Steve sat back on the couch and waited for Kayla to return from putting Stephanie down for her nap. Despite the open acknowledgment that they had many things to talk about, the ride home from the airport had been mostly quiet. Stephanie's happy babbling from the back seat provided most of the conversation.

Once they had arrived home, they had spent some time playing with Stephanie and talking about anything that would not lead to the very things they needed to talk about most. Finally, Stephanie's yawns had signaled nap time and Kayla had picked her up and carried her off.

He looked up as Kayla walked back into the living room and sat down beside him on the couch. They looked at each other for a long moment before Kayla reached up and gently touched the bruise on Steve's cheek.

"You want to tell me how this happened?" she asked. "What happened the other night?"

Steve could not help but smile. "That's two different stories, Sweetness. Which one do you want first?"

Kayla blinked in surprise. Then she sighed and said, "I guess you better just start from the beginning."

Steve hesitated. He knew he had promised to tell her the whole story, and he had no doubt she would hold him to it. But he also knew she was not going to be happy with him, and he was not sure he could make her understand.

"Steve?" Kayla's voice was calm, but insistent. "You said we'd talk about this when I got home. So start talking."

Steve nodded and began telling the story. He described how he had remembered the wine bottle and how he had recalled Kim's mention of Lawrence's wine cellar. He watched Kayla's eyes grow wide when he talked about breaking into Lawrence's house, and saw the storm building in those eyes as he described what had taken place inside and how the ISA had dragged him out.

He finished by telling her about Donovan holding him at ISA headquarters and that the wine bottles were gone by the time the ISA went back. Then he waited for the thunder that was sure to follow the storm.

"So," Kayla said, her voice one of barely controlled fury. "You remembered the wine bottle and decided that the only thing you could do was break into Lawrence's house - alone - and find it?"

"Baby-"

"Don't 'baby' me, Steve," Kayla snapped. "What the hell were you thinking?" She rolled her eyes. "Don't answer that, because you obviously weren't thinking at all."

"That's not true, Kayla." Steve shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I was thinking that this was my best chance to stop Alamain before he hurt even more people." He stood and began pacing. "I told you that they were testing something new on me. You and I both know that it's not just for fun. Alamain has plans for that stuff."

"I understand that," Kayla said, a bit calmer now. "What I don't understand is why you had to go in alone - or at all? Why didn't you just tell Shane what you remembered? Or Roman? Let them handle it."

"Let them handle it?" Steve turned and looked at Kayla. "Like they handled Alamain 'killing' me? Or the virus? Or Jennifer's rape?" He shook his head. "No, Kayla. Roman and Donovan play by the rules and Alamain knows it."

Steve watched as Kayla turned away and ran a hand over the arm of the couch. He walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Whatever Alamain is working on is dangerous, Kayla. And my gut tells me that he's not going to forget Salem when he decides to put it into use." He turned Kayla to face him. "I have to do whatever I can to protect you and Stephanie and the rest of our family. Can't you understand that?"

"What about you, Steve?" Tears sprang into Kayla's eyes. "While you're risking your life to protect everybody else, who's going to protect you?"

"Oh, baby." Steve's heart clinched at the sight of Kayla's tears, hating that he put them there. "I can take care of myself. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"Don't say that, Steve." Kayla's voice grew angry again. "You just told me that the ISA pulled you out of that house because one of Alamain's guards was about to find you. What do you think would have happened if they had?"

Steve mentally kicked himself for including that bit of information in his description. "I would have gotten away, Kayla. It would take more than one of Alamain's guards to stop me. Like I said, I can take care of myself. I always have."

"Except for when Alamain took you the last time," Kayla said, her voice shaking with emotion.

Steve flinched at Kayla's words. He could hear the anger and hurt in her voice. But he also heard something else - fear. "That's not going to happen again," he said sharply.

Kayla laughed harshly. "You can't guarantee that, Steve." She looked at him. "Answer my question. What do you think would have happened if they had captured you?"

Steve turned away. He knew all too well what would have happened. A return trip to a cell or a shallow grave somewhere. But somebody had to stop Alamain. He just needed to find a way to make Kayla understand. As he was searching for the right words, Kayla spoke again.

"Do you love me?" Kayla's voice was quiet and calm this time. "Do you love our daughter?"

Steve spun around, stunned at Kayla's question. As he looked into her eyes, he could see she was serious. Steve felt a fear he had never felt before as he choked out his reply. "Of course I love you and Stephanie. You know I do. How can you even ask that question?"

Soft tears ran down Kayla's face. "Then why do you seem so eager to leave us again?" she demanded. "Do you have any idea what that would do to us - to me?"

Steve's heart nearly broke. He had expected Kayla to be angry with him, but he had never expected that she would doubt his love for her. "Kayla-"

"No, Steve." She cut him off. "When I couldn't reach you the other night, all I could do was think of all the bad things that might be happening. Were you hurt? Or worse?" Kayla stood up and wiped the tears from her face. "I crawled into that bed and relived everything that happened after that boat explosion. Do have any idea how that feels?"

Steve felt the guilt wash over him in waves, as the tears continued to fall down Kayla's face. He had been so eager to get the goods on Alamain that he had not considered how any of it might affect Kayla. But he also was not sure he would have done anything differently.

"Baby, I don't want to leave you. You've gotta believe that." He stared into Kayla's eyes, begging her to see what he was trying to say. "I'm sorry that I scared you the other night and I wish I could make those bad memories go away." Steve reached out a brushed his hand across Kayla's cheek. "You have to know that all I want to do is be with you and watch our daughter grow up. It's all I've ever wanted." He paused, taking a shaky breath. "But I can't sit around and wait for Alamain to hit back at us. Somebody has to do something."

"Somebody?" Kayla's voice was raw with emotion. "Not somebody, Steve. You. Always you." The tears streamed down her face as her voice rose. "You had to go into Alamain's house. You had to go after Jencon. You had to go after Bo that night. Why?"

"Sweetness-"

"No!" Kayla yelled, balling her hands into fists. "You tell me why it's always you, Steve." Her fist struck his chest. "Why did you have to leave the party that night? Why didn't you stay when I begged you too stay with me?" Her fists continued to beat on his chest as she let out one last anguished cry. "Why did you die?"

Steve knew he had no answers for her questions. All he could do was wrap arms around Kayla and hold her to his chest as she poured out her anger and her grief. Each sob was like a knife to his heart. He remembered Kayla telling him how she had grieved after she thought he had died, but this was the first time he had really let himself feel her pain. He had been so wrapped up in his own emotions that he had been unable to see hers. Steve felt the tears on his own cheek as he pulled her even closer.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said over and over again as he stroked her hair. After a few moments, he felt her grow still and the only sounds were her soft sobs muffled against his chest.