It ain't my place to tell him or anyone else what they gotta believe. Fuck if I care. I realize I don't wanna be in here right now. For the most part, I'd had a pretty damn good night. Those are fuckin' rare. I decide to let him drown in sorrow on his own an' tell him I'm headin' back up to my room. I open the door an' panic grips my heart. Where the fuck's Beth?

I walk into the room, but it ain't big enough for me not to see her if she was here. I close the door behind me an' turn to the door a few feet away. I'm immediately grateful it's the bathroom an' I didn't walk in on any of the others. The good feelin' don't last. She ain't in there either. I decide to check downstairs 'fore I start lookin' through the other rooms. I get to the door at the bottom of the stairs an' step inside.

"The fuck you doin' down here, Beth?"

I keep my voice down, knowin' there's others sleepin' in the next room. She's got a candle an' she's lookin' through the bookshelves. She turns to me smilin'. As pissed's I am that she went off- unarmed - I can't help but feel relieved to see she's fine. This girl's honestly gonna be the end of me. She tries to whisper, but excitement got the better of her.

"Daryl, look at all these books they had!"

I walk over to her, set my bow down on the couch. They had a lotta fuckin' books. There's bookshelves 'cross three walls, the fourth wall's a large stone fireplace in the center. I never understood the need for readin' anything that weren't directions, maps or manuals. Not like I couldn't read, I just had better shit to do with my time. Readin' was always Merle's thing. She pulls a book offa the shelf just in front of her.

"Oh, Daryl! It's A Christmas Carol!"

I watch her face light up in the glow of the candle. She's actually pretty happy 'bout some old, dusty book. She heads over to the couch an' sits down, tryin' hard to read by candlelight. I roll my eyes at her.

"Gimme a minute."

I run back up the stairs to our room. I'd found a flashlight a while back on one of our supply runs at the prison. Threw it in my bag 'cause I never knew when I'd need it. I never once thought to use it, figured I was savin' batteries. Guess now's a good a time as any to break it in. I take it back down the stairs to the room. She looks up at me an' the smile she gives me's worth all the batteries in the world. I sit next to her on the couch an' lean back against the arm. I pull her to me, back against my chest, as I hold the light over her shoulder. She opens the book an' reads out loud, her voice quiet an' mesmerizin'.

"Marley was dead to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, an' the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it, an' Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail."

"Jesus Christ. Thought you said this was some Christmas book? Ain't Christmas s'posed to be happy? This shit's depressin'." She laughs at me an' her head falls back on my chest.

"Daryl, it's one of my favorites! Haven't you ever heard of Ebenezer Scrooge? The man who was cold hearted an' greedy?"

"Can't say I have."

"It's a beautiful story, a classic. It elaborates the spirit of Christmas an' how even the worst man can change for the better when he opens his heart."

I pick up on what she's said. A book 'bout a man who changes from bad to good. She hadn't meant it towards me, but I suddenly wanna know the story. I know there ain't no magic answer in that damn thing that'll tell me what to do. But least I might get some idea from it. I lean down an' kiss her cheek.

"Keep readin'."

She turns to smile at me, then picks up where she left off. I bring my free arm behind my head as I listen to her.

"Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail."

I smile up at the ceilin' as she continues. It ain't long 'fore she falls asleep an' I take the book outta her hand, foldin' the page she left off at an' settin' it next to me on the floor. I know I could carry her up to the bedroom, but somethin' 'bout this room drew her in. Gently's I can, I pull her up to me. I see a quilt draped over the back of the couch an' throw it over us. I actually feel myself smilin' as I fall asleep.

A/N: *** I do not own A Christmas Carol or The Walking Dead.*** I had thought back to Merle being in the prison, when Hershel was quoting a verse from the bible and Merle finished it. He'd said that the best thing in Woodbury was the library. I always liked that line. It made everybody realize that he wasn't some "dumb redneck". I think a lot of people assume Daryl's not very bright either, but I disagree. I think his shyness and rough edges give off that impression, but I remember the deleted scene from S1, where he'd told them they weren't being observant (when they go back to the nursing home and find them all dead, the others assume walkers). Andrea mocks him by pointing out his use of a "three syllable word". He then explains that all the people were shot execution style and the walkers only showed up after. He tells the group that he'd be more worried about the people that did that than the walkers. Then he turns to Andrea and says, "Get a dictionary. Look it up. Observant." I LOVED that and hate that it was only a deleted scene. The part in S2 where Andrea gives him the book and he mentions how it doesn't have pictures makes him look like he's trying to joke about her previous assumption that he was stupid. Alrighty, then. End of that rant. Lol. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Can't wait to finish the next one! :)