Sorry the chapters are kind of lame, I have been really busy and trying to handle other things.
If there is anything you wish to see that happens in these few episodes let me know.
If there anything you guys want me to change I will, just comment what you are thinking.
lot's of love xoxo-kate
I tapped my fingers against the mahogany desk. It has been twenty-four hours since I last saw cell block C and my heart beats ran high. The stress was terrible, the paces were long, and the walls were too hard to punch through. I felt trapped, caged like an animal kept away for what seemed to be an eternity. I knew Beth, Hershel, and Carl were all here but I still felt alone. I felt so isolated. Although I would have craved for the quiet alone time before I had an awakening now all I craved for was not to feel useless. "You okay?" I heard the small boy ask from the other side of the door. He had make it a routine to check up on me every so often during the day. He would pee in like watching a lion stalk around in a pen waiting to stick whatever came into its path of escaped, because that is exactly how I felt.
"No," I shook my head leaning against the door.
Carl sighed pressing his back to it. "I know me too. I feel like there is so much more I could be doing but instead I am stuck in here."
"The feeling is mutual."
"I am sorry Rose," he suddenly said catching me off guard with this apology. "Back when we first came into this prison I really hated you. I am sorry for hating you, I had no reason to."
I shrugged. "It is alright. I would have hated me too."
"Do you think everything is going to be alright?" I frowned.
"Will it ever be alright?"
He shot away from the door. "I think my dad is coming I will come check on you later." And then I saw his figure run away; so defiant, so wounded.
I slowly turned around until my back was to the door and slid down the bumpy surface stopping when my butt hit the cold floor. How long would this isolation last? Days, weeks, months…I would not be able to handle that. Beth could because she was mature, responsible, and had Judith to occupy her running mind. What did I have? A handgun and some pens. "Rose." I looked up his shadow passing over onto the floor. What a warm shadow.
"What." It came out bitterly.
His shadow shifted. "How are you doing in there?"
"Terrible." I moved to my left hand to push myself off the ground into a standing position. "I don't understand why I can't just come out there and help. I will be fine."
Daryl shook his head. "You know you won't."
"How do you know?" I gritted my teeth. "We've been through this before Daryl, you have to trust me."
"I do trust you." His hands pressed against the door. "It's this virus I do not trust. If you caught it…who knows what would happen. We both know your immune system is not at its prime. You're pregnant and malnourished. You would die."
I sighed rolling my head against the glass of the door window. "I hate not being able to do anything." I could feel his empathy roll underneath the door to press into my skin. It made me squeeze my eyes hard for the pain of his pain. I wanted it all to stop. "How is my brother?"
It took him awhile to respond. "He is with Alice."
"That does not answer on how he is doing…" Sarcasm was hard to hold back.
"He is fine." Daryl nodded. "I have to go."
"Alright. Will you come by later?" Something was off in the way he shuffled at the question.
"I have to go on a run, for medication. Hershel says that a veterinarian school will have the same medication we need for the people who are sick." My lip was trembling, my eyes were watering. Why was it always him? "I will be back, sooner than you think and when I return you can come out again because we will have the medicine to treat everybody okay?" his hands left the door. "I love you."
I bit my cheek as the stray tear ran down my face. "I love you too." He was off just as quick as he came. The baby gave a lurch forward sensing the oncoming distress on my heart. My fingers curled around my palm indenting white half-moon crescents into the skin until the phalanges were numb. I brought the tight fist back and slammed it into the door not knowing where else to let my frustration out on. I gave out a sound between a scream and his name but it got lost in confusion of anguish. I was not sad. I was angry. Anger was the cause of these tears streaking down my furrowed eyes, anger was the cause of my curled up fist, anger was always the cause…
An hour had passed, or was it a minute? I had no idea how long I leaned against that door waiting for someone to tell me I could come out. The solitude was killing me and with Daryl gone everyone would be down one less man. They needed me. I yanked the door open and walked down the hall. I remember Beth leading the way with a whining Judith in her arms. I tried to figure out my path back. I did not care how long it took me to find my way out, sooner or later I would be home bound. Something in my stomach churned with betrayal. I knew leaving would cause a fight with Daryl or something of that sort but I needed him to understand I was so useless in there. People needed my help. Cell Block C was emptier than usual. "Rick?" I called out hoping the cop would answer me. "Hello?" Graves were being dug, people had left with Daryl, and the infected were all lock away somewhere else…the emptiness scared me. I heard whispering, a low soft mumble followed by an even quieter cough.
"It's gunna be okay…its gunna be okay…"
I pushed the curtain aside. "Glenn?" He was hunched over holding his sweaty hands in each other almost praying.
His hand shot out towards me. "D-Don't come in."
"What is the matter Glenn? Do you want me to get Maggie?" I stepped closer.
He turned to look at me his face just as sweaty as his hands. "I have it."
