New chapter up. Enjoy.

Zanthia POV

I sat next to the holoprojector on my ship, preparing it to record. I couldn't leave the Order without leaving a message for Master Kiwiiks. She had been more than just my teacher and mentor, she was also my friend, my family, and the closest I would ever come to having a mother. She deserved that much at least. I also hoped that a message would deter the Order from looking for me.

I took a calming breath and hit record.

"Masters,"

"I hate to do this by holo, but…" I stopped, turning my head away with a growl then turned back towards the holorecorer. "That's a lie. I can't start this message with a lie. The truth is, I haven't enough courage to do this in person, so a holo will have to suffice. I must leave the Order. Something happened to me on Hoth, and though I didn't give you specifics, and still can't, the experience changed me. I know all of you have seen it. Those changes made me a better Jedi, a better person. I've been thinking long and hard about several questions. Several questions I just can't answer. Until I can, I can not, in good conscience, continue to serve as a Jedi Knight. I value what I have learned from you and will take those teachings with me on my journey. I will live by them as best I can. I hope someday we'll meet again and I'll be able to explain why I'm leaving."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I was doing my best to control my emotions.

"Take care of each other and may the Force be with you all."

I reach out with the Force and shut down the recorder.

I sat quietly in the room Saganu had given me on his ship, just looking at the starlines. The view while in hyperspace had always been stunning to me. The sight lulled me into almost a meditative state.

"You seem relaxed." Saganu said, entering the room.

I looked up to him and smiled. "Perhaps on the outside. On the inside, I'm a swirling vortex of nervous energy and self doubt. As a Jedi, I've been trained to hide it and work around it. I guess I don't have to do that anymore, considering I'm no longer a Jedi."

Saganu sat next to me. "You are still a Jedi. Dropping a title doesn't change who you really are. You, my dear, are a Jedi and will probably always be a Jedi, even if it's only in your own mind. I would truly hate for you to stop being yourself."

I chuckled. I had never really thought about it like that, but he was right. Just because I left the Order, it didn't mean I stopped being that person. I was merely expanding my mind. Trying new things. Learning for myself if I truly wanted to remain an active Jedi Knight of the Order, or if my destiny lay along a different path. I had never been given the option. Now I was taking the option for myself.

"You're right. Being a Jedi isn't a job, it's a state of being." I leaned back in my seat, relaxing fully, not just on the outside. "I think I might learn a great deal from you. You're unlike anyone I have ever known."

"I hope that is a good thing." He said.

I smiled at him, placing a hand on his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss.

"It's a very good thing. Though, I'll admit, this whole situation will take some getting used to. I'm not used to participating in open displays of affection."

Saganu placed his hand over the one still resting on his cheek, then turned and kissed the palm. "I think you're doing fine in that respect, if you want my opinion."

We sat for a long time, in comfortable silence, simply holding hands and watching space pass.

To Be Continued...