I'd like to start off, once again, by thanking all of you who follow this story. You all help me move along with your support and suggestions. You're really the best :)

Secondly, I'll be lumping together a few of the first chapters to give me more room to continue Push. If things look weird or different, that would be why. Haha! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

We step through the broken glass of the door. I pull out the two flashlights an' hand one to Jesse, the other to Beth. Figure him an' Rosita can go one way, me an' Beth the other. Shit gets done faster when you split up. Jesse shines his light ahead of us. The place's been searched through already. Racks are turned over an' shit's scattered on the floor. We're lucky if they didn't take everything we need.

"I think me and Beth should look for the stuff for Rick's little girl."

Beth's light falls on Rosita, standin' there with her gun at her side. I don't want the two of 'em splittin' up on their own. I don't want Beth outta my sight. But she agrees to go with Rosita 'fore I can argue. She kisses my cheek an' they set off to the left. I watch as their light grows smaller an' I shake off the fear of what could happen. Jesse clears his throat.

"Well, guess that leaves you an' me."

Of all the fuckin' people I gotta comb through the damn store with, it's the last person I even wanted to have tag along. I let him keep the light to hold. We don't just give out guns to newcomers, so he'll be in charge of makin' sure we see where we're goin'. He shines the light in fronta us an' we head off lookin' for any ammo that coulda been left behind. He don't say nothin' to me, an' I can't help but appreciate that. I don't much feel like talkin', anyways. Not when we don't know what's in here. It's quiet, all I hear's our footsteps on the floor.

"Why didn't you wanna bring your crossbow?"

So much for the not talkin'. My hand hovers over the gun at my hip. I ain't had a way to secure the bow to the bike. I had to wear the backpack to put the shit we find in. 'Sides, my crossbow woulda been too much to carry on that small ass bike with Beth behind me.

"Gun's easier."

My voice's gruff. He musta got the hint, he don't ask me anymore questions. When we come to a section of men's clothes he grabs the first coat he sees offa the rack. It's big an' black. He holds it up in fronta him an' decides it'll work. We don't say anything to each other, just keep walkin'.

We get closer to the back of the store when we see the sign over the huntin' section. He sweeps the light from side to side an' the place looks torn apart. He follows me behind the counter where the broken glass shows us all them weapons were taken. I start to scan the floor when he turns the light away from me. I follow where he's aimed it, right at the counter. He walks over an' opens the drawers, pullin' out a handgun.

"I used to work in a place like this when I was fifteen. Owner made us keep a loaded gun under the counter in case we got robbed."

I'd be lyin' if I said I weren't impressed he'd thought of that. Without a word he grips it by the barrel an' hands it to me. I'd thought he woulda tried to keep it for hisself, but I take it from him. We find a few boxes of ammo an' I don't take the time to see what kind. We got all sorts of guns back at camp. Bound to have somethin' we need here. He opens his pack an' we start silently loadin' it. He flashes the light on one of the racks where he finds a few small knives, packin' 'em in the bag. After a clean sweep of the area, we head off to find the girls.

He turns down one aisle an' we see our first walker. The bastard musta worked here, he's still wearin' a tattered vest. Don't even notice us here yet. I hand the gun to Jesse but he don't take it from me. Ain't exactly the time to be shy.

"Why don't you take care of it?"

He can't be serious. It's only one walker. 'Sides, I'd like to see him prove he can handle the gun. Eventually he's gotta carry one for hisself. I don't withdraw my hand. He looks like he's gonna be sick. "You gotta problem with guns or killin' walkers?"

He don't answer me. Just when I'm 'bout to shove the thing in his hand, the walker turns 'round. In the light, I see his name tag still on the fronta his vest: Michael. I glare down at Jesse for a second, pissed that he froze up the way he did. "Fuck's sake. Guess I'll put Michael down."

I put the gun in the back of my jeans an' grab my buck knife offa my hip. Don't needa be wastin' bullets or attractin' whatever else could be in here over one dead fuck. I force the blade into his forehead an' rip it out as he sinks to the ground. When I turn back to Jesse, he looks even sicker than he did 'fore. Then it hits me.

"You ain't ever killed one 'fore?"