Instead of turning away from him like a smart person I walked towards him wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling him to his feet. "Come on, we'll get you Alice." I falter under his body weight, I needed to pretend I was strong for his sake.
"Rose," he wrangled in my grasp but was too weak to push me away. "You need to get away from me. You need to go back by Beth."
I chuckled. "Well you sure aren't strong enough to push me away, so you sure as hell can't get yourself help." It shut him up. I dragged him towards cell block A where Carl had told me all the sick infested people were being held. I knew it was wrong for me to take one step into there, but I had a job to do. Sickness felt draped over me like a dirty blanket once I was inside, yet I trudged on until I found Alice. She was in a dark, damp cell block her face was pale and sweaty as she leaned over a woman taking her heart beat.
She squeezed her eyes shut before standing up straight. Her eyes met mine, and then flashed to Glenn. "What are you doing here Rose? You need to get out of here."
"I needed to help Glenn." I nodded towards him in my arms. "He is sick."
Alice wrapped Glenn's arm around her like I had just had him. They both staggered but stayed put. "I have got him now go back to the administration building." She brushed past me.
I followed her. "Is there anything I can do?"
She walked into a cell and placed Glenn down on a bed where he began to cough. Alice check his pulse on his right wrist before turning to me. "No, now you need to leave before I go get someone to do so."
"Everyone is either sick or locked away, or on a run." I crossed my arms. "You need my help."
"We have Doctor S. here and me, we are fine."
I reached out and gripped her forearm to stop her from pushing me out. "I am staying her to help no matter what you have to stay to me. I don't care what explanation you have to give, or what Daryl will do when he comes back I am helping. I will not go into that office again and feel useless while everyone else dies around me."
Alice stared at my face with eyes full of guilt for deciding whatever she was deciding. She nodded towards upstairs. "Sasha needs some water, and Bill, that man up there on the left, may need to be locked away. He could barely open his eyes last time I checked on him." she nodded and stalked off no doubt looking for a way to put down that woman she just checked on. This cell block was a tomb. I started up the stairs my fingers just lightly grasping the railing on my way up. Coughing was the soundtrack in this drank movie credits rolling with blood. No wonder I was banned from here. I peered in the cell Bill was in listening for any sound coming from him but nothing met my ears. Just a matter of time… the cell door made me cringe when it finally closed.
"I was hoping we could meet again," a voice wheezed from behind me.
"Sasha?" I questioned as she hunched towards me gripping the wall for support. She slowly nodded. "Why did you want to meet me again?"
She chuckled then began to cough. "You weren't pregnant the last time you sentenced me to death." Her eyes met mine and the repressed memories tried to force back through. "When did that happen?"
"I wish I could tell you…" I frowned at her haggard body. "I came to give you some water." I held out the cup. "Alice said you might need some."
She slowly took it to her mouth. "You still want to kick me out of here?"
"I wouldn't be helping you if I did." My shoulder hit the cold cement of the wall. I tried to learn to lick these strangers, even Sasha, but it was hard too. Even Alice was hard to call my friend for her stay in Woodbury was just as long as anyone else's here. I could not trust them. I told myself I did not hate them but I was just lying to not show anger towards these sick people. They did not need my glaring eyes.
Sasha nodded past me. "Your brother is just in that cell down there."
I stood up straight. "What? He's in here?" I spun around quickly rushing down the walkway towards his cell. I had no idea he was sick. Maybe this is what they were hiding from me; maybe this is why no one told me, for if they did I was no doubt going to come in here.
"Rose!" Alice called from below. Distraction…don't pay attention to her. "Rose, please come help me." I halted slowly turning to look at her. She was rolling a cart covered with a sheet that held a body, a body of that woman I suspected. "Just for a second." I abandoned my brother and headed back for the stairs. I kept in mind he would not move, that I could just come back in here for him. Alice stuck her face into her shirt coughing harshly. "Sorry," she said quietly and began to roll this make-shift body bag out of cell block A.
"Why did you not tell me he was in here? Why did you not tell me he was sick?" I asked her fury in my veins for their ignorance of my brotherly needs. But you don't care about him…He left you…
Alice did not respond but instead positioned the cart against the wall. "Hold it still." She told me then stepped backwards. I pulled the sheet back a little to get a clean stab to the head but a pillow lay under the sheet. It was too late. The cell block door closed, and locked behind me before I could even protest.
"Let me in! Let me in!" I pounded on the door just picturing my brother lying there. "Alice please! My brother!"
"You need to stay away from him, from us…you need to stay safe." She coughed into her elbow. "I am sorry friend."
Again my fist was curled. "If you were my friend you would let me see him." Alice walked away from me. I tried the handle again, but she had locked it this time. Locked me away from my sick brother. He could die and I could never see him again. But you hate him remember… I gave the door one last kick before stomping away from the cell block. This would not be the end of my attempts to feel worth something.