Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time.

I've been trying to handle things going on at the moment and it just takes a lot out of me, and it is hard to find time to update since now I am back to writing out the chapter which before they were already pre-written from a while back.

Sorry once more.

Love you all

'Her vitals seem to be alight from what I can see…her heart rate is normal. The only problem she can encounter is a slight headache from the fall.'

"Thanks…" I squeezed my eyes shut tight at his voice. Needle like pain prodded at my leg and chest making it cave in on itself. My stomached burned with some unknown feeling. I was agonized by this paralyzing pain always cursing me with the slightest misstep. I knew they knew I was awake now, for their conversation had stopped.

My eyes slowly lifted up. "You're awake!" I was in an infirmary from the looks of it, somewhere I had never been. It was strange being in a hospital like setting during the apocalypse. "I'm Alice." My eyebrows furrowed at her name. "I came in with the Woodbury lot…" she sensed confusion. "I knew your brother…" My face crinkled even more. "Kristopher?" I relaxed my confused features to just stare at her. The nerve of him… "Oh god you have amnesia! I am so stupid!"

"No, no I-I just am a little foggy." I reached over to touch her wrist from hitting herself in the face. "I am R-!"

"Rose." She beamed. "Milton told me all about you, and Daryl here."

I did not glance at him to my side. "Milton?"

"Yeah we worked together while in Woodbury. He taught me everything a need to know to take care of people, and also I read a couple things. I am a quick learner when showed what to do." Alice was proud of herself something that almost seemed lacked in her bright personality. "He told me about how you came from a prison, and The Governor kept you hidden away, but you escaped, and he also told me about…about the baby." She looked down.

I took a sharp breath watching shame drift over her features. "Do you miss him?"

"Of course," she brought her eyes up to mine. "He was a good person."

"He was a great one."

She scratched the back of her head. "I found you in the bathroom passed out. You feinted I suppose from stress, or dehydration, I can't tell. Do you remember cutting off your hair?" I nodded. "You hit your head, but other that you should be perfectly normal."

I finally looked over at Daryl then back to the dark haired girl, at least it seemed dark to me. "Alice, do you mind giving Daryl and I a second alone?"

She nodded and scurried to the door. "Just holler if you need anything."

"Care to explain?" one of his hand sat under his nose where his lip and skin met while the other massaged his temple near his right eye; he was angry.

"About?"

"I heard everything Rose." His hands clutched themselves to the side of the bed I laid in. "You need to stop this."

"I can't." my voice cracked and I regretted letting the worlds leave my mouth.

He sighed hearing my quivering emotions. "I understand that you are very upset with everything going on, but pushing people who love you away is not going to fix anything you feel. When Merle died you told me to be strong, and how you would do anything to take my pain away. I am sitting here begging to do the same, yet you shove me away like some plague. You told me to not wallow in my own grief well now I am telling you the same. We don't get time to be upset." He grabbed my hand. "I love you Rose. Isn't that enough to make you keep fighting."

"I don't even know what love is anymore…" I gritted my teeth yanking my hand away from him. "You think I would sit here and take advice from you? Do you choose to forget that fact you left me just like Keegan did? Or was that some plan to not feel guilty? Because I don't think you quite understand how hurt someone can be when they're left all on their own to figure out why someone, who they thought loved them, would ever abandoned them. I am sick of everyone treating me like some girl who will just forgive them if they walk all over me, treating me like I will be okay if they just waltz out of my life then decide to rejoin it. People don't deserve to do that! People can't just come into your life, make and impact on it, then leave without a slight goodbye." I felt proud at my refusal to cry out with anger. "I have lost everything I once knew about myself because of you, because of Keegan, because of everything in this god damn apocalypse. Sometime I forget I am even human and not just like those things outside the fence. I am just like the walking dead."

"You aren't like those things Rose." His lip quivered. "You can come back from this trauma, I know you can. You aren't too far gone." His hand squeezed mine. "Don't leave me."