He won't answer, just looks to the ground. He don't needa say nothin'. It's plain as day. I feel myself gettin' pissed off. He'd told Rick he'd killed at least eight. Why'd he lie to us? 'Fore I can ask what the fuck's goin' on, he finally speaks.

"I've never killed any of them. I could never kill a person, livin' or dead." He looks into my eyes. I realize he's sayin' he lied to us twice.

"What 'bout your brother?"

He turns his face wipin' at his eyes. I'd thought he'd least know how to handle hisself out here. Why'd he risk his own skin for a supply run if he don't even plan on protectin' hisself?

"He got bit. I didn't know what to do when the fever struck. He cried in pain an' I just sat there. I couldn't kill him; not my own brother. He was all I had left. That's the real reason I left that house. He died an' I got away before he could turn an' kill me."

I drop my eyes to the floor. It reminded me of findin' Merle out there. He'd turned. It wasn't easy puttin' him down, weren't somethin' I could just do. I don't wanna hold that against the kid. Bein' the one to kill my brother after he'd turned weren't exactly somethin' I'd brag 'bout. I'm still pissed that he lied 'bout killin' walkers, but I get it now. He wanted us to think he was strong.

"C'mon. Gotta find the girls."

A scream breaks through the air, followed by a gunshot. Me an' Jesse take off runnin' in the direction it came from. Rosita's on the floor, Beth's standin' over her with her gun shakin' in her hand. Just in fronta Rosita's a big ass walker, it's skull's blown out in fronta them. The rack next to them's turned over, bras are all over the floor. Beth sees me an' lowers her gun.

"It snuck up on us. We just got all we needed for Judith an' saw these here."

I look 'round the floor. They'd been attacked lookin' through fuckin' underwear. I fight down my anger, but Rosita musta seen the look on my face. She stands an' gives me a dirty look.

"Just 'cause you men feel the need to wear the same filthy underwear everyday, doesn't mean the ladies have to."

I roll my eyes at her as the two of 'em pick up what they'd dropped. Once they pack away what they can, we set back to the fronta the store. Beth takes my hand an' lets out a sigh. "I'm glad we only ran into the one. Y'all didn't see any walkers, did you?"

I don't know why I do it. I mostly think it's 'cause I felt sorry for the kid, but a part of it's 'cause he hadn't been watchin' Beth while she was lookin' through fuckin' underwear. Maybe he weren't much of a threat to me, after all.

"Naw. Ain't none where we were."

Jesse turns to me. I look anywhere but his face. He ain't a bad kid. I know that. He's what Beth would call good people. I think that's what's threatened me most 'bout him. He's somethin' she looks for in this world. The last thing I'd want is her thinkin' they're meant for each other or some stupid shit. I don't wanna think of that. The kid couldn't kill his own brother, can't kill walkers. He's holdin' onto the way things were. Least she has me to remind her the world's changed. Jesse ain't had nobody to show him that.

Camp's just ahead of us, I can see they made a small fire. We speed up, Beth's legs tightenin' 'round me. I pull in fronta Jesse right next to the first van. Maggie walks over to us, helpin' Beth offa the bike. She looks over to the other two, then back at me.

"Glad y'all made it in one piece. C'mon over by the fire. Rick an' Abraham wanna go over our plans for when the fuel runs out."

We follow her over, Jesse an' Rosita right behind us. Me an' Beth sit next to Maggie an' Glenn. I'm surprised when Jesse sits at my other side. He smiles at me an' I nod in return. I can't help but be reminded of all those fuckin' people at the prison that'd wanna be near me. It's a little unnervin'. Maggie passes down some canned food an' we eat while Rick speaks to us.

"As y'all know, we're runnin' low on fuel. We're gonna ride out until they won't go further. After that, we're back on foot."

It's common sense. I'd already figured we'd take them far's they'd go an' then walk. We might be able to find more cars on the road. It's gettin' colder everyday. All's I can think of is tryin' to keep Lil Asskicker warm. I look over to Carl holdin' his sister in his lap. Got her wrapped in a blanket we took from one of the houses. Ain't no way for a baby to live. We gotta figure somethin' out 'fore the weather gets worst. I know Rick's thinkin' the same thing. Written all over his face.

I finish eatin' an' stand to grab our tent outta the van. I'd already said I'd keep first watch tonight, an' that we weren't stayin' in a van with the others. 'Sides, me an' Beth ain't had a chance to be alone since earlier. I hear someone followin' an' I turn to see Jesse right behind me.

"Daryl, I wanted to thank you. For earlier? You didn't have to lie for me. I don't deserve that."

I lean back against the door, cross my arms over my chest an' look at him. He don't look sick no more. I hear Beth laugh an' I turn to see her an' Maggie talkin', both smilin' at each other. I look back to Jesse an' see him starin' at 'em, too. Son of a bitch. I'm 'bout to say somethin', holdin' back the urge to throw him to the ground an' break every last one of his ribs with the steel toe of my boot when he glances back at me. He's smilin'.

"Me an' Beth have a lot in common, don't we?"

I physically bite down on my tongue. He's still grinnin' at me. The muscles in my jaw tighten an' my fists clench. Now I wanna break a lot more than just his fuckin' ribs. He either don't pick up on my mood or he don't care, 'cause he keeps on talkin'.

"I can see it in her. She's a good girl, almost too good for this world. That's somethin' my brother used to say to me a lot, that I was too good to survive alone. He was right, you know. If I hadn't found y'all, I'd be dead in no time."

His words seep through the red, ain't where I thought we was goin' with that. It's strange for me to see another man, even a fuckin' kid, admittin' how weak he is. Shit, Carl's got bigger balls than this guy. I don't know what to say, an' I'm still tryin' to calm myself down.

"You're good for her."

I look him in the eyes. He don't look like he's bein' sarcastic. My anger starts to slip away. I scratch at my chin, my fingers brush over my lips. I don't know what to say to that. He ain't the first person to tell me that I'm good for her. I can only hope they're right.

"When I first met y'all, I thought you were her older brother or somethin', the way you were so protective over her when you saw us standin' together."

"We look like brother an' sister to you?"

He laughs. "You looked at least like half-siblin's. Well, you did up until you kissed her in the van. I know I don't know all y'all well enough. But I can see she's lucky to have someone like you to take care of her."

I just stare at him, no words come to me. He sighs an' turns 'round, headin' back to the group. Beth looks up at him, then looks to me. She stands an' walks over here. Her hand takes mine, lockin' our fingers together. She nods over to Jesse.

"What was that about?"

I shrug. How do I begin to tell her what he said 'bout her? That she's too good for this world an' the only reason she's still here is 'cause of me? I grab our tent an' pull it out. Beth reaches in an' grabs her bag, hands me my bow an' follows me to just outside the group. Settin' it up, I can hear the others startin' to settle in. The fire's been stomped out an' things go quiet. I sit on the asphalt, my bow at my side an' she sits down next to me. For a while, we just sit quietly. I can hear her hummin', some tune I ain't ever heard 'fore. It's relaxin'. Then she stops.

"So, you do like my singin'."

I smile, but it's too dark for her to see it. I could honestly listen to her sing all the damn time. I never realized back at the prison just how soothin' it was for everybody. Beth was a rare find. Someone who can find the will to lift the spirits of all them people 'round her in the only way she knew how.

"It's okay. You don't have to admit it again."

I can hear the smile in her voice an' swear at the dark for keepin' the image from me. She would never force my hand at emotions, not after she broke through to me at the shack. Gotta appreciate the way she can pick up on things without drillin' me for information. It's hard enough tryin' to deal with these feelin's on my own. But I remember Maggie tellin' me earlier how I ain't alone no more, how others feel the way I do.

Beth doesn't seem likely to hold herself up high. I can see it every time she touches her wrist. Even when she undresses in fronta me, she looks like it embarrasses her. I gotta remember she ain't like other women. She ain't ever gonna ask me to reassure her of herself.

"You got a beautiful voice."

Even in the dark, her hand finds mine an' she holds tightly. I look off to the camp an' barely make out Jesse climbin' into one of the vans with Gabriel. Carol an' Tyrese follow 'em in. Beth sighs.

"Don't you feel sorry for him? Jesse, I mean. Poor guy havin' to kill his own brother an' all."