I turned to him. His sweaty face covered in despair that came with dark hair clouded eyes. The sadness that drank up those pupils of his yearning to hear his brother, hold our child, live in peace…all these things I wanted also. I wanted to go back to how everything used to be, but my heart could not repair itself. My brain told me to shut him out, to shut Keegan out, to shut everything out to survive. I was playing tug-a-rope with my sanity; teeter tottering on the verge of that vast ocean of breaking my being apart. I clung to his fingertips trying to hold on for the sake of his heart because I knew he needs me to help him get better. It was hard to hold out just for him. He deserved better than what I had to offer, with my banged up heart and wounded soul. I had let myself slip away from an older version of me I knew that could never come back, so how could I change for him. How could I ever make him satisfied with me? I could never give him to love Daryl longs for. Not with this home wrecked personality. "I don't know what to do Daryl."

"Let me love you. Let me care for you, and everything else will come back. Accept that it is okay to let people in." he must knew everything on the art of shutting people out.

"They'll just leave again…"

His grip on my hand tightened. "I will never leave you again. There is nowhere else I would rather be than with you. I know you may not trust my promise, but the truth is there."

I glared off into the room. "I can't love you Daryl. It not possible."

He was silent for a moment drinking in the words I just rambled out. "Please…Don't do this. Not now. We-we can fix this, but only together." So much pain in his voice.

"I am sorry." My voice held no sympathy. I was disgusted with what I had become. "But you deserve better than me."

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me Rose!" he was pacing around my bed now clanking around the concrete floor with anxiety of loneliness. "You made my life worth living, you made me open up, you made me a better person! You made me love again, you made you happy! You are everything I deserve!"

"It's too hard for me."

"Too hard! How is it too hard to love me! You used to do it all the time how is it hard to feel that passion again?" he shouted and I could hear him breaking down.

I squeezed my eyes tight. "It's hard to feel anything anymore. Please Daryl, just leave me be. I need to be alone."

"Don't! Don't say that! You don't mean it!" he was screaming and kicking things around the room littering it with various medical tools Alice was cleaning.

As I thought her name the door opened and she walked in. "Daryl, maybe it's best if you let her rest. She's very fatigued…" I watched him hunch away without a world. My head was spinning, my chest was burning, and my breaths felt hard to get out. What had I just done? I gave away the only good thing in my life. He deserved better that you. But I deserved him right? He could never love a girl so damaged and banged up. I could get better, with him, for him. "He really does love you."

"You don't think I know that." I spat out at her.

Alice shook her head. "People leave, people die, bad things happen to good people we can't explain, no one gets what they want, hearts get broken, dreams get crushed, and hope always seems impossible, but you fight. You fight because you have too; you fight because you need to. Even though you feel like you aren't important if you were to be lost someone out there cares so much about you they would be just as you had been if you were lost. Just as lonely, just as depressed, and just as insane. You think you don't need anyone, but people need you Rose. Daryl needs you and deep inside you empty heart you need Daryl. You need him to sew up all those ripped up seems, you need him to nail back together the broken pieces of your heart, you need him to tape up your tattered trust, you need him to love you until you are you again."

"You don't know anything." I glared away.

"No," she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "But I know enough to tell you to suck up this mopey attitude and get back out there and do something about figuring out your life. You are only mad when you allow yourself to be so. Forgive you brother, love Daryl, and most of all stop feeling so guilty." I flicked my gaze up at her. "I see it in your eyes, the shame. I used to have to same gaze when my father died because of me."

My expression softened. "How did you get over it?"

"I realized that being alone just makes me more pissed off at myself. I hated my whole existence because of that. But I found out soon enough there is a choice on whether or not you want to shut down or move on, and it is up to you when you choose." She gave me a small smile. "Let it go. Holding onto things for a long time isn't healthy, causes wrinkles form stress."

I laughed for the first time in a while.

I laughed so hard I began to cry, which soon turned into a sob, which then turned into blubbering out everything to Alice.

Just an f.y.i. Alice is a character in The Walking Dead graphic novels. I loved her character so much I decided to bring her in.