Not that I need her fuckin' sympathy, but I don't ever recollect her tellin' me she's sorry I had to kill Merle after he turned. I'm even angrier 'cause I know the boy ain't killed nobody. I grind my teeth. We already fought today. I don't wanna go through that shit again. I try to calm myself, but can't hide the anger in my voice.

"He ain't the only one. Or you already forget 'bout my brother while worryin' over that boy?"

I hear her sigh next to me. Least she don't push me away. Instead her fingers knot through mine an' she squeezes tighter. Her voice's gentle when she speaks to me.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't meant it like that. It's just...you're so much stronger. You don't ever bring it up an' sometimes it's easy to forget."

Course. It's fuckin' easy for this whole damn camp to forget 'bout my asshole brother. Ain't one of 'em liked him when he was with us. I know he did stupid shit an' he made it clear he weren't their biggest fan, either. But they all seem to forget he'd gotten hisself killed tryin' to take down our enemy. I'd seen the bodies of the men he'd killed. I told myself he did it for us, to give us a chance to live. He was my only livin' blood an' I had to face everyday since tryin' not to think 'bout how he ain't ever comin' back.

"Easy for who?"

Now she lets go of my hand. I can feel the tension between us an' I brace myself, regrettin' my words. I really don't wanna argue again. I just wanna put all of it behind us an' move on. I know she don't mean it like that. She ain't tryin' to tell me his death meant nothin' at all. My temper will always get the best of me. I got a short fuse an' it's my biggest downfall.

"Don't twist my words around. You know better than to think I'd ever belittle what you went through."

She sounds pissed. I run my hands over my face an' rub at my eyes. I don't know how to turn this back 'round. I don't want her to be mad at me. I sigh an' reach out for her hand, it takes only a second to find it an' I'm relieved she don't fight me off. It's a good sign.

"I know."

I pull her hand up to my lips an' kiss the cool skin of her wrist, right over her scar. I needa remember I ain't the only one with losses an' pain. We already been through this, I just have to remind myself. I needa change the subject. Anything to get us back to where we were.

"You like your coat?"

She laughs. I feel my whole body relax at the sound. Least I know she ain't mad at me no more. She leans closer into my side. "I love it. It's really warm. Guess I can give you back your flannel, now."

I think of how good she looks in my shirt, how she smells like honey an' soap, but it's mixed with tobacco an' earth. The scent's intoxicatin'. Without realizin' it, I lean down an' run my nose up the side of her neck. She still smells like me. She sighs when my lips brush over her jaw. I speak against her skin.

"Naw. Like it more on you."

I can feel the muscles pull in her face under my lips as she smiles. Without a word she shifts herself an' ends up straddlin' my lap. Her fingers grip my shoulders an' she readjusts herself, the friction nearly kills me. She lets out a small laugh at my moan an' her lips are just above mine. "You want me, Daryl?"

Her voice's low an' throaty. Jesus, I don't think I'd ever wanted anything so bad in my life as I wanted her. An' not just here, like this. But always. I wanna find this safe haven in D.C. I wanna really have all the time to get to know each other, to show her I'm everything she needs. It'll never be easy, but I'll do whatever it takes to prove to her I'm just as good for her as any other guy could be. I just need time.

It's so fuckin' dark out, her figure over me's just another shadow. I lift my hands to her. One grips firmly at her hip, the other reaches to the back of her neck, pullin' her to me an' closin' the space between us. Her hands are at my face an' she sighs as my tongue parts her lips. She starts to grind against me an' I groan into her mouth. The friction's good but, fuck, it ain't enough. I grab her ass in both hands, tryin' to move her against me to relieve the ache. She whimpers against my lips, pushin' her hips down harder on me.

"Touch me."

Takes only a second to understand what she means. Those words fallin' from her lips send a trail of fire through my fuckin' body. She ain't ever been so forward with me as to tell me what to do. It only turns me on more to know she wants me just as bad as I want her. I unzip her coat an' open all the buttons of the flannel. Her hands hold tight to my shoulders as I kiss her, tuggin' the fronta her tank top down 'til it's under her bra. I push aside the fabric an' my fingers graze over her smooth skin. Her small breasts fit perfectly in my hands an' I nearly explode when she pushes herself against me.

"Fuck."

My thumb brushes against the necklace an' my pulse quickens. I hadn't meant it in that way, but I feel like she's marked by me. Marked as mine. I drop my mouth to her throat an' growl when she starts to move faster. I bite down gently, the vibration of her moan against my lips drives me insane. Bein' with Beth comes natural to me. I'd always thought fuckin' a woman was natural as it gets, but this ain't the same.

I ain't gonna lie, ever since the first time I took her, I'd thought of dozens of ways to fuck her. I'd hated myself for it, thinkin' I'd wanted us to be more than that. She's the one who told me it don't matter. An' since I'm all she ever had that way, I realized it really don't matter to her. I just have to remind myself that she don't see it the way I always had. She's my fresh start, my chance to make my life better. I need her like I need the air in my lungs.

"Oh, Daryl."

Her breathin' out my name makes me realize how far we're both ready to go. Right here. I don't want that. I clear my head enough to remember what I'm s'posed to be doin' out here. With more strength than I ever thought I had in me, I pull away from her. She stops her movement an' I feel her smile against my cheek.

"After your watch?"

I kiss her again, my forehead presses against hers an' I nod. I don't trust myself to speak. Part of me is questionin' my own sanity for stoppin'. My jeans dig painfully into me an' I almost think it'd be easier to drag her into the tent an' take care of the problem here an' now. But I push it down an' fix her bra an' shirt instead. She crawls offa my lap an' yawns.

"Guess I'll wait for you inside."

She kisses my cheek an' slips inside the tent. I let out my breath an' run my hands through my hair. That girl's drivin' me wild. I stare out into the night, tryin' to think of anything to ease my tension. Can't see shit out here, but it's quiet enough to hear if somethin' approached us. I pull my knife offa my hip an' twist it in my hands. Gonna be a long fuckin' night.

I spent my watch thinkin' of the argument I almost started with Beth. How easily I lose my temper. I tap the tip of my knife against the road, chippin' at the broken pieces of the asphalt. Maggie had told me I needed to start lettin' it out. She'd said they understood how I felt. I need to figure out how to keep from bottlin' it up inside me without goin' off on anyone who even slightly pisses me off. I hate arguin' with Beth. Maybe it's normal for people to fight like that. All's I know is it makes me think of how my parents would start their fights. An' I remember how those fights would end. My knife grinds harder into the ground. I won't ever let myself turn into my father, no matter what happens or how angry I get. I can't lose Beth 'cause of my temper. I pick my knife back up, run my finger over the tip. Duller now. Son of a bitch.

I don't know how long I sat out there 'fore I heard one of the doors open. Abraham climbed out an' walked over to me. I stood, bow at my side, an' cracked my back. I nodded to him an' he returned the gesture, headin' to sit on the hood of one of the cars next to our camp. I unzip the flap an' climb in, settin' my bow at the front. It ain't the biggest tent, but it's good enough for the two of us. An' it's bigger than the one we shared when the prison first fell. At first I thought she'd fallen asleep, but then a flashlight turned on an' she sat up wearin' nothin' but the necklace I gave her. Holy shit.

"Wanna finish what we started?"

A wicked grin spreads 'cross her face an' I feel all the blood in my body rush to my erection. Fuck. I take off my two shirts an' vest, kick off my boots an slide under the sheets with her. Her body is smooth an' cool against my skin. She turns the light off an' tosses it aside. I lean in an' kiss her as her hands quickly undo my belt an' pants. She pushes 'em down my hips an' pulls me closer to her. One of her hands leaves my shoulders an' I hear it smack 'round the ground. She digs in her bag an' smiles against my lips when she finds what she's lookin' for. Her hand finds mine an' she slips the condom between my fingers.

I tear it outta the pack an' put it on. But I don't go further. I can't stop thinkin' of the way I snapped at her earlier. Then I think of how mad she'd gotten at me this mornin', our first real argument an' how I'd thought I'd lost her. She pulls on me again an' I get between her legs, pushin' 'em apart with my knee. My hand runs down an' my fingers run over the soft skin between her thighs. She whimpers an' tells me to keep goin', her hips buck into my hand. I slip two fingers into her an' feel her fall back onto her pillow.

I want her to be happy. Selfishly, I want her to be happy with me. I needa know we're really alright. Even if only a few hours ago we'd been holdin' each other an' makin' out like a couple of fuckin' idiots, I can't shake the thought that we're off balance. It could just be me, coulda been some fear still inside me at the thought that she could finally have enough of my attitude an' defensiveness.

I don't know what comes over me. She's right here under me, beggin' me to take her. She sits up an' kisses me again, my fingers still inside her. Any proof I could have of her wantin' me is right in fronta me. But somethin' inside of me splinters. I pull my hand away, tuck my arm under her back an' pull her up to me. I hold her there an' run my lips along her jaw. "Tell me you love me."

Her breathin's uneven, pantin' as she speaks to me. "You know I do."

I keep still, a firm grip 'round her. "Tell me anyways."

"I love you."

I lower us back to the ground an' slowly enter her. The white-hot feelin' makes me wanna move, makes me wanna throw aside all thoughts an' give into her. But I hold out just a little longer. Her nails dig into my shoulder an' she tries to move against me. I start to pull back, placin' one of my palms flat against her stomach to hold her still. "Tell me you're mine."

She's still tryin' to move against me. I'm too strong for her an' she whimpers in frustration. I just needa know we're okay. She sighs. "Daryl, I'm yours. I've only ever been yours."

I push into her again an' my lips fall to her chest. She whimpers as I flick my tongue over her nipple, bucks into me when my teeth sink into her flesh. Her nails scratch down my chest an' I growl out against her skin. When I move to the other side, my lips graze the dreamcatcher. I kiss it an' she sighs out my name as her hand pulls through my hair. My mouth finds the base of her neck an' I run my tongue up the column of her throat, skimmin' my teeth over her jawline 'fore I get to the skin at her ear. I breathe against her, "I love you, baby."

I continue to thrust into her, hookin' my hand under her leg an' pullin' it up to my side. I remember the way she likes when my hips grind against her, how I can rub her clit with my pelvis. I focus on that. Focus on her throaty moans an' the way her body arches under mine. I forget everything when I can concentrate on her. She's all that matters anymore an' I'd be fuckin' lost without her.

"I love you so much, Daryl."

It's a beautiful sound. It's enough to break my heart an' put it back together at the same time. I can feel my body tense, feel her startin' to tighten up underneath me. After a few more thrusts, her thighs wrap 'round my middle an' she puts me in a vice. I feel my own release comin' an' my mouth crashes into hers. I swallow her moans an' move to sink my teeth into her shoulder, mufflin' my own when I finally let go.

We lie there for a few minutes, our bodies covered in sweat an' cold from the late autumn weather. I pull outta her, removin' the condom an' tossin' it to the side. I lay next to her an' close my eyes, tryin' to right my breathin'. She kisses my shoulder.

"You mind tellin' me what that was about?"

When I don't say anything, she sighs an' continues. "Are you upset with me?"

I keep my eyes closed an' speak to the ceilin'. "I don't wanna fight no more."

"Daryl, people argue. It's no big deal."

I turn to face her, prop myself up on my elbow. I still can't see her in the dark so I can't make out her mood. Her voice sounded calm. I shrug 'fore I can remember she won't see it. I know I needa be honest with her. It's just choosin' my words so I don't sound like a fuckin' idiot.

"I don't like us arguin'. I don't ever wanna hurt you."

I feel her fingers brush over my cheek. I lean my face into her palm. Her thumb runs over my skin an' it soothes me.

"It's okay to fight sometimes. You could never really hurt me. I know you'd never do that."

"You seemed pretty hurt earlier."

"But you didn't mean what you said. You were mad at me an' you lashed out. Maybe you haven't noticed, Daryl, but you tend to do that a lot."

A small laugh escapes her. She's tryin' to lighten the mood. Tryin' to pull me away from the edge. She knows I'm turnin' against myself. I don't know if she realizes she's the only one who can save me. I kiss her. When I pull away, I bury my face into her neck. I hear her yawn an' wrap my arm 'round her. I feel her start to drift off, hear her breathin' even out. I wait for a little while to see if she's gonna say anything else. When I realize she's fallen asleep, I place my lips against her throat. It's easier to voice my vulnerability to her when she's sleepin'. I gently kiss her skin an' sigh.

"I won't survive if I lose you, too."